I’ve been showing up for my Creative Dream Practice, doing the alchemy processes, working with my dream… but not in the actual book that I had made for Dream Book.
Sometimes this happens.
Sometimes it’s resistance - because having it all ORGANIZED in the way we do in Dream Book gives you a sense of clarity and direction that can be scary at times.
Sometimes it’s not resistance, you’re just in a place on the path that’s less linear and structured.
Anyway, I opened up my Dream Book and it made sense - I could see why I hadn’t opened it in a while.
In the fall I had made pages for my new dreams, for the liminal space I figured I would be in for a while. Space for healing and self care and adjusting to the shock of my husband leaving. Dreams of giving myself the fall and winter to be in a cocoon of healing, and emerging in the spring ready to create my new life.
Not that I wanted to dictate the timing of my healing process, I wasn’t going to force myself out of the cocoon on any particular date - it’s just that’s how it felt to me at the time.
And now here I am, emerging from the cocoon. I mean, kind of. I'm feeling inspired and motivated. I know so much more about what I want my new life to look like.
So here am - opening my Dream Book to get myself organized.
That doesn’t mean these past months I have been “off track” or anything.
I was just in a non-linear part of the path.
It’s ALL a part of it.
Even the times when you're just 100% IN RESISTANCE and not showing up - that's a part of it too. There is so much to wrestle with, and so many ways to work with our dreams.
Dream Book members:
Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.
Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.
Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.
Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.
This is the mantra I got in this week’s Dream Book journaling + alchemy kit: I am capable of more than I know.
This is one of those mantras that has usually been true.
AND
Some of the times when I have MOST felt it are the times when I was actually the LEAST capable.
Like, there is a delusion that can set in and it can help us overcome a lot of shit.
Like "Oh I'll just put my art on Instagram and it will sell immediately!" and we use that courage to take a bunch of super brave steps.... and in the process we begin the journey of learning JUST HOW MUCH we have to do to actually sell the art.
It can feel like you've been defeated but actually, that courage and confidence helped get you to a place where you see how much you have to learn, which IS what will get you to a place of being able to do the thing.
So, I take some hope then, in the fact that I'm not sure how capable I feel right now.
And this mantra feels like a balm, reminding me of my truth.
We are always capable of our creative dreams. Our creative dreams CHOOSE us for a reason.
We won't always FEEL capable.
Learning to show up consistently. Having ways of working with your dream that work for where you're at (ie Dream Book!!). Making Creative Dreaming a HABIT. This all really helps us move through the feeling-less-capable times.
Dream Book members:
Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.
Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.
Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.
Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.
Note: This is a post about my daily practice with my Creative Dreams - I often link to the tools, courses and processes I use which are available to Dream Book members. If you're not a member, find out more + join us here.
On Fridays I do my Dream Status Report which is a series of prompts I use every week to help me have more clarity, momentum and groundedness on my path. You can do them with me (Dream Book members: come post yours in the forum!)!
My Dream Status Report for this week:
PART ONE:
My dream is: I want to get an RV or camper van and travel… WITH MY CAT BEAR!!!! Create a comfy cozy home on wheels, and write + make art on the road while we have adventures. AND... last week I got another new dream!! More to come but YAY! I am loving the magic of being excited about a new thing.
I want it because: It feels so sweet and makes me happy. And the new dream, which is more about art I want to make, feels like it will expand and energize my whole life.
When I have it I will feel: I think I will feel so happy, free and thrilled with my life.
PART TWO:
Invite the soul of your dream in (using the Dream Lab practice) to help you with the rest of the prompts.
My dream is a meadow of wildflowers and it says "Your dream is NOT just those things. It's the thrill and magic of being who you are. There is so much good ahead of you!"
PART THREE:
Last week’s focus was: Pausing before the next step, get grounded and acclimated before moving on.
What happened in the last week? This was a weird week. I think I am more grounded and acclimated and ready for my next steps, but I didn't take as many of those steps as I thought I would. Though - I write these things on Thursday mornings, and, as of the time of writing this - I do have my schedule for Thursday and Friday mostly set aside to work on taking these steps.
What am I learning/How do I feel about this?
I am really tired of learning how "it takes the time it takes" but here we are, lol. But mostly I feel accepting, I am really happy about what I am moving towards, which makes it easier to access that it's not happening as fast as I would like.
Also I had an intense therapy session this week on a day that I had a big panic attack. Definitely some new lessons coming in around not trying to control the process of life, and focusing on how I am tending to myself vs trying to "improve" myself.
I've had a lot of thoughts lately about "self improvement" being such a big part of personal growth and healing - and how it shouldn't be. And I've known that for a long time, but it's SO culturally engrained in it, that it keeps seeping in.
We are wonderful. There is nothing that needs improvement in ourselves but there is LOADS that needs tending to - our dreams, our hurts, etc.
What do I need now?
Patience. To listen to myself about what I need from moment to moment.
What does my dream need now?
The wildflowers in the meadow are just kind of sparkling. It's like - they just need to live. Soak up sun and be gorgeous.
Taking all of this into account, my focus for the next week is:
Take my next steps and keep taking them. Listen to myself about what I need from moment to moment.
Dream Book members:
!https://www.creativedreamincubator.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/05/come-dream-with-us-295x300.png
Come to the forum to share your Dream Status Report or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.
Get your next Dream Book lesson.
Check out the calendar of upcoming calls.
I am working on a thing that is feeling SO hard.
I can’t stay with it, I keep get distracted.
As I keep bringing myself back to it I am just… YIKES.
So - into the Un-Sticking Station.
Hello Stuck.
Stuck is tension in my shoulders growing stronger by the second. I want to cry. And run around. And never, ever do this thing.
Stuck says “Let’s go shopping. We need envelopes! We can get snacks while we’re out!”
No, not right now. Right now let’s stay focused on this thing.
"We have been working on this all day, it’s time for a break."
Well that’s the thing, we haven’t really been working on it, we’ve been avoiding it.
And that's the end.
I wrote this last week and found it this week.
And it made me realize - I only share my FINISHED un-stickings here. They don't always feel complete, but they feel like a significant step was taken and I know what step to take next, like I feel SOMEWHAT un-stuck at least.
And this one is just... one realization, that I hadn't been WORKING ON the thing all day, I had been WORKING AT AVOIDING the thing all day.
And that realization was A LOT to process.
That was the only step I could take that day.
Just showing up and saying HI to your stuck is enough. It starts to disrupt it. It makes new options possible in the future.
We constantly judge our steps as TOO SMALL. But every step counts!
Dream Book members:
Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.
Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.
Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.
Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.
(I wrote this post on April 1)
I started having this intense feeling, once in a while, of wanting to “go upstairs to my bed”
I had moved the bedroom downstairs about 2.5 years ago, and at that time I was really happy to move my work upstairs, where it was sunnier. It felt good to have work be separate from the rest of my life.
When my husband left me in September, I did re-arrange things, while keeping work upstairs and life downstairs, and LOVED my set up all winter. And, I guess it was time to change it. Because on Easter weekend this wish to “go upstairs to my bed” was so intense I felt I HAD to do it. Right then, that day....
Take apart 2 bed frames (I had a work/nap twin size bed in my work space) and my desk, and move EVERYTHING up/down the stairs. (My sister did come over to help move the queen boxspring and mattress, which I tried but just couldn’t get up the stairs alone) I thought, since I have been lifting weights for months this will be fine.
But I am writing this the morning after, and it’s not fine, lol! I’m sure I’ll be find soon, but Ibuprofen is keeping me going this morning.
THIS FEELS MAGICAL AND HEALING.
This feels like I am starting my new life.
This loft bedroom was the reason why I got this condo. It’s a big bedroom with huge windows looking out on our courtyard with trees outside. One of the windows is a door that fully opens to let in SO MUCH fresh air. Being in there felt like being in a retreat.
So, I don’t regret my choice to move my work into the most cherished part of my home because I do love my work. It made sense, I had ALWAYS thought about it, and it was good to do it and see how it was.
The thing is, I don’t need that much space for my work. I had 2 desks and a twin size work/nap bed and lots of space to spread out on the floor since I do like working on the floor… but lately I was mostly taking my laptop and journals downstairs and working on the floor there.
I think it’s great to try things, even if they don’t end up being what you want FOREVER
I FEEL ALIVE because of making this decision and taking this action. And I think I remembering feeling this good about the choice to move my work into this room two and a half years ago.
I just want to hold onto this - doing the thing that feels right. Giving myself the things I crave.
This morning I woke up upstairs, back in my bedroom. And I just felt so happy.
I also felt SO HAPPY when I first moved the workspace upstairs.
It’s like - there is no ONE WAY. We are living growing beings and get to make new choices whenever that feels right. That’s a big part of why I wanted a loft with no interior walls, so I could re-arrange in whatever way fits my life in the moment.
Anyway, it’s spring. I am feeling the RE-BIRTH vibes. I feel alive. I feel like I have a new home and a new life and I am really excited about my future.
I’m working on adding something new to Dream Book - to make it more of a COACHING MEMBERSHIP because I think we all need more support for our creative dreams because we all deserve to feel ALIVE and EXCITED about our futures. We can create a better future for everyone. I sent out an email about this on Monday - we’re going to do a weekly coaching call on Fridays for planning, momentum and support. This will start April 26, details to come!
Dream Book members:
Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.
Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.
Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.
Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.
For a while I’ve been feeling really good about my divorce. I was doing an acceptance practice and felt… accepting. I was enjoying all the new possibility and freedom that I have in my life. I was looking forward to my future. I’m turning 50 in May and was just feeling so excited about this new chapter in my life.
Then that all crashed. I started feeling the HUGENESS of the loss of the emotional and financial support and stability I received in my marriage and freaking out about it. Every month I’ve had BIG unexpected expenses. And my mortgage and condo fees have increased dramatically, along with the rest of the cost of living. So, in this economy, it feels harder than ever to calm that anxiety.
There are moments when it’s SO calm though. When I feel SO sure. And then there are moments when I just want to cry.
I’m so lucky that I know so much about how dreams work. I have so many examples in my mind, of all the people I have worked with, and everything they have overcome.
I have so many tools for SHOWING UP NO MATTER HOW I FEEL AND WHAT IS HAPPENING.
I have this enormous body of evidence that says: just keep showing up.
Show up anxious. Show up scared.
JUST SHOW UP.
Dream Book members - remember the Library of Inner Work Practices for ways to show up when it's hard. And email me any time for recommendations for things to use!!
Dream Book members:
Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.
Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.
Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.
Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.
This is the mantra I got in this week’s Dream Book journaling + alchemy kit: I am ready for my breakthrough.
It’s a little spooky how these mantras have been so RIGHT ON for me lately. Either bringing me the lessons/awareness I need, or just being the exact vibe I am already in.
I am ready for my breakthrough.
I feel like I HAD the breakthrough, but I am in this space of adjusting to it, and the adjustment feels HUGE.
I am ready for my breakthrough. This feels like a bit of a balm for the parts of me who are like “Am I though?”
The breakthrough is around how I want to describe Dream Book… and actually going back to my decision to re-name the membership to Dream Book and making a different decision.
It’s like how a few years ago I moved my bedroom downstairs and put my workspace upstairs. The upstairs loft is my favourite part of my condo and it felt so good to give that space to my creativity.
Until it started to feel URGENT that I give that space back to my bedroom. And it was this huge annoying job to actually move everything, but I did it. But now that it’s done it’s like WHOA. I needed this so much.
This doesn’t negate how right it felt to move my workspace upstairs when I did it.
We’re alive and changing and we get to keep making new choices.
So, I am making the choice to re-name the membership. Which doesn’t change anything about what’s happening inside - other than I also want to add Friday afternoon coaching calls.
It changes the sales page. It changes how I talk about it.
Which has always been the hardest part of my work for me. And over the years I have hired people to do this work FOR me, I’ve hired coaches and mentors to do it WITH me, and now I feel SO sure that I know the right way to do this. It feels so right.
AND
It’s just a big step.
So… I am READY for my breakthrough. I am ready to DO THE WORK of acting on it. I have been doing the work, and it’s FUCKING HARD so repeating the mantra I am ready for my breakthrough is really helping.
Because it feels true. This is hard AND I am ready to do it.
Dream Book members:
Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.
Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.
Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.
Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.
Note: This is a post about my daily practice with my Creative Dreams - I often link to the tools, courses and processes I use which are available to Dream Book members. If you're not a member, find out more + join us here.
On Fridays I do my Dream Status Report which is a series of prompts I use every week to help me have more clarity, momentum and groundedness on my path. You can do them with me (Dream Book members: come post yours in the forum!)!
My Dream Status Report for this week:
PART ONE:
My dream is: I want to get an RV or camper van and travel… WITH MY CAT BEAR!!!! Create a comfy cozy home on wheels, and write + make art on the road while we have adventures. AND... this week I got another new dream!! More to come but YAY! I am loving the magic of being excited about a new thing.
I want it because: It feels so sweet and makes me happy. And the new dream, which is more about art I want to make, feels like it will expand and energize my whole life.
When I have it I will feel: I think I will feel so happy, free and thrilled with my life.
PART TWO:
Invite the soul of your dream in (using the Dream Lab practice) to help you with the rest of the prompts.
I've been fighting off a cold all week and today it caught me. I'm not feeling up to this right now. I'm just going to do my best with the prompts.
PART THREE:
Last week’s focus was: Keep taking steps and also: How can I bring that feeling of CREATIVITY and ALIVENESS into more of what I do?
What happened in the last week? A HUGE new sense of creativity and aliveness via: I re-arranged the whole loft! I put my bedroom back upstairs, my workspace back downstairs, and I feel SO different. I got rid of a love seat and a desk and everything feels more spacious.
I was focused on one project and I feel really good about what I did there, even while not feeling my best and not making progress as quickly as I'd hoped.
What am I learning/How do I feel about this?
Along with the whole-home-re-arrangement I feel like I shifted my perspective on my work. I am making a change to Dream Book - I am re-naming the membership "The Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership".
It's like when I moved my workspace upstairs - I LOVED THAT. And now it felt right to move it back downstairs and I LOVE THIS. Things change over time.
When I named the membership Dream Book - that felt right. (It had been called The Creative Dream Circle before) Now it feels right to change it.
I've noticed that some people don't even look at the Dream Book program, they just come to the live calls (or use the replays) and that's enough to get what they need. Other people JUST do Dream Book and not the calls, other people just do other programs... but in naming it Dream Book sometimes people felt like if they're not doing that program, they are not "doing it right".
I also want to add a weekly coaching call for planning and accountability and momentum. I am working on the format for it, I want it to be a bit shorter (I love our long calls but I want this one to be easy to do every week) and super helpful for people using the replay too. I want to do this on Friday afternoons, so that everyone can have a chance to watch the replay over the weekend and start the week feeling ready.
It feels like a step forward in how the Creative Dream Incubator can be the most helpful. I started the membership in 2012 because I wanted to offer a more affordable way of getting the on-going support you need for your dreams. And the longer I do this, the more I learn about it, and the better it gets.
What do I need now?
Well, I am sick. I need to rest. I HATE THIS. It's finally spring here and I want to go outside!!!
What does my dream need now?
It feels like INTENSE dream work and inner work got me to this place of clarity about my nest steps, and my dream needs a SHIT TON of outer work to make these changes happen and I am not up to it.
Taking all of this into account, my focus for the next week is:
Instead of being frustrated, I want to see this as a PAUSE. Like taking a breath before a big step. A little time to reflect on everything. Get grounded and acclimated to where I am, before moving on.
Dream Book members:
!https://www.creativedreamincubator.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/05/come-dream-with-us-295x300.png
Come to the forum to share your Dream Status Report or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.
Get your next Dream Book lesson.
Check out the calendar of upcoming calls.
To make any dream happen you need two things:
- To be clear about what the dream is.
- To show up, and then keep showing up.
*Note: No one is ALWAYS clear! If you’re not clear right now, go to the “I want to find my dream” section of the website
Pursuing a dream is an alchemical process.
It will heal, grow and change you.
Everything you need to make it happen you can find on the journey.
The hard part is to keep showing up. Even when we have no clue HOW to show up.
This can spark helplessness and frustration that make it feel too hard to show up, and then when you’re not showing up, no progress can happen.
This is where structure is so helpful.
I’m still doing the “I am worthy of and receptive to my dream” as a mantra most mornings before I get out of bed. (We had two calls to explore this more: Feeling worthy of your dream. Being open + receptive to your dream.)
After that, The Journal Sheet For Taking Consistent Steps really helps!
And then… you notice what would be helpful and do the little things you can see to do.
I’ve been re-building and re-organizing my whole business.
Because I switched my membership site to DREAM BOOK()! in January of 2020, I was making a lot of changes. In January of 2020 I was focused on adding content to the site and getting everyone transitioned to the Dream Book program. Then in February I was just starting to look at how I wanted my business to change, the promotional content I wanted to create, schedules, etc… and I got REALLY sick. I was sick for over three weeks and just got better when the first Covid lockdowns started.
The last four years I’ve just done whatever I needed to to keep things going. I’ve been more focused on creating coaching circles and guided journals than on the “business parts” of my business. And now it’s time to focus on the business.
So, as I work on this super-daunting task, I’ve been NOTICING WHAT WOULD BE HELPFUL.
At first I was writing a post every morning and scheduling it for the next day. Then I noticed that I wanted more SPACE. To write more when I felt more inspire to write, to write less when I felt less inspired. To have more flexibility.
So I noticed that I wanted to start writing things in advance.
Once I was writing in advance, I noticed I really wanted to be able to see the posts in a calendar. I wasn’t sure what this meant or could look like, at the time I was writing the posts right in my WordPress (the website back end).
But I kept noticing that I wanted to see them in a calendar and eventually realised I could do this in Notion, my project management app. I set up a view with a calendar, and gave each post a “post date”. I see the posts titles in the calendar and can click on them to read the whole post. I can write posts in there. I can move them around to different dates. I can click a checkbox once the post is scheduled in WordPress. I can click another checkbox once it’s posted, and that post disappears from my calendar so I am only looking at upcoming content.
Now, I don’t know how to use Notion all that well, I learned this things by trial and error and couldn’t even tell you how to set this up.
All I am ever doing is noticing what I wish was different, and the fooling around to see if I can have that thing I want.
I trial and error and make mistakes and get frustrated and eventually things fall into place.
I know I can hire someone to set things up for me, someone who understands all the options and can see how it “should” be and sometimes I have taken options like that. Right now, I like being in the mess of this approach because it tends to bring me to RIGHT FIT FOR ME solutions instead of THIS IS HOW PEOPLE DO THIS solutions.
Now, after months of “being in the mess” with this I have such a beautiful (to me) system.
Taking tiny little step after tiny little step - I have created calendars for my blog and for my email newsletters. I have lists of ideas for social media posts (those I don’t want in a calendar, I like having a bunch of ideas to grab from if I ever want to share something but don’t have a thing to share in the moment).
I have OMG SO BEAUTIFULLY ORGANIZED lists of future project ideas, with everything I know about the project contained within the lists.
I have business goals and maps for how to get there. I have protocols that keeps things as simple as possible.
I have a whole calendar for my ROUTINES AND RITUALS!!!!
So, when I start the day, I am not starting with “OMG what am I even doing?” the way I was so often in the last four years.
I go to the ROUTINES AND RITUALS calendar and it shows me what I am doing.
All of this to say - getting organized, in whatever way that means for you, helps you STAY IN THE PROCESS.
It makes it SO MUCH EASIER to show up, and keep showing up.
Resources:
Dream Plan Kit, Including the class on Creative Planning + Project Management
Focus Pocus - you could use this to help you get organized, because there are SO MANY PLACES in the process of getting organized where it’s hard and uncomfortable and you’d rather just give up
Habits, Systems + Structures: there are 2 calls on this in the Marketing as a Creative + Spiritual Practice series
Creative Genius Planning Sessions
Dream Book members:
Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.
Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.
Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.
Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.
I’ve been reading How Emotions Are Made: The Secret Life of the Brain by Lise Feldman Barrett.
It’s about the latest scientific studies about how our brain works to create emotions. It shows that a lot of our current cultural understanding of how emotions work is wrong.
And it confirmed that everything I’ve been doing in my work is right. Which is always nice! But, of course it’s right, I didn’t pull these ideas out of my ass. I developed them over many years of working with people.
Reading about this research helped solidify some things for me, which has been especially helpful during my divorce when emotions are flying, and often flying right into each other as they contradict each other so much. And then it’s all topped off with a heavy coat of peri-menopause anxiety.
None of my feelings are TRUE.
There is nothing in our bodies or brains that says we have to feel certain ways about certain things. Contrary to popular belief - there is no universality to feelings.
The way our brains create our emotional state is based on our own past history and patterns. We LEARN this.
All of my feelings are VALID. There is no sense in telling myself not to feel a certain thing - ignoring/suppressing feelings is extremely ill-advised.
The helpful thing to do with feelings we find uncomfortable is to get CURIOUS about them.
WORK WITH THEM.
Yes, start by, validating that you ARE indeed feeling however you're feeling and then actually literally FEELING THE FEELING in your body helps you move THROUGH it.
But that same feeling WILL COME BACK the next time you’re in a similar situation. Feeling our feelings releases them but does not change the patterns.
Curiosity is an incredibly powerful tool for healing and changing patterns.
You can see it every time I share a post here using the Un-Sticking Station. I can be HORRIBLY stuck with something, and getting curious, sitting down and having a picnic with it to find out how we can work together - shifts it every time.
Since we LEARN our emotional responses to the outer world - our feelings are cultural.
And our culture is a flaming trash heap.
So becoming more skilled at the inner work is actually necessary for freeing ourselves of the ways our culture holds us back from being who we really are.
Which is so connected to creative dreaming there isn’t a way to separate them.
Your dream is your soul showing you who you really are, it’s how your soul lights your path for you.
Your FEELINGS ABOUT your dream are your conditioned responses that you learned from living in this culture - they are not necessarily true, helpful, or needed.
Dream Book members:
Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.
Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.
Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.
Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.