journaling

Nothing can stop me

This is the mantra I got in this week’s Dream Book journaling + alchemy kit: Nothing can stop me.

Put your hands on your heart and take five deep slow breaths and repeat to yourself:

Nothing can stop me.

Notice where this lands in your body, what thoughts and feelings get sparked.

There is no right or wrong way to react. But your actual thoughts and feelings can tell you something about what you need right now.

At first, I think about all the things that CAN stop me.

This mantra feels objectively untrue.

But then I remember that this morning when I was looking through things I noticed that I self published The Creative Dream Playbook at the end of October 2023.

One month after my husband very suddenly left me. Two weeks after my step-son went into the hospital and the doctors were saying we would likely not make it. (Though now, seven months later, he's out of the hospital and doing well!)

I didn't write and do the artwork for the whole journal in October! But I did self publish it, as in ALL BY MYSELF which is a really big deal. It was a lot of steps to take, most of them VERY annoying, and even with all of that stress and grief, I got them all done.

So now I'm like... maybe nothing can stop me?

If NOTHING CAN STOP ME feels good and encouraging, hold it with you today.

If it brings up some discomfort - that’s your stuff to work on today.

To do that work, in the creative dream incubator coaching membership we’ve got the un-sticking station and the library of inner work practices. If you’re not sure what practice to use, you can email me, or post in our forum, let me know what’s going on and I will make some suggestions for tools you can use.

Come dream with us

 

Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

Nothing can stop me Read More »

Following Through

Hey! Did you see Project Miracle is now open for registration?!?

If you're in the Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership - you already have access to this right here.

But if you're NOT a member - now you can get Project Miracle for just $33 USD!

Get the details and grab your spot here.

In last week’s Dream Status Report (the ones I post here every Friday) the message I got from my dream was… to bring a MAJESTIC quality to my work with my dream.

This felt amazing in the meditation.

And I don’t know how to translate this into anything outside of the meditation.

This happens sometimes with these alchemy meditations! It doesn’t mean something is wrong, it’s just a thing to explore.

When I think majesty I think royalty and this is not something I have positive associations with.

But I know my dream is not about that - ruling over people and amassing wealth for yourself.

It means majesty as in…. well it’s a feeling, I can’t describe it. And that’s a part of the problem…

I just looked up the definition. Removing all definitions associated with royalty we have:

impressive stateliness, dignity, or beauty. "experience the majesty of the Rockies"

Ohhhhhh.

That strikes a chord about VALUING myself and my work.

I talk a lot about the vulnerability of pursing a dream.

What about the DIGNITY of it?

This is good stuff to bring into my practice.

Come dream with us

 

Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts about this or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

Following Through Read More »

When I connect with my dream, I feel lost

Hey! Did you see Project Miracle is now open for registration?!?

If you're in the Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership - you already have access to this right here.

But if you're NOT a member - now you can get Project Miracle for just $33 USD!

Get the details and grab your spot here.

 

Today my practice is WEIRD:

When I connect with my dream and it's like “Yeah that would nice but I have no flipping clue what to DO”

And this response actually leads to so much emotional distress.

This is why, culturally, we belittle dreams and dreamers. To avoid being in that emotional distress.

It's sad that most people believe that it’s “just a fantasy” when you have no clue what to do….

Because actually it’s an alchemical invitation.

Answering the call of the dream will change YOU, not just your life.

It only STARTS with not having any flipping clue what to do, you can either use that as a sign to give up, or as an opportunity to go deeper.

But that is not the post I meant to write today. That just kind of came out...

What I meant to write is that today:

I'm trying to use the Dream Lab to connect with my dream, I can’t quite do it.

I feel lost and I don’t know what to do. Not knowing what to do leaves me feeling helpless and scared that I will NEVER figure out what to do.

But if one of you who is doing Dream Book said this to me, I would first remind you that this is ok, this is a part of the process and doesn’t meant you are doing anything wrong or that your dream has died or anything.

And then I would ask “Where are you, in Dream Book? What’s the last thing you were working on?”

Well, as I shared yesterday, I had started that page about deserving to believe in myself and my dreams.

Then I would ask “How would it feel to keep working on that? Or would you rather look at what the next thing on the list is? Or is there a page you’ve already done that would be good to revisit?” At this point I would ask different questions depend on the specifics of their dream.

For me, in my specific situation I would say “You need a projects page with just the (current and potential) projects that relate to this particular dream. Let’s get them all on one page and then we can take a look at “I don’t know what to do”.

I start to resist this advice because I have everything organized in my project management app.

But I know what I would say to me, lol.

"You FEEL lost. This doesn’t mean you ARE lost. But writing it BY HAND and taking the time to think about everything as you write it in gives you a chance to process, and see it all from a different perspective."

Your dream is NOT a to do list!!!!

A project management app is great, and vital even for what I am doing, but there is ALSO an alchemical aspect to this that gets missed in there.

You need to put this in the Dream Book, too. It will look/feel different in there.

Feeling lost about your dream is an INVITATION to go deeper.

Come dream with us

 

Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts about this or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

When I connect with my dream, I feel lost Read More »

I started my new Dream Book

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I’ve got my brand new metallic gold Leuchtterm 1917 brand “master slim” journal.

(One of our members emailed me that this one was on sale on the Canadian site, in the metallic colours and I LOVE a gold journal! and I didn’t think I needed a new one but it turns out I did, lol)

I am starting a brand new Dream Book.

Yes, I’ve been starting and re-starting Dream Book since fall. Between the sudden separation/divorce and my step-son being in a life-threatening situation, it’s been hard to hold onto my dreams.

And my dreams changed… over fall and winter I was dreaming of “a healing liminal space” and then when spring arrived I felt a little lost… ready to not be so much IN the healing but also… where am I now? What do I want?

Starting and re-starting Dream Book IS GOOD. It’s like this churning process for working through things.

This is not a race! It’s an entirely non-linear process.

Though I have parts of me who are like “Jesus Andrea, you are the teacher! Get it together! You should be able to move through the program!” and I laugh and say “Clearly I am the teacher and not YOU because if you understood Dream Book at all you would know I am doing it perfectly”

I am in the process, no matter what it looks like. (So are you!)

Though, parts of me DO feel satisfied to see I am making some kind of measurable progress with this new journal starting to look like “a Dream Book”.

BUT, filling in the first page, the Dream Page, I had this wave of… Do I deserve this?

And I could explain all the reasons why YES WE ALL DESERVE IT and I thought about making a page with all of those reasons but instead I did this:

I made a page just for writing: I deserve to believe in my dreams. I deserve to believe in myself. I am writing it over and over, in bubble letters, which take me some time to write.

So it’s this very slow, meditative thing and I love it. Writing something over and over is a great way to process. You can shift your beliefs this way - just make sure to BE WITH the thoughts and feeling that come up, don’t just try to force yourself to “be positive”.

Come dream with us

 

Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts about this or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

I started my new Dream Book Read More »

The whole universe supports my dreams

This is the mantra I got in this week’s Dream Book journaling + alchemy kit: The whole universe supports my dreams.

I recorded a video of this post - I'll be sharing it on Instagram this morning, if you'd like to listen to me say it 🙂

Put your hands on your heart and take five deep slow breaths and listen to me.

The whole universe supports your dreams.

Notice where this lands in your body, what thoughts and feelings get sparked.

There is no right or wrong way to react. But your actual thoughts and feelings can tell you something about what you need right now.

It’s so easy to feel like the world is against your dreams and in a lot of ways - it is. Extractive capitalism based on white supremacist values, especially the late stage capitalism we’ve been sliding into since the 80s, absolutely is against a lot of your dreams.

But the culture we currently live in is not the universe.

The whole universe supports your dreams.

Your dreams are a part of you. They are a part of your authenticity, your purpose and potential. They are not things outside of you to chase, they are your own soul shining a light on the path.

This is what you are here for.

The whole universe supports your dreams.

If that feels good and encouraging, hold it with you today.

If it brings up some discomfort - that’s your stuff to work on today.

To do that work, in the creative dream incubator coaching membership we’ve got the un-sticking station and the library of inner work practices. If you’re not sure what practice to use, you can email me, or post in our forum, let me know what’s going on and I will make some suggestions for tools you can use.

Come dream with us

 

Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

The whole universe supports my dreams Read More »

ALL of your dreams deserve support

Hey! Did you see Project Miracle is now open for registration?!?

If you're in the Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership - you already have access to this.

But if you're NOT a member - now you can get Project Miracle for just $33 USD! Get the details and grab your spot here.

+++++++++++

The majority of people who pay for coaching are using coaching for their business goals.

It makes sense - it’s an investment on your own income so you’re likely to get that money back, and more.

BUT

It also feeds into the capitalist machine, to only invest in the parts of you that make money.

And it skews the ways we grow as people, to focus so much on the parts of us that are profitable under our current system. (Just think! If we had different political and economic systems different parts of us might be more profitable!)

But no matter how you look at it - the parts of you that are profitable actually aren’t more relevant than your unprofitable parts.

ALL parts of you are worthy of support.

ALL of your dreams are worthy of support.

And I know how hard this is, in this economy! My husband left me very suddenly, during record inflation, right when my mortgage and condo feels also increased dramatically - and my cost of living tripled overnight. I get it.

AND

If we only invest in the dreams and ideas that seem profitable… who do we become?

And as our political and economic systems are falling apart… which parts of us can be a part of building better systems for the future?

And most importantly: WHAT MAKES ME REALLY FEEL ALIVE AND HOW DO I BRING MORE OF THIS INTO MY DAYS?

Just a few things I’ve been pondering, as I’ve been working on creative and activist projects that have nothing to do with my work. I am SO LUCKY to do work that does make me feel alive and feels meaningful and magical… but still, work can’t be my WHOLE THING.

Come dream with us

 

Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts about this or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

ALL of your dreams deserve support Read More »

The posts I share here are biased

Hey! Did you see Project Miracle is now open for registration?!?

If you're in the Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership - you already have access to this.

But if you're NOT a member - now you can get Project Miracle for just $33 USD! Get the details and grab your spot here.

+++++++++++

 

Some days I do my Creative Dream Practice, I meet my dream and journal and meditate and feel in alignment…

and then I just go my stuff.

I don’t write a post to share about it because there's not much to say.

It’s the days when I feel lost that I write more, because writing helps me find my way through AND I feel we need to normalize that we feel stuck OFTEN on the way to a dream. And that FEELING stuck is fine - just keep showing up and working with it.

So, don’t worry about me!

I’m sharing a lot of the harder stuff because I think this is more valuable to share. I'm actually having lots of good, creative days 🙂

With that said, here’s today’s post:

I just feel heavy and foggy today. I had a bike ride and coffee and journaling and I can’t shake this feeling.

So, taking heavy foggy into the Un-Sticking Station:

It shows up right away and says: I’m not heavy or foggy I am sad.

Oh, sweetheart, I’m so sorry. Here, let’s get you a cushy blanket and some tea and cookies. A big pillow to lean on. There’s so much to be sad about, this is so valid.

My sad self bursts into tears. I offer her Kleenex.

What can I do?

I kind of want to pull you under here, you know? Let’s just BE SAD ALL DAY.

OK, that feels like resistance speaking, not sadness.

I know, right? Interesting.

Can I talk to JUST sadness, with no resistance hiding behind it?

Hmmmm, sadness WITHOUT resistance. That’s interesting.

Are you able to separate yourself from resistance?

Resistance seems to LOVE to glom on to sadness and use it, like a curtain to hide behind.

That is interesting. AND annoying because right now I can’t separate them.

Sadness, do you want me to do these things I wanted to do today?

Oh yeah, I do. I think that doing these things help us not be sad.

And then there is this little whisper of “But it’s too hard, let’s not do it today”

Which invites the question: Are things harder for me to sort through because of the divorce OR are my life-long companions, resistance and self-doubt, using the divorce as a diversion, so they can take over?

Probably both.

Also, does it matter?

Come dream with us

 

Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

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The posts I share here are biased Read More »

The Waves

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But if you're NOT a member - now you can get Project Miracle for just $33 USD! Get the details and grab your spot here.

+++++++++++

 

I’m having a lot of WAVES lately.

Times when I feel so sure. Like, SO SURE. Completely confident that everything is going to work out like I am hoping it will. Super brave and clear-headed and focused and getting things done.

And then times when I feel so unsure. Like, SO FUCKING PAINFULLY SURE that it’s all going to fall apart and my life is over.

Sometimes I get caught in that undercurrent that it’s all bound to fail.

And sometimes I say “Oh honey, I’m so sorry you are feeling this way, even though yes of course you feel this way. Creative dreaming is such a brave way to live your life and it gets scary sometimes! So what can we do to help you feel better?”

THIS. IS. THE. PROCESS.

When we feel like SOMETHING IS WRONG when we feel this way - we shut down the process.

Everyone has these feelings.

Allowing them to come to the surface allows us to understand these parts of us better. It brings shadows out into the open.

In the open, we can heal and change and grow.

In the shadows, very little change is possible.

So, these intense waves I’ve been feeling are because I’m in such an intense time of growth.

They are a part of it.

So I am really trying to EMBRACE them.

Yes, sometimes I end up take over by them and that’s really uncomfortable.

AND if I can stay in the process - I can learn, shift perspectives, heal and grow.

This is the work.

I’m doing it.

(Reminder to self 😉

Come dream with us

 

Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

The Waves Read More »

I am already perfect, whole and complete.

creative dream mantra: I am already perfect, whole and complete

This is the mantra I got in this week’s Dream Book journaling + alchemy kit: I am already perfect, whole and complete.

Oh yes. Breathing this one in.

Creative visionaries can always see WHAT'S NEXT. We're always growing and looking at MORE growth.

This is so beautiful. AND. We need to stop looking towards the future and looking towards more, turn around, and notice just how beautiful and perfect we already are, right here where we are.

Creating dreaming IS NOT SELF IMPROVEMENT.

It is self actualization.

There is nothing to fix. There is always more to explore and create.

Come dream with us

 

Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

I am already perfect, whole and complete. Read More »

Self Coaching

At therapy last week I asked my therapist for help with something - something that is just feeling stuck and I am not sure what to do with it.

And she tossed it right back at me, lol.

She said “I think you have a lot of practices with your work, that work for this kind of thing. And usually when you feel stuck you make a commitment to show up and be with it every day until you work through it.”

She’s right. The times when I’ve been the most stuck, or wanted to make a big change that felt out of reach - I do a daily coaching session with myself. And I commit to keep doing the daily coaching until I reach a certain goal.

I am starting a new journal, and starting fresh with Dream Book, which is what I’ll do as the “self coaching”.

I feel so excited about keeping this up over the summer, when the early mornings are warm enough to bring a smoothie and an iced coffee to the park for journaling.

It’s so interesting to me that I was struggling SO HARD about getting into my Dream Book earlier this week, and now I am dreaming of making more space for it in my morning routines.

Like - I can't really explain how this LIGHTS ME UP to think of a summer of "Dream Book picnics" to start my day. I'm thinking of the different parks I'll go to. Wondering if I need to get new art supplies, lol.

I'm really looking forward to this, and having things to look forward to is SO IMPORTANT.

Come dream with us

 

Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

Self Coaching Read More »

OK haha I see why this was so hard

Yesterday I was writing about how “interesting” it is that it’s been SO HARD for me to work with my Dream Book.

And then… I did it.

I opened my Dream Book, set to make a new Dream Page.

And I re-read the 1 Dream Pages I had in there.

And… oh wow yes I see why it was so hard for me to open this journal.

When my husband left me in September, and then my step-son suddenly developed a life-threatening illness and was in the hospital for almost 4 months… I created a new Dream Page.

It was my fall/winter “liminal space dreams”.

I was dreaming of finding my way through all of this. I did the Dream Lab and saw myself crying a lot all winter… and then in the spring my tears would melt, and there would be a river there which I could float away on, to my new life.

And re-visiting this page is like WHOA. I found my way through SO MUCH.

And I am SO PROUD of how I did it. I updated this page with how I feel now, where I am now, and all the things I am so proud of myself for. I journaled about things I have learned, the ways that a divorce kind of throws all of your stuff at you and leaves you with no choice but to work through it on your own.

And I journaled about all the ways that I feel like a different person now, even though I am not “through” this and I am sure things will keep changing. (The best advice I got about divorce is to remember that your perspective will change, radically and often. So don’t assume that anything you think is REALLY what you think.)

Anyway, WHOA.

Dreams do touch on all of our most vulnerable places.

And so sometimes we need that space to resist and avoid, because deep down that’s how we are preparing.

Because when I finally did open this up and start to work with it, it felt like the right time. I don’t think I was ready any sooner.

*** And as long as we keep SHOWING UP and doing what we CAN do (like how I was doing “creative dream practice things” but was also avoiding opening my Dream Book) we will find our way through.

People tell me sometimes that they come to live calls, or watch replays, but don’t look at the Dream Book lessons, and they feel kind of sheepish about it. But there isn’t a “right way” to do any of this.

There are a lot of “ways in” because there is no “one way in”.

Just keep showing up!

Come dream with us

 

Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

OK haha I see why this was so hard Read More »

Looking For The Way In

I want a more ALIVE creative dream practice.

I want to feel more deeply connected to my dreams, and to the version of myself I want to become next.

I want to be deeper in my creative flow.

I have space for this. I can’t think of anything I need…

Except a WAY IN.

Because I am sitting here.

I pulled a tarot card.

I lit incense and a candle.

I’ve got a new sketchbook plus my journals and art supplies aplenty and…

I don’t know the way in.

I mean - this is what the Dream Book program is, lol. Ways in, prompts, starting points.

So what is the problem?

It’s hard to start.

It’s vulnerable and awkward.

This “new dream”… it’s kind of nebulous. I have named some parts of it but a lot of it feels unclear.

And I keep opening up my Dream Book to work on it and…

Well, is it resistance? Procrastination? Fear? Waiting for the “right time”?

I have coached SO MANY PEOPLE through this.

And yet I keep falling into it myself.

But of course I do!

THIS IS THE PROCESS.

This is how we get “ready” (in quotes because we’re always ready and rarely feel ready)

I AM IN THE PROCESS.

I made Dream Book the way I did, with all the short videos and step-by-step so that you can just DO ONE THING and those things will build on each other and at some point you’ll be in your flow with it…

I trust that.

AND

Somehow I am not doing it.

This is just such an interesting dynamic.

And here I am - I have a few hours set aside to do this and instead of doing it I am journaling about how interesting it it that I am NOT doing it.

This IS how we work through it.

By STAYING WITH it. Staying with the thoughts and feelings that come up when we’re NOT doing the thing we want to be doing.

THIS IS THE WORK.

Triangle Dream Compass

Remember the compass of Creative Dream Alchemy. So often we want Outer Work to be the direction we are focused on, but that’s just not where we are.

BEING where we ARE and doing the work that is there, is the way to get to where we want to be.

Which means my options right now are:

I am going to actually DO Dream Book. I’m on the website. I’m going to re-watch the video for The Dream Page and start a NEW Dream Page. the last few months I feel like I have refined my dreams and opened up to new ones, and I’m learning about what I want my life to look and feel like - and I want to capture all of this on a new Dream Page.

And whichever one you do remember: All you need is THE WAY IN.

You don't need to see the whole path.

All of these WAYS IN help you get into your Creative Dream Practice.

One you're IN IT - you'll see new options and possibilities.

Come dream with us

 

Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

Looking For The Way In Read More »

I am ready for bigger things

Mantra: I am ready for bigger things

This is the mantra I got in this week’s Dream Book journaling + alchemy kit: I am ready for bigger things.

First: Holy crap I am at WEEK TWENTY?! It’s hard to believe I’ve been doing this for 20 weeks. I love it.

I still feel like I “just started” re-doing all of these.

I AM READY FOR BIGGER THINGS.

It keeps amazing me how the right mantra finds me at the right time.

I am breathing this one in and it fills my body like helium… I feel light.

Like I can float up into bigger things, and not “work my ass off to get there” which is the vibe I can tend towards, if I am not intentional about HOW I am holding my intentions.

How does it feel to you?

This one can easily feel uncomfortable, and sitting with that discomfort can show you things that your dream wants you to know.

When it comes to “dreaming bigger” and “thinking bigger” our toxic culture impacts us in what the ways we define what is BIGGER and MORE VALUABLE.

Our creative dreams always want to bring us back to what is true for us.

So listen to YOU. Listen to YOUR dreams. No one else has to understand what “bigger things” is for you.

Leaving a high paying job and fancy life to life a more creative and fulfilling life can be “bigger”, you know?

Come dream with us

 

Dream Book members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

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I am ready for bigger things Read More »

Things won’t always go as planned, this is disappointing AND an opportunity to create something better

(I wrote this post a few weeks ago)

Seven years ago today, I got married. Today, I am not speaking to my husband. We are separated and plan to divorce, at the stage where getting the paperwork figured out feels like too much so just leaving it for now.

I honestly thought I was getting married for life, but here we are.

Things often don’t go as planned. I feel like we can’t say enough: it doesn’t matter what happens in your life YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE.

There is so much in our culture about this. So much judgement and shame and this unconscious push to try to make our lives look as perfect as possible. This is traumatizing.

Life is a mystery. The world is a mess. We’re all doing our best.

I’m finding such surprising gifts in the divorce process. My life is opening up in new ways. I’m turning 50 next week and feel so optimistic about this new chapter in my life.

AND it’s not what I’d planned or aimed for but… what if it’s better?

Re-reading this a week later:

That “It’s not what I’d planned or aimed for but… what if it’s better?” feels like SUCH A FUCKING CLICHE.

Like a pollyanna take on the pain of how disappointing it is sometimes, to go after a dream wholeheartedly and not have it work out.

Re-reading this a few days after that last update:

Last weekend I shared my birthday cake.

I am IN LOVE with how it turned out...

But it wasn’t what I had planned, lol!

My sister baked it - 5 layers of chocolate lavender cake and FIVE (!) batches of icing, so I’d have plenty to play with. She helped me dye the icing 6 different colours.

I piped different shapes all over the cake, in every colour of the rainbow except purple. I saved purple for last.

The purple was in a larger bag with a larger tip, and I piped this thick purple ribbon over the thick, multi-textured piped rainbow of icing…. and then this purple ribbon was too heavy, and pulled the rainbows of icing off the cake as it slide down the sides.

Yikes!

I had a flash inspiration of a “rainbow galaxy” smear of all of this thick icing. It felt like when I am doing intuitive painting and I tend to smear colours together a lot, like I am letting them play with each other.

So I grabbed a knife and did it.

There were big hunks of icing falling down which I piled on top of the cake as I spread out the sides to create this rainbow gradient kind of thing.

Then I had quite a bit of yellow in a bag with a nice thin piping tip so I added the yellow lines and….

It FELT like I wanted this cake to feel.

The original piped shapes, which were sooooo cuuuuuute, didn’t quite have the ZING of it feeling the way I wanted it to feel.

So, my cake was a disaster for a second there and then it did end up turning out better than I’d hoped.

My sister said: “It’s like your life! It fell apart but with the magic of creativity you turned it into something better!”

And now I am remembering that this is actually NOT Pollyanna at all.

This means FACING and BEING WITH the disappointment. Working with it and growing through it, to find your next step.

Accepting that disappointment is a companion on the path, and learning how to find the lessons and opportunities in it.

(Creative Dream Incubator members: there is an alchemy process for working with disappointment, right here. It's three videos with two different journaling sheets, for different ways of working with disappointment)

Come dream with us

 

Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

Things won’t always go as planned, this is disappointing AND an opportunity to create something better Read More »

I can’t take this step today

Some of the steps towards a dream are boring and some are scary. Sometimes you need to be your BRAVEST and MOST ALIGNED SELF to take a step, and sometimes, that step comes along on a way when you are not that version of you. Not even close. That’s where I am today.

So. What am I going to do?

I feel upset that I can’t do the thing I want to do but when I look at it, my head hurts. I am so far away from the version of me who can do it.

Can I accept that I feel upset about not being able to do it AND accept that I feel really really off today? Like the opposite of brave and aligned?

Those two feelings are conflicting a bit. The uncomfortable feeling and then the resistance to the uncomfortable feeling.

In this moment, all I know is that pushing myself is not the answer.

If I can’t seem to access any other answers, can I try to access another question?

It comes to mind immediately: What do I need?

I wrote this a few weeks ago.

Coming back to it today I am thinking of how the step that’s in front of us is not always the step we want to take.

I had an Outer Work step I had WANTED to take on that day, but the actual step that was in front of me to take was Inner Work.

My taking THAT step, and doing the Inner Work that was in front of me to do, I brought myself closer to being able to take the Outer Work step that I wanted to take.

We do tend to want to focus on certain steps, and totally ignore/avoid others but the path only works if we take ALL the steps.

Come dream with us

 

Dream Book members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

I can’t take this step today Read More »

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