Your vision for what you want your life to look like is sacred

How do we end this?

By Andrea Schroeder | August 30, 2022

We are doing the 30 day journaling + meditation invitation for the month of August. An explanation of this project is here. I'll be posting an update here every day (M-F) for the month of August and I'm also doing short videos on Instagram to share things I am learning along the way.\

Bear the Life Coach has the right idea - he's not even reading the book "How To Do Nothing" (which is amazing!) he's just leaning on it.

Today is the final day of 30 days of meditation + journaling on the theme: Slow the fuck down! BE as creative, powerful and magnetic as you ARE.

How do we end this?

On the one hand, we don't. I know I am definitely NOT speeding the fuck back up!

And on the other hand, I definitely want to stop using "Slow the fuck down! BE as creative, powerful and magnetic as you ARE" as the theme of my daily practice. My usual theme is just... working with my dream, meeting myself where I am and navigating my next steps. And I really do want to get back to that.

The most important thing I know about this:

I want "the version of me who IS as creative, powerful, and magnetic as I AM" (not pushing myself to be more and not pretending I am less) as an ally as I continue my work.

I want this part of me to have voting rights on my decisions.

This version of me is not ALL of who I am. But it is a part of me who can help guide me with the next part of my path.

This is ending at the PERFECT time. I am starting a new transition.

My husband moved out of the Dream Loft 1.5 years ago, for many reasons. At that time, I didn't see him ever moving back in here, though I saw us living together somewhere else at some point in the future.

Our first year living apart we definitely needed that space. We were in couples therapy and we created a much more emotionally close relationship - like we both just needed room to breath in order to create the relationship we wanted.

And then - and this is still a surprise to me - we both started wanting for him to move back to the loft.

BUT with some big changes made to the loft itself.

Which is what we are starting to work on now: adding a new wall to create a new bedroom downstairs, which means the upstairs former-bedroom loft is now my creative studio. With a twin bed in it, for napping and any time either of us wants a bit more space I can sleep up here.

The new downstairs bedroom is in the part of the loft that has 2 storey tall walls, and we're hanging beams over the bed to hang plants from. It's going to be small, but SO dreamy.

We're also arranging everything else, adding more kitchen storage + built-ins in the living room area, getting rid of "stuff" and getting everything more organized.

AND painting murals.

It started with an idea for a mural on the new wall we are adding to make the bedroom - a simple 2 colour super-calm kind of mural.

And now I have ideas for multiple murals upstairs in my studio, and on those 2 storey walls.

But first - de-constructing my former office space, lots of shopping, building the new spaces, purging, and organizing.

My husband has 2 weeks off work, so we are working on the bulk of all of this right now. Which is what I mean by "perfect timing"

After this month of exploring slowing down and connecting with this part of me - now I dive into the work of creating the space for my next level, in both my personal and creative lives.

Of course I'll keep blogging out here - just not every day. And I'll keep sharing the behind-the-scenes of my daily practice - inside Dream Book.

How do I stay slowed down AND get projects done?

By Andrea Schroeder | August 29, 2022

One of the big questions I’ve had this month is:

How do I stay slowed down AND get projects done?

I was thinking specifically about my current project: the Year of Dreams 2023 planner.

Really it’s also about all of my future projects.

But of course the Year of Dreams is what I am working on now.

And here’s the answer: tiny steps.

Which seems so obvious it’s almost insulting.

And yet? It’s also genius.

Small steps is the way that I’ve gotten everything done anyway. But there’s something different coming up in these explorations over this last month. It’s not all about how fast I move on the surface. There are ideas around slowing down my expectations of myself, slowing down emotional reactivity, etc.

Slowing down in more dimensions, in more ways.

One of our Dream Book members did the "slow the fuck down" meditation every day, and actually SPEEDED UP PROGRESS on her creative dream in the outer work, while FEELING slowed down inside.

In terms of my work with the Year of Dreams, this also shows up as SIMPLIFY.

I had shared earlier that I was also working on a new year journalling kit. I wanted to put them out at the same time for people who want them together.

But the new your journalling kit is a completely different project. Completely different energy. Completely different creative process.

Trying to put that together with the Year of Dreams is STRESSFUL.

Giving them each space to be their own thing is EXPANSIVE.

And the thing is, the new year journaling kit is not even delayed right now because I’m working slowly. Progress is delayed right now because I’m not sure what else it needs. It doesn’t feel complete.

When I sit with that, the answer feels obvious. Finish one thing. Then do the next.

The new your journalling kit has lots in it already. Who knows? Maybe I can finish it in a day. Or maybe it will take a month. I’m at the part where I’m not really in charge of that because it still needs to show me what it needs.

And letting the pressure of that go, and slowing down my own expectations around what I’m doing, and just taking little tiny steps here and there with the Year of Dreams, I’ve actually finished the whole thing.

And I feel like that question I was asking: how do I stay slow down and also get this project done? the answer is coming to me less in some kind of clear written answer and more in a new feeling, a new relationship with productivity and my creative projects.

This still feels very much in process.

I’m loving it.

And the Year of Dreams 2023 planner is right here. Get 15% off until Sept 14 with the coupon code: EARLYBIRD

The next level in my always-growing awareness of my own needs

By Andrea Schroeder | August 26, 2022

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I have a new awareness of my needs.

BEFORE: I'm sleepy/distracted/unfocused today! Here are the things I need to do to get myself moving: bike ride, coffee, meditation, nutrition, etc.

NOW: I'm sleepy/distracted/unfocused today! This makes sense. How can I give myself the space I need right now?

I'm going into a new season in my life, we start the Dream Loft Re-Construction next week. I am working on my new creative studio for my next-level dreams and creative projects.

And I know it's time for new approaches.

A whole new definition of trusting my creativity.

I know I am just seeing the tip of it, there is lots more to explore. Still, today, I feel so delighted by this one shift in approach. And I AM tired and distracted and feel like I NEED down-time even though I don't understand WHY, so I am going to go read a book.

Oh, wait, before I go...

Another new realization: putting creative heart-work out into the world has a bigger emotional component to it than I had realized.

Which is connected to the things I was exploring around "giving more time/energy to putting projects out into the world, instead of rushing into starting the next project, actually fuels ALL projects".

I did finish the Year of Dreams 2023. I even made a video about it and have a sales page.

AND I'm not ready to share it.

AND I think that's part of why I feel the way I feel today. I need downtime-as-a-way-of-supporting-congruence-between-all-parts-of-me-and-the-work-of-putting-this-project-out-there.

My creativity heals me

By Andrea Schroeder | August 25, 2022

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OMG! I woke up feeling SO inspired and excited.

Giving myself a few days to really feel sorry for myself for not feeling as enthusiastic and motivated about my creative dreams as I want to be really helped!

Also, I think the new supplements (herbal support for menopause) are kicking in. I just feel better all around.

ALSO also, I just laid in bed and read books for a few days. I really was worn out and now I feel replenished.

Slow the fuck down can be so magical and healing, even when we resist every second of it and are crabby all the way through.

And now that I am feeling better I am NOT going to jump up and do ALL the things. The world depletes me right now, and I want to stay mindful of that. I want to stay in my own bubble as much as possible.

I just spent some time pinning new ideas to my murals Pinterest board.

Next week we start the deconstruction/reconstruction/re-arranging of the Dream Loft which includes... painting.

Though we had NO idea what colours we were painting, which is REALLY weird for me. I am all about colour and you'd think I would already have a million paint samples in here and I have exactly none.

I know I want to do murals but NO idea what kinds of murals.

It felt exhausting to think about it. SO I didn't.

And then when it didn't feel exhausting to think about anymore, the project CAME TO LIFE but it also brought ME to life with it.

I have so many ideas now.

It's this really intense experience of my creativity healing me. I feel so grateful for it.

AND my creative ideas are expanding.

The plan was to do a mural in my new studio and in the new bedroom. But now I think - why stop there? What about the 20' tall walls? How wicked would that be?

Before I was NOT interested in climbing a ladder that much but now it feels exciting and fun to climb a ladder that much and make this happen.

I am so grateful for this shift. I love it when I feel excited about new creative projects.

AND this has spilled out everywhere. I have more energy and it's like my brain is working better. I am starting to catch up on admin-type things that had fallen behind.

Creativity is SO healing. I am SO grateful.

The brain-breaking breakthrough

By Andrea Schroeder | August 24, 2022

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I did a long meditation on the theme.

It felt amazing.

And, this time it really felt, specifically, like business advice.

I thought about how much I learned about business when I was turning this work into my business. I thought about how exciting it was to go from "I love this but there's no way to make a living at it" to "Oh wow I can make a living at this" and how I was willing to work hard and learn lots to make that happen.

I thought about how I was in my 30s and how everything feels different now. AND ALSO I have had the gifts of having my own business for over a decade, thanks to that work I did then.

And it just felt SO true. THIS is the business advice I need now:

Slow the fuck down(!)
BE as creative, powerful and magnetic as you ARE

What happens when I run business decisions through this lens?

I see new possibilities here.

Because I have so many ideas, it's like I want to finish one thing and move on to the next as fast as possible. What gets lost in that - is the marketing.

Last year I made a series of guided journals that will literally help you make your "impossible project" happen. That thing you want to do that feels impossible. These will guide you through it, using your own ideas.

They are GENIUS and helpful.

And I hardly promoted them because I had other projects I was shifting my attention to. It took so long to CREATE the workbooks I just had "no time left".

But I am going to promote them this fall, in a way that feels really fun and creative to me. Because the people who are using it keep emailing me to say how amazed they are by what they are doing with it, and I'd like to see more of that out in the world.

Anyway, by the time I am done creating... ANYTHING... the thought of creating the marketing for it feels exhausting and boring and so I tend to so as little as possible for that, always.

What if I think about this through the lens of:

Slow the fuck down(!)
BE as creative, powerful and magnetic as you ARE

Then it feels totally different. Then it feels like "I am so proud of what I have made. I feel so happy to share it!"

It feels honouring of my work to highlight it on my social media streams, blog + email.

And it feels honouring of the soul of the thing I created to have it have a chance to be found by the people that it's for.

And it feels honouring of the soul of the Creative Dream Incubator whose SOLE purpose is to help more creative dreams HAPPEN.

(I forget that often. What I want is to create all the things I feel inspired to create. What the Creative Dream Incubator wants is for all of those things to get out to all of the people that they are for, to make ALL of the dreams happen.)

And it feels like TRUSTING THE PROCESS.

IT feels like trusting my dreams and ideas! By knowing I have enough time for everything.

And then I think - OK but this means I can't just leap into the next project right away.

And that feels 100% ok.

Which is so funny because that NEVER feels ok to me. I ALWAYS want to start the next thing. RIGHT AWAY!

But suddenly it feels like - I can be brainstorming and planning for the next thing, here and there, even while giving the bulk of my energy/attention/time to the promotion of the last thing.

Who knows. Maybe this will even create a smoother creative flow for me?

Because if I am being honest with myself, and this is my journaling so I really should be, there is that time at the start of ANY new project where I feel so much self doubt and uncertainty. It's not like I dive into the next thing ready to go. There's that weird "on ramp" time....

What if this helps with that?

What if (OMG!!!!) What if I struggle at the start of new projects BECAUSE I didn't give the last project everything it needed to be out in the world?

WHOA THAT BROKE MY BRAIN.

Today is not a great day

By Andrea Schroeder | August 23, 2022

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So this is not a great day.

But also, I just I DO NOT LIKE where I'm at in this 30 days of meditation and journaling.

I know I teach that:

1. the path won't look like you think it should
2. ALL of the feelings that come up in the process are a part of the process
3. it takes the time it takes

I really really strongly feel that I should be in a different place with this at this point.

All of these opposing things are true.

So, where do I want to start today?

I want to run away. Like literally.

BUT I just took a very calming hot bath and then doused myself with enough lavender to CALM THE FUCK DOWN for quite a while.

So I will sit here. With my thoughts and feelings. I will write it out.

At this point in this process, I thought I would have more energy, enthusiasm and love for my creative projects/dreams. I thought I'd be speeding up again, I guess?

But I actually feel like I want to stay slow. Actually I NEED to stay slow. I feel overwhelmed and a little panicky out in the world right now, which is a sign that I just need more quiet alone time.

So, I am dreaming of dreaming of my creative dreams.

This SUCKS.

I want to be actively dreaming the dreams and doing the things.

Writing THIS SUCKS in all caps feels satisfying. Actually I feel a bit of the tightness in my chest loosen as I do that.

THIS SUCKS!!!!!!!

Nice.

Yes, this does suck. So what do I want to do?

Really be in the suckiness of it? Eat ice cream and watch a terrible movie?

Or do I want to DREAM of dreaming of my creative dreams. Like make "feeling enthusiastic and excited to work with my dreams" the dream and do the work with that dream.

That's intriguing. That heavy depressing feeling in my head lightened a little at that idea.

The idea of really being in the suckiness of it just feels heavy. I have been doing that. I want something else now.

So. What do I want to do?

I could start a new Dream Book for this new dream - probably not a whole new journal but create a few key pages to give myself some space to explore what I can do with this.

I absolutely do not want to FORCE myself to do stuff I am not feeling. I am REALLY adamant about that.

I am in a weird place in my life. This pandemic overwhelm has shifted into something completely different this summer. Ditto for my peri-menopause. (Though I am taking care of it all -I started new herbs and am seeing my doctor and therapist this week)

So of course I am in a weird place creatively. And emotionally.

Oh! And I am 1 week away from starting the little renovations and big re-arrangements we are doing in the Dream Loft. At the start of summer I started this project and then gave myself space to get used to "stage one" of the changes. The plan was to also go through my things, purging, moving - but I haven't really done much of that. So I have a lot of stuff to do there.

So much is about to change.

So now I think - maybe feeling tired and overwhelmed is exactly right?

I mean, another one of the Principles of Creative Dream Alchemy that I teach is to honour ALL of the feelings that come up on the path.

But really, who wants to do that? lol

And really, the feelings we judge and resist the most and INSIST are NOT a part of the path to this dream - are always a part of the path to this dream.

I didn't make this up, I just noticed what was true from working with so many people.

So, can I work on accepting that I am where I am with this? Trust the process?

I don’t want to share this part

By Andrea Schroeder | August 22, 2022

And check out the new Creative Dream Incubator RedBubble shop! THE MOST encouraging notebooks, zipper pouches, mugs, magnets, stickers + art prints.

All month I have been meditating + journaling on the theme:

Slow the fuck down! BE as creative, powerful and magnetic as you ARE.

These two messages came to me from meetings with my dream (a practice I teach in Dream Book and use almost every day) and I wanted to explore them more deeply.

I don't want to share this, but my whole thing is about sharing my actual process so...

Right now I feel SO DONE with this.

I don't care about BEING as creative, powerful and magnetic as I AM.

I mean, yes I still do care. I still do want that. I just don't want to do anything about it today.

Yes - there are tools in Dream Book I could use for working with this "I don't want to do this" feeling: Un-Sticking Station or The Video For When You're Avoiding The Un-Sticking Station or the Resistance process.

And I did do a bit of un-sticking in my journal but:

EVERYTHING FEELS LIKE A MESS.

I laid on the floor for 20 minutes just giving myself some space to think and feel.

And reminded myself: of course uncomfortable and unexpected thoughts, feelings and ideas are coming up. That's what happens in a transformational process! This is how it works.

But still, it all feels like a mess.

And that's enough for today.

BEING this new version of me

By Andrea Schroeder | August 19, 2022

And check out the new Creative Dream Incubator RedBubble shop! THE MOST encouraging notebooks, zipper pouches, mugs, magnets, stickers + art prints.

This week my goal was to get to know this version of me who is BEING as creative, powerful and magnetic as I AM.

Here is the big thing that stands out in all I learned: she takes better care of herself. She doesn't judge her sensitivities, or try to wish them away, she just takes care of them.

Which of course helps her BE more creative, powerful and magnetic.

Last fall I had a lot of anxiety. Like I tipped the scale and it was really hard to bring it back, so all the things I would usually do that would help didn't help as well. I need a lot of time and space for my nervous system to recover.

Looking back, I can see that all of the activities I was doing in the summer - ALL OF WHICH I ENJOYED - contributed to this. It's just too much "being out in the world" for my nervous system.

I was even trying to "cram in as much good as I could" knowing I'd be staying home a lot more over the winter because of the pandemic.

This week I started to feel the same thing happening.

I noticed - the world is starting to feel louder, more annoying. The heat is really getting to me.

At first I was seeing that it's THE WORLD that is too loud and hot but then I realised- no it's me. It's my sensitivities. It's me coming up against my edges.

Noticing this is a choice: to honour my actual needs and pull back, or do what I think I "should" be able to and keep doing all the things.

When I am BEING as creative, powerful and magnetic as I AM - this isn't even a question. I take care of me.

So - I've got a stack of library books, a few sewing projects, and a weekend of NOT leaving the house.

Following ALL rabbit holes

By Andrea Schroeder | August 18, 2022

And check out the new Creative Dream Incubator RedBubble shop! THE MOST encouraging notebooks, zipper pouches, mugs, magnets, stickers + art prints.

On Day One I talked about making space to follow ALL of the rabbit holes.

By showing up every day, contemplating the theme, following the rabbit holes that pop up for you and taking notes, you will find the things you need to see.

Because what comes to mind for you the first time you sit and think about this theme is very different from what comes to mind for you after you’ve been sitting with it for three weeks.

At some point you will narrow in on THE THING that you really need to look at right now. That doesn’t mean I’ll definitely get there within 30 days, but if you keep this up it will happen. This is how daily practice works.

I am narrowing in on THE THING for me to look at: the way I work.

I’m noticing HOW I am working.

Slow or fast.

Pressured or playful.

Meeting deadlines or following my own flow.

And the big one:

Creating to prove my worth or creating to express my creativity.

Am I trying to create a thing that makes people think I’m great? Am I trying to delight myself?

Am I really into how it feels to express myself and make this idea into a real thing? Or am I really into how it feels to be proud of my work, to feel accomplished and talented?

And where do I want these boundaries to be?

The work is for someone else, after all. This isn’t my personal sketchbook or into a of our practice I’m talking about here. This is how approach my creative work projects..

Which are a big part of how I make my living...

Which makes very easy for people pleasing, fear, and self doubt to infect my creative flow.

I have gotten very good is staying curious about these things when they show up, and offering love and safety to the parts of me who need it while taking creative risks of not letting this all of us get in my way like it used to.

And...

What if there are lighter and more playful and more delightful ways to approach the work that leave less space for people-pleasing, self doubt and fear to even enter the room?

What if "slowing down" means slowing down the way my fears and self doubt try to slow down my projects?

BEING my most creative, powerful + magnetic self

By Andrea Schroeder | August 17, 2022

And check out the new Creative Dream Incubator RedBubble shop! THE MOST encouraging notebooks, zipper pouches, mugs, magnets, stickers + art prints.

Again today I started with the Dream Self meditation, to meet with the version of me who IS as creative, powerful and magnetic as I AM.

Her clothes are swishier than mine and brighter. She kind of floats, like she’s uplifted by joy.

And, rather ungraciously, I think “‘yeah I bet she doesn’t have (situation) to contend with”

Hmmm. That’s an interesting thought. Why wouldn’t this version of me have this situation to contend with?

It feels like a touch of “‘once I have healed or grow in this way, my life will be perfect and nothing will bother me, ever again”

But I think there’s also something else there, so I’m going down rabbit hole.

OK let’s place this version of me into this situation and see how she reacts - in my imagination.

I see two possibilities for how it plays out:

1. She actually doesn’t have to contend with it, because she did this other thing that stopped this thing from even happening. Interesting, this shows me a new option for how I could handle the situation.

2. She does contend with it, only she doesn’t feel like she’s “‘contending”. She giggles and offers empathy the person as they do the behaviour but it doesn’t impact her like it impacts me. Which shows me ANOTHER option for how I could handle the situation.

And it presents a question: what if I let this version of me make ALL of my decisions?

Which is a Dream Book process actually, where you do alchemy meditation to connect with the version of you who has your dream, and then let that part of you make the decisions about how you’re moving forward for 1 week to see how that brings different insights, ideas and results.

I could do that.

Because I do have a situation, a question I wanted to bring into this practice:

How do I finish the Year of Dreams 2023 project while staying slowed down?

What comes to me is to substitute deep work for hard work, or fast work. (I’ve noticed that working hard and working fast feel same to me)

Deep work has it’s own logistical issues. And a lot of things feel challenging to me this week, and so getting to that place where deep work is possible feels extra challenging.

Or is that just my self doubt talking?

Yeah, probably.

The thing is, I DID finish the Year of Dreams planners and planning kits but then I was inspired to add another kit - the goodbye old year hello new year journaling kit.

I always knew I’d do that kit later on, but now I want to put them all out together. So I am holding back on the Year of Dreams in order to finish the new year kit, which changes every time I work on it.

I am having so much fun with it.

So why pressure myself into finishing it this month?

This feels like “work hard” vibes which is NOT “slow the fuck down” vibes.

Oh! It’s that little “because I live in capitalism” thing. I think they’ll sell better together.

But writing this all out it’s like - wow Andrea this is not a thing to worry about.

The magic of journaling is saying: just keep working on it.

Keep ENJOYING the creative process with it. You have 2 weeks still, to hit your “by the end of August” deadline and actually - who cares if this happens in early September instead? Especially if you are making it BETTER by re-imagining the new year journaling kit?

All good points.

This is the kind of journaling that is SO BORING but also so helpful.

Just space to work through it and get all parts of my brain on board and ready to get to work.

This is the kind of stuff that I get resistance from with people. They want to keep doing something NEW and for it to always feel creative and interesting. But that’s not how it works.

A resistance to showing up for the boring parts of sustaining a practice is a resistance to depth. And the depth is where the magic is.

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