healing

Journal Prompts for when you’re so stuck you can’t do anything but you also can’t just give up

(Since my year-long project on exploring my resistance has me getting more organized as a way of supporting my creative flow, I am going through things I have written. I wrote this one a few years ago and then never shared it!)

Journal Prompts for when you're so stuck you can't do anything but you also can't just give it up

I went to see a friend I hadn't seen in a long time.

In the time I hadn't seen her, she sold her business, retired, moved, and dealt with several family illnesses and deaths.

She was telling me about her new creative dream - to write a book. It's a very specific book, and as she was telling me about it I realised.... she had told me about this before. Before all these big changes, before the pandemic.

She kind of winced. "Yeah, I have been wanting to do this a long time. I mean... I did write one chapter."

But the way she said "I did write one chapter" discounted what she was saying. Like, because she didn't make the progress she wanted to make, the progress she DID make is not valid.

We were quiet for a minute and then she said "It's just so hard"

I've heard that so many times from so many people and each and every one of them felt ALONE in it.

Like everyone else is happily writing and creating and getting things done and they are just all alone in finding this all kind of hard.

But it's hard for everyone.

It's hard for everyone and that hard is magnified by feelings of shame and failure and being all alone in it.

This is why I do my work in an ongoing community -  so you can see that others are on the path with you and help normalize that it's just hard. (Join us here, it's amazing!)

When you accept that it's just hard then you don't have to get all emotionally tangled up about it being hard.

You don't have to be STUCK in the hard.

You can just face the hard parts and move through them. You take your power back. (I know it's not quite that simple, but I have a lot of tools to help you do this in Dream Book. It's absolutely do-able, with some time and work.)

It's hard because it's vulnerable.

Listening to your dreams is some of the most vulnerable work you can do. It touches on your deepest inner stuff because it pushes you to be more authentic in how you're showing up in your life.

That's vulnerable because of the reasons WHY you're not already being more authentic, creative, powerful and brave in how you're showing up in your life.

This is all very deep down hard wired and mostly lives in the shadows where you can't see it.

Working with your dreams makes it more visible because your dreams push up against this and asks you to bring healing and new possibilities to these places inside you.

So: Journal Prompts for when you're so stuck you can't do anything but you also can't just give it up:

Where are things really hard for you right now with your dream?

How does this feel? Where is this feeling in your body?

Stay with this. DO NOT move ahead to the next prompts, don’t try to get to the solution. Stay with the feelings until you feel you have fully described them. For bonus points: can you actually FEEL the feelings? Notice where they are in your body and focus on those sensations.

What are the other thoughts, feelings and questions that come up when you sit with how hard things are with your dream?

How can you validate all of these ways that you react to it being hard?

I can tell you: your thoughts, feelings and reactions ARE VALID. This is hard stuff! You’re doing great! But how can you validate this for yourself?

How can you think of yourself as a success for staying with this?

If you’re feeling like you’ve failed because this feels stuck, can you instead see yourself as being IN PROCESS? Instead of seeing yourself as stuck, can you see yourself as being incredibly brave because you’re still showing up?

Can you remember that creative dreaming is about answering your soul’s calling which includes a lot of inner healing and growth, and that your dreams often push you to face all the hardest things you have to face, all of the things you would much rather avoid, and so: it’s not that you are struggling with this, it’s that this is inherently experiment difficult work and no one moves through it in a linear way?

No one moves through it as quickly as they would like to. No one “feels successful” while they are in the middle of it. AND YET YOU ARE SUCCESSFUL BECAUSE YOU’RE STILL HERE.

How can you offer love to the places in you that are hurting with all of this?

How can you offer love to the places in you where you feel stuck and small?

Really sit with this. Be with the sensations in your body, ask yourself what you need and give yourself some time to find an answer that feels right for you.

Can you trust that your inner genius is guiding you?

And that this means: if you have some really hard stuff going on and you feel stuck, that maybe being with this stuck is the right thing for you do right now? Can you see this as a part of your path?

Somewhere inside you, you do know how to work with this obstacle. What would help you get in touch with this part of you?

HINT: It’s RELALY hard to do this work when you are avoiding anything that you’re feeling. So you may need to repeat this process a few times before you start to get in touch with the answers… but I promise they are inside you.

Want more help with this?

If you're in Dream Book, you have a whole library of inner work practices here.

If you're not in Dream Book, check out my free courses, which include a healing circle for working through the hard stuff.

Come dream with us

 

Dream Book members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

Journal Prompts for when you’re so stuck you can’t do anything but you also can’t just give up Read More »

I am a living growing ball of chaos, magic and contradictions. I am not a robot.

This is an old photo of my old workspace, but the creative mess really matched how I am feeling.

It’s a sleepy morning. I open my journal and feel wildly grateful for the Dream Book journaling kit because I have some structure and a helpful question to start with, instead of a blank page.

This is so good!

Two minutes later I am on my phone, googling tinted moisturizers.

It’s partly resistance.

But another part is that I am trying to have a specific kind of day, doing a specific kind of work, and that’s just not where my energy is at. I’m trying to get myself to where I want to be, rather than be where I am.

Monday mornings I want to (?) (should?) do planning and strategizing and I am really not feeling it. Especially after a weekend of relaxing, a slower start would make more sense. Like - unfocused creative work. Journaling, writing, or working on artwork that is already planned.

If you are a regular reader then you know - this is not a new dynamic for me!

And I SOLVED this dynamic by moving my weekly planning to Friday.

And it took a few weeks for me to really get into it, but once I got to a place where I was consistently planning on Fridays everything was working better.

And now here we are, back at stage one. Arriving at Monday morning with no plan and no head for planning. So of course I’d rather just google tinted moisturizers than figure out how I am going to do the things I want to do.

I don’t share these things for sympathy.

I honestly don’t want sympathy or empathy or anything.

This is just my process. I’m fine with it.

I share these things to say: THIS IS WHAT THE PROCESS LOOKS LIKE.

I am a person who has successfully supported herself with her creative dreams for the last 13 years.

And this is what that looks like some days.

This is completely natural and ok and I am still going to get to where I want to be. Maybe I won’t get there today, but that’s fine.

We have this sense that if we can’t get our shit together and keep it together when we’ll never succeed with anything.

But this is just not true.

I can know better and NOT do better. And I can just keep showing up and working on it.

The process is messy.

And I am well aware that I could be more organized about how I run my business.

I could run it like an actual business, lol.

But I’m a mentor, writer and artist. I’m really good at these things and I also - these are the things I want to do.

I don’t want to be a CEO. I don’t want to set up a whole business that has so much structure that I always know what to do on any given day because it’s been planned out months in advance.

My definition of success includes space to flounder.

A lot of growth and new ideas come from the floundering.

And it feels so important to me lately that we ACCEPT and CHERISH and HONOUR our process as it is.

That little voice that is always criticizing my way of doing things (”You aren’t organized enough!” “You’re too slow!”) has been getting quieter. The internalized rules about “how things should be done” feel less relevant than they ever have.

I love this.

Come dream with us

 

Dream Book members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

I am a living growing ball of chaos, magic and contradictions. I am not a robot. Read More »

It’s easy for me to have what I want

 

This is the mantra I got in this week’s journaling + alchemy kit: It’s easy for me to have what I want.

This is a hard one!

In the message I send out with this one I talk about how much this one has PUSHED me.

Remembering that with these mantras we are never trying to force ourselves to feel a certain way or pretend to have a belief we don’t genuinely have. We are exploring, learning more about ourselves and how to bring ourselves more of what we want and need.

It’s easy for me to have what I want. I mean it would be amazing to feel this way all the time.

And we have to recognize that, in the culture we live in with intersecting systems of privilege and oppression, the more intersections of privilege you have the easier this one is to believe because invisible systems really are making it easier for you to get what you want.

So if this one feels really hard for you, that’s not necessarily on you.

Recognizing where dominant culture makes it harder for you to receive what you want is not “playing the victim” or “being negative” - it’s having clear sight.

And with clear sight you can see the path much better.

AND of course we might have places in us that believe that it's "just too hard" to go after the things we really want, and it's our work to detangle those beliefs.

So this is a tricky one.

One question it brings up is - how do we open up more space for receptivity?

I did a receptivity call last year - the replay is very helpful! I do a mini version of that practice most mornings before I get out of bed. We can practice and learn to BECOME more receptive, we’re not just stuck where we are with it.

What do you think?

When do you feel like it’s easy for you to receive what you want?

And when DON’T you?

And what could you do about that?

Come dream with us

 

Dream Book members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

It’s easy for me to have what I want Read More »

Holding space for something new to be born in your life is fucking brutal

Being optimistic enough to have a dream and go after it is brutal some days.

Your dream will break your heart.

It will ask you to be braver than you think you can be.

It will push you to face all the things you’d rather avoid.

It will ask you to keep going when you want to give up.

The days where it all feels impossible are not the days when you’re failing.

Those are times of healing, reckoning and growth.

This is the work.

As we get this new year started, there can be pressure to already know your goals and plans for the year. To already be on the way to SUCCESS!

But maybe that’s not the season you’re in.

Dominant culture expects us to always be on, always be productive.

Most healing and personal development are expecting you to be a constant upward trajectory, manifesting everything your heart’s desires, 24/7.

THIS IS ABSOLUTE BULLSHIT.

I just want you (and me!) to recognize how brave you are for having a dream.

For seeing a way of creating a better future, and believing in it.

For showing up, and taking the little steps.

This is magic.

And a part of making any dream happen is being with all of the stuff that comes up when your dream does break your heart.

Sitting with it. Feeling your feelings. Tending to the tender places.

This work is ongoing.

It’s so easy to feel like “Oh I’ve dealt with that” or “I should be further along at this point” but the work is ongoing.

The other day my therapist asked me “Do you think you’ll be DONE some day? Like, no more feelings? No more learning or growing? Are you trying to figure EVERYTHING out RIGHT NOW?”

Yikes.

It’s so easy to forget that this work is ongoing.

Most of the people I work with in Dream Book have been doing this work for decades. Lots of them are healers, coaches, therapists and mentors. They are so smart! They have great tools! They help other people overcome huge stuff every day and… their own work is ongoing.

Just like my work is ongoing.

This will be discouraging at times but please don’t give up.

The work is ongoing.

Your dream is how your soul calls you toward your true self and this is a life-long journey.

Dream Book members: if this work feels fucking brutal for you right now - remember the Creative Dream Alchemy Library of Inner Work Practices!

Come dream with us

 

Dream Book members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

Holding space for something new to be born in your life is fucking brutal Read More »

A convoluted conversation with resistance where resistance makes me take my own medicine

Hi resistance. I feel so lost today.

Resistance is a little sleepy and confused (like me, actually). You’re reaching out to me about this?

Well I’m not sure who else to reach out to?

I mean - your wisest self, bravest self, most energized self, most creative self… there are lots of yous who are equipped to help with this. I’m an interesting choice.

Yeah. But you’re who came to mind, so - I feel lost today. What do you think?

Is LOST really the best description? If BEING WITH helps us MOVE THROUGH and staying vague and not present is a way to make everything harder… which are you doing when you say you’re lost?

The second one. More specifically I feel anxious, and tired, and spacey, and like why bother doing anything anyway when everything is so hard?

What’s hard?

Silence.

Because I saw you getting ready for the day. Picking out clothes, packing your stuff for the coffee shop, excited about your projects. I see your life, and how things are actually going really well for you. So what’s hard?

I just feel like I’m in quicksand this morning.

Which is what resistance feels like.

Yup. This feels so convoluted because I feel like I am me, and you are my resistance - only I’m the one in resistance? But this is what I mean about how I feel today. Everything is all screwed up. I can’t even talk to my own self without it being all convoluted.

Oh honey. She gives me a hug and I start to cry. Your feelings are valid, you know. Everything I said about things going well, that’s all true, and it doesn’t mean you won’t have a lot of uncomfortable feelings anyway.

Yeah. Ugh. Now my back is hurting, I hate this chair.

Resistance rubs my back.

OK obviously I miss having a really affectionate partner. I don’t get hugs and backrubs and this sucks.

Yes, sweetie, that sucks.

Ok acknowledging that feels better. It feels so tangly because I also don’t want a partner right now.

Yeah for sure! So where are you at now?

I guess the work I want to do feels HEAVY and BIG and I feel weak and small in comparison. Oh I guess heavy is the wrong word. It feels out of reach.

And isn't this exactly what you help people do? Do the things that feel out of reach?

Yeah.

So what are the tools you would suggest for this situation?

Oh wow, resistance is going to make me take my own medicine.

OK here are the tools I would suggest:

Making your trust in your dream bigger than your fears.

Dream Self process

Dream Lab to ask the dream what you should do today.

Alchemy Process for working with overwhelm

Alchemy process for getting answers from your dream

Alchemy process for acclimating to your dream

I mean there are more actually but any of these would work. Though of course we should mention the video for when you’re in resistance.

"So what are you going to do?" Resistance asks.

Alchemy process for getting answers from your dream

My question is: I want to feel energized and creative and I want to be doing things! You know a huge part of my dream right now is simply acting on all of this inspiration but my progress is soooo sloooooow. How do I get there?

All of my anxiety and tangled feelings are here with me in the meditation. Feels good to include them and not try pretend to be somewhere I’m not.

The field of creative dream alchemy feels like spring. A meadow full of flowers, soft light. My mood shifts so much through the grounding and connecting parts.

My dream shows up as a blue bird. Like a cartoon super bright blue birds. Oh there are a whole bunch of them! Maybe I’m Snow White? They fly around me. But as they do, they are guiding me out of the meadow, onto a path in the woods.

The birds are flying and moving. In circles often, but also they are getting somewhere. In the part of the meditation where I talk about how the dream shows up in the meditation I get it - my dream is showing me to JUST GET MOVING.

Laying in the field of flowers is great and important and we should do it every day AND ALSO let’s get on the path and get moving, let’s do that every day too.

I have to pause the meditation often, to be with my own experience without my voice in my ears.

I give my question to the birds and they can’t quite hold it. It’s too heavy. There is this struggle and it’s like - I can’t be fully connected to my dream AND be in this question.

The question starts to lighten up and I look more closely and see some bees are there, pouring honey on it.

It’s getting sweeter and lighter.

Now the birds can carry it. And they put it at the top of a very tall tree.

And I get this whole new idea: A notebook of SELF CARE PROTOCOLS.

Like: if I wake up feeling lost: this is what I do.

When I feel anxious: this is what I do.

Etc.

I mean, I have had SO MANY versions of this so many times in my life.

I need a new one for where I am now.

I sit with this and realize - I am still operating on some pre-pandemic protocols. The thing where getting up and GETTING MOVING helps me get into the mindset I want/need to be in for my work. My pre-pandemic self almost always had the ability to get myself moving no matter how lost or heavy I felt on any given morning.

What if I be sweet to myself, and recognize that who I am today today doesn’t have that ability?

Like sure, do that when I can because it works for me!

But on the days when I can’t - what’s the protocol then? I need clear plans or else my mood takes over planning my day and that will never go well.

I’ve been sitting with this question and only one idea is coming to me: make art. Make myself a latte, and a smoothie or whatever food I feel like, put on comfy clothes, get my art box and big sketchbook journal, put on soothing music, lay on the floor and make art. Express my feelings.

OK this feels embarrassing.

I mean - this is nothing I don’t already know about myself.

BUT/AND

Some days we can’t access the things we know.

Some days we can’t be our “best selves”.

And since I am in the process of planning calls for 2024 - I am going to do one on creating self care protocols for those times when you are not at your best.

Update: I added that call to the library!

I added 4 new calls this week:

Feb 15: Exploring Resistance and Creative Flow

March 12: Taking Inner Work Deeper

April 9: Letting Your Dream Come To You Instead of Chasing After It

May 15: Creating Self Care Protocols That Help You Be The Version Of You Who Can Do Your Dream

Come dream with us

 

Dream Book members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

A convoluted conversation with resistance where resistance makes me take my own medicine Read More »

For When Your Dream Falls Apart

In the fall, when everything in my life felt so hard, I was looking forward to winter.

I love winter anyway, but this year I was really craving the quiet and stillness of it.

The magic of sleeping in a bit and still being able to walk to the coffee shop during the sunrise.

The spaciousness of early sunsets and quiet evenings at home.

And how magic and spaciousness are so healing for me.

Last night I was lying in bed, and my furnace kicked on.

My heart actually exploded in gratitude. I wanted to cry. I was so amazed and grateful that I have my own furnace. It’s only job is to keep me warm.

I felt so loved and safe.

Just from having a furnace. The same furnace I’ve been glad to have, but mostly taken for granted for years.

And I thought about how much I love everything about my home, not just the furnace, how I am not taking it for granted. Something about going through a divorce has me more present with all of the things I love about my life.

There is magic in a breakup because there is healing in a breakup.

And as long as I stay present with my feelings, not denying the hard parts but also not wallowing in them - I get to have all of this magic, too.

My life feels bigger. I feel bigger. Possibility feels bigger.

And it’s so wild to me since I didn’t choose this divorce. But I feel healed and freed by it, too.

And I want to add - in therapy we’ve been looking at all the ways I did contribute to the divorce, not a blaming way, I don’t want to blame or or blame him, just in a way that comes back to this truth: what is best for one is best for both.

AND this is all a part of creative dreaming.

I'm been committed to having my inner truth guide my actions, and so - if I am doing my best with that, then I need to accept the outcomes as they happen.

The path doesn’t look the way we think it will. This is true for most dreams.

I am thinking about how often our creative dreams do fall apart, just like marriages, and how this is all a part of it.

If nothing ever falls apart, there is no space for anything new!

I wrote this a few weeks ago, but now I see how it fits with my work right now of creating a container for my dreams to grow, and how I MAKE SPACE for them.

Dream Book members: there is a mini-class on For When Your Dream Falls Apart.

Come dream with us

 

Dream Book members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

For When Your Dream Falls Apart Read More »

Can you take a smaller step?

This is where I keep stumbling:

I am forgetting the magic of little steps.

I know this is kind of funny given how often I write about it. And how I am ALWAYS coaching others to look for smaller steps. And then smaller still.

But here I am, discounting my own little steps.

I think this is a part of the nature of being creative: we see the big picture. I can see how I want it to be and so each little step really is unsatisfying… if I stay focused on the bigger picture.

So here are so tiny steps I took:

  • I got my paints out from the bottom of my closet and put them in front of my bookshelf, to I could start working on that mural in my workspace.
  • I pulled that bookshelf out to make some room to get back there and paint.
  • I brought a chair upstairs to stand on to paint.

With these three things done, each as separate steps at separate times, at one point I just… started painting!!!!

It’s easy to see “paint one little bit” as a little step, but it took three other steps to get there. And it would have take more steps if all of my paint stuff for this project hadn’t already been together in one box in my closet.

What I want to work on is having an attitude that CELEBRATES and HONOURS the tiniest little steps.

I don’t want to wait until I see new paint on the wall to acknowledge that I am DOING IT.

AND

I wrote this a week ago.

In the week since, I have done VERY LITTLE on the mural. For various and very valid reasons.

But that doesn't discount the success of those steps I took last week.

And it doesn’t change the fact that I am still set up to take more little steps.

This attitude of CELEBRATING and HONOURING the tiniest little steps that I want to have is a part of CHERISHING THE PROCESS.

Our whole culture tells us that the outcome is the only thing that matters. And that a story, like the one I shared above, is only inspirational if it ends up that I completed the mural in record time.

The truth about creativity and human nature and life under colonialist capitalism is that it doesn’t usually work that way, and having a goal of wanting it to work that way for you gets in the way of ACTUAL PROGRESS.

So what’s the tiniest step you can see to take?

And can you make it even smaller?

And then can you celebrate yourself for taking it, even when it doesn’t get you all of the way to where you want to be? Can you celebrate the direction you’re going in instead of focusing on the speed?

Come dream with us

 

Dream Book members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

Can you take a smaller step? Read More »

Which parts are you avoiding?

I’m still thinking about how I show up here and how I want to show up here.

I love how I show up on classes and calls, but the ways I share my work outside of those circles often feels fraught.

Working with dreams is intensely vulnerable. Most dreams never even get named because most people find it too vulnerable to even get close. This is one of the ways dominant culture fails us, by not holding space for vulnerability.

This is why I’ve always shared my thoughts, stories and feelings online the way I do.

This is why I share my stumblings as much as my successes. I probably share them more because I want all of us to see them as no big deal.

Failure IS a tool for building your dreams. If you can’t use it, you can’t build anything.

And personally we all get upset when we fail - for good reason.

But then culturally we’ve created this space where it’s not at all safe to fail. Which ricochets back to our own personal relationships with failure, heightening all of the already difficult feelings.

So I share my little stories as a way of chipping away at that. This feels important to me but it’s not always comfortable!!!

I’m living proof that you can be vulnerable and survive.

Not that I am saying you need to be vulnerable in public like I do!

But you do need to be able to tell yourself the truth about what you want, and what’s in the way, and all of the feelings that get sparked in all of that.

And I know it can feel safer to avoid all of that… but thoughts and feeling that we avoid don’t actually go away.

So - what parts are you avoiding today?

And what teeny tiny little baby step can you take with that?

Come dream with us

 

Dream Book members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

Which parts are you avoiding? Read More »

How do I love myself and love my future enough to stay on track with my goals?

I started using the weekly journaling kits for STRUCTURE but it’s also giving me some vibes (each week has a different quality and mantra) and some different ways to consider how I am working with my dreams (each week has a journaling prompt about that).

I forgot how MAGIC these kits are when you spend time with them every week because they are a way of making space for insights to emerge.

So this is the insight I had this week:

I have struggled with staying on track with certain goals because I am coming at them from a place of DETERMINATION.

What if I came at it from LOVE?

When I am fueled by determination, I can show up for a while but it gets so tiring. And then it gets boring. And then I wonder… do I REALLY even want this? And I definitely do want it, but I don’t like the process and eventually I stop showing up.

And “‘determination” really is plugged into self-improvement 🤮 and all the says dominant culture encourages us to accomplish external things in order to be proven worthy, instead of validating that fact that each of us is inherently worthy.

This is a part of a bigger shift I am in.

Brought on by so many things.. my age, peri-menopause, the way the world is changing as late-stage capitalism starts to fail, things I am learning about my self after 30 years of working on self discovery… I am in-plugging from so many “learned” ways of being to embrace my most authentic ways of being.

This is what I’ve been doing for 30 years already!!! So I’ve made loads of progress and it can feel so frustrating to see the places where I have work to do.

AND some of the places where I am still plugged in are starting to feel SO FUCKING UNCOMFORTABLE and it feels URGENT that I do something about it.

So. This clue - being fueled by love instead of determination - feels so important.

And it’s funny because people in Dream Book are always telling me how much they appreciate my approach which is SO MUCH driven by love and soul, especially compared to other approaches out there.

But there is a next level and it’s time to look for it.

How do I LOVE MYSELF and LOVE MY FUTURE enough to stay on track with these goals?

Which is not a question to answer right away. It‘s a question to sit with over time. To be with all of my different responses and reactions to it.

Dream Book members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

How do I love myself and love my future enough to stay on track with my goals? Read More »

The Resistance Project: my resistance turns into a witch + wise woman

OK Hi Resistance.

This feels weird. Usually you are like, SUPER SUPER VERY PRESENT and I try to pretend you’re not for a while, and we go in circles, and then finally I throw up my hands and say “Ok fine let’s meet! Hello resistance!”

But here I am. Willingly coming to you even though you’re not really coming to me today.

Resistance shows up as a witch. A wise older woman.

“Oh this is nice. I’ll put the kettle on for tea.”

She rummages around in the freezer to pull some cookies out then turns around and looks at me, pointedly.

And I know what she’s thinking.

I became that kind of person - the kind who can rummage around for home made cookies in her freezer. The kind of person who cooks and bakes from scratch, healthy and yummy things, and knows how to take care of… herself. Suddenly I see, all the ways I tried to take care of my husband and step-children, these are ways I ultimately learned to take care of ME.

OK but I am not here to talk about my divorce.

She raises an eyebrow and again I can read her mind.

It’s all connected.

I started the resistance project because I wanted more creative flow. Not to go BACK to were I was before the pandemic and peri-menopause. But to move FORWARD in my most powerful and aligned way. There is so much I want to do and create and I felt called to get a better handle on my resistance.

But, sitting here in this witch’s kitchen having a cup of tea and a cookie, I see that it’s all connected.

“This divorce is the most powerful thing you have right now” she says.

And I get it. I have been wanting to move THROUGH it rather than find out how deep I can go INTO it.

And, what the resistance witch is saying is - if I try to compartmentalize different parts of my life I can never be in my power. And creative flow is, partly, about power.

And resistance is, partly, about resisting my power.

And a divorce, like other unwelcome and difficult events, blows things up and gives you this magical opportunity to put them together in a whole new way. A way that makes more space for your power.

And, I wish it could go without saying but I think it always needs to be said, this isn’t about bypassing the hard. It’s more about being SO present with ALL of the hard parts that get triggered that healing, growth and miracles become inevitable.

I ask for another cookie.

We’re still right at the start of this resistance project, and resistance has already transformed from a vague annoying heavy cloud of darkness into a wise witch teacher and healer.

This is so good.

Come dream with us

 

Dream Book members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

The Resistance Project: my resistance turns into a witch + wise woman Read More »

You are worthy

YOU ARE WORTHY OF YOUR BIGGEST DREAMS.

We all have a ceiling on what we think is actually possible for us and that ceiling isn't about reality, it's about our own self concept, which is completely malleable.

Though I don't believe we should be constantly pushing on that ceiling in the name of "dreaming bigger".

It's that we have a mental concept of "right size" "too small" and "too big" and sometimes our dreams push up against that, and so we try to shrink our dreams into what feels do-able.

But your dream is your soul speaking to you.

So, instead of trying to shove it into a smaller container that fits with your current sense of what is possible for you, how about you listen to what it's actually saying?

You are worthy of your BIGGEST dreams.

How about giving yourself space to consider... what do you REALLY want?

Yes, you live in a world that is hostile to dreams. Yes, compromises may need to be made. Yes, the world will judge and belittle your dreams and ask you who are you to think you can do this?

AND your dream is your soul calling you towards your true self. There is magic and power in this.

And there is a big difference between going after your dream and landing on a compromise, and making compromises about what you will ever allow yourself to dream about 👈👈👈

Your dream is here to heal and grow you. But it can only work it's magic if you accept it.

YOU ARE WORTHY OF YOUR WEIRDEST DREAMS

The call to conform is so powerful and invisible. We don't even notice all the ways we censor and distort ourselves in order to fit in.

All the ways your heart's desires stray from the mainstream point to your unique power and magic.

You're not a cookie cutter you're a living breathing mystery.

Everywhere you try to fit in you cut yourself off from your own magic

YOU ARE WORTHY OF YOUR WILDEST DREAMS

FEELING WORTHY of your dreams is magic. It's healing.

CLAIMING YOUR DREAMS is saying: This is the world I want to help create. This is what I believe in. This is what is important to me. THIS is who I am.

Though it's SO EASY to feel not good enough because dreams are so VULNERABLE.

FEELING WORTHY of your dreams isn't something you naturally have, or don't have.

It's a thing to cultivate. 👈👈👈

In all my years of doing this work, I have never worked with anyone who ALWAYS felt worthy of their dreams.

Of course it's possible that those people exist but just don't hire people like me. But it's more likely that we ALL struggle with this...

But I don't think it's human nature to doubt our dreams, I think it's a consequence of the colonialist capitalist culture we live in.

And guess what? ARTISTS AND DREAMERS HAVE THE ABILITY TO IMPACT AND CHANGE CULTURE.

But to do this we have to keep doing the work of freeing ourselves of the ways our culture negatively impacts us.

We have to DO THE WORK to cultivate a sense of worthiness.

Your dreams chose you.

You are already worthy.

It's up to you if you're going to cultivate worthiness as a FEELING and STATE OF BEING.

This was a message I received from my dream last year.

In response, I create two alchemy classes for Dream Book members:

FEELING WORTHY of your dreams

BEING OPEN + RECEPTIVE to your dreams

And I know a lot of you did this work with me then, I want to encourage you to keep doing it. (And if you didn't - join Dream Book now and do it!!!!)

FEELING WORTHY OF MY DREAMS is a daily practice.

Come dream with us

 

Dream Book members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

You are worthy Read More »

Holding space for the hard during the holidays

I'm back with a second blog post for today because I think this needs to be said right now!

The holidays can be hard and our culture isn’t good at holding space for that, which makes the hard harder.

This year at Thanksgiving (in Canada, Thanksgiving is different than the US and happens in October) I was right in the midst of a LOT of hard. My husband had moved out only a month a half before and I think I was still in shock. My step-son had been in ICU for three weeks and his situation was still life threatening. (He was in the hospital for almost three moths, and is at home recovering now)

While my mom prepared a lovely meal for us, Thanksgiving day just felt so weird and wrong for me. I went home and had a cry, and then my husband texted me about how weird his Thanksgiving felt, and we had a good talk about it.

It felt so good and reassuring to be witnessed. To not be alone in the holiday feeling weird and wrong.

And that’s what’s missing in our culture.

So, that’s what WE need to bring.

We need to validate our own feelings and experiences. We need to stop trying to cram our feelings, needs and experiences into whatever shape our culture expects them to be and let them BE what they ARE.

Creative Dreaming is about showing up in your life as your true self. Shining your light, sharing your gifts, making things happen AND ALSO feeling how you feel, being how you are.

Most of the new age and life coaching worlds draw from dominant culture and push this idea of perfection onto us. Like we are failing if we’re not excited about the holidays. Like we are failing if we can’t say that 2023 was our best year yet, but we’re going to make 2024 even better.

This is bullshit.

So how can you hold space for your actual feelings and experience this holiday season?

Start with VALIDATING THE FUCK OUT OF EVERYTHING.

How you feel is valid.

What you think is valid.

Yes of course there are a lot of reasons why you might want to work on having different thoughts and feelings.

But the starting point is to stop judging yourself.

I should be more positive. I should have done more to accomplish my goals this year. I should make REALLY BIG GOALS for next year to make up for my failures this year. I should be more forgiving.

This is what we do. And of course it’s what we do because we live in a culture that completely misunderstands how feelings work.

And then when we try to heal from the impacts of that, we end up in the new age/holistic wellness/live your best life world where the same values from our toxic dominant culture are twisted up, given some window dressing to make them look different, and pushed back on us.

But the answer and the way through are actually really simple.​

We have the answers inside us.

We can find them when we stop judging and suppressing our actual thoughts, feelings and experiences.

We need to BE WITH.

This is how we hold space for difficult feelings at the holidays.

It’s not any different from how we do it at any other time of the year! During the holidays everything is just MAGNIFIED. That’s what makes it feel harder.

This week I got an email from someone in the Dream Book membership about this.

MARVELLING at how SIMPLE it is, all the magic and healing that come from BEING WITH…. but then also marvelling at how DIFFICULT it is, in the moment, to actually BE WITH.

She was super grateful for all of the tools I offer inside Dream Book - all these different meditations and journaling prompts that all really do the same thing: help you be with, and process, your thoughts and feelings. (And if you want to do this work with me in the new year, you can join us here.)

Because once you’ve done that - you’re in your magic.

THAT MAGIC IS ALWAYS IN YOU.The answers, the power, the creativity, the motivation, the inspiration, that inner knowing that YOU GOT THIS.

We naturally get in touch with all of that when we BE WITH.

This is how we alchemize the hard stuff into FUEL for our dreams.

So, since the holidays can be hard, it means there can be more hard stuff to alchemize - which is SO HARD in the moment but then also SO GOOD afterwards.

I am living proof.

Almost 4 months into my separation from my husband, I’ve been feeling like I should feel worse than I do!

Yes there is sadness but most of the time these days I feel so happy and free. And like I still love him and still feel loved by him but the relationship has space to change and become something totally new. And I am finding that, of course, without my marriage there are still a SHIT TON of things to love about my life.

And yet this one part of me still judges my process. Feeling like I can’t possibly feel this happy after such a devastating loss.

So, the work of BEING WITH continues. Tending to the parts that are still sad. Tending to the parts that feel happy and free and want to explore new dreams. Tending to the parts that are like “whoa how am I handling this all so well?”.

When Thanksgiving felt SO HARD for me this year, I was really worried about Christmas. But now that it's almost here, I feel good. It will be a much quieter and simpler Christmas and that feels really right.

So. If the holidays feel hard for you this year - how can you BE WITH and TAKE CARE of yourself and all of the different feelings that get sparked?

Where can you disengage from what dominant culture is telling you to do, and engage more deeply with your actual needs?

Holding space for the hard during the holidays Read More »

Why you can’t separate money from creativity, spirituality and dreams

separatemoney

You use money every?day.

Money is real life. ?Grounded. Physical. Solid.

I mean, like real life it’s in a constant state of flux and can transform in any instant. ?But still you don’t get much real-er than cash. ?It has?universally-recognized value.

Just like if you’re walking through the park and you see a bench and you know that the bench is real, if you’ve got money in your pocket you know it’s real.

Which is?not always the case with?dreams, creativity and spirituality, which?tend to be more ethereal.

But having our dreams, creativity and spirituality be more real and grounded IS the dream.

Having a?spiritual practice that’s so solid it can hold you when things get hard.

Cultivating your creative gifts to the point where they can support you.

Turning?the dream into reality.

This is the point.

And money is one of the portals.

Money as a portal.

You have money in your life before the dream and you’ll have money in your life after the dream.

It may come from different sources. ?It may be flowed in different directions. ?But it’s still the same money.

So working with money now helps open it up and turn it into a portal that your dreams can come through.

Specifically – working with money as a part of your creative spiritual?practice.

You probably already know how you can combine your creative practice and your spiritual practice and how cool this can be.??(If you’re not sure what this means, I teach a simple creative spiritual practice for making dreams real in my free class Give Your Dream Wings)

Well imagine now bringing the magic of money into the mix.

Money takes all this stuff we dream about and makes it REAL.

So money tends to be scary because it’s so powerful.

If you had all the money you needed to make your dream real – then where would you hide?

Hiding inside of “I don’t have enough money” can feel like safety. ?Like it’s a giant relief that you won’t have to stretch and grow and be vulnerable and take risks to make your dream happen.

Because it’s so powerful we tend to make up all sorts of stories about it.

  • Figuring out how to have the money you need to do what you really want is just too hard (as though living with less is somehow easy?).
  • Wanting money means you sold out (as though there is something wrong with wanting to provide for yourself and your family).
  • Spiritual people don’t care about money (as though meditation will feed, clothe and shelter you).
  • Real artists don’t care about money (as though art supplies don’t cost money)
  • Happiness is more important that money (as though?you have to choose!)

These stories are bullshit but we do tend to live our lives by them.

Bringing the soul of money into your creative spiritual practice helps you see the bullshit more clearly, and then clear it away.

It doesn’t mean you become “money hungry” or anything like that, it means you see money as the powerful tool for creating your life that it is, and treat it accordingly.

It means seeing yourself as powerful enough to use this tool with creativity and soul and meaning.

Because yes, a lot of our money systems in this world are broken.

That doesn’t mean you can’t rise above them and use money in ways that nurture all the things that matter to you.

And I promise that doing this is closer than you think.

This is the work/play/healing we’ll be doing in the Creative With Money class, happening on April 21.

As a creative person – you can learn how to bring your creativity into how you manage your inner relationship with money.

And that will change everything.

Click here to read more and to join us.?

Why you can’t separate money from creativity, spirituality and dreams Read More »

When your inner critic just won’t let you move forward.

forward

I care about my Magic Journaling Cards very much.

So much that while I’m working on them it’s really hard for me to feel like I’m good enough to do them justice.

Even though I know that done is better than perfect.

Even though I know that these cards, with all of their glorious imperfections, are going to help people to enjoy journaling more and get more of the juicy benefits of journaling (like emotional healing and transformation and dream manifestation).

Even though I know that I have more than enough experience teaching this stuff to be able to design the cards in such a way that they are magically helpful.

None of that matters to my inner critic.

The more I care about something, the harder it is for me to create it.

The stakes feel too high.

I have so much love for the thing, and expect so much from it, it’s like I just can’t be happy with how it’s turning out, no matter how good a job I do.

When I feel this way it’s a sign that I have handed the steering wheel over to my inner critic.

And that in these moments my job is NOT to try harder, or get better or take a break.

My job is to take back the steering wheel.

So that’s what I’ve been doing for the past few days.

If I were to keep working on the cards, I’d be putting this weird fighting-the-inner-critic-trying-to-prove-my-worth energy into this project.? (And trust me – people CAN feel it when you’re creating from that place and it WILL impact the success of your project.)

So instead I’m meeting with my inner critic and with the heart and soul of the cards project.

I’m transforming the fear and doubt and filling up on the qualities of my project, so that they can light the path to fruition.

People are always asking me how to get around the inner critic.

They want to know how to out-run it – which is impossible.

But you can heal it.? And then you can transform it.? And then you can do your great work and bring your creative dreams to life.

And then you start again with the next thing.

In my opinion, getting good at the inner work is the only path to success.? That’s why it’s the thing that I teach – because I want all of us to succeed.

(So if you’re struggling with your inner critic – come and learn how to transform it!)

And today – I’m back.

The steering wheel is firmly in my grip.

My inner critic has been transformed into an ally – he’s busy creating an energy atmosphere of flow, delight and ease for me to work in.

So – I’m working.

In fact I’ve got over 33 of the cards done (I’m not sure how big the deck is going to be – I don’t want to pick an arbitrary number, I just want to make sure it includes everything that it needs to be a magically helpful deck).

And today I want to get a bunch more done…

When your inner critic just won’t let you move forward. Read More »

RADICAL healing and transformation

radical

Healing happens all the time. Every time you give space for your actual feelings or are honest with yourself about what you really want or make art or feel love you experience a taste of healing.

RADICAL healing and transformation speaks to working at a deeper level and reaping greater benefits – a healing so complete it transforms you and your whole world.

This is the realm of miracles, enhanced possibility and impossible dreams made manifest.

Because you truly are capable of anything, but you’re going to have to get out of your own way first.

The opposite of radical healing and transformation is spiritual by-pass.

Unfortunately, spiritual by-pass is often mistaken for radical healing and transformation, but it’s just a fancy and spiritual-sounding way of sabotaging your greatest potential.

It’s a really insidious way of sabotaging yourself because it keeps you in denial about what you’re doing which keeps you, and your whole life, in a holding pattern.

Spiritual by-pass means you are using spiritual concepts and ideas to by-pass your actual feelings and experience.? The problem is that you’re not usually aware that you’re doing this, you just think you’re “being spiritual” and “thinking positive”.

Being pulled out of spiritual by-pass is crazy uncomfortable because you are suddenly confronted with all this stuff that you’ve been in denial about, plus you’re confronted with how you’ve been lying to yourself about being in denial, which is embarrassing if you think of yourself as an awake and conscious human being.

It really sucks.? And it’s totally liberating.

Because once you see it you can do something about it.? Once you see it you can see all the ways that you have been in your own way, so you can get out of your way, and get to that place where there is no need to “think positive” because you’re too busy being in love with your life.

RADICAL healing and transformation.

Going in deeper.? Opening up wider.? Surrendering to the process and discovering inner gifts more amazing than you ever thought were possible for you to have.

There is no substitute for living from this place and until you get there your heart is always going to be longing for it.

Though you don’t “get there” of course.

The heart will always continue to lead you towards living on your own edge of RADICAL healing and transformation – just beyond what you think is possible.

Can you see how this transforms not only you – but your whole world?

I wish this for me and for you and for everyone.

But starting with me and you.

Starting with the people who are already connected to their creativity and spirituality.

Starting with the people who are already interested in exploring the fullness of their potential.

This is deep, big, hard work and it’s only for the people who are genuinely ready to dig in.? Starting with us, and digging in deep, we can create a whirlpool of healing and transformation that can eventually engulf the whole world.

This is what I am doing in 2015, in Grow Your Depth, Nurture Your Brilliance.


RADICAL healing and transformation Read More »

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