journaling

A convoluted conversation with resistance where resistance makes me take my own medicine

Hi resistance. I feel so lost today.

Resistance is a little sleepy and confused (like me, actually). You’re reaching out to me about this?

Well I’m not sure who else to reach out to?

I mean - your wisest self, bravest self, most energized self, most creative self… there are lots of yous who are equipped to help with this. I’m an interesting choice.

Yeah. But you’re who came to mind, so - I feel lost today. What do you think?

Is LOST really the best description? If BEING WITH helps us MOVE THROUGH and staying vague and not present is a way to make everything harder… which are you doing when you say you’re lost?

The second one. More specifically I feel anxious, and tired, and spacey, and like why bother doing anything anyway when everything is so hard?

What’s hard?

Silence.

Because I saw you getting ready for the day. Picking out clothes, packing your stuff for the coffee shop, excited about your projects. I see your life, and how things are actually going really well for you. So what’s hard?

I just feel like I’m in quicksand this morning.

Which is what resistance feels like.

Yup. This feels so convoluted because I feel like I am me, and you are my resistance - only I’m the one in resistance? But this is what I mean about how I feel today. Everything is all screwed up. I can’t even talk to my own self without it being all convoluted.

Oh honey. She gives me a hug and I start to cry. Your feelings are valid, you know. Everything I said about things going well, that’s all true, and it doesn’t mean you won’t have a lot of uncomfortable feelings anyway.

Yeah. Ugh. Now my back is hurting, I hate this chair.

Resistance rubs my back.

OK obviously I miss having a really affectionate partner. I don’t get hugs and backrubs and this sucks.

Yes, sweetie, that sucks.

Ok acknowledging that feels better. It feels so tangly because I also don’t want a partner right now.

Yeah for sure! So where are you at now?

I guess the work I want to do feels HEAVY and BIG and I feel weak and small in comparison. Oh I guess heavy is the wrong word. It feels out of reach.

And isn't this exactly what you help people do? Do the things that feel out of reach?

Yeah.

So what are the tools you would suggest for this situation?

Oh wow, resistance is going to make me take my own medicine.

OK here are the tools I would suggest:

Making your trust in your dream bigger than your fears.

Dream Self process

Dream Lab to ask the dream what you should do today.

Alchemy Process for working with overwhelm

Alchemy process for getting answers from your dream

Alchemy process for acclimating to your dream

I mean there are more actually but any of these would work. Though of course we should mention the video for when you’re in resistance.

"So what are you going to do?" Resistance asks.

Alchemy process for getting answers from your dream

My question is: I want to feel energized and creative and I want to be doing things! You know a huge part of my dream right now is simply acting on all of this inspiration but my progress is soooo sloooooow. How do I get there?

All of my anxiety and tangled feelings are here with me in the meditation. Feels good to include them and not try pretend to be somewhere I’m not.

The field of creative dream alchemy feels like spring. A meadow full of flowers, soft light. My mood shifts so much through the grounding and connecting parts.

My dream shows up as a blue bird. Like a cartoon super bright blue birds. Oh there are a whole bunch of them! Maybe I’m Snow White? They fly around me. But as they do, they are guiding me out of the meadow, onto a path in the woods.

The birds are flying and moving. In circles often, but also they are getting somewhere. In the part of the meditation where I talk about how the dream shows up in the meditation I get it - my dream is showing me to JUST GET MOVING.

Laying in the field of flowers is great and important and we should do it every day AND ALSO let’s get on the path and get moving, let’s do that every day too.

I have to pause the meditation often, to be with my own experience without my voice in my ears.

I give my question to the birds and they can’t quite hold it. It’s too heavy. There is this struggle and it’s like - I can’t be fully connected to my dream AND be in this question.

The question starts to lighten up and I look more closely and see some bees are there, pouring honey on it.

It’s getting sweeter and lighter.

Now the birds can carry it. And they put it at the top of a very tall tree.

And I get this whole new idea: A notebook of SELF CARE PROTOCOLS.

Like: if I wake up feeling lost: this is what I do.

When I feel anxious: this is what I do.

Etc.

I mean, I have had SO MANY versions of this so many times in my life.

I need a new one for where I am now.

I sit with this and realize - I am still operating on some pre-pandemic protocols. The thing where getting up and GETTING MOVING helps me get into the mindset I want/need to be in for my work. My pre-pandemic self almost always had the ability to get myself moving no matter how lost or heavy I felt on any given morning.

What if I be sweet to myself, and recognize that who I am today today doesn’t have that ability?

Like sure, do that when I can because it works for me!

But on the days when I can’t - what’s the protocol then? I need clear plans or else my mood takes over planning my day and that will never go well.

I’ve been sitting with this question and only one idea is coming to me: make art. Make myself a latte, and a smoothie or whatever food I feel like, put on comfy clothes, get my art box and big sketchbook journal, put on soothing music, lay on the floor and make art. Express my feelings.

OK this feels embarrassing.

I mean - this is nothing I don’t already know about myself.

BUT/AND

Some days we can’t access the things we know.

Some days we can’t be our “best selves”.

And since I am in the process of planning calls for 2024 - I am going to do one on creating self care protocols for those times when you are not at your best.

Update: I added that call to the library!

I added 4 new calls this week:

Feb 15: Exploring Resistance and Creative Flow

March 12: Taking Inner Work Deeper

April 9: Letting Your Dream Come To You Instead of Chasing After It

May 15: Creating Self Care Protocols That Help You Be The Version Of You Who Can Do Your Dream

Come dream with us

 

Dream Book members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

A convoluted conversation with resistance where resistance makes me take my own medicine Read More »

For When Your Dream Falls Apart

In the fall, when everything in my life felt so hard, I was looking forward to winter.

I love winter anyway, but this year I was really craving the quiet and stillness of it.

The magic of sleeping in a bit and still being able to walk to the coffee shop during the sunrise.

The spaciousness of early sunsets and quiet evenings at home.

And how magic and spaciousness are so healing for me.

Last night I was lying in bed, and my furnace kicked on.

My heart actually exploded in gratitude. I wanted to cry. I was so amazed and grateful that I have my own furnace. It’s only job is to keep me warm.

I felt so loved and safe.

Just from having a furnace. The same furnace I’ve been glad to have, but mostly taken for granted for years.

And I thought about how much I love everything about my home, not just the furnace, how I am not taking it for granted. Something about going through a divorce has me more present with all of the things I love about my life.

There is magic in a breakup because there is healing in a breakup.

And as long as I stay present with my feelings, not denying the hard parts but also not wallowing in them - I get to have all of this magic, too.

My life feels bigger. I feel bigger. Possibility feels bigger.

And it’s so wild to me since I didn’t choose this divorce. But I feel healed and freed by it, too.

And I want to add - in therapy we’ve been looking at all the ways I did contribute to the divorce, not a blaming way, I don’t want to blame or or blame him, just in a way that comes back to this truth: what is best for one is best for both.

AND this is all a part of creative dreaming.

I'm been committed to having my inner truth guide my actions, and so - if I am doing my best with that, then I need to accept the outcomes as they happen.

The path doesn’t look the way we think it will. This is true for most dreams.

I am thinking about how often our creative dreams do fall apart, just like marriages, and how this is all a part of it.

If nothing ever falls apart, there is no space for anything new!

I wrote this a few weeks ago, but now I see how it fits with my work right now of creating a container for my dreams to grow, and how I MAKE SPACE for them.

Dream Book members: there is a mini-class on For When Your Dream Falls Apart.

Come dream with us

 

Dream Book members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

For When Your Dream Falls Apart Read More »

I make space for miracles

(Dream Book members: get your next journaling kit, with alchemy meditations here)

This week’s journaling + alchemy kit gave me this: I make space for miracles.

I actually made mugs, notebooks + zipper pouches with this on them, and I use this mug every day.

This is my mantra.

And yet, it was really hard for me to feel this one, this week.

The start of last week felt like a slog with no miracles in sight. I felt like I didn’t want to MAKE SPACE for miracles, I didn’t want to be the one doing that work, I wanted the miracles to find me.

Which is valid!

AND it’s not usually how miracles work.

By the end of the week I realised two things:

  1. The way I am planning my weeks and setting goals isn’t working for me. AND I have an idea for what would work!!! It’s like, I noticed exactly what is missing for me (which is a tiny miracle!). So I am going to try that for this week and this feels so exciting to me.
  2. I’m not actually MAKING SPACE for what I want. I have this specific dream I am working on, but I have no container for supporting it.

I am still figuring out what that second one means.

But this is something that comes up from time to time in Dream Book - how are you making space for your dream in your life? There are a LOT of ways to do this and what I am feeling right now is that HAVING A CONTAINER for it feels important.

The work of MAKING SPACE is so varied.

Sometimes we are literally too busy for our dream to fit in our lives. Sometimes we have to give other things up in order to have it. Sometimes we just need to notice the ways it’s growing, like a houseplant that is growing, but crowded by other plants, maybe you just need to move it a little.

When I say I need a container for my dream to grow in - I have no idea what this means. Is it a literal container? Like a file box to keep things in? Is it a practice, a way of showing up for it every day and noticing?

It feels like a journaling process. That’s all I know.

So I am making a page for it in Dream Book - the page is a proxy for the container for supporting the growth of my dream. And I’ll just sit with it regularly and see what comes next.

This is a big part of creative dreaming. Being willing to sit with things that you can’t see or understand yet.

This is how we make space to operate from a new level of consciousness.

Which is what making space for miracles is all about.

Come dream with us

 

Dream Book members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

I make space for miracles Read More »

I’m powerful and have what I need to make my dreams real

(Dream Book members: get your next journaling kit, with alchemy meditations here)

This is the mantra I got in this week’s Dream Book journaling kit and I am NOT feeling it.

I woke up groggy, foggy, heavy and sad. Having a TOTAL MONDAY.

I went back to sleep and my poor cat Bear had to wake me at 7:17 when his breakfast was 17 minutes late.

I fed him and kind of moped around. VERY VERY SLOWLY got dressed, thought about my day, and thought… I think I should just call in sick today. Get into sweatpants. Watch Netflix.

It was a real battle this morning to get anywhere near feeling powerful enough to get close to my dreams.

This is just how it is some days.

I didn’t battle it by forcing myself to do anything I didn’t want to, or pretending to feel differently than I felt.

I sat in my bed and cried. I didn’t understand why today felt so hard, I just offered myself some comfort and feeling your feelings is comforting.

Then I meditated.

And I thought about what I had planned for the day: A sunrise walk to the coffee shop - I had missed sunrise at this point but I could still walk in the sunshine. I had a list of things I wanted to do there, plus coffee! And a treat! And then a 30 minute walk back home, and the way doing 60 minutes of walking in the morning makes the rest of the day feel better.

Then I took out the garbage. Like a trial run. And outside felt GOOD. So I came back in, bundled up, and went to the coffee shop where I am writing this.

I am powerful and have what I need to make my dreams real.

I am at my MOST powerful when I’m accepting myself where I am.

Come dream with us

 

Dream Book members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

I’m powerful and have what I need to make my dreams real Read More »

How do I love myself and love my future enough to stay on track with my goals?

I started using the weekly journaling kits for STRUCTURE but it’s also giving me some vibes (each week has a different quality and mantra) and some different ways to consider how I am working with my dreams (each week has a journaling prompt about that).

I forgot how MAGIC these kits are when you spend time with them every week because they are a way of making space for insights to emerge.

So this is the insight I had this week:

I have struggled with staying on track with certain goals because I am coming at them from a place of DETERMINATION.

What if I came at it from LOVE?

When I am fueled by determination, I can show up for a while but it gets so tiring. And then it gets boring. And then I wonder… do I REALLY even want this? And I definitely do want it, but I don’t like the process and eventually I stop showing up.

And “‘determination” really is plugged into self-improvement 🤮 and all the says dominant culture encourages us to accomplish external things in order to be proven worthy, instead of validating that fact that each of us is inherently worthy.

This is a part of a bigger shift I am in.

Brought on by so many things.. my age, peri-menopause, the way the world is changing as late-stage capitalism starts to fail, things I am learning about my self after 30 years of working on self discovery… I am in-plugging from so many “learned” ways of being to embrace my most authentic ways of being.

This is what I’ve been doing for 30 years already!!! So I’ve made loads of progress and it can feel so frustrating to see the places where I have work to do.

AND some of the places where I am still plugged in are starting to feel SO FUCKING UNCOMFORTABLE and it feels URGENT that I do something about it.

So. This clue - being fueled by love instead of determination - feels so important.

And it’s funny because people in Dream Book are always telling me how much they appreciate my approach which is SO MUCH driven by love and soul, especially compared to other approaches out there.

But there is a next level and it’s time to look for it.

How do I LOVE MYSELF and LOVE MY FUTURE enough to stay on track with these goals?

Which is not a question to answer right away. It‘s a question to sit with over time. To be with all of my different responses and reactions to it.

Dream Book members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

How do I love myself and love my future enough to stay on track with my goals? Read More »

The Resistance Project: my resistance turns into a witch + wise woman

OK Hi Resistance.

This feels weird. Usually you are like, SUPER SUPER VERY PRESENT and I try to pretend you’re not for a while, and we go in circles, and then finally I throw up my hands and say “Ok fine let’s meet! Hello resistance!”

But here I am. Willingly coming to you even though you’re not really coming to me today.

Resistance shows up as a witch. A wise older woman.

“Oh this is nice. I’ll put the kettle on for tea.”

She rummages around in the freezer to pull some cookies out then turns around and looks at me, pointedly.

And I know what she’s thinking.

I became that kind of person - the kind who can rummage around for home made cookies in her freezer. The kind of person who cooks and bakes from scratch, healthy and yummy things, and knows how to take care of… herself. Suddenly I see, all the ways I tried to take care of my husband and step-children, these are ways I ultimately learned to take care of ME.

OK but I am not here to talk about my divorce.

She raises an eyebrow and again I can read her mind.

It’s all connected.

I started the resistance project because I wanted more creative flow. Not to go BACK to were I was before the pandemic and peri-menopause. But to move FORWARD in my most powerful and aligned way. There is so much I want to do and create and I felt called to get a better handle on my resistance.

But, sitting here in this witch’s kitchen having a cup of tea and a cookie, I see that it’s all connected.

“This divorce is the most powerful thing you have right now” she says.

And I get it. I have been wanting to move THROUGH it rather than find out how deep I can go INTO it.

And, what the resistance witch is saying is - if I try to compartmentalize different parts of my life I can never be in my power. And creative flow is, partly, about power.

And resistance is, partly, about resisting my power.

And a divorce, like other unwelcome and difficult events, blows things up and gives you this magical opportunity to put them together in a whole new way. A way that makes more space for your power.

And, I wish it could go without saying but I think it always needs to be said, this isn’t about bypassing the hard. It’s more about being SO present with ALL of the hard parts that get triggered that healing, growth and miracles become inevitable.

I ask for another cookie.

We’re still right at the start of this resistance project, and resistance has already transformed from a vague annoying heavy cloud of darkness into a wise witch teacher and healer.

This is so good.

Come dream with us

 

Dream Book members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

The Resistance Project: my resistance turns into a witch + wise woman Read More »

I Give Myself What I Need To Grow

This year I am re-starting the Dream Book weekly journaling + alchemy kits.

(Dream Book members: check out the weekly kits here. If you're not a member: find out more + join us here or check out the Printable Planning + Journaling Kit which is similar)

I meant to start last week, at the start of the year. So I cut this out last week. I pasted it into my journal, but then I didn't come back to it because I have been using a different journal, lol!

So here I am, once again, meaning to start this week.

This is just where I am! No judgement.

And it doesn't matter how many weeks it takes me to actually get into this!

The magic is in showing up and taking whatever little steps you see to take. The magic is in showing up again and again and again until it sticks.

There have been times when I've been in a good, nourishing routine using these kits every week. And I can get back into that routine.

And I HAVE been thinking about the mantra: I give myself what I need to grow.

I've been feeling into it.

The kits come with meditations + instructions for using them. The meditation for the mantras is for EXPLORING the mantra, how it feels for you, and all the different ways you react to it, to see what it can show you.

The point is NOT to force yourself to believe it, the way a lot of new age affirmations are used.

So I've been EXPLORING this. Noticing where I am, and am not, giving myself what I need to grow.

And that's been really cool!

I am seeing all sorts of ways to nurture my goals. This year I have some business goals I am focusing on, but also LOADS of creative goals that are not work related and self care/adventure goals.

Of course I am also exploring resistance as a year-long project and the big thing I have learned so far that I being organized/ready to do a thing makes me SO MUCH more likely to do the thing, when I have time for it.

Like - I've been wanting to work on the mural in my workspace for a while. I'd be so much more likely to actually do it in little moments if the paints + tools were already out + set up. (They are currently in a box in the bottom of my closet, with other things in the way, so it feels annoying to even get started)

Also - the mood is more likely to strike if I am ALREADY prepared. That's my big learning/remembering from week 1 of the year-long project of exploring my resistance.

Come dream with us

 

Dream Book members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

I Give Myself What I Need To Grow Read More »

Tomorrow: January New Moon Call

I am so looking forward to this!

We start the call with a short meditation, and then some journaling prompts for reflecting on the last month. Looking for lessons to be learned, re-frames to make, things we want to celebrate, things we want to let go of. Then we look at what we WANT now and what we NEED now and set intentions for the coming month.

Then we take those intentions back into the meditation and do an alchemy process for becoming that version of ourselves who has done the thing, and look back at ourselves as we are today, and offer next-level advice to ourselves.

And then we have THE BEST conversations as we share our intentions, our celebrations, our struggles, the things we're learning on the path - all of it.

My goal is that at the end of the call you have a good sense of what you want to focus on for the next month, and what kinds of practices will help you be able to do that - how to best set yourself up for success.

If you can't make it live you can leave your thoughts + questions in the (private!) comments section.

I’m starting with a blank slate.

I did my New Moon journaling in my December planner, and then I got rid of that planner for the new year, lol!

I mean, I can find it still in my piles and piles of old journals and planners, but it’s not where I am right now and I’ve decided to just start fresh.

Which is great and all but…

Every month we talk about the magic of reflecting back on last month’s intention because THIS IS HOW YOU HOLD THE THREADS.

If you’re always focused on setting new intentions, and never look back at how you’re holding the intentions you’ve already set… it’s just really hard to move forward with any consistency.

SETTING the intention is absolutely the easiest part.

HOLDING the intention is harder.

Looking back and being honest with yourself about how you’re doing this work - hardest.

So that’s why we do it TOGETHER. Even the people who use the replays share the it’s just easier to do this hard part with the video.

So I’m going against my own rules this month. And that’s ok too!

This last fall was one of the hardest seasons of my life and I’m really proud of how I’ve handled everything. I wrote on my journal this morning: I love the ways I’m moving on. Centering self care, creativity and healing.

AND ALSO it feels like a good time to just throw away everything I was working with and see where I’m at now.

I’m looking forward to seeing what happens on the call tomorrow. No matter where I’m at, this monthly gathering is always magic.

Come dream with us

 

Dream Book members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

Tomorrow: January New Moon Call Read More »

I am doing the daily posts a little differently this year

Or, I WANT TO, but I am not quite there and not quite sure how to get there.

This is what creative dreaming is!

And today I’m leaning into one of the Principles of Creative Dream Alchemy (Dream Book members, read them all here):

You don’t have to feel ready.

Which is fine in theory but, right now, the fact that I DON’T feel ready feels like anxiety.

My chest is tight. I want to run away. My shoulders get tense when I start to look at what I need to do.

So, NOT feeling ready is definitely a problem.

And “You don’t have to feel ready” is just taunting me. Because the fact that I DON’T feel ready is causing so much anxiety I can’t really “just do it”.

Hands on heart.

Five deep breaths. Inviting “You don’t have to feel ready” into my body as a balm. Not to dissolve or cancel out the anxiety of not feeling ready, just to hang out with it.

The anxiety wants to show me how it wanted to do things, and since it can’t do that, all hope is lost. It needs me to give up so it can stop feeling anxious.

You don’t have to feel ready says… Oh that is a beautiful plan! I love it. You’re so smart for coming up with it! I’d love to keep that as what we’re aiming for.

Anxiety is confused…

Anxiety sees it as “all or noting” and since we don’t have everything in place it really believes that all is lost.

You don’t have to feel ready says… So if this is what we are aiming for, and we didn’t get there by January 1, how about we just do what we can each day to get there?

Anxiety doesn’t even know what that would look like.

You don’t have to feel ready says… Well we know how to write a daily post to share our practice each day since we have done this for how many years? And we know what we wanted to get ready for the new daily posts.

It’s just that stepping from one way to the new way, IN ONE STEP, seems like a bit much.

Anxiety’s head explodes.

Oh, of course, this is a multiple step thing and I thought if I couldn’t do it in one step, then all hope was lost.

But it’s so simple. Take as many steps as you need.

When you really sit with you don’t have to feel ready it always ends up that there IS something you ARE ready for, it’s just smaller than the thing you’re looking at.

Big dreams happen with the teeny tiniest steps.

Come dream with us

 

Dream Book members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

I am doing the daily posts a little differently this year Read More »

I am starting a year-long creative project: exploring my resistance

One thing that happens whenever you start to take a dream more seriously is that all of the obstacles are suddenly IN YOUR FACE.

And it’s really alarming! Because it took A LOT of work to gear yourself up to be all “OK I AM DOING THIS!!!” ... and then a few days later you’re flat on the ground, knocked over by all the obstacles.

This isn’t the universe conspiring against you, and it’s not a sign that now isn’t the time.

It FEELS LIKE once you step onto the path the obstacles are suddenly in your face but actually YOU are in THEIR face. You stepped into their territory when you made that commitment.

As a coach, I’ve noticed that this happens with most people most times they commit to something.

But I didn’t consciously decide to turn that pattern on it’s head this year.

I wanted a year-long creative project, something that felt inspiring and interesting. Not necessarily another work project, and not necessarily something I would ever even share anywhere. But something creative that would grow me in the direction I want to be growing in.

Over the holidays, I spent time every day thinking about it, writing about it, making art about it, making lists of potential project ideas. And then this idea came in and it just felt right:

To meet with, explore, write about and make art with my resistance to doing all of the things I want to be doing.

Since I got the idea, the more I think about it the better it feels.

Resistance has always been there but it’s been a much bigger problem for me since the start of the pandemic, and I think there are a lot of other things hiding in the resistance.

I feel excited to explore it.

BUT THEN I thought about this thing where you set an intention to do a thing and then all of the resistance and obstacles come up and I wonder…

Maybe committing to a year of being with my resistance will be a shortcut to creative flow?

But even if it’s not exactly a short-cut, I am sure I will learn a lot about my creative flow and what nurtures it in this process.

Pre-pandemic I knew A LOT about how to nurture my creative flow. I had spent years experimenting and noticing. But I don’t feel like that same person anymore.

Part of that is age. 45 and 50 (I turn 50 this year!) are really different, for me anyway.

But part of it is my changed perspective of the world. My changed relationship with capitalism and productivity.

I feel more like myself than I ever have before and myself doesn’t care about meeting capitalist goals. EVEN THOUGH of course myself wants to keep her condo and have food to eat, and buy nice fabrics and art supplies - even in this economy.

And some of the drive I had before the pandemic wasn’t coming from a place I want to be driven from now.

So - this is the first thing I am learning about resistance and creative flow. I don’t want to “go back” to where I was 5 years ago when I found it so easy to get so much more done.

I want to go somewhere new.

I made the year-long tracker (Dream Book members, you can download this in the calendars + trackers page of the Dream Plan Kit, here.) and I’ll fill in the circle for every day that I work on this. I am not committing to EVERY DAY or anything. Just some kind of consistency over the year.

Come dream with us

 

Dream Book members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

I am starting a year-long creative project: exploring my resistance Read More »

Why Art Journaling Is Not Enough

artjournal

Art journaling is becoming popular out in the world and this is very good! People are waking up to the inherent healing benefits of being creative and only good can come from that.

It?s true that just making art is healthy and good for you.

And it?s also true that if you want to actually dig in and transform your self and your life, more is needed.? And that part keeps getting lost in the shuffle.

Starting a creative practice is only the first step.

And the skills, techniques and practices that you need to get started are different than the skills, techniques and practices that take you to the next level.

It takes a special set of skills to successfully navigate the process of internal transformation.

Engaging in the creative process is beautiful and magical but it’s only a doorway to deep down healing and transformation.

Obviously the doorway is super important, but the doorway is not the journey, it?s only there to get you started.

Too many people are taking those tiny bites of healing and then mistaking those tiny bites for all there is – which means they’re settling for much less than the full-blown bliss of inner healing and transformation.

To get to the next level, your creative practice has to stop being about the art and start being about the inner journey.

You can tell where you are in this by how you feel about what you?re creating.

  • Do you want it to look a certain way? If so, you?re staying on the surface.
  • Are you so immersed in your own brilliant depths that you don?t care what your art looks like anymore? If so, then you?re on the real journey.

Creating a gorgeous art journal as a record of your life is wonderful. But it?s nothing compared to learning how to skillfully navigate your own brilliant depths.

That?s what I wish for you and that?s where we?re going in 2015, in the Creative Dream Circle.

Right now I’m thrilled to be working on something new for the Circle:

Grow Your Depth, Nurture Your Brilliance: 12 months of deep-down creative + intuitive healing + transformation.

I’ll be sharing more details over the next month.? The magic will start in January, but if you join the circle today you can use December to work through the amazing classes that are already there which creates the foundation for where we’re going next.

 


 

Why Art Journaling Is Not Enough Read More »

A peek inside my process: How I discovered clarity, power + joy in the middle of confusion + self-doubt.

Being engaged in a daily creative/spiritual practice always brings me back to my magic and helps me to receive whatever it is I need in the moment. This is why I teach so many different creative/spiritual processes, so that I always have something I can reach for that is engaging and fun enough that I’ll do it even when I’m SUPERcraky.

Treasure Mapping is one of those processes.? When I was feeling so confused and unsure last week, I knew that Treasure Mapping could help, and the thought of spending the next few weeks making maps every day made me so happy, I ran out and got myself a new journal to FILL with maps, and decorated it:

treasure map art journal

 

What happened when I started Treasure Mapping was so magical, I HAD TO make a video to share it, even though last week I went on a summer-long hiatus from making videos.

Having lunch while treasure-mapping.

July 10 (next week!) I?m teaching a live-on-the-phone treasure-mapping class.

(It will be recorded and you absolutely won’t miss out on anything if you can’t be there live – you’ll still get to share your questions and stories and photos in our private forum)

You’ll learn a fun and creative way to GET the clarity you?ve always wanted about what to do next with your dream, without waiting for the answer to somehow magically come to you.? You?ll learn how to access deep and true intuitive wisdom right when you need it.

The cost of the Circle is going up to $147 this summer.? I’m still working out the details to share more specifically when the price increase will come into play, but this will be the last class you can join in for the $100/year rate.

 

 

A peek inside my process: How I discovered clarity, power + joy in the middle of confusion + self-doubt. Read More »

Update 29: Manure Makes The Flowers Grow (and dreams too!)

I set a big goal for my business for 2014: to welcome 800 dreamers into my Creative Dream Circle. And to do this not by getting super pushy about selling – but to do this with heart and soul and creativity and joy and LOVE.(you can read my original post about this here)

At this point though, I’m not interested in the numbers. I’ve been more interested in exploring how to grow my capacity serve dreamers in bringing their dreams to life from a place of delight and gratitude and plenty.

In support of this goal, I am writing weekly updates on Fridays, for all of 2014. This is where I’ll share the story of all the ups and downs of bringing a big dream to life.

***************************************************
manure

This week started HARD, capital H, capital A, capital R, capital D. HARD.

I did have to laugh at myself a bit – I know that doing a class specifically on happiness has a tendency to bring the things that block happiness to light.

The story was always there, rooted in fear and shame and lack.? But it was all tightly rolled up, like a stone.? A stone that was blocking possibility, but it had been there so long I didn’t notice it anymore.

Unraveling the story in preparation for Love Your Life, of course, makes it impossible to not notice.? It’s like the rock exploded and instead of keeping this story so neatly contained it was now… well it was everywhere.? Impossible to avoid.

The teacher and healer in me knows that this is good.

This is how those stories get broken down back to their essence and healed and transformed.

This is how the fear and shame and lack get released.? This is how new stories get written.

But every other part of me was not so welcoming of the situation.?

It’s painful and scary and hard.? I felt particularly freaked out to be getting ready to teach this class where we’d be working with joy, delight and love when I was feeling so much the opposite.? And I blogged about that earlier this week.

But I have the tools to work through it effectively and quickly.

And on the other side of that, things look really different.

I am more connected to the WHY of why I do this work and why I am moving towards this particular dream of growing the Circle.

I am more in love with my work, my life and my self than ever.

There is more room inside of me for trust and courage.? I feel indescribably amazing.

This kind of energy healing really is the best drug ever.

That’s why the Creative Dream Circle includes the Un-Sticking Station which is ALWAYS there to lead you through that process.? Because the shitty parts are a part of the journey.? And when you’re in the shitty parts it’s hard to remember how to get out of them.

But when you bring creativity and love and wisdom and power to how you handle the shitty parts – you grow your superpowers and make more space inside of you for more of whatever you want: abundance, joy, calm, delight, creativity, etc, etc, etc.

So as I write this on Thursday morning I am still in the afterglow of deep healing, and in the pre-glow-magic of the Love Your Life Creative Journal Class – we’re doing our live playdate this afternoon.

There is more that I would like to share, about shifting perspectives, but need to save my energy for our class today.? (I usually write these on Thursday afternoons, and this week that time is devoted to the Love Your Life Creative Journal Class.)

So I’m not going to answer the Creative Dream Update Questions (posting them here for Circle members so you can use them in our weekly update circle: What happened in the last week? How do I feel about this? What do I need now? What does my dream need now? Taking all of this into account, my next mission is:)

I am so in love with all of this, and so grateful for all the amazing beings I get to share this work with, inside the Creative Dream Circle.? If you’ve been on the fence about joining, I’ve got to say: DO IT.? If you like my work enough to be reading these update posts, you’ll totally love what I have to offer inside the Circle.


Update 29: Manure Makes The Flowers Grow (and dreams too!) Read More »

A peek inside my process: How I write sales pages

Writing sales pages is hardly anyone’s favourite thing to do, me included. In fact, at one point I had most of my pages written by very good copywriter, who understood me and understood how to describe my offerings clearly. At that time it made me so happy to stop spending time on this.

But right now I am (mostly) happily re-writing the page for the Creative Dream Circle myself.

As I journal my way through the process I thought I’d share it here.

Since this is hard for many of us, it makes sense to me that we could all gain from seeing more of each other’s process.

If you don’t know – a sales page is a page on your website where you sell something. Ideally the page describes what the thing is, what the potential buyer can expect to get out of it, pricing details and a buy button.

For a lot of online business, the sales page is the make-it-or-break-it point for their business. The aim is to create a sales page that generates as many sales as possible. They use a lot of slimy tactics to make this happen.

I operate my business quite differently. Hardly anyone reads my sales pages for the first time and buys my stuff. Usually they get to know me, play with my many free offerings, and by the time they choose to read about my courses and coaching, they already know and trust me and are interested in working with me.

So I don’t feel like there is a lot of pressure on my sales pages and I don’t want anyone to feel pressured on them! I just want them to clearly describe what I’m offering and what you can expect to get out of it.

But that is more complicated than it seems! It can be hard to describe your thing in a way that is clear for your people because you’re on different sides of it. You know it from the inside out and they can only look from the outside in. You see the benefits of the thing are so super obvious, but on the other side, your people can’t quite see them at all.

Plus, if you are like me, you are always growing and evolving, and so the way you want to communicate all of this grows and evolves. This is why I update my pages regularly, so they are congruent with where I’m at.

The Starting Point: What do I want to do?

I want to re-write the Creative Dream Circle page in a heartfelt and clear and inviting way. I want people to feel uplifted while they read it. I want them to get a taste of what it’s like to be expertly supported and guided with your dreams and how that creates new possibilities.

I also want to encourage them to consciously interact with the fears/doubts/inner critics that get triggered while considering making this group a part of their lives, instead of allowing their fears/doubts/inner critics to derail the process with their bullshit… “this won’t work for you” ” you already know all of this” “you don’t have time for this” “you can’t spend money on your dream!” “sounds complicated, you’re not going to be able to figure it all out” “you won’t fit in, this kind of thing is for other people”

Plus I want this page to be a healing and a light, both for people who take the step into the Circle and for those who don’t.

How do I want to do this?

It seems to me we have to get on the same page about what we’re talking about really quickly so that should be at the top of the page.

The Creative Dream Circle is an online playground/creative superhero training center where creative people learn to bring their dreams to life.

Sigh. A lot of people are not going to know what that means PLUS it’s not descriptive enough.

I don’t just help you bring their dreams to life, I help you to do it with ease and joy, powered by authenticity and spirit and creative genius and inner wisdom, so that the dream appears in a miraculously perfect-for-you way even though it may look nothing like what you thought you wanted when you started.

This is because at the core this work is about soul healing, radical transformation and growing into who you really are which is a difficult thing to describe.

When I talk about living more deliciously and blissfully in tune with your own creative soul a lot of people have no concept of what that means. So I talk about it in terms of becoming the you who lives your dream. But this is not how the Circle members talk about it. They say it helps them do things like:

  • Feel more at peace with themselves and their lives (relief!)
  • Believe in themselves more (magic!)
  • Understand how to actually STOP letting fear stop them (momentum!)
  • Start making more time for the things that they love to do (joy!)
  • Understand how to start making small changes that bring them closer to their dreams (steady progress!)
  • Be inspired to go after bigger dreams (trust!)
  • Find new and/or unexpected sources of support for their dreams (right-fit support!)
  • See that the path to their dream is right in front of them and understand how to start walking along it (clarity!)
  • Understand more clearly where they hold themselves back, and what to do about it (freedom!)

So, using more of the language that circle members use would be helpful! This lets potential members know exactly what current members are experiencing.

I already have member’s testimonials on the page, of course. But I also have a lot of my own language. What if I use more of the Circle member’s language throughout the page? I like that idea.

OK, so I’m still on the first line.

The Creative Dream Circle is an online playground/creative superhero training center where creative people learn to bring their dreams to life.

So now I know that I want to write this in the kind of language that members would use, that speaks CLEARLY to potential new members. I also want to say something about how we work from the intersection of creativity, spirituality and human potential. I would like to highlight the fact that what I teach is unique, creatively engaging and remarkably effective.

Also: there is just so much love in the Circle. It’s amazing to be so fully supported and encouraged in your dreams.

So how do I want to say this?

It feels like I have journaled a million pages and am still on writing the first line of the page! I’m going to go make a lavender black tea latte and come back to this…

Well of course I didn’t just make the latte and come back. I wandered upstairs and lay down on my bed to enjoy the rain (I’ve got floor-to-ceiling wall-to-wall windows on both floors of the dream loft, perfect rain-watching conditions) then I took a shower, then I made my latte and gathered some supplies: my current favourite candle and an amazonite crystal ball which helps me write.

Obviously, I am in resistance.

ALL creatives experience resistance – how you handle it does determine the volume and quality of the creative work you produce. Of course, I’m going to handle it using the exact tools I teach in the Creative Dream Circle. The Circle includes an Un-Sticking Station which un-sticks any stuck, like resistance, procrastination, fear, doubt, uncertainty, etc.

Bringing my resistance to writing this sales page into the Un-Sticking Station, I discover:

  • I’m worried I’ll never get this right
  • What I have is working, what if I change it and it stops working?
  • What if my work just isn’t that special and doesn’t deserve a clear and inviting page?
  • What if I’m just not good enough?

So you can see why most creatives just procrastinate. This isn’t easy stuff to face.

And this is always how it is: a top layer of some questions/frustrations that seem kind of real but you quickly see what is beneath them, our basic and universal fear of not being good enough.

This is the stuff that stops most creative people from ever bringing their dreams to life. This is the stuff I am committed to helping people change. Every time I face it myself I am reminded of the importance of providing people with the tools that make it easier to face it and TRANSFORM it.

That bolsters my enthusiasm for getting this done.

Back in the Un-Sticking Station, bringing in love and creativity it is fast and easy (fast and easy just because I do this work so often) to dissolve limiting patterns and return to the truth: this is my work in the world. I am here to serve in this way. It’s my JOB to support my work in getting out into the world.

Now I feel like my inner world is in alignment with my mission. Ahhhh.

And I remember that I don’t need to find the exact perfect phrase to start this with, I just need to be as clear as I can be. Some advice out there is to just “speak from your heart” but I think that gets you back into problem #1: speaking from your side of the thing, instead of speaking from your people’s side of it, in a way that they can understand.

So speak from your heart, of course, but more importantly use your heart to connect with your audience and speak from where they are so they can hear you.

The Creative Dream Circle is….

What is important to have in this first part so that people get, straight off the bat, what we’re talking about?

  • it’s an online thing, not in person
  • it helps you activate your inner superpowers so you can: believe in yourself more, stop letting fear stop you, and make it easier/more fun to make positive changes in your life
  • it’s for open-hearted creative people
  • I teach from the intersection of spirituality and creativity and personal development, but encourage everyone to create their own unique ways of working with the tools, so you don’t need to adopt what I believe as your truth
  • The tools I teach are: journaling (art journaling or creative journaling or written journaling – up to you) and Creative Soul Alchemy (an energy healing technique I have developed using creativity + imagination + intuitive energy healing)

OK, using the term Creative Soul Alchemy is not the best idea because new people have no idea what it is. But since I do offer a free introductory course in it I think I can work that in. Plus I would prefer that people take my free class before singing up for the Circle so they can make sure they like my style. Also: do I really need to include this at the beginning?

Note to self + readers: I’m not going to give each sentence on this page this much attention. It just feels important to me to start right. This is creating that heart connection of meeting the reader where they are.

The Creative Dream Circle is an online training center for open-hearted creative people. Inside the Circle you’ll learn how to activate your inner superpowers so you can: believe in yourself more, stop letting fear (or doubt, or resistance, or inner and outer critics) stop you, and make it easier (and more fun!) to make positive changes in your life.

OK ewww, “make positive changes in your life” feels gross and task-master-y. And that’s not really what I mean, it’s not about external changes, it’s about living more fully in alignment with your heart and soul and creative magic.

The Creative Dream Circle is an online training center/secret playhouse for open-hearted creative people.

It’s full of tools, training + support for activating your inner superpowers so you can: believe in yourself more, stop letting fear (or doubt, or resistance, or inner and outer critics) stop you, and make it easier to live more fully in alignment with your heart and soul and creative magic.

BLISS! It’s about living your bliss. That’s what people really get out of it. For each person the path/specifics are different, but bliss is the direction we’re all headed in.

The Creative Dream Circle is an online training center/secret playhouse for open-hearted creative people.

Joseph Campbell wisely instructed us to “follow your bliss”. If you think that’s great advice but sometimes wish it was easier to actually follow – you’re in the right place.

Inside the Circle, you’ll discover effective, creative and engaging tools that help you believe in yourself more, stop letting fear (or doubt, or resistance, or inner and outer critics) stop you, and make it easier to follow your bliss in a really practical way.

Ahhh that feels more clear.

Sometimes when I talk about dreams I feel like people are only hearing me talking about getting what you want, in the external world.? What it’s really all about for me is the inner magic – the bliss of living in alignment with your heart, your soul and your creativity.

So then I can do on to talk about exactly that, and explain myself more clearly.

The Creative Dream Circle is dream generator. It exists to support you in the process of bringing your dream to life.

Dreams are important because your dreams are how your soul calls you into alignment with yourself. You can feel that, how having your dream isn’t about having some shiny new toy to play with, it’s about growing into who you really are.

Ack! Love! I have never put this together so succinctly and clearly before, I love this. And now we’re flowing:

While your heart and soul understand how important your dreams are, you live in a world that doesn’t understand this and you end up in a tug-of-war between external expectations and your inner callings.

And then stepping onto the Creative Dream Path starts to feel like this terrifying/impossible thing. Because you grew up in a world that doesn’t understand dreams, you wind up with all of these fears/doubts/beliefs that it’s not safe or possible for you to go after your dream. That you somehow just don’t have permission to live the way you want to live.

So painful! To want your dream, to know in your heart that going after your dream is what is right for you but running up against all these obstacles every time you try! No wonder most people just give up on their dreams.

I have failed many, many, many times. But something in me wouldn’t let me give up.

If you’ve just discovered the Creative Dream Incubator and don’t know me yet (hello! I’m so glad you found me!) you can read more about me, the creator + leader of the Creative Dream Circle, right here. I am a creative woman who lives her truth. I get to make my living doing the things that light me up. It’s not easy every day, but I do have freedom and joy and bliss.

It took me years and years and years of struggle to get to this place with my dreams. I am so grateful that I finally mastered the art of how to bring a dream to life in a world that doesn’t understand the beauty, power and important of dreams.

And I am so happy to share what I’ve learned with other dreamers, so that we can start to turn the tide. As more people start to live in alignment with their inner truth, we start to have a tremendous effect on the whole world.

OK, something is starting to feel off. I think I’ve given this all the time I can for today. I’m going to go play and let this marinate.

Next Day:

So today I am SUPER uncomfortable with quoting Joseph Campbell. Not that I don’t love him, and not that his work wasn’t a part of my training as a spiritual teacher, but the point of this page is for people to connect with the Circle. A quote from someone else doesn’t connect you to ME.

Next Day After That:

I want to delete ALL of this and start from scratch again.

I want to go back to my journal with my coloured pens and explore… what do I really want to say?

At that point I drew some mandalas about how much love I have for my students, then went right to the sales page and re-wrote it. Totally different from what I had above – speaking from my heart and, I think, speaking with more clarity.

I’m happy with how this went, you can see the end result right here.? I think it’s pretty awesome.


A peek inside my process: How I write sales pages Read More »

Today in my journal: Being in the hard part of the creative process.

The Love your Life Creative Journal Class is in 2 weeks.? As I?ve shared here, my preparation is all about creating containers for the participants to receive what they need to receive.? As I’ve been doing this, I’ve been ridiculously happy.

Well – today I crashed.? I?m feeling lost. The doom and gloom feel bigger than me.

I?m sitting in a coffee shop wishing I hadn?t forgotten my headphones because it feels like I am extra sensitive today and I?m picking up everything from everyone and it sucks.

I feel heavy and like I can?t do the things I need to do.

This tiny, wise part of me is jumping up and down and saying: use the class!? Use the stuff in the Love Your Life Creative Journal Class!? It will make you feel better.

But I don’t want to. I want to mope and act like I don’t have the power to change this.? I want to eat nachos and watch a movie and try again tomorrow.

Wise me is not giving up.

She says:?you can go ahead and do those things if that makes you happy.? but it doesn’t, i can feel it.? being productive makes you happy.? shining your light makes you happy.? dimming your light is depressing.

Well, wise me is wise and I know it’s best to listen to her.? So I open up the Love your Life playbook…

(10 minutes later…)

OK, I did the first part in the playbook where I connect with joy and let joy do an energy healing for me and dissolve the gloom and doom in my energy field.? This shifted my energy enough that I decided to put earplugs in to block the sound around me and create a stronger boundary around my energy field so whatever is going on around me in the coffee shop doesn’t impact me.

Now I feel contained in a bubble of joy.? Ah, much better.? Now I see a list of things I want to do today, and I feel inspired and happy about doing them. I notice the sun is shining and the leaves outside are so gorgeously green.? I feel grateful for today.

Shift your energy, change your life!

Something I really want to say about the creative process:

I see images like these floating around online a LOT:

11_184647910Bb5GZt0IIAAZlZ1

I hate posting any image without linking to the source, but these images seems to be posted everywhere with no one linking to the source so I couldn’t find it.

I think they get shared SO MUCH because they speak to how creative people feel and they reassure you that on those days when you feel the way I was feeling when I started writing this post.? They tell you that it’s ok, you’re not alone in feeling this way and this is totally normal.

That’s good, anything that reassures people is good.? And feeling resistance is totally normal.

But these memes reinforce the bullshit idea that you are powerless against resistance.

Notice what I did above, when I felt like eating nachos, turning on Netflix and giving up on today: I went to the tools I teach in Circle and did the thing I knew would get me back into flow IMMEDIATELY.? I took my power back, I didn’t let resistance steamroll my creative process.? I got back to work.

That is the secret to success.

You can’t wait until there is no resistance.? Or only work when you feel happy and inspired.? You’ve got to learn how to get yourself in the flow in the times when you fall out of it.

You’ve got to learn how to effectively and quickly deal with your resistance, fears and self-doubt.

This is the real work of being a creative person – creating fertile ground in your life for your work to happen.

So next time you see one of these memes, please remember that.? You’ve got superpowers.? Resistance is not bigger than you.


Today in my journal: Being in the hard part of the creative process. Read More »

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