Our dreams need each other. Capitalist and colonialist structures have created a world where some people are held up while others are pushed down. But our dreams need each other. We all NEED everyone's dreams in order to succeed.
We ALL need a level playing field.
Remember: Your dream is how your soul calls you towards your True Self. It's bigger than you and it comes from the place where we're all connected. Our dreams were meant to grow together.
The other day as I was working on new plans for my marketing systems I kept getting SUPER STUCK.
There were layers and layers of stuck, so I got un-stuck and then stuck again and then un-stuck and stuck again. This is just how it is some days, when you allow the Inner Work to inspire and direct the Outer Work.
This was the BIG STICKY STUCK that I found at the bottom of all of those layers:
A blue baby monster that cried "You're being TERRIBLE AND GREEDY!!!!!!"
That familiar old story that I'm not allowed to want more, I should be grateful for what I have.
(And I am - grateful that is - but that doesn't mean I don't also see MORE in my future)
Which is followed by a sense of SHAME for even wanting more.
As I make space for the shame I do start to feel just deeply wildly grateful. It IS amazing that I get to do the work that is more interesting, inspiring and fulfilling to me, AND that I have 100% freedom over HOW I do that work. AND I have an amazing family. I am loved. I am safe. I am healthy. I have my dream home and a kick ass bike. I have everything I need to feel my best.
Honestly, I feel like a 1%-er.
I do totally believe that I am probably HAPPIER than a lot of the 1%-ers. But obviously I am nowhere near a 1%er. Though I am very good with money, and live well without spending tons.
But I FEEL LIKE one. I feel how much more I have than others.
I feel how my path has been EASIER.
Now - it's not as easy as people tend to THINK.
Some people hear about the work I do and assume I am bankrolled by a parent or spouse, which I have not been - I got married after I had been 100% self employed for 6 years. I built my business on my own. I worked REALLY hard and overcame a LOT of obstacles.
BUT
I am an extremely privileged person.
I had a lot of savings because I had a good job, which was fairly easy for me to get. I have a university education which my parents paid for and forced me to have (I did try to drop out at one point and they wouldn't hear it). I had enough food my whole childhood so my brain could develop properly. I live in a country with free health care.
I owned a home with a low mortgage payment because I used an inheritance I received from my beloved aunt who passed away. Which never felt like a privilege because I would have preferred to have my aunt of course. But now that I understand how many people who pass away and instead of leaving a little money leave a debt for their families to pay for end of life expenses, I see the privilege.
My parents grew up with absolutely nothing and managed to put themselves through university and create a beautiful, stable life for their children.
This left me with the idea that anyone who works hard at it can do the same.
My parents faced a LOT of adversity. And, especially my mother, sacrificed a LOT. But as white people, they ALSO had a lot of privilege.
Now I understand the truth: LOTS of people face adversity and work hard. But some people, no matter how hard they work, continue to have new obstacles placed in front of them, while others can use that hard work to propel themselves into a different economic class.
This is capitalism and colonialism and white supremacy. This is the world we live in and this is the world we DREAM in.
This FACT - that I have privilege which has made it easier to make my dreams real, is making it really hard for me to think about DREAMING BIGGER right now. Which is where that shame comes from.
So I am holding both truths. I DO feel inspired to keep moving forward with my dreams and I DO feel really conflicted about it.
And I DO believe that our dreams connect us with our PURPOSE and POTENTIAL and that we need all the purpose and potential we can get to change this world.
I believe that collectively our dreams will lead us to a better world for all.
AND some days I wonder how me, a privileged person, helping other privileged people make their dreams real really helps the world.
I mean every time I say this out loud to someone, that person quickly responds to remind me of all the things I do that help others.
And I do know my work is valuable, I am not questioning that. I am questioning it's place in the context of the whole - and I think it's an important question to sit with and not rush to answer.
I am actually making space for a new and more inclusive approach.
And yes I know the easy answer to this question: some people serve by holding the higher vision of what we are moving towards (which is me, the visionary) and some people serve by helping those who are in the most acute need (my husband, the social worker).
And both are needed and valid forms of help.
But there IS a bit of a stench of spiritual bypass in that it feels like an excuse to stay away from the harder questions.
My husband is an Indigenous social worker. Living with him has opened my eyes to how systemic racism functions in Canada and it breaks my heart. It's like I always knew it was there but now I live with it.
In my city - where I leave my MacBook Pro and iPad Pro sitting out in coffee shops when I go to the bathroom because I feel that safe here - Indigenous women and girls are NOT SAFE. They are trafficked, kidnapped and murdered at rates that would have the whole city on alert, if it was happening to white women.
I remember when I was growing up, everyone was against Apartheid in South Africa. We couldn't believe that was happening in our world.
But it was happening in our city too. And it still is happening. It's just a little more subtle so it's easier for white people to look away - which allows it to continue.
I cannot pursue my own dreams while ignoring this framework of racism and white supremacy that I grow my dreams in.
I am one person living in a broken system, I can't change that system.
But white privileged people IGNORING the system actually nurtures the system. So I know that I need to NOT just carry on with my work and ignore what's happening in the world around me.
I don't know what else to do right now.
I'm not supposed to have the answers.
All I can have right now is a commitment to keep exploring this. And a willingness to sit with the questions without rushing to answers.
And I will do so publicly because I would like to encourage YOU to explore with me.
Over the last 2 years, I have been working hard on re-thinking my work and creating a whole new framework for how I help creative people make their dreams real.
This kind of re-imagining takes a LOT of energy. So, for the last 2 years, I have had to pull back on other parts of my business. Most notably: marketing.
Whatever your dream is, there are some parts of it that you LOVE to work on and some parts that you don't love. And, whatever your dream is, your dream NEEDS YOU to take care of it, all parts of it, even the parts you don't like.
AND you can always bring the magic + love you feel for your dreams and use that energy to fuel the more annoying tasks that just need to get done.
So that's what I am trying to do now as I'm taking some time to focus on marketing.
Marketing itself isn't the problem.
Marketing is how you shine your light. It's how you share the message behind your work with the people who want to hear it.
Marketing is actually pretty fun and interesting. I mean you have total freedom to do it however you want. You can make artwork or videos or a podcast... you can create challenges or throw a party.
There is no limit to HOW you can put the word out there and get people excited about your work.
The problem is all of my internal reactions to marketing.
A few months ago I got a long, angry, ranty email from someone who signed up for my free class and then didn't even take the class, unsubscribed from my emails, and then a week later decided to respond to one of the emails I had sent before she unsubscribed.
She was upset her friend who had just become a life coach who seemed to care only about the money as she was trying to get a business started. She said she understood that she doesn't know anything about me or my work but now her whole view of the industry was changed.
She said she couldn't believe in her own dreams anymore.
This week I want to focus on developing and refining my marketing systems.
I have all sorts of ideas I am really excited about.
But then I think about the sleazy side of online marketing and I think about all the people who are just FED UP with being "sold to" and I worry about not getting too close to the gross stuff and "what if someone thinks I'm sleazy?"
And I get all tangled up and working on marking starts to SEEM very sticky and complicated.
Another problem I have is how marketing in the personal growth/life transformation has become so homogeneous.
How we have somehow developed "Standard Ways Everyone Is Supposed To Do Things".
I mean, if I see one more "boss babe" who looks like every other "boss base" with that exact same shade of pink branding that they all have trying to sell me my best life I WILL scream!
BUT then there is this other part of my brain that picks up on this, believe that "this is The Way To Do Business Online" and expects ME to fit in and is quickly judging all of my ideas as being "too different".
And even though I know with 100% certainty that some of those boss babes are actually lying about their success and using "fake it till you make it" as a business strategy, this part of my brain believes that this is the way to run a successful business!
(This is actually deliberate - a lot of "persuasive marketing techniques" are downright manipulation)
The truth is, we have all the space in the world to do things our own way. Infinite creative possibilities.
So this is my mission right now:
Throw all this junk I am thinking/feeling about online marketing into one of those gold panning things and sift out the sleaze until I am left with little nuggets of goodness, the essence of marketing as the way that I shine the light and invite people into the world of the Creative Dream Incubator (which is a pretty amazing world to be a part of!).
And then use those nuggets IN MY UNIQUE WAY.
I don't have to melt them down to make the same ring everything else is making and then sell it in the same way everyone else is selling it.
I can make something else entirely.
We ALL have that freedom.
Wish me luck!
The Challenge is happening April 29 - May 3 2019, on Instagram.
The Creative Self-Care Challenge is sponsored by Upgrade Your Creative Engine. A Coaching Group for Generating Momentum for Artists, World-Changers and Dreamers. May 6-26.
If you're ready to really REV UP your creative power to generate the momentum you need to make your dreams real - this group is for you.
Find our more + save your spot here. (This happened in May 2019)
It's a gorgeous Friday in my little corner of the world.
I'm working from bed, with the window open and a vase of fresh cut lilacs on the night stand. I LOVE this time of year when I can keep the window open all day, before it gets too hot for that.
My cat Bear is curled up beside me sleeping. Once in a while he wakes and stretch and I hear a little yawn. Then he goes back to sleep.
I'm drawing. All day. My heart is so happy!
I've got my period last night. Last year I decided to start honouring this time, to slow down and listen better to what my body needs. Make it a sacred retreat.
Today that means: leaving the rest of this week's to-to list for next week, super long meditation this morning, now lying in bed sniffing lilacs, drawing on my iPad while watching Jane the Virgin on netflix. With pizza and salad and honey lattes.
This is artwork I'm currently working on, for the little booklet that will go with my new deck of Journal Cards for Dreamers that I've been working on and hoping to share soon:
As horrified and terrified as I am by what's happening in the world, I am believing, more than ever, in the magic and power of our dreams.
Between climate change and the rise of white nationalism, my heart is really hurting. And the scarier it all gets, the more we need to let our dreams to guide us. Our dreams are always leads us to what's TRUE and what's NEEDED. Our dreams are who we are here to be.
I'm getting ready to make some changes in the Creative Dream Incubator, because these scary times we're living in DO call for deeper dream support.
I'm creating a new class on developing a DEEP practice for working with your dreams, of making SPACE for your dream.
It will only be available in the Creative Dream Circle, but I will be opening up monthly memberships in the Circle to make it easier for anyone who wants DEEP support to get it.
And I'll be sharing the new Journaling Cards for Dreamers soon-ish.
Plus I've got some other projects underway that I am not quite ready to start talking about just yet.
The world is calling for our dreams, now more than ever. I want to do what I can do help you answer the call.
These journal prompts are for playing and creating with.
Use them as little diving boards to dive off into other things to explore – the most important part of journaling is following your creative impulse, not answering all of the prompts perfectly!
If you feel inspired to - play around with different coloured pens, markers and pencil crayons. Or use collage or make your own art to illustrate your answers.
When you engage your creativity in your journaling that makes it easier to access your creative genius, the part of you that knows how to bring your dreams to life – plus it’s more fun that way! But there are lots of ways to engage your creativity and of course you can also just use pen and paper if that's what floats your boat.
The journaling prompts are divided into 2 sections: looking back and looking forward.
Goodbye 2018. Looking back:
What was amazing in 2018?
What did you do in 2018 that you’re proud of?
What did you learn/discover that you want to bring into 2019?
What do you want to leave behind in 2018?
What are you most grateful for about 2018?
How did your dreams grow in 2018?
What did you do to help your dreams grow in 2018? What worked? What didn’t work?
How did YOU grow in 2018? What gifts and strengths do you have now that you didn’t have in 2017?
Is there anything you need to do to complete your year? Any unfinished business that you’d like to finish, and leave behind as you move into 2019?
Hello 2019! Looking forward:
Try to list 5-10 things (impossibly big or microscopically small or anything in between) you’d like to have happen in 2019, in each of these different parts of your life:
health
relationships
creativity
purpose/career
money
self-love/self-care
spirituality
happiness
adventure/play
I know that seems like a lot, but the act of listing TONS of things can really open up your sense of possibility. So spend some time with this - I find it's best to leave this list out somewhere for a week or so, so I keep adding new things as I think of them.
When you're done go back through your list and imagine how each of these things will make you happier in 2019. If there is anything on your list that won’t truly make you feel happier – consider crossing it out.
What is your Big Dream for 2019?
Why do you want this?
How will you feel when you have it?
Do you already know how to make this dream real, or is this something you need to learn more about first?
What’s your plan for giving this dream what it needs to thrive in 2019? Brainstorm at least 10 things you can try.
What do you want to STOP doing in 2019? And what are some things you can you do to make that as easy as possible? How will not having these things in your life make you happier?
Then imagine yourself at the end of 2019 (You might want to draw/collage/doodle an image of you from one year from now). How are you different? How did you grow? What new strengths and skills do you have? Does you-from-one-year-from-today have any messages or advice for you?
Here’s to a sparkletastic New Year, for all of us.
This week I posted two new tutorials on my blog: How To Be More Creative and How To Be More Productive. These are the kinds of things I have to remind myself of all the time, which is why I share them with you.
They both give the same advice: Remember that you are a powerhouse of creative ideas and magic, and deal with the things that stop you from *being* a powerful house of creative ideas and magic.
I teach people how to make their dreams real by showing them how to dismantle and transform their inner obstacles: fear, self-doubt, limiting beliefs, sabotaging patterns, etc.
Once you get rid of that stuff you're more connected to your True Self.
So you're more connected to your Inner Wisdom which can show you how to make your dream real. And you're also more connected to your CREATIVE FLOW. It's your CREATIVE FLOW that will take you to your dream. It's powerful enough to bust through the outer obstacles (or at least find a way around them).
Your work is never to change yourself.
To become more creative or more productive or more focused or more whatever it is you think you have to be to make your dreams real.
YOU are already perfect, just as you are.
Your work is to work on the things that stop you from being YOU. Once you're doing that - well there's no stopping you!
Today I'm flying to California for a creative retreat.
I'm spending a week in Oakland, at my friend Chris Zydel's intuitive painting studio.
Absolute heaven.
On my last day there, Chris and I are going to to a one-day online workshop together - all about working on the stuff that stops creative people from making their dreams real.
Facing the things that stop you, unraveling them, taking back your power, and getting in touch with your CREATIVE FLOW.
Join us for Gifts Of The Shadow: Wild Creative Momentum on Dec 4, 2018.
Practically speaking it's not that hard to be productive. You only need two things:
- A plan for how you're going to do what you want to do.
- To take step after step to implement the plan.
It's quite simple... in theory.
I'm meeting my mom for lunch today so I'll use this as an example for how to be more productive.
I'm going to make a plan and then implement it on time. This is what productivity is. My plan for this is so simple I don't even need to write it down but here goes:
- Change from my pyjamas into real clothes.
- Pack up my laptop and journals as I want to go to Starbucks after lunch to do some admin stuff.
- Get bundled up - it's cold out there!
- Get on my bike and go. I already know the route I want to take.
- Lock my bike outside the restaurant and go in.
- Have lunch with my mom!
I know my plan is solid because I've done this before. Once I get going I just keep going until I am done. I'm 100% sure that I won't just stop my bike halfway there and sit on the sidewalk and not finish my plan for getting to the restaurant.
But when it comes to being more productive about our creative dreams we DO tend to get off our bikes and sit on the sidewalk for no apparent reason.
Sometimes we never change out of our pyjamas. Or we go to the wrong restaurant.
We could even get on the wrong bike.
More often: we don't ever make a plan in the first place.
Using the example of me meeting my mom for lunch really illustrates how silly a lot of our productivity issues are. Why do we do this?
Because we think that being productive in service to our creative dreams is infinitely more complicated than me going to meet my mom for lunch.
We're wrong. It's not. I mean it's going to take longer, but the principles are the same:
You decide what you're going to do and then you do it.
Productivity is very straightforward. When it comes to our dreams, what makes it seem so complicated is our conscious and unconscious emotional reactions and patterns.
But it's not complicated.
If you want to be selling your art on Etsy, but instead of making art every night after work you're watching Netflix - well the problem is that you're watching Netflix instead of making art and learning how to use Etsy.
You're not following through.
You probably have reasons why you're watching Netflix instead of making art, but if you look closer these reasons are probably excuses that are masking a fear.
It's our fears that make it seem complicated. It's our self-doubt that leaves us wondering what to do, instead of just diving in.
It's our sad old stories about who we are and what is possible for us that tell us that it's easier to just put our dreams on hold.
So how do we push through all of this and actually be more productive?
There are thousands of productivity experts out there who will tell you that they have a system that will teach you how to be more productive. But here's the thing: you don't need to learn to be more productive.
There isn't any tool or technique that will magically change you into a more productive being.
You already have a natural creative flow which you can tap into to make amazing things happen.
You just need to learn how to manage that stuff that gets in the way of your productivity. (This is the stuff I help with you in Dream Book 😉
You can't be more productive until you've dealt with the stuff that stops you from being more productive.
The fear, self-doubt and sad old stories. This is the stuff that gets in the way. Your shadow.
This is the stuff that tells you you're not productive or you can't be more productive or you're a procrastinator or whatever.
Underneath all of that: you are a powerhouse of creative ideas and magic!
There is *so much magic* and possibility in you it can naturally power your creative productivity. You've just got to open up the flow.
The first thing to know about how to be more creative is that you already are a creative genius. This is a part of what it means to be human. You have creativity within you.
Too many people are looking outside of themselves for inspiration, instruction and guidance about how to be more creative.
You won't find your answer outside of you. That's kind of the opposite of what creativity actually is, isn't it? Creativity is about finding and then sharing your unique voice in your unique way. To do this you have to:
- get quiet enough to be able to hear your inner voice
- get brave enough to share it
There is only one thing that will help you to be more creative: PRACTICE.
Your ability to share your creative voice will grow with practice. Start small. Make time for it every day or every week - the more often the better. If you want to be as creative as possible you need to practice as often as possible. A daily creative practice IS magic. It will teach you everything you need to know about your creative voice and how to best share it. A daily creative practice will hold you through the ups and downs of growing towards your creative potential.
I mean you can't be more creative without literally being more creative. You have to just do the work.
If something is stopping you from doing the work - it's NOT a lack of creativity. "I'm not creative" is a story we tell ourselves to avoid the real story because it's too painful. The real story, of course, is that it's terrifying to share your creative voice. It's vulnerable and awkward. It means facing your self-doubt and inner critics.
The path to being more creative goes right through all of this uncomfortable stuff. It goes through your shadow.
Last week I wrote about What Is Shadow Work and How To Do Shadow Work. Being more creative and being more productive (that's what I'm going to write about next) are the results of facing the shadow. (That's why Chris and I called our shadow workshop Gifts of the Shadow: Wild Creative Momentum) Let me show you what I mean: When I talk about having a regular creative practice being the key to being more creative - what is it that makes you think you can't do that? For most people this is a story about why you don't have enough time or the right space or the right skills. You start by exploring that story and looking for a way through it. How can you MAKE time/space? How can you start even though you don't feel ready? What is the SMALLEST step you can take? The path to expressing your creativity more fully will likely be made up of thousands of teeny tiny steps. No step is too small and waiting until you can take a big step is not moving you closer to where you want to be. The more deeply you explore this story the more likely you are to find your shadow lives at the core of it: old stories and wounds about how you're not good enough to be considered an artist, fears, self-doubt, inner critics.
This is the stuff that stops you from expressing your unique creative voice. Handle this stuff and your natural creative energy will burst through.
I know this is HARD. But your creative voice needs your courage! If you want some help with this I'm offering a 1 day workshop on working through your shadow stuff to liberate your Wild Creative Momentum with my friend and colleague Chris Zydel on Dec 4.
This is Bear, sitting on the stairs. This picture is actually kind of a miracle.
One week before we got him, my husband and I burned the last of the medicines we had used for Starfish's bundle, like the little bits of plants and stems we had cut off that ended up on the floor after we were finished his ceremony.
(I wrote the story of Starfish's passing here)
We were going to burn them in the fire we had a month after his passing on the new moon to feast him. But we forgot to add them to that fire and it kind of felt like we were holding on, not quite ready for that last goodbye.
When we were ready, we burned them and told Starfish how much we missed him and how grateful we were for his presence in our lives and asked him to send us a nice cat when we were ready.
Six days later, my husband suddenly fell in love with a cat in a shelter while he was looking for a puppy for a client. I said no. Absolutely not. We're not ready. We should wait until we've moved. And we wanted to get a mellow, older cat.
But my husband wouldn't let up, he knew this was our cat.
That night I dreamed about this cat, so the next morning I agreed to to see him.
Of course, as soon as I laid eyes on him it was all over.
This was our cat. We brought him home.
Bear was born in a shelter and had lived there for 1.5 years, he never knew a life outside of being in a cage. He didn't know what a home was and he was pretty freaked out to be here.
For the first few days he hid in random places and then one day we came home and couldn't find him anywhere. His food and cat box were un-used and Bear was nowhere to be seen for over 24 hours. We were so scared.
And then the next morning I heard a small meow.
We had already done this, but I decided to try again. Behind our fridge is a fridge-sized storage area, and beside that is our hot water tank and furnace - this is behind the kitchen wall and under the stairs. You have to pull out the fridge to get in there. So I pulled out the fridge and went in there and looked around and this time I saw him.
He was all the way in the back under the first stair I just saw his little eyes peeking out. I moved the fridge out and to the side so we could walk into this space. I put his cat box where the fridge had been (still kind of blocked by the fridge so it was quite private) and put his food and water on the furnace.
I told him that under the stairs could be his little apartment for as long as he needed. Now - we can't get around the furnace, we can only access it from one side so there is no way to vacuum in there. It was a horribly dusty dirty place. Bear stayed in there like that for over a week.
Every night before bed my husband and I would stop at this first stair, put our hand on it and say "Goodnight Bear I'm so glad you're here I hope you come out and live with us soon"
It just got sadder as the week went on.
I would go back there and talk to him and he would look back at me, but he stayed tucked into that bottom stair...
Until one night when he woke me up meowing loudly in the middle of the night. I went downstairs and he was standing right on the furnace, right at the edge of his little apartment behind the fridge.
It was like he wanted permission to come out.
So I encouraged him, and he came out and explored. This continued for many more nights as I started to worry that I would never sleep through the night again. And now?
He actually naps like that - on his back with his paws in the air.
He plays with everything - he loves to run round chasing cat toys or a ball of paper or whatever he can find to play with. He loves sitting in the huge windows and watching rabbits, squirrels and birds.
He sleeps with us in the bed every night. He wakes us up meowing for wet food every morning.
He even goes on top of the fridge and into the basket of cat stuff and gnawed through the thick plastic bag so he can help himself to cat treats when he wants them.
I'm writing this sitting on my couch with my legs stretched out. Bear is snuggled up with my feet and kind of petting my leg with his tail.
He learned how to live in a home and he's thriving.
He even looks different!
His fur was rough when we first got him and now it's silky soft. And it's easy to forget how there was a time when he didn't eat for 48 hours.
But when I saw him sitting on the stairs I took that photo because I was remembering how I would stop and put my hand on that stair every night to try to send him some love.
We adapt to the circumstances of our lives. Like Bear was used to living in a cage and so when he came here he found that smallest space - under that bottom stair - and made it his home. It took time before we was able to adapt to be able to spread out into the whole home.
But now, you can just see, he is being more who is really is. He's thriving.
We are the same. We can shrink into spaces that are too small for our actual potential and start to call that home.
And, when given the opportunity, we can expand.
And, this is how we're different from cats of course, we can create new circumstances for ourselves. In fact we do this all the time - we are continually growing into who we really are.
Because this process of growing and adapting can be so uncomfortable at times (I mean I'm pretty sure Bear would have run right back to his cage in the shelter if given a chance on those first few days here) it's so important to engage in a regular practice that helps us stay grounded in our true nature.
This is why I do Creative Dream Alchemy: using my dreams as a north star, or as a shortcut towards my true self, my purpose, my most meaningful and magical life, and engaging in the work of alchemy as a regular practice.
Transforming the places where I want to stay small.
Healing the places where I feel not good enough.
Releasing what is no longer needed.
Exploring what's going on inside me so I can know more fully where I'm being called to grow towards next.
This is ongoing work, so I need to be engaged in an ongoing practice with it. And this is where I'm going with my work with the Creative Dream Incubator.
New programs and tools to make it easier to do that ongoing transformative work - just one baby step at a time - to make it fit into your current life so you can grow your current life into your dream life. Because the delight and freedom that Bear has found here - I think we all deserve that.