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Some days I do my Creative Dream Practice, I meet my dream and journal and meditate and feel in alignment…

and then I just go my stuff.

I don’t write a post to share about it because there's not much to say.

It’s the days when I feel lost that I write more, because writing helps me find my way through AND I feel we need to normalize that we feel stuck OFTEN on the way to a dream. And that FEELING stuck is fine - just keep showing up and working with it.

So, don’t worry about me!

I’m sharing a lot of the harder stuff because I think this is more valuable to share. I'm actually having lots of good, creative days 🙂

With that said, here’s today’s post:

I just feel heavy and foggy today. I had a bike ride and coffee and journaling and I can’t shake this feeling.

So, taking heavy foggy into the Un-Sticking Station:

It shows up right away and says: I’m not heavy or foggy I am sad.

Oh, sweetheart, I’m so sorry. Here, let’s get you a cushy blanket and some tea and cookies. A big pillow to lean on. There’s so much to be sad about, this is so valid.

My sad self bursts into tears. I offer her Kleenex.

What can I do?

I kind of want to pull you under here, you know? Let’s just BE SAD ALL DAY.

OK, that feels like resistance speaking, not sadness.

I know, right? Interesting.

Can I talk to JUST sadness, with no resistance hiding behind it?

Hmmmm, sadness WITHOUT resistance. That’s interesting.

Are you able to separate yourself from resistance?

Resistance seems to LOVE to glom on to sadness and use it, like a curtain to hide behind.

That is interesting. AND annoying because right now I can’t separate them.

Sadness, do you want me to do these things I wanted to do today?

Oh yeah, I do. I think that doing these things help us not be sad.

And then there is this little whisper of “But it’s too hard, let’s not do it today”

Which invites the question: Are things harder for me to sort through because of the divorce OR are my life-long companions, resistance and self-doubt, using the divorce as a diversion, so they can take over?

Probably both.

Also, does it matter?

 

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