My "post" pandemic, peri-menopause "I am too sensitive for this world", running-a-micro-business-in-late-stage-capitalism-while-the-climate-is-changing-in-terrifying-ways self has a harder time getting things organized than my pre-2016 self.
I did a whole therapy session last week outlining these differences, the events that happened that changed things for me, the things I learned and the ways I grew, and what I want to DO with all of this now.
I'm also feeling inspired from watching The Last Of US and thinking of all the different ways of living we can create post-collapse. Ten years ago, when I thought about the economy falling apart, I didn't know how I could contribute to re-building. I thought that all of my REAL skills, the work I do with the Creative Dream Incubator would be needed but not urgent and I might focus on making things, like sewing clothing for people out of salvaged materials.
But now I see how urgent it is that we, collectively, get better at listening to our inner truth and having the courage and capacity to live our values.
It will be the difference between dystopia and building a better world for everyone.
In 2016, in the aftermath of the election of Donald Trump, I started to learn what white supremacy really is and how it's functioning in our world today, and I pulled back from a lot of the work I was doing.
That's when I started to see it, how we needed new ways of doing things if we want a new world. I started to see how all of the training and development I put into growing my skills for this work was done from within extremely problematic ways of being. That the white supremacist, ableist, capitalist, colonialist ways of seeing the world that our culture was built on are just as present in healing circles and coaching programs as they are anywhere else. These are the invisible systems that hold up our culture and they will remain there until we learn to see them and work to tear them down.
I learned to start to see the ways my work was rooted in all of these things that I, myself, never wanted. It's like a fish not knowing what water is. We're swimming in it, and it takes work to cultivate an awareness of it.
So in 2016 I started to look for a better way to offer Creative Dream Coaching.
I still believed that getting better at LISTENING to own selves and having the tools, skills and support to be BRAVER in how we live our values is one of the things that is going to help save the world.
But some of the tools I learned for this work were about spiritual bypass even while I was consciously trying to not do that, some were about leaning unconsciously into privilege and calling it grace, many were ableist and all were appropriated, cherry-picked from other cultures and taken completely out of context.
From 2016 to 2019 I worked on finding better ways, and that culminated in the Dream Book program. Essentially, Dream Book helps you create a PRACTICE for Creative Dreaming to help you navigate the space between where you are and where you want to be.
While I've been thrilled, moved, healed and delighted to do this work every day with the people in Dream Book, I've been flailing around trying to figure out how I want the Creative Dream Incubator to show up outside of this program.
I mean, I pulled back in 2016. The internet was a different place back then. The world was a different place back then.
So diving back in to "being more visible online" has been tricky.
But, after all of this flailing, I am now feeling clear and somewhat sure about how I want to do this.
I've been writing a book. So far it's called
SHOW UP FOR YOUR CREATIVE DREAMS
and
CREATIVE DREAMING IS A PRACTICE
And who knows how many other names will come to me as I work on it and what name it will end up with.
It's about how we need to PRACTICE our creative dreams. Which includes practicing the healing and growth and creativity that gets us there.
And then how once we have a practice, that practice becomes a CONTAINER for healing, growth, creativity and magic.
Once we have a practice, that practices helps us access everything we need.
What I want to do is share this book as I write it.
In the past, when I would do any kind of free offering I had it all planned out in advance. I stepped into it feeling like I knew what it was and I knew what I was doing.
I want to do this different.
I want to be in the magic of it. And share as I go even though I don't know exactly WHERE I am going, I do trust the process.
When I say I've been writing a book - I mean by hand, drawing each page. It's a slow process but I am having so much fun and I can't wait to start sharing the drawings.
I'll start by sharing posts on Instagram and here on my blog. And then see where this takes us.
Let’s say I want to create marketing content for my social media.
If I approach it as a task, I’m thinking about the strategy, what I want it to look like and what I want it to say, and I am just trying to meet my goal in the most direct way possible. Create the content.
For many reasons this approach can become boring, overwhelming and/or stressful.
But if I approach it as a PRACTICE, I’m getting into my flow. I’m BEING WITH the soul of my work and exploring all of the ways it wants to shine out via this social media content.
PRACTICE GENERATES FLOW.
Then I am using this flow as the fuel for my creative flow, and start playing with ideas. Colours. Patterns. Images. Writing. Just creating and expressing this light, without trying to corral it into marketing content. This way, my ideas iterate quickly, new ideas emerge, and as I follow all of the rabbit holes my inspiration throws me way, I can see my writing and art improve right in front of my eyes. The first few things I started with feel clunky compared to what I have in the end. This is the magic of practice.
Then, THEN, after I’ve followed that creative flow and have a pile of images and writing, THEN I corral it into marketing content. Take these words and add it to this image and you’ve got a post. Rinse and repeat until you have all of the content you need.
**This is how it works for me, how it works for you can be completely different because when you start with connecting to the soul of your work, and listening to your own inspiration and unique creative voice and give yourself some space to practice your ideas - then you create YOUR way **
And then, because ALL OF THIS is a practice, you put it out there and notice what happens and use that information to help inform your next steps. You bring your questions and your needs into your practice and work them out in there. A practice is a container for new ideas, transformation, creativity + magic.
Doing your marketing YOUR OWN WAY is the only way that actually does service to the soul of your work. I can’t give you a three step system for this, but I am offering Marketing as a Creative + Spiritual practice as a monthly call for this for all of 2023. This is available to all members of Dream Book. Join us here.
Think of what you love most about your work.
Think about why you do your work.
Imagine all of this as a ball of light that represents the soul of your work.
How does this ball of light want to shine out into the world?
That is Marketing as a Creative + Spiritual practice.
Connecting with your own inner truth and the soul of your work, and then using your creativity to express and share that in your unique way.
Most marketing approaches focus on tools, strategies and most of all - results.
I believe we need space away from that, to be with our own truth, in order to find our own way. Not that the results aren’t important, but that we can’t start there.
That’s what Marketing as a Creative + Spiritual Practice is all about.
I do have a guided alchemy meditation for this, and lots of thoughts on what it means to develop a practice of writing, exploring, creating + playing to create marketing content that shines that light in a way that it lands right in front of the people that it was meant for.
We do a monthly call where we do the meditation together, and then - talk! We talk about what’s hard about figuring this out and what’s inspiring us and what we’re excited about trying and how things are working. We ask each other questions and share ideas about the tools and strategies we’re trying.
Marketing as a Creative + Spiritual practice started in November 2022 as an experiment, and I’ll be doing a monthly call for this for all of 2023. This is available to all members of Dream Book. Join today and you can binge on all of the call replays.
Feeling Worthy of your Dreams has been rescheduled to Saturday, April 1.
It's still happening at 1:00 PM Central (North America Daylight Time) I've been sick this week and needed a few more days to recover...
A few days ago I wrote "FEELING WORTHY of your dreams isn't something you naturally have, or don't have. It's a thing to cultivate."
In all my years of doing this work, I have never worked with anyone who ALWAYS felt worthy of their dreams.
Of course it's possible that those people exist but just don't hire people like me.
But it's more likely that we ALL struggle with this.
Though I don't think it's human nature, I think it's a by-product of the colonialist capitalist culture we live in. My husband is an Indigenous person with ties to his own traditional ways, and has a degree in Native American History, and with all of his knowledge, this is what he says:
Pre-contact, people in North America did not doubt their creative voices.
This thing where artists have a lot of self doubt is CULTURAL, not intrinsic human nature.
And guess what? ARTISTS HAVE THE ABILITY TO IMPACT AND CHANGE CULTURE.
But to do this we have to keep doing the work of freeing ourselves of the ways our culture negatively impacts us.
We have to DO THE WORK to cultivate a sense of worthiness.
Your dreams chose you.
You are already worthy.
But it's up to you if you're going to cultivate worthiness as a FEELING and STATE OF BEING.
FEELING WORTHY of your dreams Zoom class and healing circle is happening April 1 at 1:00 pm Central (North America). Replay provided (I am doing this one mostly for the replay - to have this healing circle available to all members right in those moments when you feel not good enough)
It's open to all members of Dream Book.
YOU ARE WORTHY OF YOUR WILDEST DREAMS
FEELING WORTHY of your dreams is magic. It's healing.
CLAIMING YOUR DREAMS is saying: This is the world I want to help create. This is what I believe in. This is what is important to me.
When we cut ourselves off from even dreaming of what we want to dream of (and we ALL do this in different ways) we stunt possibilities for the whole world.
There is no value in denying your dreams.
Though it's SO EASY to feel not good enough because dreams are so VULNERABLE.
FEELING WORTHY of your dreams isn't something you naturally have, or don't have. It's a thing to cultivate.
Do this with me!
FEELING WORTHY of your dreams Zoom class and healing circle is happening March 30 at 1:00 pm Central (North America). Replay provided (I am doing this one mostly for the replay - to have this healing circle available to all members right in those moments when you feel not good enough)
It's open to all members of Dream Book.
YOU ARE WORTHY OF YOUR WEIRDEST DREAMS
The call to conform is so powerful and invisible. We don't even notice all the ways we censor ourselves in order to fit in.
The other day I talked about how you are worthy of your BIGGEST dreams, I think it's even more important to feel worthy of your WEIRDEST dreams.
All the ways your heart's desires stray from the mainstream point to your unique power and magic.
You're not a cookie cutter you're a living breathing mystery.
Everywhere you try to fit in you cut yourself off from your own magic.
GET WEIRDER.
FEELING WORTHY of your dreams Zoom class and healing circle is happening March 30 at 1:00 pm Central (North America). Replay provided (I am doing this one mostly for the replay - to have this healing circle available to all members right in those moments when you feel not good enough)
It's open to all members of Dream Book.
YOU ARE WORTHY OF YOUR BIGGEST DREAMS.
We all have a ceiling on what we think is actually possible for us, and that ceiling isn't about reality it's about our own self concept, which is completely malleable.
Though I don't believe we should be constantly pushing on that ceiling in the name of "dreaming bigger".
It's that we have a mental concept of "right size" "too small" and "too big" and sometimes our dreams push up against that, and so we try to shrink our dreams into what feels do-able.
But your dream is your soul speaking to you.
So, instead of trying to shove it into a smaller container that fits with your current sense of what is possible for you, how about you listen to what it's actually saying?
You are worthy of your BIGGEST dreams.
I'm not saying "get out there and work your ass off and make it happen" I am saying: how about giving yourself permission to want what you want? To give yourself space to consider... what do you REALLY want?
Yes, you live in a world that is hostile to dreams. Yes, compromises may need to be made. Yes, the world will judge and belittle your dreams and ask you who are you to think you can do this?
Your dream is your soul calling you towards your true self. There is magic and power in this.
And there is a big difference between going after your dream and landing on a compromise, and making compromises about what you will ever allow yourself to dream about.
Your dream is here to heal and grow you. But it can only work it's magic if you accept it.
FEELING WORTHY of your dreams Zoom class and healing circle is happening March 30 at 1:00 pm Central (North America). Replay provided (I am doing this one mostly for the replay - to have this healing circle available to all members right in those moments when you feel not good enough)
This call is open to all members of Dream Book.
I started my business doing coaching and workshops, but I quickly learned that what I really wanted to do was start an ongoing membership group to support people in the ongoing work of bringing their creative dreams into their daily routines.
These little daily steps are so small they seem insignificant and like why even bother? but then it suddenly hits you all the ways they are adding up and becoming something much greater.
I think turning your creative dreams into a daily practice is the most magical, healing and expansive thing anyone could ever do and I am currently working on a new workbook all about it.
I'm hand drawing the whole thing, so it's a very slow process, but I am thinking about sharing the pages on social media as I go.
When I finished university with a degree in fashion design and started my career as a textile artist, what I really wanted to do was make things that made people believe in themselves, and their dreams.
Partially because I was desperate to believe in myself and my dreams.
Partially because there were times when I DID believe in myself and my dreams and when I had this feeling, it was everything, and I wanted to share it.
I had a lot of passion and desire as well as creative skills and talent.
I did not have ANY sense of how to make my dreams work in a practical, financial way. Nor did I have any support, mentors or role models for that.
But I didn't give up. I followed my dreams on a weird and winding road (which includes becoming an accredited spiritual teacher and having my clients refer to me as their "life coach" and not knowing what that meant) until I was 36, which is when I quit my last job (in 2010/2011) and made the Creative Dream Incubator my full time job and dream come true.
Even through a worldwide pandemic, inflation and late-stage capitalism, my business has been stable. I'm so happy that these days my dreams DO work in a very practical and financial way.
And I do want this for everyone.
I spent the first 10 years of my career with the Creative Dream Incubator working very closely with people and developing as many programs as I could. Then I took everything I learned about WHAT ACTUALLY WORKS and put it into one thing: Dream Book.
Dream Book is a sturdy container for growing your dreams. It offers support and guidance while holding your own intuition in the driver's seat. Because all of your answers are in YOU, but most of us do need support and space-holding to FIND those answers - and then to summon the courage to act on that inner knowing.
Dream Book is what I needed 26 years ago as a starving artist. And it's what I still need, and use, every day as I continue to explore, heal, grow and create.
I just walked 30 minutes to one of my favourite coffee shops.
It's a bakery with a wood fired oven, so it's toasty warm in here all winter, and smells amazing. Off to the side is a little coffee shop with windows along both walls letting in so much sun, and the whole place is full of plants.
Between the heat and the sunshine and the plants it really is an epic place for journaling on winter mornings. (When the weather is nicer I prefer outdoor spots)
I'm sitting at a bar along the window, with a fresh quiche tart (red pepper and feta) and a really good cup of coffee.
Today's the day, Slow the f*ck down! BE as powerful, creative and magnetic as you ARE is happening this afternoon.
I have an almost-daily meeting with the soul of my dreams. Last summer it sent a really clear message one day: Slow the fuck down!!!!!!
I was like "Wow I don't think you have ever sworn at me before"
And my dream was like "This is the perfect language to convey the intensity with which I want you to slow down."
And I was like "OK, I guess" but I didn't really get it.
Then the next day the message was "BE as powerful, creative, and magnetic as you ARE" and over the next week or so it became clear that these two messages worked together.
Here's the thing: I was already moving slower than I was comfortable with. I was moving slower than I wanted to. I was moving slower than I see everyone around me moving.
So I didn't see how this message applied to me.
But the soul of my dreams is this energy force that includes my own soul purpose and potential, everything my heart desires, and all the ways I need to heal and grow to be able to move towards any of this. It has never steered me wrong.
So last August, I created the "slow the fuck down! BE as powerful, creative and magnetic as you ARE" journaling + meditation invitation. I journaled and mediated on this them every day for 30 days and shared this on my blog, and invited everyone to do it with me.
This theme still pops up inside Dream Book.
I've been surprised by how many members are finding their dreams also telling them to slow the fuck down.
Since then, I have continued to work with these messages when they come up. Some of the things I've learned:
1. This thing where I like to go for a walk or bike ride FIRST THING in the morning and then do some coffee + journaling - it's vital for my wellbeing. The voice that says "Maybe skip all that today, you have a lot of work to do" is always wrong.
2. Just because I was moving way slower than the people around me, and waaaaayyyyy slower than I was raised to move, still doesn't mean I am moving slow enough!
3. I carry a lot of generational trauma around working hard. It's very heavy in my body.
4. Me, moving slow, enjoying my life, pursuing whatever the fuck I feel inspired to pursue - this is my ancestor's wildest dreams for me. At one point I got in touch with one particular ancestor, I don't know who they were, but I could feel all the joy they felt about my life and were cheering me on to be even happier.
5. I started working on a passion project: embroidering my own clothes. I have been making my own clothes for a long time, which brings me a lot of joy, but embroidering my own clothes is next-level. I did not anticipate the joy and healing I would receive from this.
6. I wore one of my embroidered dresses to therapy and showed my therapist and she said "Wow! I have so many questions!" and we ended up having a really deep and intense therapy session around embroidery and how I am re-claiming my creative spirit and some of my original creative dreams as a young person fresh out of university.
I feel so optimistic about the world right now.
As the systems we have lived inside collapse, something so much better is ready to be birthed.
Slowing down is a form of dis-connecting from the culture we live in, so we can re-consider our values and needs, and create whole new ways of being.
I am so thrilled to be doing this work.
I hope you'll join me today for Slow the Fuck Down! Be as Powerful, Creative and Magnetic as you ARE.
It's happening at 1:00 Central (North America).
But the replay will be amazing too. On our last live call we had a conversation about this - some people had been re-listening to old calls and realizing that there is a potent magic found in the replays that is not on the live calls. Just like there is a different kind of magic on the lives.