Note: this post is from my daily Creative Dream Practice and includes links to the tools I use which are a part of the Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership. You need an active membership to access those tools. You are always welcome to join right here!
This is the mantra I got in this week’s Dream Book journaling + alchemy kit: My time is now.
Use the meditation for the weekly mantras to dig in deeper to the mantra, or put your hands on your heart and take five deep slow breaths and repeat to yourself:
My time is now.
Notice where this lands in your body, what thoughts and feelings get sparked.
There is no right or wrong way to react. But your actual thoughts and feelings can tell you something about what you need right now.
My reaction: This one brings me into the present in a way that feels grounding and expansive.
I LOVE feeling simultaneously grounded and expanded. Like I am stable and supported enough to reach out and grow.
I don’t have a lot to say about this one, I am just really enjoying this sensation.
I look forward to keeping this one on my mind this week.
If you want to work on this with me:
If My time is now feels good and encouraging, hold it with you today. Look at problems, questions, stucks and obstacles through this lens and see what ideas it brings.
If it brings up some discomfort - that’s your stuff to work on today. To do that work, in the creative dream incubator coaching membership we’ve got the un-sticking station and the library of inner work practices. If you’re not sure what practice to use, you can email me, or post in our forum, let me know what’s going on and I will make some suggestions for tools you can use.
Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:
Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.
Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.
Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.
Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.
Note: This is a post about my daily practice with my Creative Dreams - I often link to the tools, courses and processes I use which are available to Dream Book members. If you're not a member, find out more + join us here.
🦄⚡️Creative Dream Incubator Weekly Coaching Call is today!!
Hope to see you there - or catch the replay over the weekend! Call details + replays are here. And after the call I'll start a thread in the forum to share your plans for the week and as a space for accountability and support.
If you can't be there live but have a question or there's something you are struggling with, send me an email this morning and I'll discuss it on the call and offer you some suggestions for things to do.
🦄
On Fridays I do my Dream Status Report which is a series of prompts I use every week to help me have more clarity, momentum and groundedness on my path. You can do them with me (Dream Book members: come post yours in the forum!)!
My Dream Status Report for this week:
PART ONE:
My dream is:
I want it because:
When I have it I will feel:
Leaving all of this blank this week. I feel IN TRANSITION. Not that my dreams have changed, but that I have (?) I don't know, but this is what feels right so I am doing it.
I wanted to start doing these by hand on the new printable sheets (these are free for everyone, not just membership members) and I am kind of ready... I have the printed sheet and my pens with me, but somehow I don't FEEL ready to make the change?
Today is all about being willing to do what feels right, and not necessarily understand what I am doing. If I am in a period of change, then things must change, and change can feel chaotic and uncertain when you're in it.
I'm sitting in the a park, using the wifi since I still have none at home, and I just looked up... sunlight is streaming through the trees and dandelion fluffs are floating everywhere. 100% magic.
Something like 25 years ago, I was driving with my then-boss and his wife to a Christmas dinner and there was this amazing pink and purple sunset and I thought to myself "In a world with a magic sunset like this, I can't be meant for this shitty job"
I get that same feeling from the rays of light and the dandelion fluffs. There is so much magic in the world. I am not here to struggle. None of us are. We are meant to create beautiful, magical things.
PART TWO:
Invite the soul of your dream in (using the Dream Lab practice) to help you with the rest of the prompts.
I'm not working with my "big dream" I am focused on one thing I want to work on this month, from this week's New Moon Call (which was amazing! If you weren't there, get the replay!)
Sitting in the magic of "the world is such a magical place and we can do amazing things" I call in my dream and...
Nothing....
I feel unsettled in my chest. There are so many birds chirping, usually I love it but now it feels like too much.
And then I get it. I need to confront my STUFF about having this thing I want to HAVE in the next month. The overwhelm. The constriction. The places where I don't believe.
My dream is on the other side of all of this.
PART THREE:
Last week’s focus was: Make art. Be IN your Creative Magic.
What happened in the last week?
Week 2 of no internet (!) Yes I definitely made more art, filled so many journal pages, and felt IN my creative magic - when I wasn't flustered about how to run an internet business without internet, lol.
AND I feel some pressure about this thing I want/need to do over the next month.
It's that thing when you really STEP INTO doing the thing, and then all the inner stuff you have about it suddenly RIGHT THERE. People describe it as "your stuff coming up" but actually it's YOU who went to IT. This stuff would just stay unresolved within you if you didn't go for your dream.
So, I had a lot of that. NOT FUN. AND I have been through this enough to know I will work through it.
What am I learning/How do I feel about this?
Right now, as I write this, I feel so sure. I know I've been in this position before, and I have worked through and healed and shifted and made magic. I have all this experience of every time I've done it before helping me.
AND I know later today I will probably feel FILLED with self doubt.
I feel all of it.
What do I need now?
I'm still really thinking about that Dream Self drawing I shared here yesterday and how her heart is so deeply rooted. How she stays so plugged into her magic, and so far away from overwhelm. So I need to keep thinking of this, and looking at where/how I set boundaries around not getting overwhelmed, and how that could shift.
Also, meditation feels especially magic lately, and I need MORE.
What does my dream need now?
I see flashing lights pointing to how I couldn't see my dream and just got uncomfortable trying to meet with it earlier... it's like "ANDREA LOOK AT THIS, WORKING ON THE INNER STUFF THAT HOLDS YOU BACK:
Taking all of this into account, my focus for the next week is:
Inner Work. Meditation + art + being with the places in me that want to hold me back.
Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:
Come to the forum to share your Dream Status Report or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.
Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.
Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.
Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.
Dream Book is a way of journaling that gets you to your dream.
It works.
And that’s why I avoid my Dream Book all the time, lol.
There are lots of reasons for this but what I am noticing right now is that this way of working with intention is so powerful that it becomes frightening.
All of the “what ifs” and doubts and uncomfortable questions and AM I REALLY READY FOR THIS? are RIGHT THERE. In my face. Facing it all IS the way through...
And resistance offers this comfy little cave to hide in. And who wouldn’t choose comfy over uncomfy?
But the time spent “hiding out” in resistance isn’t really wasted.
Stuff is incubating, processing beneath the surface.
Just getting the Dream Book out, looking at the table of contents, looking at the checklist of Dream Book lessons, figuring out where you are in it IS a way of engaging with your intentions.
The thing that comes up in response to that - a feeling, a discomfort, an idea… that’s the thing to focus on. That’s your next step.
So, for the last while, being in resistance WAS my next step.
Can I trust that I was doing my best to show up? Can I trust that things were working through beneath the surface?
I don't know.
I declared that in 2024 I am exploring my resistance and boy does it keep showing up.
But I DO know that now, in the last few weeks, I am opening my Dream Book and working in it much more regularly and it feels like MAGIC.
When I have a question, I make a page for it.... And within days I have an answer OR the start of an answer OR a new idea for how to get the answer.
This is a miracle!
The other day I made a new Dream Self page.
That's the one pictured above. When I look at my drawing, I don't see the scribbly mess that is there, I see HOW IT FELT in the meditation. I see magic. Drawing it out, even if you "can't draw" is so helpful! Try it!
The big thing that is different between her and me is that her heart is deeply rooted.
And this deeply rooted heart changes how she does things.
Most notably: she has entirely different boundaries around being overwhelmed. If there is a spectrum from completely debilitated by overwhelm to completely plugged into my inner magic and not at all overwhelmed, she lives on an entirely different part of the spectrum than I do.
I have struggled with overwhelm always, but especially since 2020.
And it seems like she doesn't struggle with it, not because she has better TOOLS but because she has better BOUNDARIES. (As far as I can tell, she uses all the same tools as me!)
This is such a cool thing to notice and explore.
Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:
Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.
Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.
Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.
Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.
It’s been a week and a half with no internet in my home!
Hopefully it will be fixed soon (all I know is that the technician is backed up and is getting to everyone in the order that they received our calls and I just have to wait) because running an internet business with no internet is awkward. (
And I found out I can’t add more data to my phone plan like I used to be able to! It’s just a $50 surcharge and then it’s cut off until next month. Yikes)
But on the other hand, not having internet in my home is magical.
Of course, I learned just how much I have been using the internet to distract me from the discomfort of divorce, and the state of the world, and my peri-menopause anxiety, and the stress of running a business about believing in a better future while the world is collapsing into chaos around us.
It did feel like what I assume a mild version of withdrawal feels like.
It did feel like “Wow, without my internet fix, this shit is really hard to deal with!”
AND ALSO
I’m so glad I am facing this all more directly.
I did say that 2024 I am doing this year-long project of exploring my resistance and that’s… well resisting exploring resistance is a part of exploring resistance, right?
But I did learn a lot more about how my resistance works this last almost-two-weeks.
And I got to spend more time in my… I don’t know what to call it.. state-of-being-more-connected-to-myself-than-to-wifi I guess.
After the stress of figuring out how to do my work, and the discomfort of re-arranging my work flow (not a small thing!) it was like this sense of magic and freedom opened up. All these chunks of time, alone at home, with no way of communication with the outside world, except the few people I text with.
It just feels like - this is what I need, as an artist.
And when I look at all of the stressors in my life right now: processing my divorce, re-gaining a sense of financial stability as a single person and with nightmare inflation and being self employed on the internet while the algorithms keep changing and culture keeps changing and everything that used to work doesn’t work….
Well, art is the answer to everything.
(For me, right now)
Art as a way of listening to my soul.
Art as a way of finding my truth.
And space without wifi does feel like a more creative space.
And once my internet is fixed, I want to hold onto this state-of-being-more-connected-to-myself-than-to-wifi.
I’m grateful it is taking soooo looooong for this to be fixed because this gives me a chance to get INTO IT.
I’m adding a page to my Dream Book about this version of me who STAYS in the state-of-being-more-connected-to-myself-than-to-wifi. To learn more about her and how to stay in this once the wifi is working again.
I am embarrassed about this but I think this is the breakthrough I’ve been waiting for.
I’ve been wanting to be deeper in my creative process. More connected to my inner truth. Like living IN my magic in a more potent way.
I'm embarrassed that I didn't just notice that the internet was getting in the way of my process... I'm embarrassed because it took my internet breaking for me to do this.
But OF COURSE I've been in more resistance that I realize. I’m just in an overwhelming stage of life where it’s easy for resistance to kind of swoop in and take me away.
So, this experience of having my internet break gave me what I needed.
And (especially since I have established routines around getting to wifi twice a day, and have re-structured how I work so that I am not constantly feeling stressed and behind on everything) I feel patient about continuing to wait for this technician...
Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:
Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.
Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.
Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.
Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.
My coaching style is VALIDATION FIRST. ENCOURAGEMENT ALWAYS. Let’s find the absolute gentlest way for you to make the thing happen.
I am not an “ass kicking” kind of coach.
AND...
Sometimes the most validating and affirming thing you can do is face the thing you least want to face.
SO: Let’s talk about all the things you are NOT doing that you know you should be doing, if you want to get the results you want.
I know! This is brutal.
But your future self will thank you.
Self-coaching journal prompts for when you’re ready to really DO THE THING:
1. List the things that you are NOT doing that you know you should be doing, if you want to get the results you want.
No excuses, no stories, no leaving anything off this list. Just write them all out.
2. Once you have that list, for each thing: write beside it how it feels to acknowledge that you think you should do this thing to get what you want, and yet you are not doing it.
3. As you do this, notice the resistance, excuses, stories, etc, that come to mind.
4. What’s the truth?
I would bet that it’s NOT true that you SHOULD be doing ALL of these things.
But avoiding the reason why you’re not doing them makes you stuck.
Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:
Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.
Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.
Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.
Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.
Note: this post is from my daily Creative Dream Practice and includes links to the tools I use which are a part of the Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership. You need an active membership to access those tools. You are always welcome to join right here!
This is the mantra I got in this week’s Dream Book journaling + alchemy kit: I am willing to get uncomfortable in service to my dream.
Use the meditation for the weekly mantras to dig in deeper to the mantra, or put your hands on your heart and take five deep slow breaths and repeat to yourself:
I am willing to get uncomfortable in service to my dream
Notice where this lands in your body, what thoughts and feelings get sparked.
There is no right or wrong way to react. But your actual thoughts and feelings can tell you something about what you need right now.
My response: Ha ha HA!!!
I’ve now gone a whole week without internet in my home.
I used up my cell data before the internet was completely out, when it was just dropping a lot and I decided to tether my laptop to my phone for Zoom… ASSuming that I could just buy more data if I ran out.
The my internet stopped working completely and I found out that it’s some complicated thing that needs a technician who is backed up and I just have to wait my turn. Then I found out my phone plan doesn’t allow me to buy more data, I just get a $50 overage charge and it’s cut off until the next month.
Not a disaster or anything but definitely uncomfortable for a person who runs an internet business.
BUT I already go to coffee shops, or the park, in the mornings, and both places have wi-fi. My sister and parents volunteered their homes for doing Zooms call and any other item eI need wifi. I discovered the coffee shop next door to me doesn’t turn off their wifi when they close at night so I could walk over and check email standing on the sidewalk in the evenings.
But I couldn’t be at home, and work the way I usually work. I did stuff and saved up my “needs wi-fi” tasks and then would go do them all at once.
And I couldn’t scroll. Or watch something on Netflix. And I discovered how much I’ve been using scrolling and Netflix to distract myself from my divorce.
So yes, my path has had some discomfort on it this week and this mantra makes me LAUGH.
Because I’ve been more focused on the opposite, letting my comfort matter.
Is it this way with every mantra? That we need to find the right BALANCE that works in the moment?
I’m already somewhat overwhelmed with the divorce and effort of re-building my life. I had really brutal week of what I call the “Perimenopause monster PMS”.
And then suddenly I had this extra discomfort of not being able to do my work the way I am used to doing my work.
And I was trying to keep up with the reels I’ve been posting on social media. I was sitting in the library, and Instagram was being weird, which it often is, but I couldn’t get my captions to display right and usually what I do in these cases is delete it and start over but I’m in a library and don’t want to keep talking to record it and everything felt too hard and I was like…
Stop.
Just be with how you are. You are not in a place to put reels on Instagram every day. It doesn’t matter.
I was trying to hold myself accountable for my goals and was it just last week that I wrote this post about “don’t be an asshole to yourself in the name of accountability” and there I was kind of being an asshole to myself.
So yes I am willing to get uncomfortable in service to my dreams, in the ways that we do have to face the hard things…. AND...
I am willing to bring comfort into the process by whatever means I can access!
If that means slowing down and giving myself more time or making my steps smaller and less stressful or asking for help or… whatever means I can access!
This is so important on both sides. Avoiding the discomfort of the hard stuff does keep us stuck. But not tending to our tender selves in the process is destructive to all parts of us.
If you want to work on this with me:
If I am willing to get uncomfortable in service to my dream feels good and encouraging, hold it with you today. Look at problems, questions, stucks and obstacles through this lens and see what ideas it brings.
If it brings up some discomfort - that’s your stuff to work on today. To do that work, in the creative dream incubator coaching membership we’ve got the un-sticking station and the library of inner work practices. If you’re not sure what practice to use, you can email me, or post in our forum, let me know what’s going on and I will make some suggestions for tools you can use.
Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:
Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.
Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.
Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.
Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.
Note: This is a post about my daily practice with my Creative Dreams - I often link to the tools, courses and processes I use which are available to Dream Book members. If you're not a member, find out more + join us here.
🦄⚡️Creative Dream Incubator Weekly Coaching Call is today!!
Hope to see you there - or catch the replay over the weekend! This week I'm switching the format a little - with a visualization for what we'd like to call in for the next week, so you can choose to focus on visualizing OR doing the journaling sheet/planning OR both!
Call details are here, the reply will be on that page a few hours after we're done. And after the call I'll start a thread in the forum to share your plans for the week and as a space for accountability and support.
If you can't be there live but have a question or there's something you are struggling with, send me an email this morning and I'll discuss it on the call and offer you some suggestions for things to do.
🦄
On Fridays I do my Dream Status Report which is a series of prompts I use every week to help me have more clarity, momentum and groundedness on my path. You can do them with me (Dream Book members: come post yours in the forum!)!
My Dream Status Report for this week:
PART ONE:
My dream is: I want to get an RV or camper van and travel… WITH MY CAT BEAR!!!! Create a comfy cozy home on wheels, and write + make art on the road while we have adventures. AND... there is a sense of stability I had when I was married that I don't feel now which I want to create for myself, in a new way - still lots to explore with that one. AND I want to do lino block prints! First on fabrics to make my own clothes and then... I want to see where this goes.
I want it because: It feels so sweet and makes me happy. And the block print dream feels like it will expand and energize my whole life. I feel like I am growing SO MUCH right now and my life needs to grow to reflect that.
When I have it I will feel: I think I will feel so happy, free and thrilled with my life. And also more stable and grounded.
PART TWO:
Invite the soul of your dream in (using the Dream Lab practice) to help you with the rest of the prompts.
It shows up as a rainbow, like a drawing of a rainbow. It feels colourful and confident.
PART THREE:
Last week’s focus was: Focus on inner + dream work.
What happened in the last week?
My internet died on Monday! It had been dropping occasionally, then it got worse, then it just stopped working. The repair process seems a lot more complex than I would have thought... I am still waiting for an appointment with this specialist.
So, yes I did realize how much I mindlessly scroll social media and it feels amazing to not be doing that. AND getting my work done is so complicated. I also discovered that my phone plan doesn't come with an option to add more data, I just get a big overage charge if I go over, so I can't just use my phone for things.
I'm so lucky that my sister lives nearby and I can go to her place for Zoom calls and whenever I need the internet. The coffee shop near me doesn't turn off their wifi at night, so I can walk over there and check my email in the evening. I am figuring out how to structure my work so I do all-the-stuff-except-uploading and then go to coffee shops or my sister's for uploading.
It feels weird to feel disconnected. AND it feels like this can be a purposeful time of connecting to ME. It still seems crazy that it's taken this long, but I think it could be like 2 weeks before this is fixed.
Other than that - pretty good week! I did focus more on inner and dream work and filled pages in my journals.
What am I learning/How do I feel about this?
I am having what I call the peri-menupause monster pms so I am crabby and tender. I feel tired. I don't want to keep having so many lessons and things to learn.
What do I need now?
Rest. Looking back on all of the re-arranging I did to work without internet this week, it makes sense I feel crabby, tired and in need of a break. I want to focus on relaxing and making art this weekend.
What does my dream need now?
The dream is ARTWORK of a rainbow for a reason, it's saying to make art! Be in my creative magic.
Taking all of this into account, my focus for the next week is:
Make more art! At first I thought this was a "weekend focus" but maybe all of next week, make art a bigger part of my days.
Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:
Come to the forum to share your Dream Status Report or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.
Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.
Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.
Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.
Something that's been on my mind:
You can’t stay in the vibe of “I WANT TO _____”
Even though you DO legitimately want to _____
You have to be in the vibe of “I AM ______”
But you can’t STAY in that vibe if you’re ignoring/avoiding/resisting all of the feelings about how hard this this. About how you do want to _______ but _______.
So you do have to sometimes be with how much you want to.
And you do sometimes how to be with how scared you are that you can’t.
In order to really BE IN the vibe of KNOWING and TRUSTING that you ARE doing this... at other times.
You can’t STAY in any of these states!
Being aware of where you are, and what you patterns are around where you tend to be, is so helpful.
I don’t think you can genuinely, fully, magically, powerfully get into the vibe of I AM if you’re not giving yourself space to be in all of the other states, too.
What are the practices that help tip the scales towards spending more time in the I AM vibe? (The Creative Dream Alchemy Library of Dream Work Practices can give you some places to start)
How can you make more time for them?
Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:
Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.
Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.
Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.
Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.
Note: this post is from my daily Creative Dream Practice and includes links to the tools I use which are a part of the Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership. You need an active membership to access those tools. You are always welcome to join right here!
For the most part, I’m doing really well with my divorce. I’m meeting new people, joining new groups, trying new things, and marinating in the magic of living alone and not making any compromises.
And then sometimes, yes it’s lonely.
And sometimes the loneliness becomes more like this big sharp pain of longing for something that is not there, and I don’t see any way to get it.
It feels so helpless so I try to avoid the feeling...
But then this one time I was experiencing that sharp pain and decided to try to sit with it.
Try to figure out what my loneliness wanted even though what I wanted to do was just find a way to run away from it somehow.
Sitting with it was like visiting a part of me who is in quicksand. I was at the shore, wanting to help, but my lonely sell grabbed me and started pulling me in. I was holding onto the shore for dear life when a wiser self somewhere piped up and said “Let go”
Holding on felt impossible anyway, so I let go. Expecting to drown in quicksand…
But as soon as I stopped resisting it, it wasn’t quicksand anymore.
It was an energy field so powerful it held me and my lonely self up. It felt powerful like a forcefield and we were floating in it.
Floating in what though?
It didn’t feel like loneliness anymore.
Ohhh.
It’s my desire for connection and intimacy.
It’s powerful but also kind of formless.
Like - it’s still in the process of becoming.
It’s so hard to LONG for a thing but also not quite know what you want it to look/be/feel like.
This happens with lots of dreams.
And it makes it easy for doubts and fears to pop in and take over.
But when we can sit in the power of our own longing… wow that is something.
That sharp aching loneliness was gone. I felt expansive and trusting and settled in knowing that now is not the time to call this in.
I am going to practice sitting in this. And especially when loneliness creeps in I want to come back to this meditation, and move into this powerful field of longing.
Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:
Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.
Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.
Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.
Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.
Note: this post is from my daily Creative Dream Practice and includes links to the tools I use which are a part of the Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership. You need an active membership to access those tools. You are always welcome to join right here!
This is from last week:
I’m completely overwhelmed. I did an un-sticking station session but I feel like I am just going through the motion with that... Not really in touch with my feelings.
There is this part of me who 100% believes in me and 100% believes in my dreams.
This part of me is trapped by the parts of me who are panicking and overwhelmed.
Like if I was to drawn a pie chart of how much of me feels which way - the panic and overwhelm would take up the whole pie chart and the part of me who believes in myself would be squashed underneath it.
I think usually the part of me who believes in myself gets squished small in the pie chart - not squashed completely underneath it. This is a new feeling.
Looking through my journal I remember how in touch I was with that part of me a few days ago and it’s so disappointing to not feel it today.
So what do I need?
Probably just some time.
Probably ACCEPTANCE that this is how I feel today.
Probably some self care and nurturing of the part of me who DOES 100% believe in me.
Now it's this week and I am reflecting on this.
It's SO HARD to be in an uncomfortable place and know that you need to just... be there. Accept things you don't want to accept. Feel feelings you don't want to feel.
And it's SO EASY to feel like if you're in that place today, then you'll be in that place forever.
But BEING WITH is a way of WORKING THROUGH. (note to self)
And this week, well today anyway, I don't feel any of this. I feel calm and trusting. I feel proud of everything I've done so far with my dreams, and I feel equipped to keep taking steps. I am feel really grateful to be exactly where I am with everything.
This really is how it works!
This is the compass of Creative Dream Alchemy.
Inner work LEADS to outer work. IF YOU SHOW UP FOR IT. Avoiding the inner work does slow everything down.
And the thing is, it FELT LIKE everything was all slowed down last week, but I was actually processing and percolating and shifting.
So, looking back, if I could teach myself one thing it would be to try (practice!) to have more faith in this, when I hit the next rough spot.
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