In August I did the Slow The Fuck Down! BE As Creative, Powerful and Magnetic as you ARE meditation and journaling invitation.
And it sparked A LOT of things.
One of the big things that happened for me is that I got in touch with this.... feeling in my DNA is the only way I have to describe it. Generations and generations and generations of people who worked as hard as they could because that was their only way to live.
It didn't feel like my own feeling, as much as an inheritance. A way of being so deeply engrained in my DNA that I couldn't even see it until my "month of slow the fuck down" brought me into a different perspective with it.
It felt really, really painful. Physically and emotionally. And it didn't feel like my pain, but I stayed with it.
And as I processed it in my own body, my relationship with "work" started to shift.
The unconscious drive to work hard doesn't seem to be there anymore.
I do feel love, excitement and enthusiasm for the new creative projects I want to do. I feel love and joy about tending to Dream Book. I feel AT HOME when I do my art and writing practice.
AND
This place where I had unconscious access to this whole stream of "work hard" seems to be... dried up.
It's like now I need to learn a new way of doing things.
Last week I wrote 3 Steps to Stop Procrastinating, Overcome Resistance and Distractions and Actually DO Your Creative Dream.
And I am noticing how those steps need something different from me right now.
The things that used to work don't work as well now.
I don't want to be fueled in the ways I used to be fueled.
Some days I seem to know how I DO want to be fueled... and some days I don't.
This is how it is.
You don't just magically step into a new way of being the moment you decide you want to.
You need to PRACTICE your dreams.
As often as possible.
PS: Come practice with me in Dream Book. Your future self will thank you.
My husband and I renovated the Dream Loft to add a bedroom downstairs and turn the upstairs into my creative workspace. We're not totally finished, but it feels like a home again, and it feels the way we wanted it to feel.
The big thing I want right now is to DEEPEN and EXPAND my art and writing practice.
And my new workspace feels like the place where this new practice happens.
And I guess a part of me hoped that once I had this dream space, I would just automatically do the things? That there would be no resistance or distractions, just me and my art (my cat Bear!) in this perfect sunny space.
And we would sail off into the rainbow, being effortlessly creative and finishing ALL of our projects.
I mean...
This is actually a Creative Dream Cliche and I totally fell for it.
We think...
Once the kids are in school. Once the kids move out. Once this big project is done. Once we've moved. One I've retired....
We keep expecting to land at this place in our lives where it's easy to do the things we most want to do.
And it's like... we WANT to do the things! We really, really want to.
So why is it so hard?
There are actually a million valid reasons WHY it's hard.
And because it's so hard, we say "once the... then I'll..." because when we believe that we'll do it "once the thing has changed" then we don't have to face the REAL reason why we're not doing it.
And I've been "once the new space is all set up I'll be sooooo productive" for some time. So it's time to get out of it.
Three steps to getting out of your resistance and getting into your creative project:
I always joke on my live classes about how I wish I could offer a three step system. And then I realised, in a sense there IS a three step system, it's just that each step can be... nebulous.
1. Feel your feelings. Yikes, I know. BUT/AND it's the feelings you have about getting to work that are stopping you from getting to work.
There are so many places that are fraught... what if I do really well, like REALLY well, like what if this idea is as genius as I think it is and everyone around me gets jealous? Or what if this idea is NOT as genius as I think it is and what if it's a huge flop? What if I can't get it to turn out the way I am imagining it? What if I put all of my money into making this and end up on the streets? What if no one understands this new direction I want to take with my work and it destroys my career? I mean, I could go on forever with examples of things people bring to our Dream Book calls. The "what ifs" that come from starting a new creative project are vulnerable and brutal.
But. Yes. Feel your feelings. Get to know what's happening beneath the surface. Write, paint, draw, dance, scream... explore how these feelings want to be expressed and express them.
Find out what the part of you who is MOST SCARED OF DOING THIS needs from you as you DO THIS. This is a part of the Inner Work that ALL dreams need (yes I can help you with this in Dream Book).
2. Connect with your WHY. Connecting with this is MAGIC. Remembering WHY you want to do this, feeling enthusiastic and excited and inspired helps you get into the flow.
You have parts of you who are afraid about doing this. You have parts of you who are SO READY to do this. You don't need to obliterate the frightened parts, just care for them so they're not freaking out, and then put a more brave part of you in charge of your creative project.
3. Figure out what will help you do the thing you want to do and then figure out how to get that.
Is it just that it's SUPER SUPER HARD to do this alone? Do you need more support (like joining me in Dream Book)?
Do you need better light?
A cozier space?
A more organized space?
A less organized space?
To re-arrange your schedule to make time for it?
To say no to other things so you can say yes to this?
Music that helps you get creative and focused? (I made a playlist for that here)
Aromatherapy? (I have a LOT of aromatherapy, but this is the one I am always using to help me get focused)
An accountability buddy (I can do this with you, in the Daily Mastermind blog in Dream Book)?
Making space to do the work is a part of the work.
This means the Inner Work of acknowledging and exploring your fears and figuring out how to bring them the healing they need.
And the Dream Work of connecting your dream for what you want to create and how you want to feel and all of the energy, enthusiasm, excitement and inspiration that is available to you there.
And the Outer Work of getting the support, space and time you need.
I wrote this for myself today, I hope you find it helpful too.
(Bear, sleeping in the "new" bedroom in the loft - this is the 1st of 3 murals I am painting in the loft right now. I am having so much fun!)
Yes There Is Still Time For Your Dreams For 2022 To Come True Alchemy Circle is happening TODAY at 1:00 Central (North America).
My vision for this call: creative dreamers gathering for healing, transformation, sudden insights and huge shifts in their inner relationship with their dreams.
You'll connect with your dreams and your inner knowing in a new way, and leave the call (or replay) with a boost of MAGIC and POSSIBILITY for finishing up the year.
PLUS you get to check out the Dream Book program AND get some support for playing/growing/healing/creating your way into your dreams over the next month - or longer, if you choose to stay with us.
The call willl be 60-90 minutes long. The replay will be available a few hours after we're done.
>>> Details + registration are here.
Hope to see you there!
Andrea
(Bear and I can't even tell you how happy we are with the new Creative Dream Headquarters. We are still in the process of re-imagining the whole Dream Loft, but we do have this section done, our new Creative Play Space and we are soooo ready for a winter of staying in, drinking tea, and making art.)
It's true. There is still time for all of your dreams for 2022 to come true.
The Creative Dream Incubator sent me this message - I woke up with it Thursday morning.
It's true not just for me, but for you, too.
The Creative Dream Incubator also sent me instructions for the: Yes There Is Still Time For All Of Your Dreams For 2022 To Come True Alchemy Circle, which will happen on Tuesday, Oct. 11 at 1:00 pm (Central, NA) - but it will be recorded.
This is a burst of possibility.
And also a healing circle.
A new perspective.
And a shift in your INNER relationship with your dream, which will change EVERYTHING.
I do hope you will join me for that, but even if you don't, this message is for you.
Your dreams are ready and waiting to land.
This is NOT the time to give up.
I woke up this morning with a gift:
Yes There Is Still Time For All Of Your Dreams For 2022 To Come True. An Alchemy Circle, live on Zoom. Happening Oct 11 at 1pm, Central, North America.
(But yes it will be recorded and the replay will be available within hours of the live event)
I had one free reward drink and $1 left on my Starbucks card.
I got a free Pumpkin Spice Latte and bought a Beyond Meat breakfast sandwich, and I emptied my Starbucks card without refilling it for the first time since I got it, over 15 years ago.
Before the pandemic, I used to go to Starbucks all the time. Even though it wasn’t my values to support a multi-national corporation, I did have a reason why and it worked for me then.
And when I say all the time I mean all the time. Pretty much every day.
One of the things I found most disorienting in the pandemic was the loss of “working from a coffee shop”.
Maybe it’s that I am more productive working that way.
Mostly I think it’s just that I thrive on routines and I need exercise first thing in the morning so GETTING to a coffee shop mattered as much as being there.
Losing that routine was harder than I thought it would be.
So it’s really surprising to me that I no longer want to work out of coffee shops.
I mean - going for coffee + journaling is still a big YES. Occasionally, even a few times a week, but not as a daily routine.
And when I do that, I am going to the small local shops. Both the coffee and the food are so much better, usually for less money, and it supports the local economy.
But anyway. This was the day I closed out my Starbucks account.
The Starbucks was SO busy and SO loud and I waited SO long for my stuff.
It was obnoxious all around and I just felt really glad to let this all go.
Not that going to coffee shops every day wasn’t REALLY REALLY GOOD FOR ME for a long time for a lot of reasons.
AND
Not doing this is what is REALLY REALLY GOOD FOR ME RIGHT NOW.
I’ve set up my new creative studio and I want to start my days here, lighting candles, meditating, watching the sun rise, writing and making art.
It feels good to clarify these ways that my routines are changing in this “pretending to be post-pandemic while Covid hospitalizations and deaths haven’t dropped at all” phase of the pandemic.
I think the real, actual “post pandemic” phase is going to bring more changes still.
But, from where we are today, I know I’ve grieved A LOT OF THINGS these last few years as we all have.
And now I feel mostly out of that grieving phase, I am ready for “what’s next”.
I think we are all being called to be more true to ourselves in how we live our lives, and I am so ready to answer that call.
Photo: day 1 of my new expanded art + writing practice. I set up a space on the floor in front of the giant window (where I can watch the sunrise while I write, paint and draw every morning this winter). My feet standing on a rainbow rug, with a sketchbook and paint pens and pillows all around.
We had a Zoom call yesterday in Dream Book and one theme came up over and over: how fucking PAINFUL it is to be disconnected from your dream.
Whether it's your life interfering and not giving you the time/space you need to do what you want to do, or having a lot of self doubt or insecurity about being good enough, or not actually knowing what it is your dream is.
It all hurts. And it can be surprising, how much it hurts.
Your dreams are a part of you. You need to feel connected to them to feel whole.
This doesn't mean everyone needs to write a NYT bestselling book, for example. It means everyone should have the encouragement and space they need to write, or create whatever it is they are dreaming of.
It's not about the outcomes. The act of engaging with our dreams helps us feel more whole.
So, yeah. Any time that is blocked, whether by internal or external forces, this is going to be painful.
It's because our dreams are so vulnerable and so valuable that disconnection from them can feel so.... big.
And we live in a world that doesn't really have language for this which makes it feel more complicated.
So at the end of the call, I heard over and over about how this call was a healing. That having this pain be validated and hearing that others feel it too felt like a healing. Without trying to CHANGE the pain, simply by HONOURING it.
So I wanted to offer that to you too.
Your dreams matter. They deserve to take up space in your life.
Our next live call in Dream Book is happening on Oct 12. I hope to see YOU, and YOUR DREAMS there in the circle.
Photo of Bear laying on the bed with mounds of blankets behind him and the plant mural in process behind that. The light is not great as there are boxes and boxes piled up in front of the window.
Joseph moved in last weekend, 2 weeks earlier than we were planning for.
So we had not completely finished the renovations before his stuff was here and now it’s total chaos.
I remember sharing here when Joseph moved out, that even though I still loved him and wanted to be married to him, I felt so much joy about having my own space. And now I feel so much joy about having my best friend back here. Living with Joseph is so FUN, he is always making me laugh.
Sometimes we want things that conflict with each other. I love living alone and I love living with my husband and there are pros and cons to each.
It’s human nature to have dreams that conflict with other dreams.
They don’t cancel each other out. We can get creative about finding ways to make space for all of the things we want.
The Dream Loft renovations were all about that. Changing how we use the space, to give each of us more of the things we had when we were living alone.
Today I’m putting things away, thinking more about how we want to use the space, and dreaming of a cozy winter here.
But I know everyone wants to know how Bear is doing with all of this.
When we started bringing all of the boxes in, Bear went upstairs and hid in his cat house. That first night, he slept up there (which is rare, he usually sleeps with me).
He stayed in his house that whole next day until I opened the container of cat treats, then I heard his little feet racing down the stairs 
and he’s stayed out here since then.
The second morning, I woke up pressed against the plant mural wall. Joseph was in the middle of the bed. Bear was stretched out on Joseph’s side. The new bedroom is really more Bear’s than anyone’s.
Psssttt... today is the LAST DAY for the early bird discount on the Year of Dreams 2023 planner + planning kits.
Use the discount code EARLYBIRD to get 15% off. Ends at midnight tonight.
Yesterday I started a brand new Dream Book.
Since I am starting a whole new season in so many different parts of my life, it felt right.
One of the first exercises in Dream Book is to create a page in your journal that defines your dream on multiple levels. This helps to hold the intention for all of the work to come in your Dream Book.
I was so excited to define my new dreams, but...
... nothing came to me.
I don't know what my dream is.
I felt lost. Sad. Anxious. Embarrassed. But mostly lost.
The dream is the guiding light, where did mine go?
I was feeling so distraught about this, I used one of the tools from Dream Book - The Un-Sticking Station.
Inside the Un-Sticking Station, I realised:
Oh! Of course I feel lost right now. I am on the cusp of receiving a dream I've been working on for a while - my new life with my husband and a new creative space for new creative projects. We're been renovating + redecorating + re-organizing + planning and we're in the final stages of all of it right now.
Oh! OH! OF COURSE I started a brand new Dream Book, I want to leap ahead and dream up the next thing, instead of doing the thing that's in front of me to do.
(This is one of the best recipes for consistent miracles: do the thing that's in front of you to do. It's also really hard to do consistently)
The thing that's in front of me to do is finish up all the details of this dream. Make space for it to fall into place. Which means: all of the annoying tasks that I've been putting off.
I have SO MUCH putting away and giving away and finishing painting to do.
But here's the other thing. It's not just that these are boring and tiresome tasks and I don't really want to do them.
It's that I am quickly moving from "dreaming/planning" to "OMG THIS IS HAPPENING".
The completion stage of a dream usually comes with a lot of feelings AND a lot of to-dos.
And I was trying to avoid all of the uncomfortable parts of that by skipping ahead to my next dream.
Instead of staying present where I am, and doing the things that are in front of me to do.
And that's why I couldn't articulate my next dream.
It's not time for that yet.
And then I didn't feel lost or anxious or sad anymore. I felt kind of annoyed that I'm out of excuses about doing these tasks I've been trying to avoid. But I am going to go do them now.
Sometimes our dreams need us to do the boring/annoying thing.
I’m calling today The Last Day Of Summer.
It’s the last day of summer weather on the forecast.
And I know we’re likely it have more hot days this month, but with the overnight lows getting lower, it’s not going to FEEL like summer again.
So.
The Last Day Of Summer.
It really feels like I am standing on a precipice.
The last week and a half Joseph and I (mostly him) have been working on tearing down my old workspace and building a new bedroom pergola, a wall, kitchen cabinets/shelves, a closet and a new TV stand (there was a LOT of wood in that old workspace).
Joseph is almost finished the building and I am starting the painting now.
We are transforming the Dream Loft into OUR home.
I should back up a bit, I guess.
A year and a half ago, Joseph moved out of the Dream Loft. We didn’t “separate” and we didn’t want to, but we also couldn’t keep going as things were at that time. During the pandemic, so many different things intersected… but that’s actually not a story I want to share.
The story I want to share is that he moved out, and with the magic of space (and gifted therapists) we created a much closer and more nourishing relationship.
But over the last 6 months we’ve both been feeling like we have too much space. Like we want to live together again.
Not that living together is better! I stand by everything I have written about how we have to do relationships in the ways that feel true for us, and not just do what “everyone does”.
So - I was actually really shocked when I started to feel like I wanted him to move back in, because when I thought about our future this was the one scenario that I was sure would NEVER happen. I mostly saw us living together someone else, further in the future.
And here we are. The Last Place I Though I Would Ever Be.
BUT
We thought of a way to re-arrange the entire space. Which is the magic of open loft living!
SO
Joseph took two weeks off work for the construction part. Then I’ll paint (like - murals and fun stuff). We’re both purging and organizing and we’ll put more work in to creating a more functional space.
I still love the spaciousness of loft living, but it does mean you need to put more thought and effort into being organized, or just not have any stuff.
And here we are. I am ready to start painting.
But first. The Last Day Of Summer.
It’s like - one last day for my favourite summer things. Like meeting a friend for a picnic lunch in the park. Last year on this day I went to the beach later in the day for one last swim.
This year? I don’t even know what I want to do.
It just feels SO MUCH like a precipice day.
The last year and a half, living apart, my husband and I grew so much. You know how therapists like you to name the ways you are changing - we can name hundreds of things that have changed in how we are in this relationship.
Like when we met, we knew what we wanted, but didn’t have the skills to create that relationship. And, together, we have learned those skills. And now we’re ready to move into the next phase of our relationship.
And the kids! Well they’re not kids anymore. And I don’t share their stories, but they are also moving on to new and exciting things.
And my work! I’ll share more about this later, but the Dream Loft re-arrangement includes me having a new creative studio. I feel like I am creating the space for my next level of art and writing and creating. There is SO MUCH I want to do and this new space feels like the perfect place to do it.
And my health! I’ve found the right supplements to manage my pedi-menopause symptoms and I FEEL LIKE MYSELF AGAIN after a very long few years.
It feels like it’s all falling into place, but also - I’ve worked at this for the last few years, by showing up consistently for my dreams.
And by “dreams” I mean - taking my own needs seriously. By showing up for my Dream Work practice even when dreams felt far away I figured out how to navigate this weird time, and create a space for my future dreams to take root.
So. Yeah.
I created this.
I brought myself to this place.
And today I’m just going to enjoy one last day of summer, and appreciate where I am, before taking the next steps.