Failure is just a step along the path to Creative Dream Success.

By Andrea Schroeder / July 22, 2013 / healing

Last week I promised to write more about this:

If I really, truly, honestly give it my ALL and then I fail – that would break my heart so bad I would not be able to recover.

This fear that lurks beneath a lot of Creative Dreams.

We all know that you have to be 100% committed to your Creative Dreams in order to make them real.? But facing that fear of failure (which is sometimes just a mask for fear of success) can be terrifying.

Creative Dreaming is an Act of Courage.

You start by going back to your fear.? And, even though everything inside you is screaming at you to run away from it, you turn and face it.?

(Follow the link for a video about how meeting your fears with creativity + love changes everything)

Don’t just leave it there, lurking in the shadows, poisoning your possibilities.? Face it.

Once you face it, one surprising thing starts to become clear: you are bigger than it.? You hold all the power.

I know it feels counter-intuitive, but that’s the route to your Dream Come True.? Facing your fear.

I am really happy + grateful that I get to do the creative soulful work that makes my heart sing as my full time gig.

Today I consider myself successful.? But along the way I’ve failed more times than I succeeded.

Because failure is just a step along the path to Creative Dream Success.

If you let fear of failure stop you then you’re letting it STOP YOU.

And I know you won’t do that, because you are an UNSTOPPABLE Creative Genius.

I know this is cheesy and sappy and it sounds ridiculous, but each time I got my heart broken by my dreams I found that my heart was actually broken OPEN.? Each failure opened me up to the next step on the path.

You’ve got to be willing to stumble along the Creative Dream Path.

If you really, truly, honestly give it your ALL and then you fail – yes it’s going to break your heart.

And yes you’re going to recover.

And yes it’s going to be worth it.

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The Path to Creative Business Success

By Andrea Schroeder / July 17, 2013 / creative entrepreneur, healing

Part 1 is here: What No One Tells You About Marketing + Creative Business.? That ended with me making a Treasure Map and the map telling me that I have to trust the path before I can see it.

After I wrote that post, the Just Give Up Already Creative Dream Monster showed up to do his Monster Dance all of over my dream.? Part of his dance is to throw all these reasons-to-quit at me.

His purpose is to get me to give up before I’ve really begun.

It was a rough few days.?

I am mega-grateful for the Un-Sticking Station in the Creative Dream Circle, which is a space to transform whatever is in your way – fears, doubts and inner critics as well as outer obstacles.

As I worked through this process, I found there were 2 different things happening:

The inner process of learning to TRUST the PATH is the process of letting go of the outcome and choosing the path to choose the path.??Secretly I wanted to choose the path more for the destination, and also hoped that if I chose the path for the right reasons, I would be rewarded by getting what I want.
In order to fully commit to choosing the path, I had to meet with all of the parts of me that don’t want me to do this (fears, doubts, inner critics) and do the inner work of getting them on board with my plan.

What I needed to do was lots of journaling, meditation and contemplation.? I had to explore the path itself and my reasons for wanting to be on the path before I could fully commit to it.

I was tuning into my mission and aligning myself with it – physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually.

We usually want to rush past this step but without it there is no hope for success.

We want to rush past it because it can get very uncomfortable.? Depending on how much inner work you’ve already done around your dream, this part can involve a lot of tears, grief, anger, confusion and doubt. Or it can be all epiphanies and healing and YAY! DREAM! I LOVE YOU LET’S DO THIS!

For me, it was a mixture.? A quiet, gentle deepening into my intention.

Some of the kinds of questions I was exploring:

Why am I doing this?? REALLY why am I doing this?? What do I want to get out of it?? Are there better/easier/funner ways to get that?? Is this REALLY what I want or is this what I think I’m supposed to want?? What parts of me don’t want it?? Why?? How do I want to feel when I have it?? How do I want to feel while I’m on my way to it?? What am I NOT willing to do to get it?

Which lead to all sorts of other questions.? Many many many pages have been filled in my journals.

And after a few days of exploring this, I spent Friday at the mineral spa – soaking in the mineral hot tubs and steaming in the aromatherapy steam bath and unwinding. Opening up space inside of me for everything I explored to sink in and solidify inside me.

In the end, even the part of me who is all “DUDE! You don’t have time for this “inner work” bullshit! Get to work!? REAL work!” had to admit that doing all of this untangled everything for me.

Last week when I thought about what it meant to bring all of my attention and energy and creativity into building my business – my brain would get all tangled, my body would kind of tense up, and I felt like a deer in headlights.? I didn’t know what to DO.

This week, I feel a little nervous but mostly inspired.? I feel sure that this is what I want to do.? I feel solid in my commitment to do it.? I feel super inspired about all the things I want to DO to grow my business with creativity + soul.? I feel grateful that I get to choose this as my path.

The nervous part comes from my decision to share the journey while I’m in it.

Most pros say you should NEVER do this.? You should go through your struggles and trials privately, and then when (IF) you emerge on the other side all sparkly and victorious – THEN you share the story of how you got there.

I think that’s bullshit.

How inspiring is it that you didn’t trust your path until you had safely arrived at your destination?

So I am committed to sharing this adventure – no matter where it leads. This is the kind of faith I have in my Creative Dream Processes.? I know that if I stay in the process I’ll get to exactly the right place at exactly the right time.

At this point, the hard part is figuring out WHAT to share – after days and days of meditation and journaling, I learned a lot of cool stuff… like:

1. How hard it is to be 100% committed to any dream, because of this:? If I really, truly, honestly give it my ALL and then I fail – that would break my heart so bad I would not be able to recover.? (I’m going to write a whole post about this one)

2. My Inner Starving Artist does not accept that I am where I am today.? That I can have a gorgeous brand new loft condo and a car and this creatively, spacious, flowy lifestyle.? I show her my bank account and show her how I pay for all of this with my creative work and it’s like she can’t see it.? Her life was very, very different.

I have more work to do, bringing her out of the past and into the present.? (I’m using the Transform Your Inner Critics, Fears + Doubts Kit for this)? I know that working with her to transform her energy will give me a fantastic energy boost for my mission – she is highly creative, determined and hard-working, it will be great to have her on my team.

Getting to the Next Part

I went back to the Treasure Map and asked it for my next step.? (I’m using the CrazySmart Wisdom Council in the Creative Dream Circle to get these genius answers)

The new steps are:

Deal with Freakouts (inner critics, fear, doubt)? Ha!? At that point I had already done that, but it was nice to get re-assurance that that is an important step.
Find The Places of Clarity

Find the Places of Clarity

It feels like I am taking forever to actually, like DO SOMETHING about all this.? But the more time I spend creating a smooth path inside of me, the easier it is to walk the outer path.

So I took my journal out for coffee to explore what Find The Places of Clarity even means.

I wrote out my response to the prompt and quickly narrowed in on one idea… I’m not sure I know how to find the places of clarity.? But I as journaled about that a question came to mind that felt important: What Do I Like?

So I made a list of things I like about my business.? Things I like to do, things I like to have happen, things I am glad that exist.

Then it all became clear.

Not surprisingly, a lot of the ideas that I have learned about how to build and grow an online business did NOT end up on that list of things I like.

What if I just do what I like?? Officially move all the other things somewhere outside of my world.? I’d already decided to not DO those things, but they’re still there, in my brain.? There’s still this part of me thinking that eventually I’ll have to just bit the bullet and DO THEM, or find a way to make them be fun.

What if they could just cease to exist for me completely?? What if I was left with JUST THE FUN STUFF?

And a tiny voice asked: What if I let JOY be the fuel for this adventure?

Fireworks went off in my inner world.

One tiny inner critic has her arms folded tightly across her chest and is all “OMG NO!? YOU HAVE TO BE SERIOUS!? YOU HAVE TO DO THE RIGHT THINGS!? IN THE RIGHT ORDER!? OR ELSE YOU’LL FAIL!!!”

Looking back on all the things I’ve learned in this process so far, it was pretty easy to calm her down.

See, in the midst of all of this journaling and exploring I wrote a blog post about How To Draw Mandalas (And Why You Want To).? I put more effort into writing that than I usually put into blog posts, and did what I could to make it as helpful as possible.

This is exactly the kind of thing I didn’t have time for before, when I was focused on my programs.

One day later: that post has been pinned to Pinterest 62 times (and that’s not counting when people re-pin those pins!) and has 92 Facebook likes… so it’s on Pinterest and Facebook, bringing new people in.? And as a result: web traffic is up, email sign-ups are up.

And it was an absolute delight to write and share.? I LOVE drawing mandalas!? It is fun to share that love!

What if I did that every week?

Even my inner critic had to admit: that would be very good.? Even my inner critic wants to not do The Things That People Say You Have To Do That I Just Don’t Like Doing and even my inner critic can see that Maybe This Fun Stuff Actually Works Better For Me.

So I Found The Places of Clarity

It’s OK to proceed and follow the path of most juice: joy, inspiration, light.? I feel like I have more internal permission to do that now.

In the last few years of developing my work I have learned that it is more effective to PLAY your inner work that it is to “WORK on your stuff”.

It feels like now I am learning now that it is also more effective to PLAY with your business instead of WORK on it.

I look forward to where this is taking me…

If you enjoyed reading this and want to help me with my mission, I would totally appreciate if you would:

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Be Open To The Adventure Of Being Where You Are

By Andrea Schroeder / July 11, 2013 / creative entrepreneur, healing

So, here I am.

Inspired and fired up.? I wrote this really popular post about business and creative genius and have every intention of taking my own advice.

I am actually overflowing with ideas of what I could do.

But I’m not really sure where to start.? So – I popped into the CrazySmart Wisdom Council in the Creative Dream Circle and received this sparkling gem of wisdom:

If you only keep your eyes on the prize you miss out of the adventure of getting there.

More importantly – there is a 90% chance you’ll get to the wrong prize with that approach, because it’s the inner journey of bringing a dream to life that shapes and molds the dream as it heals and transforms you.? Which is why getting what you want, when you’re just focused on getting what you want, usually feels so hollow.

I know all of this, but I forget.? Which is why I have to visit the CrazySmart Wisdom Council so often.

I don’t want to just get what I want.? I want the magic and sparkle of the hero’s journey.

So I’ve decided to slow it down and to not act just yet.

To sit with my ideas and spend the next few days with my creative journals.

Opening up to the adventure of being where I am.

Letting the path come out of the excitement, love and creativity of all of that.

While my logical mind is saying “ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME WITH THIS?? YOU NEED A SERIOUS PLAN HERE AND YOU NEED TO START ACTING ON IT YESTERDAY, THIS IS YOUR LIVELIHOOD, IT’S NOT A GAME!!!!”…

My heart is practically bursting out of my chest, sparkling with happiness.? My creativity is dancing wildly around, my creative genius is decorating for a creative journal party with streamers and balloons and glitter and tiny pots of tea.

My inner wisdom is sitting quietly and saying yes.

Going inward is the only way to go forward.

If I leap ahead right now, my leap will be fueled mostly by hope and ambition.

Hope and ambition are ok.? But they are weak compared to purpose, spirit, creative genius, inner knowing and connection to spirit – that’s the kind of POWERFUL fuel I am looking for here.

I’m packing up my art supplies and this afternoon I’m going for a creative journal picnic (pics to come on Facebook and Instagram)…

Be Open To The Adventure Of Being Where You Are Read More »

Creative Freedom, Superpowers + Giving Up Control

By Andrea Schroeder / July 3, 2013 / healing

I started the day with my creative journal.

We had a Playdate With Flow in the Creative Dream Circle?and I wanted to journal, doodle + draw about Flow to prepare for it.

As my mandala drawing went further and further away from what I thought it was “supposed to” look like, the message became clear: you can INVITE flow in, you cannot CONTROL flow.

Good lesson.

At the Playdate, when we first invite Flow into the Circle, she appears to me as a mermaid. ?She lives in the ocean of infinite possibilities.

She tells me that if I let her – she can take me right to where I need to go.

The important word there feels like LET: ?If I tighten up, then I can’t go with her. ?If I don’t trust her to lead, then I can’t be led. ?She asking me to look at that control pattern.

Then we did an energy process to energetically get into the flow, to explore it from being inside it.

Except I didn’t want to.

Or, a part of me didn’t want to. ?A part of me was afraid of what would happen if I dove all the way in – well, there’s no telling where I’d end up!

So I kept exploring this resistance to and desire for being in the flow.

Somehow this belief is in my way: this belief that I’d have to choose between being fully in the flow and being the conscious creator of my life.

The mermaid giggles.

Flow is only going to help you to consciously create your life. ?Come on -you know how Creative Soul Alchemy works. ?

Oh, right. ?It’s not true that I have to choose. ?So I ask this belief/fear to show itself.

It’s a little boy, holding a plastic toy ship, wearing a paper sailor’s hat. ?He’s convinced he has to be in charge or else he can’t promise that he, or his crew, will be safe.

Suddenly there’s this huge crew of (grownup) sailors behind him. ?I feel the weight of his responsibility to them.

Looking at him I immediately see how there are different ways of being in charge. ?And how the way where you try to control everything is really not the best (most effective) way.

I definitely want me, and my crew, to be safe. ?I want us to get to where we want to go.

To do that, I have to work with flow, not against it. ?(Of course!)

And the boy turns into a wise sage.

Flow is my friend and partner when I remember that I create from the inside, not the outside. ?Control is only useful if you’re only creating on the surface, which is really just for fools.

I go back to the energy process for entering the flow.

This time: woooooosh! ?Into the flow I go. ?It’s all sparkles and tiny soft stars and coloured lights and smoothness.

It’s not even a teeny tiny bit about giving up creative freedom. It’s much more about activating creative?superpowers.

The message: You can only enter into the flow to the depth that you are willing to commit to living from your center.

And then we move onto the next part of the Playdate: we bring our dream into the story.

My dream shows up as a starfish. ?Somehow I know it’s a starfish but I don’t know where it is, or what it’s doing, or how to find it.

Flow reaches deep down, deeper then where I’m able to be right now, plucks it out of the ocean and puts it on her head. ?Then she poses dramatically and giggles.

I take my dream, fill a little container with Flow, and put the starfish inside it.

The starfish starts to dance and light up and smile.

Flow and my dream definitely want to play together.

The coolest part?

While I was on this adventure, members of the Circle were using the same process to go on totally different adventures.

And as we share our stories, we learn about all these different aspects of Flow.

I learn so much on these days, the kinds of things that make no logical sense at all, but shift something deep down inside, and open up new space for new?possibilities?and new adventures.

My life has become so much better and brighter since I made the commitment to do this every month.

Next step: NAP TIME! ?I’m sure I’ll wake up with all sorts of new ideas about how to implement what I learned about flow.

Creative Freedom, Superpowers + Giving Up Control Read More »

The Answer to Everything

By Andrea Schroeder / July 2, 2013 / healing

These days I’m starting my days with a trip to the coffee shop by the park, then… journal picnic.

Meditation. Journaling. Creative Genius Planning. Dream-Map-Making. Mandala Drawing:? I like to spend at least 2 hours doing this first thing in the morning.

This is the secret, the magic and the answer to everything: focus on the inside, not the outside.

And this works especially well when you don’t have time for inner work.

Because being in your Creative Flow is sustainable and unlimited.

Giving your time and attention to the things that get your butt into the flow.

And putting that BEFORE work and responsibilities.

THAT’S where the magic is.

Because then you’re filled up.? And you’re in the FLOW.?? So – work is pretty smooth.? Your Creative Genius is activated.? Things fall into place.

Plus FLOW comes with access to synchronicity and miracles.

So why I would ever not make getting my butt into the flow my #1 priority is kind of a mystery.

Still, this has been one of the hardest lessons for me to learn as a Creative Entrepreneur.? I learn it and re-learn it and then have to keep reminding myself all the time.

I’m kind of hard-wired to believe that I have to earn it.? That work comes first, and play comes second – if there’s time.

The truth is: Play and Flow and Creativity are POWERFUL TRANSFORMERS.

They can get you to where you want to be so much faster, easier and more effectively than working your tail off ever can.? I promise.

PS: If you want to explore this with me, I’m hosting a Playdate with FLOW tomorrow in the Creative Dream Circle.? If you can’t be there live, all calls will be recorded – we’ll keep exploring this for the rest of the month in the Circle.

The Answer to Everything Read More »

Meeting with Flow

By Andrea Schroeder / June 26, 2013 / healing

Saying “I want to be in the flow!” is generally the worst way to get there, because energetically it points out how you’re not in the flow now and plugs you into that part of you who so desperately wants to be there, but is not.

Scheduling a meeting with flow seems to work in kind of the same way, as that’s what I had on my calendar for today…? meeting with the heart and soul of flow to put together the materials for the Playdate with Flow that is happening in the Circle next week.

And most of the day I’ve been decidedly out-of-flow.

Hot and sweaty.? Shopping (SHOPPING!? Not a hot-day favourite in my world, I got a sunburn on my arm just driving to the mall) for the insulated curtain liners I swore I would buy this spring so that my 2 storey wall of south-facing windows didn’t turn the DreamLoft into a HellSauna as soon as it got hot.

Annoyed with myself for not having bought the liner sooner.? Why do I still put things off?? And why why why can’t I start acting like a grown-up already?? I’m 39, shouldn’t that have happened by now?

Annoyed with the condo developer for not installing better heat-blocking windows.

Frustrated that it’s summer but I’m not at the beach.

Getting blisters from my cute butterfly shoes because my feet are hot and sweaty and sticking to my shoes in weird places.

Not a recipe for being in the flow, that’s for sure.

But here I am.? Showing up anyway.

And flow meets me with open arms and says “Oh honey, I don’t even have to say it, right?? I’m always here for you, that’s what I do.? I’m even in the mall and on hot sweaty days and when everything goes wrong.? I’m here.”

She shows up like a serpent with angel wings.

And I like her, and I like being around her, even though I don’t like snakes.

I want to be all “OK, let’s do this.? We have some work to do” but I just kind of curl up in the corner, exhausted.? Flow brings me a cup of tea and a reminder that pushing myself to get work done is not flow-like.? And that it would be impossible to create my Playdate with Flow from that place.

I sip the tea.

Tea is a source of flow.? Not when I have it just for a little energy jolt, when I have it simply to enjoy having it.

Resting is a source of flow.

Curling up is a source of flow.

Being present in my inner world is a source of flow.

“Not controlling the outcomes is a source of flow.” she whispers as I am starting to wonder… am I going to get my work done today or is not getting the work done the way the work gets done and if so – well, how do I get the work done because it really does need to get done.

Except it doesn’t really need to get done today, I guess.

Ohhhh… today I need to meet with flow and not dictate how the meeting goes.

“Sweetie it’s kind of funny how often you forget.? You can plan to meet with me – I love that you did that.? But you can’t plan to meet with me so I’ll whisper secrets in your ear that help you get your work done at a speed that defies the laws of the gravity.? Trying to control the outcome of your meeting with flow lands you right back out-of-flow.”

Oh, so Flow doesn’t want to help me write the ~~work~~playbooks.? Or maybe she does.? But she can’t/won’t do it if I am trying to make it happen.? Force and Flow cann’t co-exist.

I forgot about being open to the adventure of being where I am.

I can see how it was me wanting the planning for this Playdate to happen in a certain way that pushed some blocks into the path between me and Flow and everything just got more funky the longer I left those blocks there, insisting that this is how it has to happen.

Release.

Now it’s me and Flow and a tea party.? Little cookies on darling little plates.? The air sparkles with magic.? My expectations about how this day was supposed to go are all wrapped up in little packages, sitting just outside arm’s reach.? I can pick them back up if I want, or I can leave them there as long as I like.

There are big cushy pillows everywhere.? Soft happy music is playing.? The room is brighter.

I’m trusting that my work will get done when it gets done, and remembering that my best work happens when it comes from flow.

And it seems really silly and short-sighted now, that I was so hell-bent on getting this work done NOW.

Meeting with Flow Read More »

Why is it so uncomfortable for me to share this part?

By Andrea Schroeder / June 18, 2013 / healing

I’ve been trying to write this post and I’m noticing that I feel uncomfortable and I want to just delete it because I think it’s boring and I appreciate my readers and don’t want to bore them.

Beneath this noticing, I’m noticing that I never hesitate to share the stickier suckier parts of the creative dream path. ?I share bits and pieces of happy stuff on facebook all the time but to write a whole blog post about how freaking amazing everything is?? Uncomfortable.

I know a it’s easy to look at someone (like me) who is doing exactly what they want to do and think: it must be easier for her.

But as a teacher and guide in the Land of Creative Dreams I know that waiting for it to be easy is one of the most common ways that people kill their dreams.? So I write a lot about the hard parts, as encouragement.?

To say: it’s hard for me, too.? It’s hard for everyone.? Don’t give up just because it’s hard.

But today I only have happy things to share: everything in my life is painted in all these gorgeous new shades of beautiful and true.

So much is changing for me right now.

I’m stepping into a new layer of who-I-really-am.

I’m starting to lead transformational retreats in the most creatively inspiring places around the world.

I’ve totally re-built the Creative Dream Circle to be simpler, more fun and more accessible.? (Registration is closed to new members right now, but when it opens back up you’ll be able to hop in and play your way to your dream, easier than ever).? I am so happy and proud about this.

The new Circle needs a whole new business structure around it, one that can support such an sparkle-licious level of radiance and magic.? I’ve got the plan in place and am working towards this.

I got a cute haircut and have been sewing adorable dresses.

I’ve been drawing like a crazy person, and looooving every second of it.

I hardly ever sit still, I am happily bouncing through my days.

I feel more creatively alive than I have in a long time.

But these are just the outside changes.? The reflections of what is changing inside me.

There is so much more spaciousness and clarity inside me.? I’ve been working with these qualities for a long time, that work keeps rubbing away the stuff that blocks them, and this past few months some big chunks of stuff fell off.

It feels amazing.

A layer of is-that-really-possible-dust was just cleared off of my possibility glasses.? I’m blinking a bit, slightly disoriented because everything is so bright, but I’m happy to be here.

This is a part of the Creative Dream path, too.

It’s kind of stupid that I’m uncomfortable sharing it here, because this is why we work through the hard parts, yes?

To get to the part where you feel like there’s more space for you.

Like your life is true-er and deeper and brighter.

The place where your Creative Genius is bigger and brighter (and STAYS bigger and brighter) than your doubts and fears.

The place where those old patterns that hold you back just gently fall away.

I love this part.?

This is why I do this, so I can live in this place more often, and help you to build your home here too.

PS: I want to remind you that the door is open to the Rainbow~licious Creative Healing Circle. Inside the circle, I’m drawing my way through my energy body, and drawing in the changes I want to change, which is pretty much the most amazing thing ever.? There’s a lot of magic in there for you.

Why is it so uncomfortable for me to share this part? Read More »

Healing the hurt of not feeling supported in my dreams.

By Andrea Schroeder / May 29, 2013 / healing

The Rainbow~licious Creative Healing Circle starts Friday.

This morning, I started the day with my journal and markers, exploring what it is I want to get out of this experience.? Of course with any healing journey you tend to get what you need more than what you want, but still, I like to go in with a plan.

As I explored, I found that what it is I want to let go of is more important than what I want to bring in.

It’s easier and more fun to think about what you want to invite in, but if you don’t clear some space and make things nice and comfy for your guests, they’re not going to stay.

See, I have had some really painful experiences around not being supported with my dreams.

What I have found is that there is a ceiling on the amount and type of support some people are willing/able to give.? And there tends to be more support for “the underdog” than there is for “the empowered creative genius”.? Which is STUPID.

And it hurts.

And that hurt is messing with my vibe.? And causing me to doubt myself and (sub-consciously) look for ways to sabotage success and stay small so I don’t encounter more of it.

Which is bullshit.

So I have been sorting through and shining light and bringing clarity, wisdom and healing into these patterns and beliefs… creating space inside me so I can invite in more of what I want.

This is a big job!? So I’m going to keep doing this all summer.

With meditation and journaling and CREATIVE PLAY.? Because this stuff is really hard and play makes it easier.

Creative journaling creates a space that allows for the magic of transformation to happen in really bautiful ways. (And if you didn’t guess from my photo above, you don’t exactly have to be a master artist to do it)

If you want to join me, the Rainbow~licious Creative Healing Circle is a gorgeous safe space for exploring what it is you need to get rid of, to make space for more of what you want in your life.? I would love to see you there!

PS If you’re curious about what happens the Rainbow~licious Creative Healing Circle you can read through the posts I wrote when I first did this Circle 2 years ago:

Of course, this is a healing journey so each journey is unique… you will have your own unique discoveries, revelations and transformations.

Healing the hurt of not feeling supported in my dreams. Read More »

Daring Dares Me To Say No

By Andrea Schroeder / May 21, 2013 / healing

Today I’m working on the materials for next month’s playdate in the Creative Dream Circle – the theme for June is DARING.

Daring appears as a female superhero holding a lightning bolt.

She obliterates anything and everything that is a distraction.

She dares me to say no.

To pull in tighter, to draw clearer boundaries, to create a stronger plan.

To commit more fully to my path by defining what that path is.

And then to obliterate everything that is outside of that path. Or at least put it somewhere where I can’t see it right now.

Which then dovetails with what I learned from Hiro this week… which I want to share with you because a lot of creative people have this problem!

EVERY TIME I run the Creative Dream Incubator there is a lot of resistance to the idea of choosing ONE DREAM to work with.? So I’ve been exploring ways of working with more-than-one-dream and in all honesty – I think these explorations have only brought me off track.

Being open to all possibilities only makes it harder for you to bring any dream to life.

Being open to all possibilities is super important in the visioning process, so that you aren’t closed to finding the right possibility. But once you’ve found your thing – you’ve got to be closed to the others and focus on the one.

Daring dared me to commit.

To put down the contingency plans because they’re taking up precious energy.

To re-route ALL of my energy into The One Dream I am bringing to life right now.

There is a sea of infinite possibilities.

I used to?(used to, as in, last week) live on that beach because I was so in love with possibility.? And so ideas would wash up in the shore, right into my home, all the time. Beautiful sparkly ideas that would easily distract me and confuse me and leave me wishing I could be walking a million paths at once which is maybe why I have been to tired lately…

Also: that love affair was doomed from the start.? Hindsight is 20/20 but really, how could I not have seen it before? ?Possibilities aren’t real life things.

So I moved.

I live in the forest now. It’s cool. It smells like pine. It’s quiet and soft and mossy.? It’s real.

I’m still unpacking and settling in but already I can see: I can focus here. I can create.

And when I need an idea – I can go to the beach on the Sea of Possibilities. I can bring my Creative Genius and my Inner Knowing to sift through the ideas to find Just The Right One (which I believe is going to sparkle more than the others and will be easy to spot.)

And all of those other ideas? I can smile at the thought of them hanging out on the beach together.? Just because there are infinite possibilities doesn’t mean I need more than one at any given time.

BIG relief.

Daring Dares Me To Say No Read More »

A visit from the “I Don’t Have Enough Time” monster

By Andrea Schroeder / May 7, 2013 / healing

99% of the time, I don’t have enough time is a lie.

You have enough time, and you chose how you’re using it.? It only feels like it’s not a choice because you’re caught up in an un-helpful pattern, or you’ve got a sovereignty leak or you’re letting your inner critics run the show.

So, here I am this morning, convinced I don’t have enough time for all the things I have to do today.

Except I do.? They fit neatly onto my calendar.? So I mediate and journal and use aromatherapy and still this small voice of anxiety won’t go away.?? I re-read my post about You Are The Source Of Time which helped, but then my little inner I Don’t Have Time Monster got woken up…

So, let’s talk.

You DON’T have enough time!? Not for all these things!

Oh sweetie.

And you certainly don’t have time to talk to me about it!

Oh, so what should I be doing?

Running around like crazy, panicking about not having enough time.

That doesn’t seem useful.

But it would be honest!

Honesty is important.? See, I am being honest by talking to you about how you’re feeling, rather that just pushing through and getting the work done.

Oh, right.

I think you want me to to panic until I can’t get the work done, and then not get the work done, and then use this as evidence that I can’t handle this much work.

Well you can’t!

I know I can.? I love everything I’m doing.? The Creative Soul Alchemy Cards?? HOLY CRAP I LOVE THIS. I’m having the best time ever.

But they’re taking you longer than you thought, to make them.

Yes, that’s a part of the Batter Tasting Process – learning all of that stuff!? Then I’ll take what I learn and use it to put the final thing together.

But you’re also doing Project 1 and Project 2 and Project 3!? All big projects!? Plus your regular stuff!? Aaeeeeeiiiiiiii!? There is not enough of you to go around!

Honey, I remain full and whole.? And I choose what I want to play with, and when I want to play with it.

Oh, wait, what?

I think you think I have to give parts of my energy to each thing.? But I hold all of my energy.

And the little monster disappeared and in its place is yesterday’s Creative Genius Planning Session with all sorts of amazing energy work that actually holds the container for all of the things to happen this week with great joy and ease and spaciousness.

And the monster says: I’m sorry, I forgot about the Creative Genius Planning Session.? I can see it all here in the magics.? You’re doing fine, nothing to panic about.

Ahhhh. Calm returns.? And I’m ready to enjoy my many activities today…

A visit from the “I Don’t Have Enough Time” monster Read More »

Conversation With My Inner Critic: Not Believing In Yourself Is The Worst Feeling In The World

By Andrea Schroeder / May 1, 2013 / healing

I wrote this on Monday, before sharing my new Creative Soul Alchemy Batter Tastings. ?I want to share it because I know a lot of people read my blog who want to be doing similar things to what I am doing, and I want to paint an honest picture of what it takes for me to be, and stay, connected to my creative genius, and be actively putting myself, and my ideas, out there.

Often we look at people who are “doing it” and assume it must be easy for her.

Which is not only not true, it puts you in the position of it’s not easy for me so I guess it’s not possible.

Which is bullshit.

And, which is why, even though it’s really uncomfortable for me to share so honestly and so publicly – it’s really the only way for me to be effective in my job of helping creatives bring their dreams to life.? So here goes:

I am tense achy sore cranky frustrated.

I lit some candles, sprayed some magic sprays, rang a bell and did a healing on the dream loft to lift the energy enough so I can breathe again. ?But I still feel 100% crappy, just down from %1000 crappy a few minutes ago.

It’s time to shift this, so I am having a Creative Soul Alchemy session with my inner critic. ??As always my inner critic speaks in?italics.

_______________________________________________________________

So here I am, ?sitting on my yoga ball, in my newly re-arranged workspace, with my two BIG tables pushed together to create a GIANT table.

Well that’s dumb. ?You re-arranged your space to do this new thing and no one’s going to buy it! ?How’s it going to feel to have to move everything back because you failed?

You know, even if no one buys new thing #1 I know lots of people are going to participate in that other thing this summer, which will require a GIANT table for GIANT art-making.

You’re such a fucking pollyanna it’s so stupid! ?This is why you get you heart broken so much, you know. ?If you would just…

Just stop hoping? ?And dreaming? ?I can’t do that. ?I AM GOING TO BE ME. ?That is final.

I know, and it’s terrifying.

Can you tell me what is scary right now?

No one is going to want your new thing.

I understand that you think that, and that’s cool. ?But why is it SUCH a big problem? ?I don’t remember feeling this scared or stressed out in a long time. ?I’m not sure why this particular thing is so scary.

Because the price is wrong.

The price is not wrong. ?I think you know that.

You’re right. ?The price is not wrong. ?But no one will pay this price for this product/service.

It’s cool that you think that, I’m still confused about why it’s such a huge problem. ?You don’t think anyone will buy anything. ?And this is just a batter tasting, to see how it goes. ?If no one buys then I know it doesn’t work as a thing-to-sell and I move on.

This is awful because the price has to be even higher for the real thing than for the batter tasting, to be sustainable. ?And no one pays that much money for art! ?And your Creative Soul Alchemy cards are life-alteringly gorgeous, like on a SOUL LEVEL. ?Like, Creative Soul Alchemy is what they actually are! ?This is needed! ?And it’s going to fail! ?I’m not sad for you as much as I am sad for the world that it’s going to miss out on this. ?Also kind of sad for you but I know you’ll still make the cards for yourself so that’s good.

So there are 2 things there:

the idea that no one pays for art
immense immense love for the cards

Let’s start with #2.

I didn’t?realise?how much love you have for the cards! ?I?appreciate?that so much! ?Suddenly I feel less tense and stressed out. ?I feel grateful for everything that has happend in my life, that brought me here to this idea and feeling ready to bring this idea to life.

But it’s not ready, that’s the thing.

So what would it take for it to be ready?

That’s impossible.

And that’s how we know that you are believing a lie. ?Nothing is impossible, there is always a way. ?I think we should address that thing that is sitting just beneath this conversation: the idea that people don’t buy art. ?You understand that this is absurd, right?

Let me explain. ?I know people buy art. ?And for millions, not hundreds. ?Or at least thousands. ?But the kind of people who want your art don’t buy art.

You can hear how ludicrous that is, right? ?Let’s think back to the love you have for this project. ?Let that love be a bubble of sparkles. ?Take the idea that no one wants to pay for this thing and put it in the bubble. ?What happens?

The idea that no one wants to pay for this thing shows up as a dusty deck of cards that no one wanted. ?When I put it into the bubble the dust goes away (because of all the glitter) and it turns out the bubble is full of tiny people who run over, like RUN over to take the cards. ?Then they hug the cards and you can see tiny red hearts coming out of them. ?They love the cards. ?They get it.

Yes. ?There’s the shift. ?So what is true now?

There there are people who will love the cards. ?There are people who will get it, see the value in it, and be so so so so SO thrilled to get their own custom made deck of magic.

I only have space for 8 batter tasters. ?And if that goes as I hope it will and I start to do this regularly, there is still a very limited about of these that I am going to be able to create each month. ?If you take that number, and compare it to the number of people in the world – how likely is it that there are enough people out there that will want it?

Very. ?It’s just a matter of finding them.

Right. And we can work on that part.

Right.

So I feel better, do you feel better?

Yes. ?I can’t wait!

So let’s do a blessing for all the people that the Creative Soul Alchemy cards are for.

OK.

{do blessing together}

_______________________________________________________________

And there it is. ?I feel ready to put this thing out tomorrow. (which is now yesterday)

That conversation is only the last in a long line of conversations and healing sessions I do with my inner critic(s).

I say that to make it very very clear for you: feeling like you can’t do something doesn’t mean you can’t do it. ?It just means you have to work on the inner stuff first.

PS: Creative Soul Alchemy Card Batter Tastings are available here.

Conversation With My Inner Critic: Not Believing In Yourself Is The Worst Feeling In The World Read More »

Talking to a Creative Block

By Andrea Schroeder / April 27, 2013 / healing

I?m happily working on my new thing and hit a speed bump. Nothing I write feels right.? Some part of my brain wants to say that this project is too big, too complicated, there is too much to do so I am lost and don?t know where to start.

Another part of my brain calls bullshit though.

Earlier this week I thought to myself, The Art of Bringing a Dream To Life could also be called The Art Of Not Bullshitting Yourself.

And here I am bullshitting myself, or attempting to anyway.

So, if I wasn?t bullshitting myself about not knowing what to do, what would I do right now?

And, not surprisingly, I hear an answer…

I?d totally finish part 1 before working on the draft of part 2.

That?s interesting, why would I do that? I always do a full draft first.

You know how the longer you work on something the better you get at it? You?re already at the place of being able to totally rock part 1. The act of finishing part 1 is how you get to be able to rock part 2. That?s why you could write part 1, and the first part of part 2, so easily. But now you need to go back and to a final version and record it and create artwork. The part 1 can nurture and fuel part 2.

Hmmm, that?s kind of brilliant.

But now I feel kind of tired at the thought of editing the draft, recording, editing the recording, creating artwork and putting it all together.

What’s tiring about that?

Well, no the project itself isn’t tiring.? Normally I’m inspired and energized by my projects.? What’s tiring is…

You’re doing it again. Bullshitting yourself.? You’re not tired, you’re in resistance.

Oh, right.

So what if you wrote out all the reasons why you resist this?

Oh man, that’s scary.

When I breath into the resistance the main thing there is that… this is so much work, what if it bombs?? Maybe I can’t afford to take all this time to work on something new.? Financially I’m really banking on it going well, because I can’t do paying work while I am working on this.? Holy crap that is scary.? No wonder I am in resistance.

And is this true?

Well, no.? It’s not 100% of my business.? I have that other thing I want to start doing.? And tons of other things in the works.? I don’t have to stop doing all income-generating activities in order to get this done.? Argh, I’m still bullshitting myself.

So where is the resistance now?

It’s a little lighter.? It’s seeing the long-termness of this project and feeling tired about the journey.

Is this more long-term than anything you’ve done before?

No, not at all.? It won’t even take that long, once I get into the flow with it.

So where is the resistance now?

I’m putting it in a bubble of creativity, enthusiasm and flow.? Ha, now it’s skateboarding around the bubble.? It’s giggling.? It wants to be creative and make stuff!? It wants to sew skateboarding costumes.

How do you feel now about your project?

Kind of excited.

What do you need?

To map our this project and make a list!? Oh Holy Crap!? A map! A list! How did I forget that?

It’s SO hard to get to where you want to go without a map!

Deep sigh of relief.

It’s mapmaking time!? I LOVE mapmaking time!

Talking to a Creative Block Read More »

What Happens When You Let Courage In?

By Andrea Schroeder / April 23, 2013 / healing

I’ve been having regular meetings with courage, in preparation for the?Playdate with Courage on May 3.

While I’m not expecting myself to feel courageous by May 3, I do need to be able to weave a field of healing and transformation for the group and hold that space as I invite Courage in. ?So I keep meeting with Courage to build my relationship and connection with it.

Courage keeps showing up as a little boy.

Sometimes he’s playing baseball, wearing a helmet. ?Sometimes he’s wearing a superhero cape.

Today he’s wearing his cape, sitting down cross legged, arms crossed across his chest, a scowl on his face, aimed at me.

So I sat down, we’re sitting on concrete outside a school. ?Oh, this is where I went to elementary school. ?He’s showing me the story of when I stopped playing with him.

He’s showing me the stories of what could have happened, going into junior high and high school, had we stayed friends.

Which, of course, makes me think of what could be happening right now, if we were to rekindle our friendship.

I take a deep breath.

I want to say I’m sorry about that story of when I stopped playing with him but he knows. ?And actually he is sorrier than I am about it. ?That scowl isn’t so much a scowl, he’s sad.

He understands that I got scared and he wishes he could have found a way to stick by me anyway.

Then he says that later on, he did figure out how to stick by me anyway. ?Showing me the trajectory of my life I can see where he came back to me.

But he’s done all he can while hiding in the shadows like this. ?It’s time for me to do my part and claim Courage.

Deep breath.

I don’t know what to do.

He shows me that of course I do know what to do. ?What would you tell yourself right now if you were your own client, he asks.

I’d bring this whole story into present time. ?I can’t claim seven year old courage, I need to claim thirty eight year old courage.

I bring us into the DreamLoft but no, that’s too uncomfortable.

We meet at Starbucks instead. ?I see myself sitting there, ready to meet Courage and now he’s an elephant, sitting the chair across from me.

I reach out and take his hands (hands? hoofs?). ?He transforms into me. ?A brighter stronger me, who floats through the table and merges with me.

I am Courageous.

I can feel that energy shift and can tell that there is Courage in me now. ?Of course, there always was, we all have Courage in us. ?But now I’m aware of it and making space for it.

I have a lot of energy work to do to acclimate to Courage and to create spaces in me, and my life, where it can live comfortably – so it has what it needs to do what it needs to do.

I have huge internal resistance to Courage. ?I can feel that part of me wanting to slow down this process, letting me know that I have more important things to do. ?And that Courage is boring, can’t we work on something more fun?

What does Courage do, inside of me?

It heads to the Department of Internal Steadiness and pours a solid concrete foundation for the whole department.

That feels very good. ?Even the parts of me who resist courage are pretty happy to have that new solid foundation for the Department, so they’re starting to appreciate that Courage may be helpful to have around.

ps: The May Courage Event is for Creative Dream Circle members, which you are welcome to join right?here. ?I?d love to have your courageous (or not-so courageous) self be a part of it!

What Happens When You Let Courage In? Read More »

Hello, Money.

By Andrea Schroeder / March 7, 2013 / creative entrepreneur, healing, money

As part of my post-Creative With Money Playdate Assignments (fyi I am working on a kit version of the Playdate!) I have a monthly meeting with money.? Not like, spreadsheets and budgets, I look at the financial stuff in my business all the time. ?These meetings are different, this is where I meet with money, soul to soul.

Right now the Soul of Money appears to me as a peacock that lays golden eggs.

The backstory: It started out as a dam that first just confused me and then allowed me to profit from flow, and has since morphed into a few other stories and has been the peacock since last fall.? As I did my best to do what the peacock was asking me to to, in the winter it started laying golden eggs to show me possibility but I didn’t have a way to turn the eggs into anything useful.

When I tried to pick up the golden eggs, the gold peeled off and turned to dust.? Abundance was right there but I couldn’t pick it up.? But I kept working with the peacock and then this amazing golden art deco carriage showed up right behind the peacock that turned the eggs into coins.

And now, this month, there is a lot more gold sparkling in the air than last month, like the peacock has this permanent gold glitter backdrop.

But the peacock looks tired, and a little annoyed.

And so we begin (peacock’s words are in italic):

Honey, you’re not picking up all the coins!

What? I’m supposed to pick them all up?? How?

[We both sit in silence. I’m imagining running around exhausting myself trying to pick up the coins. The peacock is looking at all the coins strewn about on the ground and feeling sad about them going to waste.]

The carriage needs an accessory that gathers and holds the coins.

No, that’s your job.? Seriously!? I am laying the freaking golden eggs plus got this amazing cart that turns them into coins!? All you have to do is pick them up!? You won’t even gather the gold coins I have brought to you?

It’s not that I won’t.? I just don’t know how. Or… I guess I didn’t know that I was supposed to.

Honey, you have to receive me.

I thought I already did.

Well, you do.? But more is coming your way so you have to beef up your receiving.

How?

You know how.? Those thoughts in your head right now… act on them.

OK, I can do that.

Remember: Don’t worry about how to do it, just do it.? The how will work itself out like it always does as long as you do what feels right and don’t do what feels wrong and LOTS of creative journaling BEFORE acting.

I should go buy some new art supplies.

YES! Get that stuff you need that makes creative journaling more fun.? Also: drink lots of tea, listen to music and fill the fridge with delicious and nourishing things.? Create the perfect container to bring all of this to life.? Picking up the coins is not the chore you’ve been making it out to be!? It’s a party, sweetie.

I see that now.? OK! I want to go shopping and then get journaling.? Thank you for this.

Clear Direction!? What a gift.

And I started to paint….

And it turned into a money compass.? Excited to see where it goes.

Hello, Money. Read More »

How Meeting your FEARS with CREATIVITY and LOVE Means you’ll Never Have to Stay STUCK

By Andrea Schroeder / March 5, 2013 / healing

Every time I talk to a client who is really stuck about something, once when we get a clear picture of what’s happening, the problem is? that they are listening to their inner critics.

There is no other cause of stuck.? It really is as simple as that.

I know it seems like it’s got to be more complicated than that, but it isn’t.? You can only do one thing at a time, and that one thing can either be what your infinite creative potential is suggesting or what your inner critics are suggesting.

What makes it seem more complicated is that most people’s infinite creative potential speaks to them in a whisper, while their inner critics are screaming.? Your infinite creative potential is actually much more powerful and much louder – but if you’ve spent your whole life tuning it out of course you’re not going to be able to hear it!? Meanwhile, if you’ve spent a lifetime of listening to your inner critic of course you’re going to hear it loud and clear!

This is the stuff I wish they taught in schools.

Learning how to tune into the voice of your infinite creative potential and turn down the volume on your inner critic is the secret to success.

Every minute you spend listening to your fears, doubts and inner critics is a minute in which you are NOT building your Empire of Creative Dreams.

You may be so used to listening to them that it feels so natural that you don’t even know you’re doing it.

You know you are listening to your inner critics if:

You see a LOT of obstacles in your way.
You’re waiting for things to change before you can go for your dream.
You’re pretty sure if you did go for it, you’d fall flat on your face.
You have a lot of other obligations right now and don’t have time to dream.
Your dream is a nice hobby but there’s no way it could be a Big Serious Thing.? Best to hold onto that day job.
You totally want to go after your dream, you just don’t have enough time/support/money.
You have no idea what to do about your dream.

Now wouldn’t it be nice to be listening to your infinite creative potential instead?? You know this is happening when:

You see the obstacles, and you see ways to work around them.
You’re passionately mapping out a way to get exactly what you want.
You’re willing to fail but deep down inside you believe in yourself and you believe in your dream.
You’re seeing ways to set up your life to make room for everything that’s important, including your dreams.
You sometimes surprise yourself with how BIG you’re dreaming, and you love it.
You are determined to find a way to make this work, you don’t need to wait until you have the time/money/support.
You are filled with inspiration and really amazing ideas for how to move forward.

Learning how to make this internal shift is the most important thing you can learn.

Read that second list again and imagine what your life would be like if all of these things were true for you.

Here’s the secret: you can’t do this by OBLITERATING your fear.

Or ignoring it or burying it or fakin’ it ’til you make it

Because your fear is a part of you too.

Your fear, doubts and even your meanest inner critics are actually just a freaked out inner child.

Meeting that child with love calms it down.
Meeting that child with creativity transforms the situation.

You give it a hug and say “Oh sweetie, I see you’re upset.? Let’s see what we can do to make you feel better” and you explore.

The beauty, magic and power in this approach is that in order to meet your fear in that way, you automatically align yourself with your infinite creative potential.?

When you’re plugged into creativity and love you’re plugged into your magic and you’re in that place where everything is possible.? This disengages the energy dynamic you’ve been in with your fears.

Meeting your fears, doubts and inner critics with creativity and love will transform the situation, every time.? It’s the fastest way to getting un-stuck.

With love and compassion you work with your fear to create a new possibility.

Deep down inside, your inner critics, fears and doubts (AKA frightened inner children) want the same things you do.?

When you enter into a loving and creative energy dynamic with them you can now work together to get those things.

Want to experiment and play with this?

This is the essence of what we do in the Un-Sticking Station in the Creative Dream Circle.

You even get a recording called: How Meeting Your Fears With Creativity + Love Means You Never Have to Stay Stuck, where we create a beautiful safe space for exploring fears, I talk about how this works and then lead a few volunteers through the process so you can see how it actually works.

This is so abstract, it’s kind of hard to explain.? But once you experience what it’s like to see people work through the process, you’ll totally see the magic.

What you’ll get:

A deeper understanding of how to handle fears/doubts/limiting beliefs/inner critics
A simple process you can use to gently and effectively disarm your fears whenever they strike
Deep down knowing that you are not alone in this, which makes it a gazillion times easier to deal with.

I believe we are always either listing to our fears or listening to our creative genius.? Fears are good at masquerading as a lot of other things, like logic and sensibleness, and the better you get at working with fear, the better you get at identifying it so that you can spend more of your life being guided by your genius, instead of by your fears.

In other words – meeting your fears with creativity and love is HOW YOU CREATE MAGIC.

The world needs your magic.

PS: That longer How Meeting Your Fears With Creativity + Love Means You’ll Never Have To Stay Stuck recording is in the Creative Dream Circle.

How Meeting your FEARS with CREATIVITY and LOVE Means you’ll Never Have to Stay STUCK Read More »