I woke up this morning with a gift:
Yes There Is Still Time For All Of Your Dreams For 2022 To Come True. An Alchemy Circle, live on Zoom. Happening Oct 11 at 1pm, Central, North America.
(But yes it will be recorded and the replay will be available within hours of the live event)
I had one free reward drink and $1 left on my Starbucks card.
I got a free Pumpkin Spice Latte and bought a Beyond Meat breakfast sandwich, and I emptied my Starbucks card without refilling it for the first time since I got it, over 15 years ago.
Before the pandemic, I used to go to Starbucks all the time. Even though it wasn’t my values to support a multi-national corporation, I did have a reason why and it worked for me then.
And when I say all the time I mean all the time. Pretty much every day.
One of the things I found most disorienting in the pandemic was the loss of “working from a coffee shop”.
Maybe it’s that I am more productive working that way.
Mostly I think it’s just that I thrive on routines and I need exercise first thing in the morning so GETTING to a coffee shop mattered as much as being there.
Losing that routine was harder than I thought it would be.
So it’s really surprising to me that I no longer want to work out of coffee shops.
I mean - going for coffee + journaling is still a big YES. Occasionally, even a few times a week, but not as a daily routine.
And when I do that, I am going to the small local shops. Both the coffee and the food are so much better, usually for less money, and it supports the local economy.
But anyway. This was the day I closed out my Starbucks account.
The Starbucks was SO busy and SO loud and I waited SO long for my stuff.
It was obnoxious all around and I just felt really glad to let this all go.
Not that going to coffee shops every day wasn’t REALLY REALLY GOOD FOR ME for a long time for a lot of reasons.
AND
Not doing this is what is REALLY REALLY GOOD FOR ME RIGHT NOW.
I’ve set up my new creative studio and I want to start my days here, lighting candles, meditating, watching the sun rise, writing and making art.
It feels good to clarify these ways that my routines are changing in this “pretending to be post-pandemic while Covid hospitalizations and deaths haven’t dropped at all” phase of the pandemic.
I think the real, actual “post pandemic” phase is going to bring more changes still.
But, from where we are today, I know I’ve grieved A LOT OF THINGS these last few years as we all have.
And now I feel mostly out of that grieving phase, I am ready for “what’s next”.
I think we are all being called to be more true to ourselves in how we live our lives, and I am so ready to answer that call.
Photo: day 1 of my new expanded art + writing practice. I set up a space on the floor in front of the giant window (where I can watch the sunrise while I write, paint and draw every morning this winter). My feet standing on a rainbow rug, with a sketchbook and paint pens and pillows all around.
We had a Zoom call yesterday in Dream Book and one theme came up over and over: how fucking PAINFUL it is to be disconnected from your dream.
Whether it's your life interfering and not giving you the time/space you need to do what you want to do, or having a lot of self doubt or insecurity about being good enough, or not actually knowing what it is your dream is.
It all hurts. And it can be surprising, how much it hurts.
Your dreams are a part of you. You need to feel connected to them to feel whole.
This doesn't mean everyone needs to write a NYT bestselling book, for example. It means everyone should have the encouragement and space they need to write, or create whatever it is they are dreaming of.
It's not about the outcomes. The act of engaging with our dreams helps us feel more whole.
So, yeah. Any time that is blocked, whether by internal or external forces, this is going to be painful.
It's because our dreams are so vulnerable and so valuable that disconnection from them can feel so.... big.
And we live in a world that doesn't really have language for this which makes it feel more complicated.
So at the end of the call, I heard over and over about how this call was a healing. That having this pain be validated and hearing that others feel it too felt like a healing. Without trying to CHANGE the pain, simply by HONOURING it.
So I wanted to offer that to you too.
Your dreams matter. They deserve to take up space in your life.
Our next live call in Dream Book is happening on Oct 12. I hope to see YOU, and YOUR DREAMS there in the circle.
Photo of Bear laying on the bed with mounds of blankets behind him and the plant mural in process behind that. The light is not great as there are boxes and boxes piled up in front of the window.
Joseph moved in last weekend, 2 weeks earlier than we were planning for.
So we had not completely finished the renovations before his stuff was here and now it’s total chaos.
I remember sharing here when Joseph moved out, that even though I still loved him and wanted to be married to him, I felt so much joy about having my own space. And now I feel so much joy about having my best friend back here. Living with Joseph is so FUN, he is always making me laugh.
Sometimes we want things that conflict with each other. I love living alone and I love living with my husband and there are pros and cons to each.
It’s human nature to have dreams that conflict with other dreams.
They don’t cancel each other out. We can get creative about finding ways to make space for all of the things we want.
The Dream Loft renovations were all about that. Changing how we use the space, to give each of us more of the things we had when we were living alone.
Today I’m putting things away, thinking more about how we want to use the space, and dreaming of a cozy winter here.
But I know everyone wants to know how Bear is doing with all of this.
When we started bringing all of the boxes in, Bear went upstairs and hid in his cat house. That first night, he slept up there (which is rare, he usually sleeps with me).
He stayed in his house that whole next day until I opened the container of cat treats, then I heard his little feet racing down the stairs 
and he’s stayed out here since then.
The second morning, I woke up pressed against the plant mural wall. Joseph was in the middle of the bed. Bear was stretched out on Joseph’s side. The new bedroom is really more Bear’s than anyone’s.
Psssttt... today is the LAST DAY for the early bird discount on the Year of Dreams 2023 planner + planning kits.
Use the discount code EARLYBIRD to get 15% off. Ends at midnight tonight.
Yesterday I started a brand new Dream Book.
Since I am starting a whole new season in so many different parts of my life, it felt right.
One of the first exercises in Dream Book is to create a page in your journal that defines your dream on multiple levels. This helps to hold the intention for all of the work to come in your Dream Book.
I was so excited to define my new dreams, but...
... nothing came to me.
I don't know what my dream is.
I felt lost. Sad. Anxious. Embarrassed. But mostly lost.
The dream is the guiding light, where did mine go?
I was feeling so distraught about this, I used one of the tools from Dream Book - The Un-Sticking Station.
Inside the Un-Sticking Station, I realised:
Oh! Of course I feel lost right now. I am on the cusp of receiving a dream I've been working on for a while - my new life with my husband and a new creative space for new creative projects. We're been renovating + redecorating + re-organizing + planning and we're in the final stages of all of it right now.
Oh! OH! OF COURSE I started a brand new Dream Book, I want to leap ahead and dream up the next thing, instead of doing the thing that's in front of me to do.
(This is one of the best recipes for consistent miracles: do the thing that's in front of you to do. It's also really hard to do consistently)
The thing that's in front of me to do is finish up all the details of this dream. Make space for it to fall into place. Which means: all of the annoying tasks that I've been putting off.
I have SO MUCH putting away and giving away and finishing painting to do.
But here's the other thing. It's not just that these are boring and tiresome tasks and I don't really want to do them.
It's that I am quickly moving from "dreaming/planning" to "OMG THIS IS HAPPENING".
The completion stage of a dream usually comes with a lot of feelings AND a lot of to-dos.
And I was trying to avoid all of the uncomfortable parts of that by skipping ahead to my next dream.
Instead of staying present where I am, and doing the things that are in front of me to do.
And that's why I couldn't articulate my next dream.
It's not time for that yet.
And then I didn't feel lost or anxious or sad anymore. I felt kind of annoyed that I'm out of excuses about doing these tasks I've been trying to avoid. But I am going to go do them now.
Sometimes our dreams need us to do the boring/annoying thing.
I’m calling today The Last Day Of Summer.
It’s the last day of summer weather on the forecast.
And I know we’re likely it have more hot days this month, but with the overnight lows getting lower, it’s not going to FEEL like summer again.
So.
The Last Day Of Summer.
It really feels like I am standing on a precipice.
The last week and a half Joseph and I (mostly him) have been working on tearing down my old workspace and building a new bedroom pergola, a wall, kitchen cabinets/shelves, a closet and a new TV stand (there was a LOT of wood in that old workspace).
Joseph is almost finished the building and I am starting the painting now.
We are transforming the Dream Loft into OUR home.
I should back up a bit, I guess.
A year and a half ago, Joseph moved out of the Dream Loft. We didn’t “separate” and we didn’t want to, but we also couldn’t keep going as things were at that time. During the pandemic, so many different things intersected… but that’s actually not a story I want to share.
The story I want to share is that he moved out, and with the magic of space (and gifted therapists) we created a much closer and more nourishing relationship.
But over the last 6 months we’ve both been feeling like we have too much space. Like we want to live together again.
Not that living together is better! I stand by everything I have written about how we have to do relationships in the ways that feel true for us, and not just do what “everyone does”.
So - I was actually really shocked when I started to feel like I wanted him to move back in, because when I thought about our future this was the one scenario that I was sure would NEVER happen. I mostly saw us living together someone else, further in the future.
And here we are. The Last Place I Though I Would Ever Be.
BUT
We thought of a way to re-arrange the entire space. Which is the magic of open loft living!
SO
Joseph took two weeks off work for the construction part. Then I’ll paint (like - murals and fun stuff). We’re both purging and organizing and we’ll put more work in to creating a more functional space.
I still love the spaciousness of loft living, but it does mean you need to put more thought and effort into being organized, or just not have any stuff.
And here we are. I am ready to start painting.
But first. The Last Day Of Summer.
It’s like - one last day for my favourite summer things. Like meeting a friend for a picnic lunch in the park. Last year on this day I went to the beach later in the day for one last swim.
This year? I don’t even know what I want to do.
It just feels SO MUCH like a precipice day.
The last year and a half, living apart, my husband and I grew so much. You know how therapists like you to name the ways you are changing - we can name hundreds of things that have changed in how we are in this relationship.
Like when we met, we knew what we wanted, but didn’t have the skills to create that relationship. And, together, we have learned those skills. And now we’re ready to move into the next phase of our relationship.
And the kids! Well they’re not kids anymore. And I don’t share their stories, but they are also moving on to new and exciting things.
And my work! I’ll share more about this later, but the Dream Loft re-arrangement includes me having a new creative studio. I feel like I am creating the space for my next level of art and writing and creating. There is SO MUCH I want to do and this new space feels like the perfect place to do it.
And my health! I’ve found the right supplements to manage my pedi-menopause symptoms and I FEEL LIKE MYSELF AGAIN after a very long few years.
It feels like it’s all falling into place, but also - I’ve worked at this for the last few years, by showing up consistently for my dreams.
And by “dreams” I mean - taking my own needs seriously. By showing up for my Dream Work practice even when dreams felt far away I figured out how to navigate this weird time, and create a space for my future dreams to take root.
So. Yeah.
I created this.
I brought myself to this place.
And today I’m just going to enjoy one last day of summer, and appreciate where I am, before taking the next steps.
How To Use A Planner (even if you're highly creative, super disorganized and "can't plan")
The artwork above is from a page from the Year of Dreams 2023 planner, with ideas for how to use any planner and inspiration for coming up with your own way.
Everyone can plan.
There is no one particular way that you’re supposed to plan.
Some people who think they can’t plan actually just can’t follow other people’s rigid ideas about what planning is supposed to be. And that’s good!
Here's how I think about planning, as a creative person:
Planning is a way of bringing my creative dreams into linear time. Instead of "someday" it's "what teeny tiny step can I can with this dream THIS WEEK?"
Planning is a place merging my dreams and my current reality. Doctor's appointment Tuesday. Dream Project Wednesday.
Mostly, planning is a way of being more intentional about how I'm showing up in my life. How do I want to feel? Sure, I have things I NEED to do, but what do I WANT to do?
It's about making space for these questions, every week, about how I want to be living my life. I do a LOT of journaling in my planner.
Planning is NOT about finding the perfect system, and then using it perfectly, getting your shit together and keeping it together forevermore.
I think a lot of the time when people think they "can't plan" it means they can't do that. And that's fine. We're on a rock spinning in space. The economy is collapsing. The climate is collapsing. Most of us do NOT have our shit together right now.
Planning is a way of engaging creatively and mindfully with your life.
PLAYING with your life, even.
Some ways to use a planner, besides to-do lists and task planning:
- Fill in how you want to feel each day
- Fill in how you did feel each day
- Track progress on your projects
- Make a wish every day
- Record your favourite thing each day
- Keep a daily gratitude list
- Write an affirmation for the day
- Document your life
- Do a daily collage, drawing or poem
- Journal Hello Day! I hope you will bring me:
(start to play with these and you'll be coming up with your own ideas in no time)
I was asked such a great question this morning, about how to combine weekly planning with monthly planning.
Since the Year of Dreams 2023 has both - here are some ways to use both together:
Spend some time with the monthly planning kit each month to work out goals. Then each week draw on that to decide what to focus on.
Use the monthly planner as a habit tracker.
Some months you may not need a monthly plan. And some months you may not need weekly plans - like if you’re taking time off, just switching to a monthly calendar in your planner if you have less things to keep track of, instead of a page each week that will mostly be blank.
If I am planning something with a lot of moving parts, I like to print out a monthly calendar just to put that one project in it. Like daily blog posts or a promotion or something. I like to see it in writing like that, not on a digital planner, and the act of writing it all out helps me feel more grounded about whatever I am doing.
So some months I use multiple monthly planners, and some months I use none.
So I wanted to give both options for the Year of Dreams 2023.
Your way of planning should be as unique, creative and wild as you are.
It can be orderly or sporadic and spontaneous. You can be consistent or inconsistent. Messy or neat.
This is why the Year of Dreams 2023 is so plain and flexible. To make lots of space for YOU and your process of bringing more of your DREAMS into your LIFE, your way.
Get 15% off the Year of Dreams until Sept 14 with the coupon code: EARLYBIRD
We are doing the 30 day journaling + meditation invitation for the month of August. An explanation of this project is here. I'll be posting an update here every day (M-F) for the month of August and I'm also doing short videos on Instagram to share things I am learning along the way.\
Bear the Life Coach has the right idea - he's not even reading the book "How To Do Nothing" (which is amazing!) he's just leaning on it.
Today is the final day of 30 days of meditation + journaling on the theme: Slow the fuck down! BE as creative, powerful and magnetic as you ARE.
How do we end this?
On the one hand, we don't. I know I am definitely NOT speeding the fuck back up!
And on the other hand, I definitely want to stop using "Slow the fuck down! BE as creative, powerful and magnetic as you ARE" as the theme of my daily practice. My usual theme is just... working with my dream, meeting myself where I am and navigating my next steps. And I really do want to get back to that.
The most important thing I know about this:
I want "the version of me who IS as creative, powerful, and magnetic as I AM" (not pushing myself to be more and not pretending I am less) as an ally as I continue my work.
I want this part of me to have voting rights on my decisions.
This version of me is not ALL of who I am. But it is a part of me who can help guide me with the next part of my path.
This is ending at the PERFECT time. I am starting a new transition.
My husband moved out of the Dream Loft 1.5 years ago, for many reasons. At that time, I didn't see him ever moving back in here, though I saw us living together somewhere else at some point in the future.
Our first year living apart we definitely needed that space. We were in couples therapy and we created a much more emotionally close relationship - like we both just needed room to breath in order to create the relationship we wanted.
And then - and this is still a surprise to me - we both started wanting for him to move back to the loft.
BUT with some big changes made to the loft itself.
Which is what we are starting to work on now: adding a new wall to create a new bedroom downstairs, which means the upstairs former-bedroom loft is now my creative studio. With a twin bed in it, for napping and any time either of us wants a bit more space I can sleep up here.
The new downstairs bedroom is in the part of the loft that has 2 storey tall walls, and we're hanging beams over the bed to hang plants from. It's going to be small, but SO dreamy.
We're also arranging everything else, adding more kitchen storage + built-ins in the living room area, getting rid of "stuff" and getting everything more organized.
AND painting murals.
It started with an idea for a mural on the new wall we are adding to make the bedroom - a simple 2 colour super-calm kind of mural.
And now I have ideas for multiple murals upstairs in my studio, and on those 2 storey walls.
But first - de-constructing my former office space, lots of shopping, building the new spaces, purging, and organizing.
My husband has 2 weeks off work, so we are working on the bulk of all of this right now. Which is what I mean by "perfect timing"
After this month of exploring slowing down and connecting with this part of me - now I dive into the work of creating the space for my next level, in both my personal and creative lives.
Of course I'll keep blogging out here - just not every day. And I'll keep sharing the behind-the-scenes of my daily practice - inside Dream Book.
We are doing the 30 day journaling + meditation invitation for the month of August. An explanation of this project is here. I'll be posting an update here every day (M-F) for the month of August and I'm also doing short videos on Instagram to share things I am learning along the way.\
One of the big questions I’ve had this month is:
How do I stay slowed down AND get projects done?
I was thinking specifically about my current project: the Year of Dreams 2023 planner.
Really it’s also about all of my future projects.
But of course the Year of Dreams is what I am working on now.
And here’s the answer: tiny steps.
Which seems so obvious it’s almost insulting.
And yet? It’s also genius.
Small steps is the way that I’ve gotten everything done anyway. But there’s something different coming up in these explorations over this last month. It’s not all about how fast I move on the surface. There are ideas around slowing down my expectations of myself, slowing down emotional reactivity, etc.
Slowing down in more dimensions, in more ways.
One of our Dream Book members did the "slow the fuck down" meditation every day, and actually SPEEDED UP PROGRESS on her creative dream in the outer work, while FEELING slowed down inside.
In terms of my work with the Year of Dreams, this also shows up as SIMPLIFY.
I had shared earlier that I was also working on a new year journalling kit. I wanted to put them out at the same time for people who want them together.
But the new your journalling kit is a completely different project. Completely different energy. Completely different creative process.
Trying to put that together with the Year of Dreams is STRESSFUL.
Giving them each space to be their own thing is EXPANSIVE.
And the thing is, the new year journaling kit is not even delayed right now because I’m working slowly. Progress is delayed right now because I’m not sure what else it needs. It doesn’t feel complete.
When I sit with that, the answer feels obvious. Finish one thing. Then do the next.
The new your journalling kit has lots in it already. Who knows? Maybe I can finish it in a day. Or maybe it will take a month. I’m at the part where I’m not really in charge of that because it still needs to show me what it needs.
And letting the pressure of that go, and slowing down my own expectations around what I’m doing, and just taking little tiny steps here and there with the Year of Dreams, I’ve actually finished the whole thing.
And I feel like that question I was asking: how do I stay slow down and also get this project done? the answer is coming to me less in some kind of clear written answer and more in a new feeling, a new relationship with productivity and my creative projects.
This still feels very much in process.
I’m loving it.
And the Year of Dreams 2023 planner is right here. Get 15% off until Sept 14 with the coupon code: EARLYBIRD
We are doing the 30 day journaling + meditation invitation for the month of August. An explanation of this project is here. I'll be posting an update here every day (M-F) for the month of August and I'm also doing short videos on Instagram to share things I am learning along the way.\
And check out the new Creative Dream Incubator RedBubble shop! THE MOST encouraging notebooks, zipper pouches, mugs, magnets, stickers + art prints.
I have a new awareness of my needs.
BEFORE: I'm sleepy/distracted/unfocused today! Here are the things I need to do to get myself moving: bike ride, coffee, meditation, nutrition, etc.
NOW: I'm sleepy/distracted/unfocused today! This makes sense. How can I give myself the space I need right now?
I'm going into a new season in my life, we start the Dream Loft Re-Construction next week. I am working on my new creative studio for my next-level dreams and creative projects.
And I know it's time for new approaches.
A whole new definition of trusting my creativity.
I know I am just seeing the tip of it, there is lots more to explore. Still, today, I feel so delighted by this one shift in approach. And I AM tired and distracted and feel like I NEED down-time even though I don't understand WHY, so I am going to go read a book.
Oh, wait, before I go...
Another new realization: putting creative heart-work out into the world has a bigger emotional component to it than I had realized.
Which is connected to the things I was exploring around "giving more time/energy to putting projects out into the world, instead of rushing into starting the next project, actually fuels ALL projects".
I did finish the Year of Dreams 2023. I even made a video about it and have a sales page.
AND I'm not ready to share it.
AND I think that's part of why I feel the way I feel today. I need downtime-as-a-way-of-supporting-congruence-between-all-parts-of-me-and-the-work-of-putting-this-project-out-there.