I had my new Dream Book all set up and I was LOVING how I brought my planner and Dream Book into one book.
I’d always wanted to do that and now here I am, I’ve got it… and… I don’t know, it’s not feeling how I thought it would.
(THIS IS NOT UNUSUAL! Sometimes we pursue a dream, we get the thing exactly how we wanted it only to discover this is not how we want it at all. But there isn’t another way to find this out! This is not failure, this is a step on the path).
I’m still wishing for something else and not sure what that is.
I have stuff I want to do in my planner.
I have stuff I want to do in my Dream Book.
I have stuff I want to do more freestyle.
Thoughts:
I have it all in one disc-bound book, and I LOVE BEING ABLE TO MOVE PAGES AROUND!!! This is magic!
But I don’t like taking this big bulky thing with me anywhere. And I don’t want to only work in it at home.
I know - I could just take the pages I want to work with with me, and I do this - but this doesn’t feel right either.
I love using a small (5”x8”) hardcover journal for freestyle journaling. LOVE.
I miss using a larger (8”x10”) hardcover journal for Dream Book.
I want to buy a planner next year. As much as I’ve loved the flexibility of the printables.
I also want to make my own planner for next year!
I don’t want to make a 2024 version of the Year of Dreams Planner but I do want to make a bunch of different styles/sizes of fill-in-the-date planners and offer it as a set for people like me who want to keep changing how they do it.
THIS IS SO ANNOYING.
Having all of these conflicting thoughts and feelings and underneath it all feeling:
THIS SHOULD BE SIMPLER
And also
This is probably not about the journals. I’m working through something. I don’t need to know what it is.
And also
Trying to make myself “just do it” with whatever journal I already have set up take all these thoughts and feelings and crams them inside me where they don’t do any good.
But if I give them all space, I know at some point I will work through them and understand what I want to do next.
UNTIL THEN
I don’t want to just feel stuck.
I also don’t want to force myself to do a thing that doesn’t feel right.
I’m going to do an Un-Sticking Station with the part of me who doesn’t feel right using the journals that I have.
Dream Book members:
Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.
Get your next Dream Book lesson.
Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab which is what I am using for my dream meeting drawings.
Check out the calendar of upcoming calls.
Note: This is a post about my daily practice with my Creative Dreams - in these posts I often link to the tools, courses and processes I use which are only available to Dream Book members. If you're not a member, find out more + join us here.
Last November I did a Marketing as a Creative + Spiritual Practice call as an experiment, to share some ideas. It went so well we've been doing it as a monthly call ever since. (These calls are in the Dream Book membership)
What I wanted from marketing at that time was to FEEL a certain way about how I am putting myself out there.
But I could not articulate how, exactly, I wanted to feel - just that I wanted it all to feel different and this vague sense of how I wanted it to be. It's so awkward to know you want to feel different about a thing but not be able to put your finger on how you want to feel!
But, indoing the calls every month... Practicing in between calls. Experimenting. Processing. Exploring. Staying with it even when there are no answers in sight....
I feel like I have it now.
It feels sustainable and open and COHESIVE. Like I am offering work inside and outside of Dream Book and it's all a cohesive whole.
The thing that's changed this is, of course, the Monday Co-Dreaming calls. They feel like the right way for me to invite people into the world of the Creative Dream Incubator.
And I am SO grateful for the people who are showing up because it’s not the same without them! It feels MAGICAL and I do want to keep doing them.
It feels like such a beautiful way to open the door for anyone who is interested in my work. Or to include people who can’t afford the money or the time commitment for the full program, so they can still have some ongoing support for navigating the path.
The only part that feels annoying sometimes is promoting the calls.
So guess what - when it feels annoying I just don’t do it!!!!
I am releasing that idea that feels like it got hammered into my head from the online business classes I took that we need to “do all the things” to “make the most” of everything.
Sometimes it’s felt fun to create promotional content and put it out there, and in those times I did it.
Other times I just didn’t have the energy, so I didn’t do it.
No rules here!
I don’t want to do any UGH. This feels revolutionary.
And it’s not like I ever wrote my emails and marketing content FEELING UGH.
I would feel UGH and remind myself of the WHY and then work through my feelings to get to a place of feeling like - yeah that is worth doing - and then do it.
But now instead of all that I’m just - not.
THIS FEELS SO MUCH MORE SUSTAINABLE because I am doing it at my own human pace instead of doing everything at the pace of “how the online business people said it should be done”.
I do want to say though:
It DOES take a lot of promoting even to get people to participate in a free thing online.
There is so much out there now, it's hard to get people's attention, even if they're already following you. So - when I do feel inspired to create content around promoting these calls, I do it!
On Friday I was thinking about how much fun I am having with these calls, and ended up making a bunch of artwork for them, so now I have that all made and can post it whenever I want to share something, instead of having to figure out in the moment what to share.
The other thing I changed is I am now sharing my daily posts on my blog which felt ALL KINDS OF AWKWARD.
I mean each layer of "awkward feelings" that I worked through opened up a new layer of "awkward feelings" and it felt like it would go on like that forever but I think I found the bottom - now it all feels good.
I don’t really promote the blog posts either - I don’t send them to my email list or even post on Facebook most of the time. When there’s a really interesting post that I FEEL like I want to share, I share that.
Sometimes I read the post on video and post it on Instagram. I am enjoying that.
But most often - I just put it on my blog for the people who choose to go and read it. Not putting all that effort into putting it in front of people like I used to.
This feels like - if someone feels called to explore my work, it’s all there for them to see. Not locked away but also not shining every spotlight on it that I can.
IT FEELS SO GOOD.
I am consistent about putting things out there into my tiny ecosystem. I’m not consistent about how I put it put it into the larger social media/email/internet ecosystems and that’s ok!
WILL THIS MAKE AS MUCH MONEY AS THE OLD WAYS?
I don’t know!
I do know the “old” internet marketing ways I learned in 2009 onward don’t really apply to the way the internet works now. I could keep doing them but they don’t make the money they used to, they don’t get attention like they used to.
And the “new ways” I see people doing - no fucking way am I going there. And also - it feels like these are starting to crumble too. Every week on Facebook a new "big name" is being talked about for unethical and illegal behaviour.
I don't want to be a part of any of that. I just want to do my work.
So I am trusting this because it feels right. This feels like ENOUGH so I am trusting that.
And I’d have to keep doing this until the end of the year at least to get a sense of how it “works” in terms of money.
BUT
All these months of Marketing as a Creative + Spiritual Practice have really shifted my perspective on how I define if a thing “works”.
DOES IT FEEL GOOD FOR ME
DOES IT RESONATE WITH THE PEOPLE THAT THE WORK IS FOR
These two things feel so much more important than:
HOW MUCH MONEY DOES IT MAKE
Because money is NOT the only factor.
I mean, money was NEVER the only factor for me with my work, but it did feel like the way to define if marketing activities, specifically, "worked".
Though I recognize that we need to make money too!
This business IS my only livelihood.
But/And I do have lots of long-term members of Dream Book and ongoing one-on-one clients and when I need more money - things tend to happen. I used to do more joint ventures to bring in more money, though that doesn’t feel right anymore. Mostly I trust myself to figure it out.
Underneath that is the thought that actually - I am taking the energy I would have used on marketing and using it to create hand-drawn guided journals and maybe that will make me more money in the end?
For marketing - I want to feel like I am shining the light of the Creative Dream Incubator, I am creating welcoming spaces for people to come and see what we’re doing and then leaving it to people to decide if they want to join.
I’m not doing any of the persuasive marketing + sales tactics that the internet is full of now so having income goals be attached to marketing feels off.
Also - I started this business as a single person with no plans to ever be married. I have since gotten married and my husband moved into my condo so we split the bills now. This does make all of this easier.
Also, I did own a home before I started this business and that helps too for financial stability! I sold it and bought the loft condo which is more expensive to maintain but still I’m leaning on all of the equity I already had in my home. And I sold my car and got a bike 9 years ago - I did this because having a car felt wrong, having a bike feels AMAZING (as does taking lots of long walks in winter when I don’t ride - though if my city ever starts clearing bike paths safely I will!) I didn’t do this for financial reasons but it IS a lot cheaper to maintain a bike than a car!
We do have to consider the facts of our financial situation, which is why I shared that here. I don’t think Marketing as a Creative + Spiritual practice is about bypassing reality. It’s about being where we are and working with what we have - which includes our tremendous gifts AND our actual life circumstances.
Our next Marketing as a Creative + Spiritual Practice call is happening August 9 - tomorrow.
But we do these calls every month, and there is a library of calls to work through when you join, if you'd like to explore with us in Dream Book.
Dream Book members:
Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.
Get your next Dream Book lesson.
Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab which is what I am using for my dream meeting drawings.
Check out the calendar of upcoming calls.
Note: This is a post about my daily practice with my Creative Dreams - in these posts I often link to the tools, courses and processes I use which are only available to Dream Book members. If you're not a member, find out more + join us here.
I'm offering these live Co-Dreaming (Meditation + Journaling) calls every Monday.
I started doing these calls to help us all keep showing up no matter how messy things get because have you noticed how messy the world is right now?
I'm so grateful for everyone who is showing up and Co-Dreaming with me. This is so special.
I will keep posting the replays here on my blog. If you want to attend live, register here to get the Zoom details emailed to you.
Dream Book members:
Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.
Get your next Dream Book lesson.
Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are.
Check out the calendar of upcoming calls.
Note: This is a post about my daily practice with my Creative Dreams - I often link to the tools, courses and processes I use which are available to Dream Book members. If you're not a member, find out more + join us here.
On Fridays I do my Dream Status Report which is a series of prompts I use every week to help me have more clarity, momentum and groundedness on my path. You can do them with me (Dream Book members: come post yours in the forum!)!
I know doing the same prompts every week can it's annoying sometimes but I promise - this is magically clarifying. The repetition helps you go deeper into the process and makes it easier to LEARN from your process as you go, and the apply those learnings right away.
Here are the prompts:
PART ONE: (sometimes these can stay the same for months at time, sometimes they change often)
My dream is:
I want it because:
When I have it I will feel:
PART TWO:
Invite your dream in (using the Dream Lab practice) to help you with the rest of the prompts.
PART THREE:
My goal/wish/intention for this New Moon is:
Last week’s focus was:
What happened in the last week?
What am I learning/How do I feel about this?
What do I need now?
What does my dream need now?
Taking all of this into account, my focus for the next week is:
My Dream Status Report for this week:
PART ONE:
My dream is: I am re-doing all of this and still in the process of figuring it out. It feels SO VULNERABLE and WEIRD to not have any answers right now, but if we always know where we're going, we can't get anywhere new.
I want it because:
When I have it I will feel:
PART TWO: Invite your dream in (using the Dream Lab practice) to help you with the rest of the prompts.
I CAN still invite the soul of my dream in, even though I don't know the specifics of what the dream is right now - like I know it exists, I just can’t see it yet.
My dream shows up as Sinead O’Connor, reaching down from the heavens. (I have been listening to her music nonstop) Her hand touches my shoulder and I feel creative courage. And the KNOWING that, when you are forging your own path, OF COURSE sometimes you don’t know what’s next. You can’t! It’s not laid out for you. These times are vital.
PART THREE:
Last week’s focus was: Stay in the process.
What happened in the last week?
It feels a bit like a whirlwind. My husband is off work for a month which changes my routines. And my new table is all set up, I re-arranged my whole workspace for it, and I am still getting used to that. Still figuring out what to have on my desk, and what to have in the drawers beside it because I’m used to having drawers as the legs of the desk.
I got stuck yesterday as I shared, but then working with that stuck scared part of me seems to have freed something. Had a very creative day after that and now I’m feeling grounded and confident.
Like I am not sure what I want my next steps to look like but I am sure I am ready for them.
What am I learning/How do I feel about this?
Like - getting my new desk set up, figuring out how I want things to be, having the end be in sight of this journal project and looking at what’s next - I am learning how to set myself up for my next steps in being the artist + writer I want to be.
’’Whatever it may bring
I will live by my own policies
I will sleep with a clear conscience
I will sleep in peace”
Sinead O’Connor from the Emperor’s New Clothes
I think I listened to this enough as a teenager that it seeped into my pores but right now I am finding the next layer in it. I don’t have words for it yet but it feels delicious.
What do I need now?
The Monday Co-Dreaming Call and my Dream work this week keeps saying: REST. I am going to trust that.
What does my dream need now?
TRUST
Taking all of this into account, my focus for the next week is:
REST and TRUST. Oh wow, putting them together as a goal like that feels SO GOOD.
Dream Book members:
Come to the forum to share your Dream Status Report or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.
Get your next Dream Book lesson.
Check out the calendar of upcoming calls.
Last night I wrote in my planner: Why is my journal project stalled?
I’ve started writing QUESTIONS in my planner. This feels revolutionary. Since our Structure Habits Routines explorations I’ve been more consistent about using my planner, and more creative about how I use it.
I have permission now: it doesn’t have to look like my pre-pandemic planners looked like. I’m not that plan-happy person anymore.
I do write in what I want to do each day. I draw my meditations from the Monday Co-Dreaming calls, to hold that energy with me all week. I write out goals for the week for my journal project and track my progress.
And that - tracking the progress - feels SO helpful.
Because I can see right now that progress is slowing.
It FEELS stalled, progress is still happening but not like it was.
So - what’s up with that?
I sit with it and see there are:
- My feelings about the project
- My feelings about the process
- The other projects that are tapping me on the shoulder and asking for attention
The thing that stands out is:
A week ago I felt THRILLED by this whole thing. I loved the way the pages look, I love what the pages say.
This week I feel UNCERTAIN about the whole thing. I am second-guessing some of the artwork AND writing.
And I feel SCARED about feeling UNCERTAIN. It sparks new questions:
What if this sucks?
What if I suck?
What if I’ve been on the wrong path with this? This has been SO LONG in the making!
What if all of my other ideas suck too?
OK so now I see we are definitely in Un-Sticking Station territory!
Bringing the fear into the Un-Sticking Station:
It’s a bug of some kind. I want to say praying mantis but I don’t know anything about praying mantis including who they look. But it’s standing with it’s arms in prayer pose.
It’s in a cave-like place, with light coming from behind it. Feels sacred and safe.
Why are you here?
This is my safe space.
Why are you upset?
You disturbed my safe space.
Ahhhh I see.
This project is too scary - I mean this particular journal but also the whole move to doing ALL the journal ideas you have. BUYING NEW MARKERS FOR IT!!!!
The markers scared you?
You invested in this.
I’ve invested so much time already, that’s way more than the value of the markers.
Yeah true I guess that happens incrementally and the markers was this thing I could see. It woke me up.
So you’re ok with me investing in this project incrementally?
I was, but I was always going to get upset if it got a place where you would actually SHARE IT WITH THE WORLD.
I mean, THE WHOLE WORLD is not paying attention to me. I was going to share it with the people who are paying attention to me. These are people who already like/support my work.
People could hate-follow you.
Wow, you live in a sacred cave and you know about hate-following?
I hear things in here!
OK, but if anyone hate-follows me then that’s their thing, that has nothing to do with me, right? They’re not going to buy this journal. My work isn’t for them. So aren’t they irrelevant?
Yeah but they might DO something.
Like what? Tell me I suck?
Yeah.
You’re already doing that though?
Bug bursts into tears.
I give it a hug.
Listen, sweetheart, I love you. I mean - you live here in this safe scared cave because I made this space for you where you don’t have to be so present in the scary world, right? Like, that cave shows the healing work we’ve done together over the years, doesn’t it?
Yeah, I love it here. But I’m scared that this new project might crack a hole in the cave.
Oh, I see. Yes that’s a valid fear.
It is!!!
But telling me I suck isn’t a valid way to handle it.
No, you’re right.
So what are we going to do? I really want to go back to feeling excited and inspired about this project.
I guess we keep doing what we’ve always done. You want to do the things you want to do, and deep down I want that for you too, so I’ll let you know when it gets too scary for me and we can reinforce the walls.
I do want to keep doing what we’ve always done, as it giving you space to have your feelings but “reinforcing the wall” feels a bit off. Like - what if I can help you feel more brave and sure and safe WITHOUT thicker walls? What if we could even let some sunlight in here? It feels like you’ve been in a healing cocoon and that’s fantastic but also - is it really forever? Is it time for some…
The bug cuts me off and is immediately out in a meadow of flowers.
I can be safe here! I feel safe! But also I can breathe out here.
The bug is not a praying mantis anymore. I’m not sure what it is. It’s setting up a hammock attached to wildflowers.
Ha! In Monday’s Co-Dreaming call on How Easy Can It Be my dream showed me that it was strong enough for me to string a hammock to it and rest.
I was going to take the day off and go to the beach. I usually go to the beach at least once a week in the summer and I haven’t been there once. Then I decided - the heat is exhausting this year I know being in the water is refreshing but everything else? I don’t actually want to.
But what if I lay around inside in air conditioning and read books?
This is NOT the answer I was looking for about why the journal project is stuck but I am going to trust it for today, and come back to this tomorrow.
It seems logical to me that my fear needing a day of rest today IS the thing that can help me re-connect with the magic of this project and create a more creative day tomorrow.
UPDATE:
After writing this I wanted to open the program where I have the artwork for this project... and I was inspired! Things felt good! The things that didn't feel good - I had ideas for what to change. I had written this post in a coffee shop and spent TWO MORE HOURS there drawing! Back in the flow!
The Un-Sticking Station is not always this fast, but I sure appreciate when it is.
Exploring your Post-Pandemic self is today!
This is for Dream Book members only - get the call details here.
Dream Book members:
Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with. Or go to the Structure Habits Routines class (it's staying there so you can go through the prompts in your own time)
Get your next Dream Book lesson.
Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab which is what I am using for my dream meeting drawings.
Check out the calendar of upcoming calls.
Note: This is a post about my daily practice with my Creative Dreams - in these posts I often link to the tools, courses and processes I use which are only available to Dream Book members. If you're not a member, find out more + join us here.
It feels like there is so much happening INSIDE that there is no space for anything to happen on the OUTSIDE.
I did a Dream Meeting and got this:
My dream is a chrysalis in a ball of light.
I spelled chrysalis wrong and I just want to say - spelling and grammar are COMPLETELY IRRELEVANT in journaling. Trying to follow those kinds of external rules can pull you out of listening to your inner voice, you just need to understand what you wrote, it doesn't need to win a spelling competition.
It feels beautiful and hopeful and SO FUCKING VAGUE.
I want more clarity but it's just not here.
Trying to accept both the frustration for more clarity and the fact that now is not the time for clarity.
Exploring your Post-Pandemic self is tomorrow!
This is for Dream Book members only - get the call details here.
Dream Book members:
Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with. Or go to the Structure Habits Routines class (it's staying there so you can go through the prompts in your own time)
Get your next Dream Book lesson.
Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab which is what I am using for my dream meeting drawings.
Check out the calendar of upcoming calls.
Note: This is a post about my daily practice with my Creative Dreams - in these posts I often link to the tools, courses and processes I use which are only available to Dream Book members. If you're not a member, find out more + join us here.
I'm trying to think of a delicate way to say this but maybe it just needs to be said awkwardly:
We're too judgy!!!
We have a really fucked up "standard" for how we think things, and people, should be.
This is wayyyyy worse in the holistic wellness/new age/life your best life communities than it is elsewhere, but it's everywhere.
Positive is better than negative.
Confidence is better than doubt.
Healthy is better than sick or disabled.
High energy is better than tired.
WE NEED TO GIVE OURSELVES THE GRACE OF HAVING OUR FULL AND ACTUAL HUMAN EXPERIENCE.
Pushing yourself to always be positive and productive can lead to greater success in capitalism but allowing yourself to BE who you ARE helps you have WHOLENESS.
It gives your magic.
And yes - I'm talking about how we apply these things to ourselves but of course this is a mirror for the culture we live in and the ways that people who don't or can't conform are treated.
There is magic in allowing the diversity of human experience.
Out in the world - it would actually change everything if we valued ALL people equally, and made space for ALL ideas. A world that works for everyone!
Inside ourselves - it would actually change everything if we valued ALL of our thoughts and feelings, and made space to feel and acknowledge them because that would totally change the ideas we'd have about how to navigate our path.
I see it all the time in Dream Book. We start with an uncomfortable feeling, and it's like "no this isn't how I want to feel, this isn't how I want things to be" but by being with that feeling and allowing our actual experience, we see a totally new way to proceed.
And it feels like magic every time but I think that's just because our culture is TRASH so we've become accustomed to TRASH.
It's not magic - it's how being alive actually is when we allow all aspects of ourselves.
This shoving feelings down, denying our desires, trying to conform to capitalist, colonialist, white supremacist culture - that's not healthy for anyone.
This is sparked from our Co-Dreaming call yesterday about How EASY can it be?
About all the different responses:
- I could get support so that I can DO THE THING!!
- I could rest.
- I could make more space for my feelings.
- I could trust what's already here rather than look at how to create more...
And how beautiful it was to be in a space where everyone's ideas were given space. We weren't looking for THE ONE RIGHT WAY for everyone to make things easier. We were making space for our own truth, sharing our truth, and being inspired and encouraged by each other.
I noticed how the vibe is soooo different from a lot of the Wellness/New Age/Live Your Best Life communities where this is this PRESSURE to find and do THE RIGHT THINGS.
Where you get judged, usually in subtle ways but not always, for "being negative" or being poor or disabled or fat or sick.
Where the idea is that you're doing it wrong if you're not manifesting a life that looks like what dominant culture says your life should look like: productive, successful, organized, cheerful.
I feel sorry for the people who are still in all of that.
And I feel so grateful for everyone who is doing this work with me.
If you didn't see it - watch yesterday's Co-Dreaming call here.
Exploring your Post-Pandemic self is Thursday!
A deep dive into exploring what's changed and what wants to change now.
This is for Dream Book members only - get the call details here.
Dream Book members:
Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with. Or go to the Structure Habits Routines class (it's staying there so you can go through the prompts in your own time)
Get your next Dream Book lesson.
Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab which is what I am using for my dream meeting drawings.
Check out the calendar of upcoming calls.
Note: This is a post about my daily practice with my Creative Dreams - in these posts I often link to the tools, courses and processes I use which are only available to Dream Book members. If you're not a member, find out more + join us here.
I'll be doing these live Co-Dreaming calls every Monday until Aug 28.
Watching these videos all summer WILL get you seeing, and feeling, your dreams in new ways.
The replays will all be here on my blog. If you want to attend live, register here to get the Zoom details.
Dream Book members:
Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.
Get your next Dream Book lesson.
Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are.
Check out the calendar of upcoming calls.
Note: This is a post about my daily practice with my Creative Dreams - I often link to the tools, courses and processes I use which are available to Dream Book members. If you're not a member, find out more + join us here.
On Fridays I do my Dream Status Report which is a series of prompts I use every week to help me have more clarity, momentum and groundedness on my path. You can do them with me (Dream Book members: come post yours in the forum!)!
I know doing the same prompts every week can it's annoying sometimes but I promise - this is magically clarifying. The repetition helps you go deeper into the process and makes it easier to LEARN from your process as you go, and the apply those learnings right away.
Here are the prompts:
PART ONE: (sometimes these can stay the same for months at time, sometimes they change often)
My dream is:
I want it because:
When I have it I will feel:
PART TWO:
Invite your dream in (using the Dream Lab practice) to help you with the rest of the prompts.
PART THREE:
My goal/wish/intention for this New Moon is:
Last week’s focus was:
What happened in the last week?
What am I learning/How do I feel about this?
What do I need now?
What does my dream need now?
Taking all of this into account, my focus for the next week is:
My Dream Status Report for this week:
PART ONE:
My dream is: I am re-doing all of this and still in the process of figuring it out. It feels SO VULNERABLE and WEIRD to not have any answers right now, but if we always know where we're going, we can't get anywhere new.
I want it because:
When I have it I will feel:
PART TWO: Invite your dream in (using the Dream Lab practice) to help you with the rest of the prompts.
I CAN still invite the soul of my dream in, even though I don't know the specifics of what the dream is right now - it feels like the wisest most expansive part of me that is always guiding me to what is true for me.
It shows up as a fairy godmother. With a puffy skirt, sparkly wand and tiara.
She gives me a big hug and reminds me that she’s always on my side. She puts her hand on my heart to offer healing (I am not having the best morning)
She sets out a picnic in a park. She’s like “hey there’s no rush, let’s have fun and enjoy the process”
PART THREE:
Last week’s focus was: DELIGHT and STRUCTURE - how to I structure my life and work so that DELIGHT is the main vibe?
What happened in the last week?
I did start to implement the things I learned about what kind of structure, routines and habits I need now. This does feel delightful!
But also - so many things happened that I don't understand yet.
What am I learning/How do I feel about this?
After so many years (at least 8) of doing these prompts every week, I just realized that I almost always have ANSWERS to these prompts. But this week I don't have a lot of answers.
I feel very much in process.
And, maybe this is what's new - I am not trying to direct the process. Like, there is being 100% in the flow and "whatever happens, happens", and then there is being 100% the creative director of your life and being VERY intentional, and I think my set-point between the two is changing.
I want to be less intentional about the outcomes and the "hows"
And more intentional about enjoying the process.
It seems so small to write it like that, but it feels like a big inner shift that's mid-shift and I can't understand it yet.
What do I need now? I have no idea!
But the new table I ordered arrived today, and it took me most of the afternoon to put it together (with breaks).
So now my room has this new table, plus the old table, plus packing materials everywhere. Sometimes a dream lands in our life and makes a huge mess!
(My plan was to keep the old table up here, but move the book shelf (about the size of a large table) downstairs, but now that it's here I might keep all there? I don't know. I just know I'm not doing anything else with it today)
What does my dream need now?
For me to stay in this place, of not knowing and not trying-to-know-right-away.
Taking all of this into account, my focus for the next week is:
Stay in the process.
Dream Book members:
Come to the forum to share your Dream Status Report or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.
Get your next Dream Book lesson.
Check out the calendar of upcoming calls.
Yesterday I sat with what felt like heavy resistance, and just took one tiny step at a time, and got the first few pages of a brand new Dream Book set up.
I didn’t actually do that much, but it felt like a lot because of all of the resistance I had.
And - I didn’t actually do that much, but today when I sat down to my creative dream practice - I had a whole new Dream Book to play in!
I had a container to explore my new dreams!!
Which is vital because exploring new dreams is nebulous and vulnerable and awkward so it’s soooo easy for resistance to creep in and then take over.
So today I opened up my brand new container. And it felt empty but I had cut + pasted enough of the Dream Book printables that I had places to start. I had prompts and processes to work with and….
I saw the thing I’d been dancing around in my journaling and meditation for the last few weeks.
I have been in a shift from:
“I want to create my life as this amazing thing, to have my outer life reflect what I feel in my inner life - reflect my values and preferences.”
To
"Life IS this amazing thing! I just want to enjoy it”
Which doesn’t mean I think one of these approaches is better than the other one. And it doesn’t mean I think this is a permanent shift! We are alive and growing and so are our dreams, always.
I’m just noticing a shift in my own preference, a shift in what I feel called towards right now.
And I’d been feeling that shift for a while but only saw parts of it, like I know I want something to change but I don’t know what. And now I know what.
It can be so uncomfortable to sit with our dreams, to keep practicing creative dreaming, in the times when we don’t know exactly what our dreams are. It brings up so many uncomfortable feelings that we want to give up.
But we can’t find our way through by not showing up for the journey, you know?
I had so much fun this morning, journaling and exploring in my Dream Book. I have been journaling lately, but this morning it's like I was REALLY journaling, fully in it.
Dream Book members:
Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with. Or go to the Structure Habits Routines class (it's staying there so you can go through the prompts in your own time)
Get your next Dream Book lesson.
Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab which is what I am using for my dream meeting drawings.
Check out the calendar of upcoming calls.
Note: This is a post about my daily practice with my Creative Dreams - in these posts I often link to the tools, courses and processes I use which are only available to Dream Book members. If you're not a member, find out more + join us here.