Note: This is a post about my daily practice with my Creative Dreams - I often link to the tools, courses and processes I use which are available to Dream Book members. If you're not a member, find out more + join us here.
On Fridays I do my Dream Status Report which is a series of prompts I use every week to help me have more clarity, momentum and groundedness on my path. You can do them with me (Dream Book members: come post yours in the forum!)!
My Dream Status Report for this week:
PART ONE:
My dream is: I want to get an RV or camper van and travel… WITH MY CAT BEAR!!!! Create a comfy cozy home on wheels, and write + make art on the road while we have adventures.
I want it because: It feels so sweet and makes me happy.
When I have it I will feel: I think I will feel so happy, free and thrilled with my life.
PART TWO:
Invite the soul of your dream in (using the Dream Lab practice) to help you with the rest of the prompts.
My dream shows up as a light in my heart that feels like a healing and a breakthrough.
PART THREE:
Last week’s focus was: Do the work. And do all the things that help me be able to do the work.
What happened in the last week?
I really did DO THE WORK and also do the things that help me be able to do the work. Loads of self care and creative dream practicing and LOADS of outer work.
I launched the 10 day Creative Dream Journal Challenge! There is more I want to do with it but this is such a good step and I feel SO GOOD about it!
What am I learning/How do I feel about this?
I feel happy and proud and grateful I got this project done.
What do I need now?
To revel in it. I am taking this day off to relax. Journal, sew, rest and get connected to my Dream Self - the vision of me who is out there wildly promoting this creative dream challenge.
What does my dream need now?
The light in my heart glows. It's happy with what I am doing.
Taking all of this into account, my focus for the next week is:
Focus on my Dream Self who knows how to take these next steps.
Dream Book members:
Come to the forum to share your Dream Status Report or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.
Get your next Dream Book lesson.
Check out the calendar of upcoming calls.
Today my creative dream practice is too boring to write about. YAY! I did some journaling, have a list of things I want to do today, and am just... doing them!
So instead of sharing anything about that, I wanted to share a story from earlier in the month.
We had this "winter heat wave" in early February and I took the long way to the coffee shop - a 45 minute walk instead of 30. It felt magical to have such a warm morning walk.
This longer way also takes me down a much busier street. At one point, this man parked his car in the parking lot of a grocery store as I was walking past and RAN out of it down the sidewalk. I was watching him closely, wondering...
Is that grocery store open so early? I don't think so!
Is he watching for ice?! There are so many ice patches on the sidewalks, I hope he doesn't fall! (I'm walking so slow and careful)
Then, he ran right past the grocery store, now I'm wondering... Where is he going in such a rush?
I giggle to myself thinking maybe he is RUNNING SO FAST to get to the new cat cafe. He really needs to pet a cat. But no, the cat cafe doesn't open until later and he runs right past it.
I decide he must be going to the little cheque cashing/cash advance place on the corner. Maybe he needs quick cash and he's late for work.
He runs right past the cheque cashing place and now I am really invested. Like, how far is he going to run?
He goes into a building I thought was vacant and I when I get to it I see a sheet of paper taped to the door that says something like:
Universal Gathering of Faith and Miracles. Tuesday mornings.
I still had 15 minutes of my walk to think about this.
I was so invested in his journey, why?
Was it to show me - I should always RUN to get to a miracle?
Was it to remind me that the miracles are gathering?
I think they are.
Dream Book members:
Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.
Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.
Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.
Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.
The February Marketing as a Creative + Spiritual Practice call is today! Dream Book members - get the call details here. Everyone else - join us here!
These are the journal prompts I got in this week’s Journaling + Alchemy kit (from Dream Book):
What part of you feels too small for your dream?
What does this part of you need?
AHHHHH yes these are the questions I need right now.
In a practical sense, “my dream” is the dream I shared of getting a camper van or RV and traveling with Bear but that would mean a bunch of things sorted out in my life to make this happen including money.
(Dream Book members see the call: Having A Stable Relationship With Money While The World Is Unstable)
And, right now, my dreams include BEING IN the transformative healing vortex that is getting a divorce.
So… it’s all of this that I am thinking about as I ask this question. Which parts feel ready? Which parts don't? Why don't they?
We almost always have parts of us that feel too small for our dreams.
This is because our dreams are here to GROW us. Like an elm seed isn’t meant to stay an elm seed forever, it’s meant to become a seedling and then a tree.
But of course growth feels scary for so many reasons. So parts of us will resist growth even when we know for sure it’s leading to what we want!
For most people, all of this is unconscious.
For people who are deeply engaging with their dreams, it’s more conscious.
And it’s hard to engage with this fear because… fear is scary!
But. Sitting with it is SO GOOD because there ARE ways to take care of the parts of you that feel too small for your dream, and doing that will open up new possibilities for what you can do.
AND, more often than not, if you really sit with this part of you you'll find that they DO want what you want, they're just afraid of some part of it. And once you have all parts of you on board, it's so much easier to move forward.
Dream Book members:
Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.
Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.
Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.
Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.
I first did a Marketing as a Creative + Spiritual Practice call as an experiment in November 2022.
Now it's a call we do every month in Dream Book!
Since we have a call tomorrow, I'm trying to write a post about this and I can't.
So, in the spirit of Marketing as a Creative + Spiritual Practice, I will write (creative practice) about my truth (spiritual practice):
I'm super stuck today.
This is not the whole truth of who I am and where I am but it's where I am right in this moment.
I am excited about the work I have to do today!
But my heart is in KNOTS and I can't do the things I want to do.
Our practice HAVE TO include these days, too.
Remember the compass of Creative Dream Alchemy.
If you can't do Outer Work, you can do Dream Work or Inner Work.
And I feel too tangled up for Dream Work, I know Inner Work is what is needed.
So I am taking my knotted up heart into the Un-Sticking Station practice:
Oh, it's so sad. A floating, disembodied heart that's crying.
I notice we're in a room with a fireplace, so I light a fire and make my heart a cup of tea and sit it down on a soft couch.
I wrap a blanket around it. I want to offer it ALL the nurturing.
"Do you want a cookie?"
I would LOVE a cookie.
I bring my heart a cookie.
"So tell me what's going on"
Oh! (Heart starts crying again) It's all too much!
"Oh you are so right! It's ALL too much." And I get the sense that we shouldn't write about all the things in the world that are TOO MUCH we should just take a minute a FEEL it.
We take a few deep breaths together.
The knots slip out of my heart.
We can't solve anything. We can show up as best we can to create the world we want to see, but we, alone, cannot solve anything. But taking a minute to have a cookie, breath deep, and acknowledge how terrifying the world is to be in right now does help.
"OK so, now that I have given you space to un-knot, the day I had planned feels inappropriate for the space you are in"
Oh yeah for sure. I mean - I don't want to sabotage your goals and plans! AND I am where I am.
This has been a BIG topic on our group calls lately.
How to find a balance between all the inner work we need to do in order to be able to do the outer work we want to do.
And how it can feel like if we gave our inner worlds all the care and attention they need, then we literally wouldn't have the time or energy left to take care of anything in the outer world.
And how our inner worlds really do need us to have some stability and order in our outer worlds!
And this has always been true in a sense. It takes A LOT of inner work grow beyond where you, to grow towards where you want to be. But the impact of the current state of the world, on top of that, has really shifted the balance.
So. Back to me and my heart.
I want to do what you want to do. I am 100% on board.
"That is a relief to know you are on board with my plan. But I sense a but..."
But right now, today, I need the gentlest possible day. Can we remember that we ARE in a peri-menopausal situation where we should be getting our period but instead we are getting anxiety attacks?
"I want to just "deep breath" the anxiety away."
And if you could do that, it would be gone by now. This is not in your head. This is not a small problem. You know damn well peri-menopase is the time when women are the most likely to commit suicide and this is largely driven by how fucking un-supportive the whole world is about what we go through at this time. So it is IMPERATIVE that you be ultra-supportive of yourself.
(Not that I am having suicidal thoughts, my heart is just driving home a point, that this isn't some small inconvenience)
"OK I am hearing that you don't want to do what I had planned to do today. What, exactly, do you want to do today?"
Mediate + maybe nap if you fall asleep. Journal.
Oh wow that reminds me that I put into my journal from this week's journaling kit: What part of you feels too small for your dream? What does this part of you need?
I will work on those prompts. I will LIGHTLY hold onto what I wanted to do today while honouring the actual state of my heart. Take care of myself first, and then see what feels possible.
[Update: YES! After a long meditation thinking about what I want to accomplish with this project, I did start VERY gently and without any pressure did get a bunch of things done]
Our next Marketing as a Creative + Spiritual Practice call is tomorrow.
Dream Book members - get the call details here. Everyone else - join us here!
Topic: Drawing out a "dream map" of how you would love marketing to work in your business (continued from our last call where we first made a map)
Dream Book members:
Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.
Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.
Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.
Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.
This is the mantra I got in this week’s Dream Book journaling + alchemy kit: I have everything I need to do anything I want
OK wow as I am writing this, I am listening to this song. So perfect! (Success, expanded version, by Beautiful Chorus)
This is another one of the mantras that I believe is usually true.
Often we’re looking at what we wish we had, in terms of supports for our dreams, instead of using what we DO have.
I wrote this mantra in my journal with my weekly business check-in and my list of things I want to do. And it all felt so good when I wrote it. This mantra is such a healing balm for me... and yet...
I had not had a week go this OFF in a while, lol.
Like, none of the things I planned ended up being what happened.
And when I look at my list, and read this mantra, it’s like WTF?
And it feels like… trust the process.
Weekly planning is so good! (Dream Book members check out the: Creative Genius Planning Sessions and Dream Plan Kit)
AND forcing ourselves to follow through on every plan is not good.
So some weeks turn out like this.
I think it’s important to notice - are there particular tasks that ALWAYS end up undone? What’s going on there? (Take it into the Un-Sticking Station to explore it.)
But if once in a while your whole list is just a disaster? Maybe just accept that this is a part of the process? And ask:
Am I sure these are the right tasks?
Where/why am I resisting doing these things?
What would help make it easier to get this stuff done next week?
Dream Book members:
Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.
Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.
Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.
Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.
Note: This is a post about my daily practice with my Creative Dreams - I often link to the tools, courses and processes I use which are available to Dream Book members. If you're not a member, find out more + join us here.
On Fridays I do my Dream Status Report which is a series of prompts I use every week to help me have more clarity, momentum and groundedness on my path. You can do them with me (Dream Book members: come post yours in the forum!)!
My Dream Status Report for this week:
PART ONE:
My dream is: I want to get an RV or camper van and travel… WITH MY CAT BEAR!!!! Create a comfy cozy home on wheels, and write + make art on the road while we have adventures.
I want it because: It feels so sweet and makes me happy.
When I have it I will feel: I think I will feel so happy, free and thrilled with my life.
PART TWO:
Invite the soul of your dream in (using the Dream Lab practice) to help you with the rest of the prompts.
My dream shows up as a tree on a warm day. The leaves are sparkling where the sun hits.
PART THREE:
Last week’s focus was: Give myself space to feel and process and heal and trust in the magic of my dreams and the beauty of my future.
What happened in the last week?
This was another rough week on the divorce front. And a lot of resistance about that. My new life is taking shape in front of me, I am happy and excited about this so I'd like to not have any thoughts or feelings about the divorce, lol.
But, again, I remind myself - I want to BE WITH all parts of me, all the thoughts and feelings, give them space to process and release and be able to move into my future not holding onto anything from this, except the growth and learning.
I remembered how my husband and I knew our relationship was sacred, and talked about the ways it was healing us. I want to believe in this - how if the marriage was sacred then the divorce must be too. That changes my whole experience of this time - it's like a vortex of healing and transformation. When I can hold onto that perspective, everything shifts. So I want to keep learning how to hold onto it WITHOUT denying or pushing away my actual feelings in the moment. It's this constant tightrope walk.
BUT IN THE REST OF MY LIFE THINGS ARE SO GOOOOOD!!!
I'm working on a new free class - it's a creative dream challenge. I feel SO excited about it as a way of introducing people to my work and I LOVE that feeling of LOVING the ways my ideas are coming together.
I am co-working with a new friend who is a huge inspiration to me. I joined a craftivism group and am meeting them this weekend. The days are getting so much longer and our winter was frighteningly short and warm (the river I usually skate on barely froze over - the slate paths were only open for a few days this year!!!) and it feels like spring now.
What am I learning/How do I feel about this?
I have been giving myself SO MUCH MORE SPACE to process and feel and think and this has been so good. I am filling journal pages and just, not learning anything really but appreciating the magic of feeling more connected to all parts of me.
What do I need now?
As I sit with this question I just feel so grateful that I have been so good at figuring out what I need, and giving it to myself.
What does my dream need now?
I check in with the tree. It needs water, and a little fertilizer. It's already got plenty of sunshine.
This feels like it's asking me to "do the work". Like - the tree can't water itself. I get it.
Taking all of this into account, my focus for the next week is:
Do the work. And do all the things that help me be able to do the work.
Dream Book members:
Come to the forum to share your Dream Status Report or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.
Get your next Dream Book lesson.
Check out the calendar of upcoming calls.
And if you are reading this - you are too.
Do you know how many people read what I write can’t make any sense it?
You get it because you are a visionary, healer + witch too.
I want to acknowledge how powerful it is that you keep showing up.
The path to a dream is LONG. And you are doing it!
I share my daily steps here, sometimes I go in circles, sometimes I am stuck, sometimes I have brilliant insights, sometimes it’s incredibly boring, sometimes just really weird.
And we all know - this is what it’s like.
But somehow we all have the idea that… it’s easier for other people and it should be easier for us. The path should be linear. Every step we take should make sense. We should be more productive and cheerful. We should be moving faster.
None of that is true.
You’re still here.
You are doing amazing.
I’m cheering for you.
If you need help figuring out your next steps - let me know! Tell me what’s going on and I can suggests tools + classes from Dream Book to work with. Or if you’re not in Dream Book, join us here!
Dream Book members:
Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.
Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.
Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.
Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.
I keep noticing this about my divorce - I am frustrated with myself for marrying the “wrong” person.
I’m asking - how did it feel so RIGHT to marry him when obviously it was a big mistake? Why didn’t I know better?
And these are all such un-helpful questions.
But underneath them is this big raging fear that I’ve been needing to sit with:
Can I trust the way I make decisions?
Because it DID feel SO RIGHT to marry him and this is where that led me so… do I stop doing things that feel SO RIGHT out of fear that everything will blow up in my face?
Now - all FEELINGS and REACTIONS to feeling are VALID and all but they are not TRUE.
And while I’ve been sitting with this feeling because it keeps coming back to me I know that actually I didn’t do anything wrong.
A lot of traumatic things happened to my partner before and while we were together. And his increasing reliance on alcohol to cope with that trauma changed him dramatically and altered what kind of relationship was possible.
None of that is on me.
AND just because it did all blow up in my face, does that mean I shouldn’t have done it?
Is it a GOAL or a DREAM of mine to never have things go wrong?
Because YIKES! The kind of control you need to try to exert over the universe to avert all disaster is not appealing to me at all.
So.
If I am listening to my own truth, accepting that things happened the way they happened is the only way.
AND
This is hard.
This isn’t just about my divorce.
I’ve worked with SO MANY PEOPLE who followed their dreams and it made a huge mess in their lives.
This does happen. It IS a thing.
There is risk in following a dream! Not because dreams are inherently risky, but because our culture doesn't support us in being our true selves. Our culture rewards conformity, the people who conform the most AND have the most intersections of privilege are going to be the safest.
Following a dream is a risk and doesn’t always pay off.
I mean there is lots to be said about how failure is inevitable, it teaches us and helps us along the path, and we need to normalize the idea that things WILL fall apart and we WILL create something new from the ashes.
But most people feel alone in this, because no one is talking about it.
Everyone is out there sharing little quotes about healing and courage and following your dreams and no one is sharing quotes about being in the mess that’s left when it all blows up in your face.
But this is a part of it.
Nothing is forever. Relationships. Businesses. Careers. Our health and our lives!
So, these questions that are coming up for me about CAN I TRUST THE WAY I MAKE DECISIONS? CAN I TRUST MY DREAMS? are not actually questions, they are fears.
Totally valid things to feel.
I am sifting through a LOT of different conflicting feelings right now. And I want to validate and FEEL them all… but not let them make decisions for me.
Your dreams may blow up in our face and make a huge mess in your life and this does not mean that you did anything wrong.
Shit happens!
You are a creative genius and you can make magic out whatever life throws your way.
Dream Book Resources:
Two processes for working with disappointment + the whole inner work library
Dream Book members:
Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.
Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.
Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.
Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.
I woke up this morning feeling AMAZING. Suddenly I had a dream: getting a little camper van and going on trips with Bear. (This is brand new, there is lots of research to do, maybe a camper van or an RV or a trailer, I don’t know!)
Writing and making art and having little adventures. Traveling AND being at home!! (Or, a tinier version of home)
It felt sooooo goooooood. Magical and light, setting of little sparks in my heart.
Dreaming is a function of healing. Just like healing is a function of dreaming.
I’ve been in another really hard part of my divorce process.
Since our separation I’ve been grieving the dreams and plans I had for my future with him, and how so many of them don’t feel right or seem possible on my own or with someone else.
And I haven’t had anything to replace any of that with.
And I haven’t WANTED to have anything to replace any of that with because taking the time to be with the loss and be in the unknown is vital for healing and healing is vital for creating a better future.
So, waking up with a brand new dream that feels so warm and light in my heart is really everything.
It’s bittersweet because it’s a reminder of what I lost and all the ways my former partner let me down.
But it’s mostly a bright light showing me that my best life is still ahead of me.
Having a THING I REALLY REALLY WANT feels so good!!!! YAY CREATIVE DREAMS!
That’s the end of this post, but… I am writing so much right now, so I wanted to share something I had written previously that I hadn’t shared:
The dreams I was working towards have died. The life I was planning with my husband is over.
So what now?
I don’t know.
When we first split up, I instantly dreamed of a healing cocoon and did what I could to turn this transitional time into that.
And now, I’m stepping out of the healing cocoon and it’s a shock out here. I don’t know where to go. I don’t know what’s next.
It’s not like me to not know what I want, so that feels disorienting. But I don’t want to rush and pick something. I want to really dig in here and explore what feels possible now.
So I’m going to set up an art picnic, right here where I am.
Make some art. Figure it out.
Some prompts:
What do I wish for?
What am I dissatisfied with?
What do I want more of?
What do I want less of?
What are the little things that bring me joy?
And some Dream Book resources:
Dream Book members:
Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.
Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.
Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.
Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.
This is the mantra I got in this week’s Dream Book journaling + alchemy kit: I trust my magic.
HOLY CRAP this is exactly the mantra I needed.
I've also been using "I am a powerful witch"
This keeps coming up on our calls lately and I am feeling it in my practice - the need to dig in deeper to the Dream Work, to help counteract how hard Inner Work and Outer Work are right now.
I've been journaling more lately, and one thing I am doing is just writing out all the things I want, like affirmations. "I am now open to receive...." "I feel powerful enough to ...." "I know I am ready to..." things like that.
Throughout the day I remind myself… I trust my magic. I am a powerful witch.
It’s helping.
We do need to remind ourselves of who the fuck we ARE sometimes.
As I keep sharing on our calls - all the ways that dominant culture fail us has been on my mind a lot.
Not that I want to sit around pointing fingers and not taking responsibility for my own life, but because I see the impacts every day, on all of us.
As I connect with my new dreams for the second half of my life, I have this growing feeling about how we all deserve better.
Life is sacred. It’s a gift.
Our culture degrades this gift in the name of greed.
None of this is new.
But it all feels more urgent to me.
I TRUST MY MAGIC has been helping me NOT feel helpless in the face of the state of the world, and instead look for ways to be a part of the future I want.
Dream Book members:
Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.
Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.
Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.
Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.