Note: This is a post about my daily practice with my Creative Dreams - I often link to the tools, courses and processes I use which are available to Dream Book members. If you're not a member, find out more + join us here.
On Fridays I do my Dream Status Report which is a series of prompts I use every week to help me have more clarity, momentum and groundedness on my path. You can do them with me (Dream Book members: come post yours in the forum!)!
I know doing the same prompts every week can be annoying sometimes but this is magically clarifying. The repetition helps you go deeper into the process and makes it easier to LEARN from your process as you go, and the apply those learnings right away.
Here are the prompts:
PART ONE: (sometimes these can stay the same for months at time, sometimes they change often)
My dream is:
I want it because:
When I have it I will feel:
PART TWO:
Invite your dream in (using the Dream Lab practice) to help you with the rest of the prompts.
PART THREE:
My goal/wish/intention for this New Moon is:
Last week’s focus was:
What happened in the last week?
What am I learning/How do I feel about this?
What do I need now?
What does my dream need now?
Taking all of this into account, my focus for the next week is:
My Dream Status Report for this week:
PART ONE:
My dream is: Being the artist + writer I want to be. For a while now a lot has been shifting around how much/what kind of art I want to make and working on creating more nourishing/robust/lively local creative community. And right now I am in this liminal space after separating from my husband, so my dreams for this fall and winter are to really BE IN this space, and call in: quiet, calm, healing, space for all the feelings, serious self care, and lots of art projects. And I am also dreaming of having more structure and focus in my work life. Feeling clear about HOW I want to do things (I already know WHAT I want to do)
I want it because: Divorce is a new beginning. Of course there are a lot of uncomfortable feelings being stirred up but there are also all these new possibilities and I want to explore them, I want to explore who I can be next.
When I have it I will feel: Right now, because everything feels unsettled and uncertain, I'd love to feel a sense of stability.
My new moon intention: Healing and expansion.
PART TWO:
Invite your dream in (using the Dream Lab practice) to help you with the rest of the prompts.
It's a gentle, warm light. Feels soothing and reassuring.
PART THREE:
Last week’s focus was: I don't want to leave that "tap into the healing powers of glowing radiance" (from the week before) behind. I want that to be the "theme" or guiding light of being more committed to my practice, and going deeper into it. The words feel clunky but I feel how it feels and will follow that feeling.
What happened in the last week?
This was a hard week. SO MUCH RESISTANCE. SO MUCH FEAR. My step-son has been in the hospital for 5 weeks, it was such a shock when it happened, on top of the shock of my husband leaving, this week I feel like I started to accept a lot of this "like ok this is where we are". And then the state of the world being so heartbreaking too.
Though yesterday was a great day and I looooooved the Structure Habits Routines call we did, it felt so healing and helpful.
Oh! And I re-arranged my studio again. The last re-arrangement only felt good for a short time and I realized that I needed to move things around again. This re-arrangement feels much more spacious.
We got so creative about how we create structure and routine during that call. And then in the re-arrangement I was trying to figure out where to put my printer (the old place didn't make sense now) and I was going to put it in this place where I had my perfume. And it's like - why is my perfume even here? And where does my perfume want to be?
Well, my perfume wants to be on my new Dream Altar! Then whenever I go put it on, I connect with the soul of my dream and put on WITH INTENTION (beyond "I love this scent and want to smell like it all day"). Still working out the details, but making "putting on perfume" a part of connecting with my dreams and my intentions for the day feels really good.
What am I learning/How do I feel about this?
I did SO MUCH WORK with resistance and fear and here I am, having moved a lot of that. Everything feels lighter and more possible.
Also, all this work on structure, habits and routines had me wondering why I feel so lost in all of this - well I see it now - my spouse left. So much of my structure, habits and routines were connected to him. Of course it's daunting to re-build ALL OF IT at once. And it's also freeing to re-build it all in a way that suits only me and considers only my needs and preferences.
What do I need now?
Two weeks ago I wrote: Focus on self care. Work on creating the lists/structure/organization that make it easier to also do the things I want to do.
This is still the same. I am making progress but everything is a mess and it's taking the time it takes. And I am making progress around accepting that it's a mess.
What does my dream need now?
I go back into the meditation and the warm light of my dream envelops me in a hug. My dream just wants to support me.
Taking all of this into account, my focus for the next week is:
Focus on self care. Work on creating the lists/structure/organization that make it easier to also do the things I want to do.
Dream Book members:
Come to the forum to share your Dream Status Report or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.
Get your next Dream Book lesson.
Check out the calendar of upcoming calls.
This month we did 2 calls about structure, one for the Marketing as a Creative + Spiritual Practice series and one more general one.
I hadn't planned it that way - themes for the marketing calls come out of what people bring up on the calls. But it also happens that this month I am really working on structure.
This morning my practice was journaling. I went to a coffee shop with my journal to just explore. I know I want to be more structured, I know my routines and habits need an upgrade (hey there is the Habits Upgrade call if you’re looking at this too).
But with so much change and uncertainty in my life right now, this is all really hard for me to figure out.
I’d been avoiding doing this for a while, which is why I specifically took my journal out for coffee this morning.
And I made some good progress! Just getting everything out of my head and onto the paper it started to feel more clear.
Until I got to the part about structure in my business.
I started by exploring the idea of a organized and structured content schedule, which I have done in the past, but it felt sooooo uncomfortable.
So them I thought about - what if I just had different types of content I create, and then each week pick 3 of them or something like that?
That also got reallllly uncomfortable.
So, I’m taking the discomfort into the Un-Sticking Station.
First, I want to note that I feel the discomfort in the back of my head. It almost feels dangerous, like if I look at this more deeply I could damage my brain.
So I invite the discomfort in and it’s a little green being, standing in front of me.
Yeah, no, we can’t do this. (It has the voice of a stereotype of a male construction worker from New York City)
How come?
Oh super unsafe. We got structural problems here.
Structural problems? But I literally wrote “structure” at the top of this journal page, like I want to create a good structure.
No, you’ve got a bad structure.
Yeah. I mean I know that. I don’t really have ANY structure and I want it to be sturdy, safe, and supportive.
No it’s not safe to look at this.
Not safe to even LOOK? I mean that feels suspicious.
I mean I can’t help but see this interesting contract here. A construction worker would want to build a safe, solid structure. But the stereotypical man would want to avoid feelings at all costs, and may even believe that they are unsafe.
And there isn’t a way to build this structure without understanding why I have so many feelings about this.
I look back at the little green being.
Listen lady what can I tell you? It’s not safe. Work is at a standstill.
I am getting frustrated. I know damn well work is at a standstill.
How do we get back to work?
The little green being looks stumped. He actually looks sad.
This feels like a real conundrum.
We want the safe, sturdy structure but to get there, we have to build the structure without a structure. Is that why it’s so hard to get back to work?
He shows me - if you step on the foundation, you could slip at any time.
What would you slip into?
I lean over and look.
It seems like despair?
Oh lady, it’s a whole mess of feelings. We don’t want to get anywhere near any of it.
So you think we need to just never build here, ever? Like leave a sign for future generations to never build here either?
That seems extreme.
Maybe we need a despair expert?
Not someone’s who can help us avoid falling into despair, but someone who can get in there and clear it out?
Oh I’ve never heard of anyone doing that. The little green being is getting more uncomfortable.
I think they don’t work in the trades.
I think actually it might be me. That might be my job.
(Note: I typed that “might me by job” like my fingers couldn’t even claim this work)
This feels really different than it did when I started. I think I will leave it here, and make a date to look at the despair problem again.
Dream Book members:
Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.
Get your next Dream Book lesson.
Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.
Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.
Note: This is a post about my daily practice with my Creative Dreams - in these posts I often link to the tools, courses and processes I use which are only available to Dream Book members. If you're not a member, find out more + join us here.
I have so much resistance today
I want to lay in bed and read books.
But it’s not like - I genuinely don’t want to show up for my practice.
It’s like - there is a lot of discomfort all around.
So I am using the process For When You Are In Resistance.
And I want to say - I am the person who made this library of creative dream alchemy processes. I am the person who said “just do the thing that’s in front of you to do” which means - if you feel resistance then your next step is to work on your resistance, if you feel afraid then your next step is to meet with your fear….
AND
I feel so much resistance to working with my resistance!
I want to do what I want to do, not the thing that’s in front of me to do.
This doesn’t get easier.
I mean of course it does get easier. Years of experience help me know how to navigate this...
But here in the moment, with my feelings feeling so messy, it doesn’t feel any easier than it ever has.
So - knowing how to navigate the hard feelings gets easier. Actually having hard feelings remains hard.
So. I’m listening to the video. Hating it, lol.
My resistance is sharp tension in my shoulders.
A fog of frustration in my brain.
Oh there is so much sadness beneath that.
I stopped the recording 3 minutes in. I didn’t want to listen anymore I just wanted to be with my resistance.
I have a lot of grief about not having the energy to do all the things I want to do. I mean work things and personal things.
And then I my inner critic can come out and criticize me for not making better use of the energy I DO have.
And I feel so vulnerable to that criticism right now.
So many layers to this when I really sit with it.
I sit with all of these feelings for a while and then one idea emerges: make a loose schedule. A DOABLE schedule. Think through - what’s most important right now? What can wait for now?
WRITE IT DOWN because what I have written down, the project management app I use to run my business, is not do-able. It’s like I keep juggling in the moment which thing to do or not do. I need to step back, think it through.
NOT that a schedule is the answer to resistance. But for me having a schedule or feeling organized makes me so much calmer. And when I am calmer I can take tiny little steps.
I know yesterday I wrote about bullet journaling but the things I planned in that bullet journal page… they are not working.
Which doesn’t mean I did it wrong! I did it the way I could see to do it, and today I am learning that I need to do it differently, I am feeling all my feelings around it, and will try a different way.
This is what “build the path by taking steps” means. It’s not generally smooth.
Dream Book members:
Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.
Get your next Dream Book lesson.
Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.
Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.
Note: This is a post about my daily practice with my Creative Dreams - in these posts I often link to the tools, courses and processes I use which are only available to Dream Book members. If you're not a member, find out more + join us here.
I am using the weekly kits again.
I haven’t used them at all in the last few years.
Which is fine!
AND it’s fine (great actually!) to come back to using them.
The way I have been using my planner just doesn’t speak to me now. I use the calendar in my phone to keep track of appointments, events, etc. And at the start of each week I write them into the planner, which does feel good - it helps me get a sense of my week, emotionally.
But I don’t need a lot of space for each day, I am not tracking every to-do in there. Mostly I keep a list of what I want to do that week.
The detailed lists are all in Notion, my project management app for running my business. There is nothing I write in my planner that is not already somewhere else digitally. (I need everything to be stored digitally with reminders. This is so I don’t lose anything.)
And I LOVE to write out just one week at a time, BY HAND, because this helps me get a feel for my week.
Planning is where dreaming and doing meet.
The digital stuff is “this is what I am going to do”.
The weekly planning pages are “this is how I am going to do this little part of this, this week”
And so I’ve realised - I don’t need a planner with a bunch of space for each week. A journal page for each week is fine.
AND I’ve realised - I want to be doing more journaling journaling. Not Dream Booking (which is very intentional about what you want to get from the journaling you are doing) but the journaling I call “regular journaling” in Dream Book.
Regular journaling is just about sitting with your thoughts and feelings. Getting them out of your head. Looking at them on paper. Maybe digging deeper.
To me, journaling is quality time with yourself. I want to do more of that.
The journaling kits help with that. To give some structure and support.
So I am experimenting with a kind of hybrid of weekly planning and regular journaling, space to just BE with myself and get things out of my head where I can see them.
I don’t quite have the worlds for it yet, but it felt really good to experiment with it this week.
Dream Book members:
Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.
Get your next Dream Book lesson.
Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.
Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.
Note: This is a post about my daily practice with my Creative Dreams - in these posts I often link to the tools, courses and processes I use which are only available to Dream Book members. If you're not a member, find out more + join us here.
Note: This is a post about my daily practice with my Creative Dreams - I often link to the tools, courses and processes I use which are available to Dream Book members. If you're not a member, find out more + join us here.
On Fridays I do my Dream Status Report which is a series of prompts I use every week to help me have more clarity, momentum and groundedness on my path. You can do them with me (Dream Book members: come post yours in the forum!)!
I know doing the same prompts every week can be annoying sometimes but this is magically clarifying. The repetition helps you go deeper into the process and makes it easier to LEARN from your process as you go, and the apply those learnings right away.
Here are the prompts:
PART ONE: (sometimes these can stay the same for months at time, sometimes they change often)
My dream is:
I want it because:
When I have it I will feel:
PART TWO:
Invite your dream in (using the Dream Lab practice) to help you with the rest of the prompts.
PART THREE:
My goal/wish/intention for this New Moon is:
Last week’s focus was:
What happened in the last week?
What am I learning/How do I feel about this?
What do I need now?
What does my dream need now?
Taking all of this into account, my focus for the next week is:
My Dream Status Report for this week:
PART ONE:
My dream is: Being the artist + writer I want to be. For a while now a lot has been shifting around how much/what kind of art I want to make and working on creating more nourishing/robust/lively local creative community. And right now I am in this liminal space after separating from my husband, so my dreams for this fall and winter are to really BE IN this space, and call in: quiet, calm, healing, space for all the feelings, serious self care, and lots of art projects.
I want it because: Divorce is a new beginning. Of course there are a lot of uncomfortable feelings being stirred up but there are also all these new possibilities and I want to explore them, I want to explore who I can be next.
When I have it I will feel: Right now, because everything feels unsettled and uncertain, I'd love to feel a sense of stability.
My new moon intention: Treat this transition time I'm in as sacred.
PART TWO: Invite your dream in (using the Dream Lab practice) to help you with the rest of the prompts.
I'm trying to call in my dream and it's this same dynamic I keep exploring: am I dreaming of healing and self care or am I dreaming of the things I want to be doing? It's like a little see saw going back and forth and then this hand comes in, stops the see saw from moving and says "You can have both. There's plenty of time in a day for both!!"
Especially as putting healing and self care first does connect us more to our authenticity and creativity - the creating of things will come naturally.
PART THREE:
Last week’s focus was: Tapping into the healing powers of glowing radiance. I look forward to experimenting with this.
What happened in the last week?
No, I did not really experiment with it. What happened is we had Thanksgiving in Canada and I didn't realize how that would hit me - the first holiday without my husband and step-kids and it felt like it put my grief process back, but I know healing is not linear and everything is on time. It was a hard week.
AND
I launched the Creative Dream Playbook!
I mean, not a "real launch" I just put it out there and started talking about it and I'll keep sharing. I am really happy with this journal and it does feel good to put it out there!
What am I learning/How do I feel about this?
Mostly I feel acceptance about how this will take the time it takes. Sometimes I feel frustrated that things feel so heavy. And as always lately, my heart is breaking about the state of the world.
I am learning so much. SO MUCH! So many relationships patterns I have that I wasn't seeing - I see now.
What do I need now?
Last week I wrote: Focus on self care. Work on creating the lists/structure/organization that make it easier to also do the things I want to do.
This is still the same.
What does my dream need now?
My dream wants me to be EASIER with everything. Stop seeing that "self care and healing" can't co-exist with "creativity and doing and making things happen".
Again, I mean my dream has given me this advice about a million times before: DO MORE MEDITATION AND JOURNALING. BE DEEPER IN YOUR PRACTICE.
Taking all of this into account, my focus for the next week is:
I don't want to leave that "tap into the healing powers of glowing radiance" behind. I want that to be the "theme" or guiding light of being more committed to my practice, and going deeper into it.
The words feel clunky but I feel how it feels and will follow that feeling.
Dream Book members:
Come to the forum to share your Dream Status Report or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.
Get your next Dream Book lesson.
Check out the calendar of upcoming calls.
I was feeling pretty sensitive for Monday's Co-Dreaming call. The day before, we had Thanksgiving in Canada and I didn't realize how strange it would be to have my first holiday without my husband and step-kids there.
So I was feeling all the feels when I went into the meditation.
Then my creative dream garden wasn't exactly a garden. It was me, in outer space in a space suit. Holding a plant which was also in a space suit - it was so cute, it was in the big bubble helmet.
It was a but weird but felt ok.
Then I panicked a bit "but where are my other dreams?"
And then I saw them, and then I saw that my dream and I were attached to each other and also attached to the orbiting ship that my other dreams were inside. And then I saw that the earth was right there too, we weren't THAT far away.
I was safe, just far away from everything and all alone up here.
The little potted plant of a dream I had with me was the healing and growth I want for this transition time.
And then when we got to the journaling prompt part of the process, my dreams told me to stop going to coffee shops first thing in the morning. Don't even go for a bike ride. Have a slower start to the day - do that stuff later if I want.
I've been following those instructions and thinking a lot about this meditation this week.
By repeating the same meditation each week, you create space where your intuition and your dreams can send you messages. It's much harder to receive potent and helpful messages without the kind of space that consistent repetition creates.
I'm sinking into the FEELING from the meditation - beyond my original feelings that day when I was already unsettled and feeling very alone. It doesn't feel ALONE so much now, it feels like giving myself SPACE.
It feels really magical and I'm using this as my guide to set myself up for the winter season. Like stocking up on pantry items and materials for creative projects so I don't need to go out for things. How can I turn this winter into a healing creative retreat for myself?
Dream Book members:
Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.
Get your next Dream Book lesson.
Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.
Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.
Note: This is a post about my daily practice with my Creative Dreams - in these posts I often link to the tools, courses and processes I use which are only available to Dream Book members. If you're not a member, find out more + join us here.
I have declared that I am in a season of healing.
I've refined my dreams - the dreams I was working with are still there, but focusing on self care and healing feel more important right now. So there are the immediate dreams, and then the bigger long-term dreams. It feels really good to feel like this is "organized" somewhat.
My new slower morning routine feels so supportive of this.
I'm also doing a longer meditation - the Dream Lab but I usually stop the meditation when I'm in the Field of Creative Dream Alchemy, and just stay there. Feeling connected to myself and surrounded by support feels like the right place to spend some time.
Today in the meditation, everything was black and white and it felt animated, like everything in the field was hand-drawn art, and the art was moving and it felt so soothing and expansive. And I was crying, and my tears created a river and I knew that in the spring, I could build a raft and float down the river to my new life.
Writing this out it may seem depressing but it felt SO hopeful and healing.
Dream Book members:
Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.
Get your next Dream Book lesson.
Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.
Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.
Note: This is a post about my daily practice with my Creative Dreams - in these posts I often link to the tools, courses and processes I use which are only available to Dream Book members. If you're not a member, find out more + join us here.
I do switch up my routines somewhat when the seasons change. But right now, the weather is getting cooler AND I'm in this huge season of personal change with the separation from my husband and my step-son in the hospital.
I've been quieting my mind and letting my body guide me through this more than I usually do. As a result, I can't drink coffee in the morning, or on an empty stomach. I also don't eat until much later in the morning. My stomach just needs more time in the morning to adjust to the day before it starts working.
Making that cup of coffee and going into my studio. That was always the start of the routine.
Making a cup of herbal tea doesn't land in the same way. And decaf coffee is still too heavy for my stomach.
Sometimes when things change, we want to try to find the next most similar thing to replace it with.
Sometimes when things change, we need to figure out what else wants to change.
For me, this time, it's a whole new way of starting the day.
Today I did:
sleeping in - this was kind of disorienting but also needed, it was Thanksgiving this weekend and my first holiday without my husband was really hard.
aromatherapy - a supportive but also zingy fragrance
PAINTING in my journal not a lot of words
Following my brush around the page, just giving myself space to be and express. Having this really soft way to stat the day. This felt like THE THING I need now, instead of coffee + writing which used to be THE THING.
PS: October 18: Structure Habits Routines Zoom Call. This goes with the Structure Habits Routines journaling prompts we did a few months back, which are here.
Dream Book members:
Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.
Get your next Dream Book lesson.
Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.
Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.
Note: This is a post about my daily practice with my Creative Dreams - in these posts I often link to the tools, courses and processes I use which are only available to Dream Book members. If you're not a member, find out more + join us here.
The Creative Dream Playbook is here!
It's a collection of advice, encouragement and teachings that I have discovered in my 13+ years coaching creative people deeper into their dreams.
Plus some of my favourite journaling prompts and questions I always ask my clients.
So it's a guide, journal AND oracle.
You can work through the pages in order and fill in the journaling prompts AND you can flip to a random page any time you want to get a message about your dream.
It's 83 pages, adorably hand-drawn with bright, full colour artwork. Plus a black + white printable version with my artwork removed so you can add your own in.
>> Get it here.
Now on to Co-Dreaming! I'm offering these live Co-Dreaming (Meditation + Journaling) calls every Monday.
I started doing these calls to help us all keep showing up no matter how messy things get because have you noticed how messy the world is right now?
And together we've turned it into this really beautiful community dreaming together. I'm so grateful for everyone who is showing up and Co-Dreaming with me. This is so special.
Dream Book members:
Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.
Get your next Dream Book lesson.
Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are.
Check out the calendar of upcoming calls.
Note: This is a post about my daily practice with my Creative Dreams - I often link to the tools, courses and processes I use which are available to Dream Book members. If you're not a member, find out more + join us here.
On Fridays I do my Dream Status Report which is a series of prompts I use every week to help me have more clarity, momentum and groundedness on my path. You can do them with me (Dream Book members: come post yours in the forum!)!
I know doing the same prompts every week can be annoying sometimes but this is magically clarifying. The repetition helps you go deeper into the process and makes it easier to LEARN from your process as you go, and the apply those learnings right away.
Here are the prompts:
PART ONE: (sometimes these can stay the same for months at time, sometimes they change often)
My dream is:
I want it because:
When I have it I will feel:
PART TWO:
Invite your dream in (using the Dream Lab practice) to help you with the rest of the prompts.
PART THREE:
My goal/wish/intention for this New Moon is:
Last week’s focus was:
What happened in the last week?
What am I learning/How do I feel about this?
What do I need now?
What does my dream need now?
Taking all of this into account, my focus for the next week is:
My Dream Status Report for this week:
PART ONE:
My dream is: Being the artist + writer I want to be. Feeling really alive. I already have it AND it's an always-work-in-process... right now there is a lot shifting around how much/what kind of art I want to make and working on creating more nourishing/robust/lively local creative community.
I want it because: Divorce is a new beginning. Of course there is sadness but there are also all these new possibilities and I want to explore them, I want to explore who I can be next.
When I have it I will feel: The same as now - ALL the feelings 🙂 But, I think, more ALIVENESS. And right now, because everything feels unsettled and uncertain, I'd love to feel a sense of stability.
My new moon intention: Treat this transition time I'm in as sacred. (New Moon call was so good this month!!)
PART TWO: Invite your dream in (using the Dream Lab practice) to help you with the rest of the prompts.
I do feel a real sense of stability while sitting in the Field of Creative Dream Alchemy. Like this field has been here, my relationship with the field was here long before I met my husband. This is like - my relationship with me, which includes my relationship with my divine self and all of my magic and power. Even though my life FEELS like so much fell away, and really so much DID fall away, here I still feel a sense of wholeness.
The field is like water, though I sit on it and don't feel wet. But I can move my fingers through it and it makes ripples like water. There are stars above.
I stay here and savour it before inviting my dream to join me.
When I do invite my dream in, I have a hard time holding in my mind what I'm really dreaming of. But the soul of my dream shows up as the sun. A glorious sunrise and then a gorgeous day, everything is illuminated and I see I have everything I need to create anything I want next in my life.
PART THREE:
Last week’s focus was: Be gentle with myself AND intention about what I want to be doing.
What happened in the last week?
The Marketing as a Creative + Spiritual Practice call on structure was soooo good! I got frustrated in my explorations on the call with so much stuff coming up but I've been working through it and getting some clarity on what kinds of structures I want now in my work.
I also - I MEAN HOLY FUCK I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS BUT - I FINISHED THE CREATIVE DREAM PLAYBOOK!!!! (Just waiting for the proof copy to get to me before I can say for sure I don't need to adjust the colours)
I started working on this last winter and it was starting to feel like it would actually take forever to finish it. BUT that's because I was figuring out a lot of things - not just for this book but for the many (dozens?) more I want to create next. It feels like this one is a doorway.
Also - I was so sad so much of the time. My step-son continues to have complications that baffle the doctors. It's so weird going through this experience with Joseph when we're not together.
But somehow my sadness didn't take over everything. I mean "somehow" - I've been working SO HARD at self care and taking good care of my nervous system. I feel so grateful for that.
What am I learning/How do I feel about this?
I am learning next-level self care, especially around my nervous system regulation. I'm feeling ALL the feelings, but really noticing a sense of expansion. Like, this big thing is gone from my life and I can stretch out a bit. What parts of me want to take up more space now?
I think I had mentioned here, that we didn't finish moving J's stuff out of the loft. It was actually a really good self care move that I was proud of myself for, to say "let's not finish this last load today" because I needed to stop and rest.
But, honouring my needs in the moment doesn't magically bring me everything I want!!! I guess I hoped that it would. Because I was unhappy that it left me with the consequences of that decision - the couch and a few boxes still in the loft all this time.
Since everything is so up and down at the hospital, I couldn't plan a time with J to finish (the truck usually needs to be booked in advance) so I decided instead to take the couch apart (it's an IKEA daybed, none of the parts are heavy) and I booked the truck to move it myself tomorrow morning.
SO, once that is done, I'll have more open space in the loft to match the open space I am feeling in my life.
What do I need now?
Really more of the same. Focus on self care. Work on creating the lists/structure/organization that make it easier to also do the things I want to do.
What does my dream need now?
I hear the words: glowing radiance.
It feels like: remember how magic it feels in this meditation! Spend more time in this space!
Taking all of this into account, my focus for the next week is:
Tapping into the healing powers of glowing radiance. I look forward to experimenting with this.
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