(Photo of my journaling kit: zipper pouch + hardcover journal from the Creative Dream Incubator RedBubble shop)

We've been through so much these past few years and now the world is falling apart around us.

This is my mood and manifesto for the 2022 holiday season: do not let one single thing bring you down.

Hold boundaries. Say no. If it causes stress say "FUCK NO" and move on.

Your dreams are precious.

Your mental health is precious.

Your creativity is precious.

Your self care is precious.

What is your mood and manifesto for the 2023 holiday season?

Now that I am starting to feel better from Covid, and I am looking at my lists of things I wanted to do this month with my work and creative projects and in my social life... holy fuck it does feel like the holiday season is just CRASHING in on me.

So I am making lists and getting organized and also looking at: What are the boundaries I need to have in place, in order to have the December that I want?

(This is SUCH a valuable question to spend time with at this time of year)

My boundaries:

Between the pandemic, the general state of the world and my own experience with peri-menopause - I have anxiety now that I've never had before. I need to be more mindful of not over-extending myself and getting depleted + overwhelmed, because it happens so much more easily now.

I'm not going into a single store the whole month of December. Groceries will be click + collect. And my husband, who is as extraverted as I am introverted, and actually LIKES to go wander around in stores, can go get stuff if we need it beyond that.

I will not go to anything I don't want to go to, and the things I do go to - I will have a plan in place to go home early. (A plan that allows my party-loving husband to stay out late if he wants because he gets to have the holiday season he wants, too). Early bed times are rejuvenating to me and late bed times can actually ruin the whole next day for me. This plan needs to be in place ahead of time, otherwise it can feel too complicated to figure it out and I end up staying out later than is good for me.

"I will not go to anything I don't want to go to" means literally. I will risk disappointing people. AND I will plan ahead to manage my energy... like if I know I want to have dinner with my family for Christmas, then do I need to keep my schedule more free for a few days before, so I know I'll be well rested/regulated and have the energy?

I will stay hydrated and well nourished. I can eat anything I want at holiday parties. AND I will eat lots of veggies, whole foods and protein. I have a lot of fruits + veggies in the freezer to make quick smoothies, and protein powder.

Daily walks outside. No matter how cold it is - I have all the gear I need to do this safely + warmly.

Daily meditation. No exceptions.

Notice how I am feeling during screen time and stop when needed! This is one of the things that can deplete me very quickly.

Have a soothing creative project: I am starting an embroidery project that I am really excited about. I've done a whole bunch of test pieces and am ready to start - I am embroidering rainbow prisms, with an eyeball in front of them, all over my favourite linen dress.

Have some fun novels to read: I have 4 books waiting for me at the library right now that should be enough.

For if I do get depleted: Take Ashwaghanda right away (an adaptogen that is amazing for anxiety). Take CBD gummies when I'm ready for bed. (I am stocked up on both) Hot aromatherapy bath.

Which brings up a question: Where can I lower expectations in order to preserve my energy?

EG: house cleaning standards, getting more prepared foods and cooking less from scratch, putting things off until the new year.

Will keep thinking on that one.

Joseph and I have Covid. I got the bivalent vaccine and he didn't, and he is much sicker than I am. But still, I am really worn out.

I do want to keep up with the daily posts just because I want to! But, of course, I may need to take a break. Luckily, when I am really "on" I tend to write a lot, so I have some posts ready to go for the next few days and then I'll see where I'm at. So I'm sharing this one about Alchemy Wheels which I wrote sometime last week and I DID start to work on them after writing this 🙂

And - the Marketing As A Creative + Spiritual Practice Call (inside Dream Book) is ON! I am really excited about our call today.

Last week my explorations led me to see: I need new Alchemy Wheels.

Alchemy Wheels are one of the practices I lean on the most for making changes that feel outside of my comfort zone. Many times I've felt super stuck and then realized Oh! I need new Alchemy Wheels! and it always feels magic, like out of no way a way was made.

AND

It's one of the practices I RESIST the most. Precisely because of how clarifying and helpful it is.

You know we all teach the things I need the most. I created the Creative Dream Incubator because my dreams have always felt SO important me, like they've taken up a lot of space even long before I had any clue what to do with them AND my resistance and ambivalence has ALSO always taken up a lot of space.

I learned all of this because I had to. And I continue to need it. Again - it's like yoga. You don't stretch your back out once and then you're good for the rest of your life. AND the longer you practice, the more strong and flexible you get. The more you practice, the more you love AND NEED the practice.

So, that's why I am writing about the Alchemy Wheels today because I AM NOT DOING THEM. Is the embarrassment of saying I'd do a thing and then not doing it enough to get me to do it?

First I want to point out, the people who have been reading my daily posts since fall know this - I decided to start a new Dream Book this fall for my new dreams.

So far I have 2.5 pages.

Which means: I've been working on this for been several months and I have not completed the first WEEK of content from the Dream Book program.

Which is absolutely A SUCCESS.

I'm giving myself the time and space I need. This is perfect.

I have been doing the Dream Lab practice and other practices - it's not like I am not showing up for my dreams.

But the Dream Book itself is about creating a structure that brings CLARITY and MOMENTUM to your process.

And to truly do this you actually do need to let it take the time it takes.

So my resistance to doing these Alchemy Wheels (which are a thing you do at the end of the first month of content in the Dream Book program) IS partly my self doubt and fear and all that stuff that gets riled up with this work.

But it's MOSTLY about me doing this on MY timeline.

I've been unplugging from all of the ways our culture tells us to move fast and stay busy. So moving fast with my dreams doesn't feel right.

Finding my actual pace is a process.

This IS the work. Even though it looks like nothing is happening.

This IS THE WORK. Repeating that for the voices in me that are still feeling like I am moving too slow even though everything I just wrote feels so TRUE.

And yes, I am going to go START my Alchemy Wheels now. I am not going to use the cutouts (which you can print out and glue into your journal so you have the wheels there, with some ideas already on the, and keep filling them in) I want to do this old school. Drawing in my journal. Adding colour. Giving myself space to BE WITH this process of clarifying and defining my next moves.

Every Friday I do a Dream Status Report. These help me reflect on the past week so I can LEARN from my process, and apply what I learn to the next week. Setting intentions for the week is fun, but reflecting on how you held that intention at the end of the week is a much more powerful practice.

PART ONE: (sometimes these can stay the same for months at time, sometimes they change often)

My dream is: BEING the artist + writer I want to be. This is the "big picture" dream - this includes lots of different inner + outer things, which I am working on clarifying in my new Dream Book.

I want it because: Staying where I am feels like staying stuck + this feels so enticing and important.

When I have it I will feel: More in the flow, more creative and like... feeling fully expressed. Right now it's like I have sooo much TO express, I would like to feel more fully EXPRESSED.

My new moon intention for this month: VERY SPECIFIC business goal for the end of the year

PART TWO: Invite your dream in (using the Dream Lab practice) to help you with the rest of the prompts.

My dream shows up as... it's an embroidery pattern I was working on yesterday. An eyeball with a triangle behind it, and the triangle is a rainbow. (I knew I wanted to embroidery eye symbols on a dress and yesterday I started drawing and embroidering some practice eyes, and then I added the rainbow triangle and I am really liking it)

So, my dream showed up as the embroidery like it's alive. And it's soooo sweet. Like it feels like my creativity brought to life and I want to cry with happiness seeing it.

Since I am also working on holding onto my new moon intention more firmly this month, and since last week it butted in on this meeting with my dream (that's there the "business bitch" came from) this week I thought I would invite it in.

My new moon intention shows up as embroidery scarabs. I just looked it up - I am using the book Mystical Stitches for my embroidery (soooo good!) and I knew I had seen scarabs in there and sure enough, she says they are "a great symbol for birthing new projects you have been working diligently on"

The scarabs, which immediately felt, to me, like a symbol of abundance, are crawling around on the floor pretty fast. They seem energized by the eye/rainbow triangle.

This is a WHOLE different relationship between the part of me who wants to be creative/happy/free/expressed and the part of me who does have specific business goals.

I am thinking back to last week's meeting between the Dream Fairy and the Business Bitch and I don't feel any of that here. There is no pushing against or arguing, this feels like a peaceful relationship where everyone can co-exist and even support each other.

NOT that it feels like this inner conflict has been FOREVER RESOLVED for me, but today it feels good.

Something worked it's way out by me giving this space last week, even if I don't understand in a logical way what happened.

I sit with this meditation a little longer and it's like - the rainbow beaming from the eyeball is like the sun shining down on the scarabs. Energizing them.

I mean that's so obvious, right?

Me being the artist + writer I want to be, me feeling expressed and in the flow - of course this is the "light" that lights up the marketing work. And I just cringed a little writing "marketing work" because that's not how it feels at all.

I am SO GRATEFUL for the Marketing as a Creative + Spiritual Practice Calls.

(These calls are happening every month in Dream Book - the next one is Dec 7)

Even just having the intention to keep doing a monthly call keeps me focused on this.

What it feels like is happening for me is that the three parts: marketing, creativity, spirituality, are each their own thing (I visualize them as circles) and then the overlap and ideally I'd like to be working from the centre of all three overlapping. AND understanding that each day I'm likely leaning more towards one of them.

In that, I am noticing how I have been making the creativity and spirituality parts more important, and leaning into them more deeply... and I DO want (and need!) to lean into them deeply but in a way that doesn't discount the marketing aspect.

It really is something to hold the "this is a PRACTICE and I am focused on honouring + following my thoughts, feelings, ideas, experimenting, etc and practicing without pressure" and also "this is a practice around marketing and I do have goals and my goals are important too!".

Reflecting on this, what feels important for me right now is to integrate these in a way I haven't done before.

In one sense - of course this is all integrated because it's all a part of your work. And in another sense, for me, it's like I have been treating these as separate things. Of course my practices INFORMS and NOURISHES what happens in my marketing but there is a totally different relationship and type of connection that I would like to have between the two.

So, what I got from this meditation with the scarabs is that I need to let my goals matter more. This feels really nourishing.

PART THREE:

Last week’s focus was: Sit with the question: how do we hold this goal FIRMLY but not with PRESSURE? And bring in the HAPPY FAIRY VIBES.

What happened in the last week? LOTS of sitting with the question. And I did find one answer - you don't HOLD it! You BE it! Which just has a different feeling and approach. And so I was looking at how to BE the artist and writer I want to be..

And that's why I started the embroidery project this week.

That photos is from May, that's my first embroidery experiment, which taught me A LOT! And I meant to keep going, but I didn't. And having all these embroidered me-made clothes feels like an important part of BEING my dream, but also the work of MAKING the clothes feels like part of it, engaging my creativity in that way.

I also went for a 1 hour walk each day, had fun cooking, I'm feeling really good and taking really good care of me. I am SO HAPPY IT'S DECEMBER. I am SO READY for winter, for quiet-inward focus.

What am I learning/How do I feel about this? I feel REALLY EXCITED about all of this, making space to become the artist + writer I want to be.

What do I need now? More quiet. I love how in winter it feels like the world kind of moves further away and I have more space for ME.

What does my dream need now? I see the embroidery there - and a needle appears. I need to keep CREATING.

Taking all of this into account, my focus for the next week is: Nurture my creative flow.

PS: Remember: Yikes! The I Am Having A Lot Of Feelings practice is free to access until Dec 5.

Remember: Yikes! The I Am Having A Lot Of Feelings practice is free to access until Dec 5.

These are practices like yoga is a practice.

You don't do yoga once, and then three years later wonder why your back is stiff is stiff when you "did yoga" to stretch it out.

This is why I offer so many different practices, so that you can find the one that works on any given day.

As you repeat them, listen to your own intuition and creativity and you'll find your own ways of working with them.

While I was doing the Yikes! I Am Having A Lot Of Feelings meditation I wanted to draw it out instead of fill in the journaling sheet, so I did.

(see photo above)

I love doing this. Creating a visual representation of the feelings helps me see them from a different perspective. And as you can see - no art skills needed! This is NOT about making art that looks like something, it's about being with your feelings in the moment. Giving them colours and shapes.

Once I was done, it was depressing to see how far away I was from the "happy fairy vibes" that I was going for this week.

And then I realised - actually I need a nap.

And then my Dream Self (from another practice we do in Dream Book) came in and whispered "You are doing great. Keep going." and I FELT IT.

We all feel feelings sometimes! It's ok!

Such a relief.

(Journaling cutout from Dream Book)

I was doing the Dream Lab practice to meet with the soul of my dream and I couldn't hold it.

This is the basic practice I teach for Dream Work, I have done it daily for YEARS and today... I couldn't get into it.

As I tried, it felt like a wave went through me, all of the liquids in my body flowed to my feet.

What the heck? It felt like my body was at risk for a tsumani.

Why is it so hard for me to hold this dream?

This isn't usually a helpful kind of question. But it feels like the question I have right now.

This question likely can't lead to any helpful information for what to DO next but it could lead to more information about the inner work I need to do.

So: Why is it so hard for me to hold this dream?

Now I feel this uncomfortable sensation in my throat.

And I want to hide. Like I feel this strong burning desire to pull blankets over me.

My ear starts to hurt.

Everything feels foggy and dense. No answers anywhere.

See what I mean about this not being a helpful question?

OK let's try - what would help me be able to hold it?

Then my Dream Self (from another Dream Work practice we use in Dream Book) intervenes. "Honey, stop asking questions. BE WITH the process AS IT IS"

Oh, right.

However I am holding my dream right now is how I am holding my dream. I can only get "better" at it by practicing.

AND ALSO

Holding it more firmly is NOT better.

AUTHENTIC IS BEST

I have a lot of ambivalence. This is how it's showing up today.

I ask the happy fairy and the business bitch to join me.

I want to ask the happy fairy how she can hold the dream so well but then I see - she's not HOLDING it. She's BEING it. She's dancing and not thinking about any of this.

So I look over at the business bitch. She's sitting on the floor looking at spreadsheets. She's got a snack and she looks really happy.

They are both doing what they want to do.

So what am I doing?

Now my dream is a light in a jar sitting in front of me.

I am working through my shit.

I am staying clear about what I want next even when I have no clue how to get it and thinking about it stirs up A LOT of crap.

And then the answer comes and I now I know what to do next:

I need a new set of Alchemy Wheels - another practice from Dream Book, this one bridges Dream Work with Inner Work and Outer Work.

So that's what I'll do next.