journaling

The Obstacle Is The Way Through Alchemy Meditation

I'm feeling completely stuck with my current obstacle, so I did The Obstacle Is The Way Through alchemy meditation.

First thoughts: FUCK I HATE THIS

I feel nervous and unsettled and like no I do not want to meet this obstacle, I just want it gone. I am making lots of space for my discomfort before I even get to that part in the audio, lol.

OK, it’s very nice to have my discomfort be validated.

Inviting my dream in… it’s this soft bellied round bird. Snuggly. A snuggly bird? Kind of like my cat, it sits beside me and I put my hand on it. It feels reassuring in one sense, but I also feel acutely aware of the parts of me who feel this dream is impossible, and the parts of me who judge me for feeling incapable.

I turn off the recording and just sit with that. It’s SO hard to move forward with something with these conflicting thoughts and feelings inside.

Then I made a journal page about that.

Now back to the meditation.

I was SO enjoying being in the field of creative dream alchemy that I was no longer paying attention when it got to the obstacle part. LOL hello resistance!

Backing up, coming back to invite the obstacle in.

The obstacle I am working with is this feeling/experience that NOTHING WORKS

The meditation gets so trippy here and I turn off the audio again to be with it.

My obstacle is a black box with a HUGE gravitational force. I hold onto it and I’m kind of like floating upside down, like it’s pulling me downward, and it feels like we could go downward forever while I’m in this handstand.

I try to let go but the gravitational force is still there. The box is up against my face and then starts to stretch and grow and unfurl around me, thinner but still feels like metal. Like the box is stretching out. It surrounds me and I ask what it wants and it wants to hold me here.

And I’m like What? Why?

And then I see a glitch like the scene could change, like I could build stairs out of the metal to build my way out…

Sure enough now there are tools beside me and I get the sense I could use this metal that's all around me to build a staircase that leads to where I want to be.

But WHY carry me so far down, so that I need to build a staircase?

I go back to the meditation. Now I feel SO RELIEVED to hear the parts about energy shifting from simply being with the obstacle.

Maybe my question about why the black box took me so low down isn’t relevant.

I feel like I have a lot of tools here, and a lot of metal, I can build a nice bridge.

Hmmmm, it felt like “staircase” before and now it feels like “bridge”

I love the idea of a bridge.

How can I and my obstacle work together to get to my dream?

Build a bridge.

Oh…

I mean… duh yes that’s what all of this is. Having a Creative Dream Practice builds a bridge to where you want to be.

AND

Something about it, this obstacle in particular, feels like an opportunity.

Will keep exploring.

Come dream with us
Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

The Obstacle Is The Way Through Alchemy Meditation Read More »

Evidence

HAVING the dream is actually evidence of being CAPABLE of making it happen. 

Your dream chose you. And it chose you NOW.

And dreaming of doing this thing is a sign that NOW IS THE TIME.

You have everything you need.

I know it won't always look or feel that way. But you DO have everything you need to take your next step, and that step leads to next and the next and the next.

HAVING the dream is actually evidence of being CAPABLE of making it happen.

Come dream with us
Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

Evidence Read More »

Inner work makes the dream work. 

Today is Your Self Doubt Is Not Yours You Deserve To Believe In Yourself!

Call details are here for Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Members.

Or if you're not a member you can sign up just for this call here.

Holy shit you guys. 

My classes are always energy workings. I do a lot of work with the energy before the actual event and the energy work ahead of the event is often difficult...

But this one has been absolutely batshit. 

Self doubt has been a lifelong companion for me and I can’t even put into words how much self doubt I have overcome to be where I am today and yet….

here it still is. 

And this next layer of it is just fierce. 

I used to think of self doubt as being… timid, mousy, afraid to speak up about anything. A heavy foggy thing holding me back.

But this self doubt that's showing up right now is none of those things.

It’s vicious and it’s an absolute warrior.

If I had a client share this experience with me I would congratulate them because this kind of total shift in how you experience a thing means you’ve come to the next level with it.

It’s a good thing!

Next level inner work doesn’t show up until you’re ready for it.

Of course you felt like you’ve dealt with your self doubt - you HAVE dealt with your self doubt, loads of it... 

AND here is this next level of the work, calling you in. 

I'm so excited to explore this with you.

Come dream with us
Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

Inner work makes the dream work.  Read More »

I welcome more joy + magic into my life

This is the mantra I got in this week’s Dream Book journaling + alchemy kit: I welcome more joy + magic into my life

Use the meditation for the weekly mantras to dig in deeper to the mantra, or put your hands on your heart and take five deep slow breaths and repeat to yourself:

I welcome more joy + magic into my life.

Notice where this lands in your body, what thoughts and feelings get sparked.

There is no right or wrong way to react. But your actual thoughts and feelings can tell you something about what you need right now.

How it lands for me: a big YAAAAAASSSSSS.

Like seriously YES. I NEED THIS.

I can feel all the doors inside being flung open to let ALL the joy + magic in.

I feel the things that have been hard just... not mattering as much. And also the parts of me who are holding onto the hard stuff also feel softened by joy and magic.

It's this feeling/energy that's been growing over the last few months. I am ready to be in the BIG SHINY MAGIC. I don't think I've seen much of that since 2020. Like - bits here and there. Magic and healing and possibility are always with us... AND... now it feels like time for MORE.

And under that I think of all the things I can do to INVITE this in.

What are good habits, for welcoming more joy + magic into my life?

A lot of them are the same as good habits for my mental and physical health, good self care... but I think there's more to explore there, too.

If you want to work on this with me:

If I welcome more joy + magic into my life feels good and encouraging, hold it with you today. Look at problems, questions, stucks and obstacles through this lens and see what ideas it brings.

If it brings up some discomfort - that’s your stuff to work on today. To do that work, in the Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership we’ve got the un-sticking station and the library of inner work practices. If you’re not sure what practice to use, you can email me, or post in our forum, let me know what’s going on and I will make some suggestions for tools you can use.

Come dream with us

 

Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

I welcome more joy + magic into my life Read More »

I am panicking

I've been MIRED in self doubt the last few weeks.

This is how it works for me, when I am creating something new I am IN IT. So as I am creating Your Self Doubt Is Not Yours You Deserve To Believe In Yourself I've been MIRED in self doubt because I need to be this intimately up close with how painful and limiting it is.

Self doubt limits possibilities in ways that we DO NOT see. Even though we are self aware and doing the inner work - still, we can't see these limits that self doubt puts on us.

AND we can keep working on it! Each time we do the work we uncover new possibilities.

Self doubt also creates other unconformable feelings. And on the day I wrote this post, it was making me PANIC.

My brain has too many things to focus on.

TOO MUCH KEEPS HAPPENING!!!

I NEED THE MUCH TO STOP!! So that I can do the things I need/want to do.

Also, I do not want to do the things in a state of panic.

So. Sitting with that....

Well, I need to meet panic in the Un-Sticking Station and see what we can do.

Hello panic.

The ball of light in the meditation feels like a diamond and it opens up and invites me right in.

I curl up inside. Feeling creativity, light and knowing swirling around me, like a blanket. I feel so safe.

I don’t feel safe when I am panicking. So I must not be panicking right now, in the diamond of creativity, light and knowing. 

I do feel so grounded and stabilized once I get to that part in the meditation... The meditation feels really intense today. I turn it off when I get to the part where I invite the panic in.

Inviting panic into this diamond of creativity, light and knowing feels strange.

Panic doesn’t know how to act. I mean - it’s ungrounded and I feel SO grounded in here.

It’s this tiny thing, jumping around.

I pick it up and cuddle it.

“Listen I am so sorry you are feeling this way! But you cannot make ME panic, too. We need to work together to stop you panicking.”

Panic just looks at me with these big eyes, I can tell it has no clue how to not panic.

And suddenly I start crying.

I feel, really FEEL, how far away I am from the person I want to be. Like my life feels to noisy, too overwhelming.

Now the field of Creative Dream Alchemy is a meadow on a spring day. Gorgeous. Flowery. Welcoming.

I feel so safe and validated, I just lay here and cry.

(At this point, I go lay down to have a little cry)

Then I try to comfort my crying self.

"Oh sweetheart I’m so sorry you are so upset. I’m so sorry you feel this way. What can I do?"

And suddenly I know, all of this sadness is the core of the panic.

I remember seeing my doctor, how she made me realize that my perimenopause symptoms are worse than I thought, like I was minimizing my discomfort. I’ve needed more help for a while, and that is a difficult thing to realize.

AND. I have more help now.  So - I am getting the help I need now. AND this makes me so sad for much I’ve needed more help.

This happens!

Once we get the help we need, we sometimes grieve for our past selves who didn’t have it.

I sit with this, and the sadness starts to swirl into panic.

I take slow, deep breaths. I give myself some time….

OK panic. I’m so sorry you are upset, do you want to tell me why you’re panicking?

It’s just that too much is happening and we’re not organized and we want to do all these things but we have no plan! We’re just hoping to feel motivated and clear-headed and we really can’t rely on those things.

What would you like to rely on?

A simple but solid plan. Think it all through ONCE and don’t have to keep thinking it through each day to figure out the next steps.

That makes sense AND I wonder if there’s something more under that. Are you trying to plan everything out to control what happens to feel safe?

Yes of course!!!!

OK, I want you to feel safe. I think making a plan makes sense. AND we can’t try to 100% control everything in order to feel safe, you know?

Are you asking me to trust?

Kind of?

That’s too much right now.

Yeah, that makes sense. We can put a pin in trust and work on a plan for now.

Thank you.

Feeling so much less panicked now. Ready to make a cup of tea and get on with this plan... actually I know things ARE planned out in my project management app, it's just that my inner selves never seem to be able to see it there.

I'm going to write it all out in my journal, that helps me to see it all written out in my handwriting.

Also... did we put a pin in trust or is that what I am REALLY working on as I work on this plan?

Come dream with us
Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

I am panicking Read More »

Believing in myself…

Believing in myself…

as in believing that I can be the version of myself who can do the thing I want to do next…

YIKES.

Sometimes - YES! I feel it.

Right now it’s just yikes.

And this is the practice.

To keep bringing myself back to the place of believing in it because if I don’t fully believe it, that makes it much harder for me to make it happen.

You act different when you believe in yourself fully. And those are the actions that get you there. 

It’s not necessarily that you take huge risks because you believe they’ll pan out. You can act more confidently AND take little steps AND mitigate risk along the way. Often, when you really believe in yourself it doesn’t feel so risky anyway because you trust the little steps.

But, here I am today, not really feeling it.

I’m also not feeling LACK of believing in myself, or whatever the opposite of believing in myself is. I just feel tired and kind of foggy.

So I ask: does my tired and foggy self know how to do this? Like, can I be tired and foggy AND making little bits of progress every day?

What comes to mind is embroidery. That first winter when I decided to try embroidering things into my clothes. It took a while to get into it! But as I started taking steps, as in: firming up the pattern, drawing it out to figure out exactly how I wanted to do it, getting embroidery thread in all the colours, gathering needles and scissors with the thread.... eventually momentum took over.

The act of DOING helped energize me.

I wasn't energized FIRST, and then the doing happened.

This is so connected to the explorations around motivation I am doing in my Dream Book right now.

I mean - it's easier to believe in myself in this way when I see myself taking consistent steps.

It's all a loop.

I'm so excited to explore this in

Your Self Doubt Is Not Yours You Deserve To Believe In Yourself

✨healing circle for releasing self doubt

✨community spell for all of us to believe in ourselves, deeply and fully

✨guided journal for integrating the healing + magic.

JOIN US HERE!!

Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members get the call details here. 

Come dream with us
Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

Believing in myself… Read More »

I am determined to succeed

This is the mantra I got in this week’s Dream Book journaling + alchemy kit: I am determined to succeed

Use the meditation for the weekly mantras to dig in deeper to the mantra, or put your hands on your heart and take five deep slow breaths and repeat to yourself:

I am determined to succeed

Notice where this lands in your body, what thoughts and feelings get sparked.

There is no right or wrong way to react. But your actual thoughts and feelings can tell you something about what you need right now.

How it lands for me: a flickering in my belly.

There's a lot there, determination YES and confidence YES and also... the fears.

This dovetails so nicely with my current explorations about MOTIVATION.

Being told by my doctor that a lack of motivation is a perimenopause symptom, and a common one that goes with my particular cluster of symptoms, noticing all the different things that can and do motivate...

I am starting a page in my Dream Book (that Dream Book lesson comes out around month 9 so you might not have access to it yet) about motivation: where does it come from, where do I want it to come from, what might help with that, what other thoughts come to mind about motivation... just get it all out on one page and see what's needed.

If you want to work on this with me:

If I am determined to succeed feels good and encouraging, hold it with you today. Look at problems, questions, stucks and obstacles through this lens and see what ideas it brings.

If it brings up some discomfort - that’s your stuff to work on today. To do that work, in the Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership we’ve got the un-sticking station and the library of inner work practices. If you’re not sure what practice to use, you can email me, or post in our forum, let me know what’s going on and I will make some suggestions for tools you can use.

Come dream with us

 

Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

I am determined to succeed Read More »

This weekend was the first anniversary of the end of my marriage. 

I had decided not to share this, lol. And then I decided to share this because I see other people breaking up or contemplating it, and I see people with dreams that fall apart and they're in the place where they don't know how to put anything back together and I was remembering how that felt and I wanted to share this story from the other side of all of that.

This year has been intense!

I have maybe learned more about myself this year, than any other year of my life and that is really saying something!

So I wanted to mark this anniversary. That morning I rode my bike downtown for my favourite breakfast treat, the Everything Bagel Doughnut, and ate it in the park with my journals, but didn’t feel like journaling. It was a gorgeous morning and I just sat there, appreciating EVERYTHING.

Then I meal prepped roast veggie salads for the week, cleaned up the loft, got my art supplies organized because my dreams told me to MAKE MORE ART this week, and did laundry including washing my bedding. 

That night I was going to a potluck + bonfire at my friend's farm and I wanted to come home to a tidy place, a fridge full of nutrient dense yummies (seeing mason jar salads in the fridge make my heart happy, and the lettuce stays crisp all week that way) and fresh clean sheets on the bed.

I did tell my friends that it was the anniversary.

They were supportive. They listened to what I wanted to say about it.

Lots of "you're better off"s. No shade to my ex, but everyone is better off not being with someone who would just walk out on them like that.

In the car, once we were on our way home, my friend asked "So how was it for you?" and I was like "How was what?" and she said "The anniversary" and I had forgotten all about it.

That's a moment I wish I could have sent to myself-from-a-year-ago.

I love the way I treat myself now.

All the ways I had been pouring into my marriage, I now pour into just me. And it’s awesome.

All the things I wanted my husband to give me, now I give to me, and it’s awesome.

Including the things I didn’t even realize I was wanting from him, until sorting through my feelings in the breakup! Which is part of the miracle of this last year, it feels like so many things that I wanted actually came to me, but in completely different form from what I was expecting.

I’m not saying divorce is easy. But I am truly appreciating where I am now.

In a lot of ways, it is an opportunity to have a whole new life. 

And in my situation, my outer life didn't change all that much. I didn't move. I didn't change jobs, or suddenly have to get a job. I do have some financial pressure that wasn't there before. And my goals shifted a little. But I know that I was lucky to have a LOT of stability during my divorce that not everyone has.

AND STILL it feels like a whole new life.

It seems so small to say it this way but it's huge.

Really BEING IN the wreckage of things falling apart is a transformative experience.

I see it all the time with people and their dreams - things fall apart in a HUGE way, and it's so painful and terrifying. Like a dream falling apart really can be an existential crisis.

But when we can BE WITH the immensity and depth of of that moment, we are transformed by it.

So, I woke up the next morning, in my freshly washed bed in my tidy home.

I could smell the fire on my clothes from the night before.

My heart felt so light.

Fuck yeah! I love my life.

Come dream with us

 

Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

This weekend was the first anniversary of the end of my marriage.  Read More »

Healing Circle + Guided Journal: Your self doubt is not yours you deserve to believe in yourself

We all know that self doubt is a raging epidemic among us sensitive creative types.

We all have it... AND YET... we also all seem to feel alone in it?

And worse - we BLAME OURSELVES for it.

Self doubt is often experienced as some kind of personal failing. Like if you were worth believing in 100% then you'd be doing it. That's not true.

Self doubt is NOT a personal failing... Self Doubt is CULTURAL

You learned it from the culture you grew up in.

It's not yours.

It was given to you without your consent, and you can give it back.

That's what we're going to work on in Your Self Doubt Is Not Yours You Deserve To Believe In Yourself.

This is a:

✨healing circle for releasing self doubt

✨community spell for all of us to believe in ourselves, deeply and fully

✨guided journal for integrating the healing + magic.

This is included in the Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership - members can get the details here.

It's also open for registration outside of the membership - here.

Come dream with us

 

Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

Healing Circle + Guided Journal: Your self doubt is not yours you deserve to believe in yourself Read More »

I’m stuck again

I actually just had a few days of feeling really good and sure. I’ve got this head cold so I am not moving as fast as I’d like to, but I didn’t feel stuck…

Until today, when I have time and space to take these next steps with the creative work and my mind just goes blank.

It’s a familiar blank. Like a haze that sets in when it’s time to be brave and sure of myself.

Bringing the haze into the Un-Sticking Station.

Hi haze.

Haze is a summer day, hot and muggy and let’s just lay around and read novels.

Yeah I am totally down to lay around and read novels! That’s awesome. AND this project is awesome too. It’s not actually muggy in here, it’s air conditioned and comfortable and I really could get to work for a bit…. what do you think?

Haze doesn’t want to think.

OK, I respect that. Can you tell me why you’re here?

It’s summer.

Yeah, but why are you in my head, right here right now when I want to get to work?

Oh! To stop you.

I see that. Why do you want to stop me?

I have something better for you.

Is it rest?

Yup!

Hmmmm

How can you and I work together on this thing? Like, I am open to this not looking or feeling like work… I notice that I’ve been doing A LOT of creative work in that journal and you aren’t wanting to stop me from that.

No, that’s awesome! I love that project.

OK, so how do we make this project just as fun?

Well for starters, you are trying to TYPE this project, and that project is painting and drawing.

But that’s not even true, a huge part of this project is drawing - just on the tablet, not in a journal.

No, you’re PLANNING OUT the drawing by TYPING on the keyboard. It’s all too… uck. Plan. Type. Boring.

So if I draw and paint the exact same thing in my journal, then it would be ok with you?

That, and - make a cup of iced tea. And sit at the art table to do this.

OK. Iced tea. Art Table. Drawing/painting these ideas into a journal instead of typing them on a laptop. And that would make this project work for you? No haze then?

And put your headphones on with meditation music.

OK let’s go try this…

 

++++

(Yes, it worked)

Come dream with us

 

Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

I’m stuck again Read More »

Life is on my side

This is the mantra I got in this week’s Dream Book journaling + alchemy kit: Life is on my side

Use the meditation for the weekly mantras to dig in deeper to the mantra, or put your hands on your heart and take five deep slow breaths and repeat to yourself:

Life is on my side.

Notice where this lands in your body, what thoughts and feelings get sparked.

There is no right or wrong way to react. But your actual thoughts and feelings can tell you something about what you need right now.

How it lands for me: first a spark of discomfort and then my body opens up and accepts this deep unconditional support.

The discomfort is that I don't think we can think about this without the lens of privilege and intersectionality. When I say LIFE I mean THE UNIVERSE which is a mystery. But when we think LIFE we often think of THE WORLD and the culture we live in and that life is only on your side to the extent that you conform to dominant culture.

Like: are you white, male, straight, cis, never been sick a day in your life, will never be disabled and were born into a nice family that had a lot of generational wealth? Then sure it's easy to say that life is on your side because it IS.

As a straight white cis woman who has been lucky about her health until perimenopause although is likely neurodivergent and masking has taken a LOT of energy of the years, who wasn't born into a lot of money but did have a stable home life in my childhood, life is on my side in ways that it's not for a lot of other people. And I want to be aware of that and use my privilege mindfully.

And that's not what this is.

LIFE as in the universe is on your side because it is you.

That's how this feels.

I don't have words for any of this, it's not cognitive.

But it feels like freedom.

And it feels like... life is so POWERFUL and dominant culture and all the obstacles it puts between us and our dreams feel so tiny and powerless in comparison.

And I can draw on that power.

I am alive and I am a part of life. Life wants me to grow, life is always cheering for life.

If you want to work on this with me:

If Life is on my side feels good and encouraging, hold it with you today. Look at problems, questions, stucks and obstacles through this lens and see what ideas it brings.

If it brings up some discomfort - that’s your stuff to work on today. To do that work, in the Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership we’ve got the un-sticking station and the library of inner work practices. If you’re not sure what practice to use, you can email me, or post in our forum, let me know what’s going on and I will make some suggestions for tools you can use.

Come dream with us

 

Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

Life is on my side Read More »

You are ALIVE and that is COMPLICATED

This is aside from all of the complexities of creative dreaming… It’s really complicated and exhausting just to take good care of ourselves!

Especially if you're sensitive. And especially as we get older. And especially for people with chronic illness or neurodivergence. And especially if you have other people you are taking care of... there are so many ways that this is just complicated and exhausting.

Sometimes it’s hard to be in the moment AND know how to best take care of ourselves.

This is why noticing patterns and building routines around self care is so helpful for me.

Being in peri-menopuase, everything I knew about how to take good care of myself at various stages of my cycle has been obliterated.

Now it’s like - oh wow I am so worn out and overwhelmed by everything today. What does this mean? What do I need?

AND THEN I have to figure it out with my most overwhelmed brain.

Not fun.

But creative dreaming can’t really happen when we can’t take good care of ourselves as we are.

Self care and creative dreaming will always be linked.

So, for me, for today, figuring how the fuck to take of myself when I am SO overwhelmed and tired and crabby and have no freaking clue what I want - this IS my dream work.

What I am saying with this post is: Those days when all you can do is try to take care of yourself - you’re not failing!

This work serves your dreams, too.

We can be SO FAST to discount this work but it’s VITAL.

You need a solid foundation to dream from.

Giving yourself this solid foundation may take more time/work than you want it to. But it is VITAL for your dreams, and yourself today.

Come dream with us

 

Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

You are ALIVE and that is COMPLICATED Read More »

It doesn’t happen how we think it will

Starting about three years ago, I was dreaming up "my life in my 50s" (I turned 50 in May)

There were all these things I wanted to be different and it just FELT SO DIFFERENT to think of myself in my 50s.

I had forgotten about all of that dreaming though.

My husband left me a year ago. When my 50th came it's like... whoa I'm turning 50, starting a whole new decade, in the middle of a divorce I didn't see coming. Everything was changing and there was a lot of exciting and beautiful things happening but it was also just really hard to feel like I was starting over at this age.

(As if it's easier at any other age?)

But now, looking back to all of the dreaming of "life in my 50s" I was doing... the creativity and spaciousness is what stands out and... I HAVE THAT NOW.

A divorce is NOT how I was thinking it would happen. But here it is.

I don't think I manifested the divorce of course. But, also of course, I recognize that I participated in it .

And I said loads of times.... I am no expert in dreaming with another person. My therapist stresses to me that my partner and I really did give each other a lot of space to be who we are, that we can be proud of that. But still - it was harder to move forward with some things I wanted while in that marriage. Though in saying that I should also recognize that there were things I was receiving in that marriage that I just don't have now.

AND there are compromises everywhere! I knew what I was choosing and don't regret it.

AND hindsight is 20/20!

So I just want to kind of marvel about how I AM FEELING THE WAY I WANTED MY LIFE IN MY 50s TO FEEL.

Those dreams are here, in that way.

I don't have all of the external parts, but I do have some of them. And I FEEL THE WAY I WANT TO FEEL IN MY LIFE. That is A LOT.

Come dream with us

 

Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

It doesn’t happen how we think it will Read More »

Sending love to my fear

I have a plan for what I want to do next.

It feels really solid. I am considering the things that have not been working, I looked into WHY those things are not working, and came up with ideas for addressing that.

It feels like the kind of plan where - I have taken a lot of steps, many of which have not gotten me the results I wanted, but I have taken SO MANY steps that I have learned so much from those steps - and now I am applying all of that into making a different plan.

I feel really good about it.

Or, I DID feel really good about it until I felt totally panicked.

Suddenly my brain was flooded with the reasons why this is bound to fail.

And I felt stressed, pressured, helpless, discouraged and sad.

It was a lot, and I wasn’t able to instantly use the Un-Sticking Station to turn it around.

So I focused on self care. Taking care of upset self in the moment AND looking at “what can I do to make tomorrow a better day?”

That was yesterday. And today is a little better.

I’m sitting with my fear, offering it love. It feels calmer though still present, I had hoped it would just kind of dissolve in the love.

How do we do this together?

The part of me who is excited about this plan and the part of me who is afraid.

My eyes land on the tarot card on my desk. Yesterday I had picked a card to help me get started with this plan this week and I got 8 of pentacles. It’s saying KEEP GOING.

I think that’s the answer. Keep going… with both. Take steps, implement the plan AND keep meeting the fears/anxiety that comes up.

And suddenly I remember… this only happens EVERY TIME I start with something new.

The moment where the rubber really meets the road, all the fears and doubts get stirred up and I feel like I don’t know what I am doing.

So - go slow, self care, soothing fears AND taking little steps. As long as I keep showing up, I’ll find creative flow again…

Come dream with us

 

Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

Sending love to my fear Read More »

What I seek is seeking me

This is the mantra I got in this week’s Dream Book journaling + alchemy kit: What I seek is seeking me.

Use the meditation for the weekly mantras to dig in deeper to the mantra, or put your hands on your heart and take five deep slow breaths and repeat to yourself:

What I seek is seeking me.

Notice where this lands in your body, what thoughts and feelings get sparked.

There is no right or wrong way to react. But your actual thoughts and feelings can tell you something about what you need right now.

How it lands for me: like warm honey. Sparkling and healing.

Like microscopic bits of PRESSURE that were floating around in me are getting stuck in the honey and disarmed by it.

It's not all on me.

My dream is my PARTNER. And the whole universe is my ALLY. So yes I can take the pressure off of ME to figure it all out and then also do it all.

I am not alone in this.

And then a new awareness rises... how can I make myself more visible to my dream?

If it's seeking me, how do I make me easier to find?

Well... daily Dream Lab meetings. Visualizing. And taking consistent steps towards it. Something about consistency feels so important to me lately. Not necessarily DAILY or even REGULAR but consistent.

If you want to work on this with me:

If What I seek is seeking me feels good and encouraging, hold it with you today. Look at problems, questions, stucks and obstacles through this lens and see what ideas it brings.

If it brings up some discomfort - that’s your stuff to work on today. To do that work, in the Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership we’ve got the un-sticking station and the library of inner work practices. If you’re not sure what practice to use, you can email me, or post in our forum, let me know what’s going on and I will make some suggestions for tools you can use.

Come dream with us

 

Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

What I seek is seeking me Read More »

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