From my Year of Hope journal:

I am really confronting the ways I have become more distracted since 2020, giving myself a lot of grace and looking at where I can make different choices.

The Year of Hope classroom is here -  this is a no-pressure program! Dip in and out as you like, I am LOVING reading the comments, thoughts and ideas in there. Practicing hope in community really is magic!

 

Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

I am GRATEFUL and RELIEVED to have a stuck that feels straightforward and not in any way related to existential dread.

So let's go into the Un-Sticking station!

I’ve been trying to do a thing, a marketing task, and I’ve been putting it on my weekly list for a long time.

The last few weeks I’ve made real attempts to sit down and do it, and each time I do I feel SUPER UGHHHGH.

So, I wrote it onto my list for this week and said to myself “This is fine! Things take the time they take! You are not failing to get this done, you are being super brave and in the process of getting it done”

OK but I feel like I’ve failed.

That’s a valid feeling! What else are you feeling about it?

I feel like any reasonable person would have gotten this done by now.

So you feel unreasonable?

No, I don’t feel unreasonable exactly, I feel like I can’t be taken seriously as a business person if I can’t do this task.

That’s intense!!

Is it?

You do so many tasks! You’ve had a business that has supported you for 14+ years. You do your work in alignment with your values and needs. What else would you need to do to be taken seriously?

This task.

You really mean that? If you just do this one thing you could be taken seriously as a business person. And as a side question: Do you WANT to be taken seriously as a business person? That’s not something I’ve ever considered as a dream?

Oh shit. This is getting so tangled. Maybe this is an existential dread kind of stuck after all.

What feels tangled?

The fact that I can’t seem to do this particular task, which feel like such a BASIC thing a business needs to have.

So you feel like a failure for not having done it yet?

Yes.

And then that feeling like you’re a failure makes it really hard to do the task, right?

Yes! I can’t enjoy doing it because of this voice that says I should have done it months ago!

Oh sweetie, that sucks! Let’s invite that voice in maybe?

Yeah, ok.

Hello, voice that says I should have done this months ago and as a result I am a failure and that any attempt to do it now must be weighed down by the shame of failure.

(this voice is a tiny monster)

It’s interesting that you are such a typical “monster” but… so tiny! So, do you really feel like we need to be THIS weighed down by shame?

The tiny monster looks frightened, like he didn’t expect to be questioned.

I offer him a cookie and a hot chocolate. I am so tempted to call him a cookie monster but that doesn’t feel like the right move.

Listen, I genuinely want to understand why you are doing this, and how we might be able to work together because it seems like we all want to get this task done.

It’s embarrassing that we can’t done it and that we are going in circles like this, having imaginary conversations and eating imaginary cookies, instead of just getting it done!

Yeah, I get that. AND. Have you noticed how you impact me when you try to make me feel shame for not having done it yet? It makes me unable to do it at all. Like - you play a role in this inability to get this task done. And I think you are doing this because this task is NOT as simple as you want it to be. It’s vulnerable. And I wonder if you are afraid of the vulnerability of it.

The little monster puts his hands over his head to hide.

Yeah, listen little buddy, I don’t want to upset you. This IS vulnerable and vulnerability is scary and putting out work out into the world is NOT usually a simple task!

He peeks out…. You mean it’s ok that I feel tangled?

It’s not just ok it’s great! It means you’re human! And sensitive! These are good things!

You’re right, I just wanted to not feel how scary this feels.

Thank you for sharing that little guy! 

And now he’s a baby in a high chair having a snack and giggling.

This little monster was not the only thing making this hard!!! This has roots in a lot of places, like feeling enough and fear about financial security as the world falls apart and not wanting to be misunderstood and just all the ways that marketing our heart work gets tricky.

But, where am I now?

Can I do the task?

I have no idea! So let’s go try and report back….

[OK I just spent A WHOLE HOUR working on this… and I feel excited to keep going.]

 

Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:

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Structure is essential for our mental health and our ability to pursue our creative dreams.

Though most creative people, to some extent, resist structure and want creative freedom.

Then we get lost in that freedom.

I let go of a lot of my routines when I decided to prioritize art in my daily life a few weeks ago.

I wanted to MAKE SPACE to find out what I need for this new phase of life.

Some days I got lost in all of that space and it became a lot harder to stay positive.

Some days I learned something new about what I needed to that I wouldn’t have learned if I hadn’t had the space to get lost in.

Some days I got lost in the magic of making art, which is exactly what I was hoping for. But in all honestly that didn't happen nearly as much as I had hoped for.

Now I am NEED structure and routine.

My brain, in it’s current overwhelmed state, just cannot figure out how to plan a day, EVERY FUCKING DAY.

It’s like Steve Jobbs and his turtleneck and jeans. Not that I applaud sacrificing personal self expression for productivity!! But I love finding ways to have fewer decisions to make each day, to save my mental capacity for more interesting things.

What I want is more of those times when I can get lost in the magic of making art. But that's more complicated than it seems... all these pieces need to be in place for me to be in a space where that is possible.

If you are struggling to do the creative work you want to do - you probably need more, or different, structure and routines.

Structure should SUPPORT your creativity and your goals.

Routines should FEEL GOOD to be in and help you feel good outside of them too.

In times of stress your needs may change drastically! So it's good to check in with this often.

Some things that help, from the Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership:

Structure, Habit, Routines: journal prompts + 1 hour class replay for exploring structure, habits and routines

Focus Pocus: 21 day support system for getting focused

Creative Genius Planning Sessions: guided meditations + journaling prompts for planning your week from your most wise, brave + creative self

Dream Plan Kit: Prompts for creative planning + project management, printable weekly + monthly calendars, trackers, a class on planning + the Creative Genius Weekly Planning Kit.

Creating Creative Momentum: a practice meant to be used on a daily basis, whenever you want to generate some momentum towards your dream.

Journal Sheet for Taking Consistent Steps Towards Your Dream

Creating Self Care Protocols to support yourself in being the version of you who can do your dream: 1 hour 20 minute class replay with guided meditation and journaling prompts

Habits Upgrade: 1 hour 30 minute class replay for exploring and upgrading your habits

And you can use the forum to report your progress or ask for help!

 

Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

Every Monday in 2025 there will be a new journal prompt in the Year of Hope classroom in the Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership.

​Get this week's journal prompt here.​

I'd love to hear your thoughts! Leave them in the comments at the bottom of that page so we can discuss this as a group. The discussions already have been so good! Practicing hope in community is MAGIC.

 

I don't have a post ready for today, my vertigo has calmed down but I am still dizzy and the part of my brain that can put a post together is not quite online 🙂

But I wanted to share a question I wrote in my Dream Book a few weeks ago:

What if it is a part of my magic is to get flattened by the hard stuff, and spend time totally debilitated by fear? 

I mean - just the experience of being debilitated is magic. Not just the part where you heal and grow because you work through it, you know?

And then related, right now: what if being debilitated by vertigo and dizziness is a part of my magic and a part of my process? What if I accept that I am where I am, rather than focusing on getting myself to where I want to be?

Creative Dream Alchemy is the balance of meeting ourselves where we are and moving towards where we want to be.

What if the way I feel that "balance" is changing?

 

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As I re-structure my routines and systems, I am committing to a weekly meeting with the soul of the Creative Dream Incubator

(Using the Meeting The Soul Of Your Business meditation from the Creative Business Incubator course. (Which I have saved in my favourites to make it easier to find!) You could also do this with the meditation we use in the Marketing as a Creative + Spiritual Practice calls)

I am making space in my schedule and in a journal to go deep in the meditation and then take it deeper in journaling and art-making about it after.

I’ve worked through some big layers of FREAKING OUT ABOUT CHANGE and am feeling so grounded and sure about this decision now. 

I am shifting my self concept from “being a creative entrepreneur and running the Creative Dream Incubator” (which is obviously a VERY creative endeavour anyway!) to “artist”.

And I don’t mean I am focused on producing any particular creative project. I mean I want to be DEEP in my creative process and follow the process where it leads, instead of trying to lead it. So, I am NOT focused on the Outer Work of the art at all. (for now!)

AND Outer Work needs to be done! So as I am re-creating my routines, I am also looking at what kinds of structure and system I need to keep everything running smoothly. These weekly meetings are one of those things.

THIS IS SO HARD TO DESCRIBE!

But it feels similar to the de-clutter, re-organize and re-decorate project for 2025. I want to go through everything in my space, give away anything that doesn’t serve me now, re-think how and where I store things and what I want it all to look like - so that my home serves me in living my best life, where I am now AND supports my dreams by making it easier for me to do the things I want to do.

I am doing the same thing with my schedule, routines, and how I run my business.

 

 

Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:

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Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

I’m sharing this be cause I am noticing all the ways that I judge my dreams - or parts of them. This is too small. This is impossible. This is ridiculous.

What counts as a dream?

A few examples:

• Feeling more joyful in your daily life 
• Sleeping better and having all the gifts of feeling well rested 
• Making more art
• De-cluttering your home
• Finding ways to be the change you want to see in the world
• Writing a book that changes the world

Nothing is too big or too small.

When you have that “I WANT THIS” feeling - that’s a dream. That’s your own soul saying: this is the path. Go for it. As you walk down that path, more will be revealed.

YOU DESERVE TO PURSUE YOUR DREAMS.

Pursuing a dream is an alchemical process. Which means it will heal and grow you… so you don’t need to feel ready and you don’t need to feel capable because you will BECOME the version of you who can do this… by doing it.

It’s not that you have to do your best to make every dream happen or you are failing at life!

It’s just that you will be happier when you VALIDATE your dreams.

 

 

Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

My Big Dream is to BE the artist I know I AM

And I trust my art and I trust myself WHEN I AM MAKING ART REGULARLY. 

So it’s not about the art itself. It's about being in that process and how it changes my relationship with myself and my life.

People keep asking me “So what kind of art are you making? Where are you selling it?” and it’s not about that at all.

Right now I’ve just gathered up all of the unused and partly used sketchbooks I found when I started de-cluttering, and I am going to fill them up.

I just need surfaces to put stuff down on.

I need to be IN THE PRACTICE of making more art.

And then my art will show me what’s next.

I have lots of ideas for that but I don’t feel like I am at that part yet.

The world feels so unstable and I don’t know what to trust out there.

But I know that I trust this.

Dreams can be vague like this. They can be hard to explain to other people. They can just be about a feeling you have about your life.

 

 

Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

Every Monday in 2025 there will be a new journal prompt in the Year of Hope classroom in the Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership.

​Get this week's journal prompt here.​

I'd love to hear your thoughts! Leave them in the comments at the bottom of that page so we can discuss this as a group. The discussions already have been so good! Practicing hope in community is MAGIC.

 

I don’t want to do the year of hope today.

When I remember how I felt about this project before I started, how excited I was for this commitment to show up for hope and optimism and to make space for the process of holding onto hope…

That just feels very far away.

Now I feel a lot of heaviness and resistance and I just want to distract myself from how far away hope feels.

I don’t want to summon the inner strength to be my most alive and creative self. I want to rest.

And that seems legit, everyone is tired, rest is valid!

AND/BUT

There is something in there that doesn’t feel straightforward.

Like - why can’t I rest AND be my most alive and creative self? Like why would I even need to choose?

I DO NOT WANT TO BE MY DREAM SELF.

I WANT TO BE ALL CURLED UP IN A BALL.

I see a snail that’s tucked into its shell.

Hey snail. Do you need anything in there?

No. I never want to need a thing ever again.

OK wow that’s intense!

No it’s not. It’s cozy.

Well, everyone has needs.

It’s all too much.

Agreed! It really is.

I’m just too tired to even think about this.

Yeah, I get it.

So why are you pushing me?

Oh that’s a good question. I guess because I am afraid that if you just curl up in your shell and never leave or do anything - you are going to die.

You want me to live?

I want all of us to live. Like, really LIVE. To feel free and happy and at peace.

Oh, yeah I see how hiding in my shell in the dark forever doesn’t exactly feel happy.

And I see how forcing yourself out of your shell doesn’t feel happy either! So what can we do?

I could get behind a little picnic in the meadow.

A picnic in a meadow sounds great.

OK putting pressure on myself to feel alive and happy does make me want to just hide under the covers forever.

I didn’t want the Year of Hope to be pressure, I wanted it to be a safe space to explore.

And some days, exploring feels like pressure.

Maybe my internal sense of “what is pressure” vs “what is encouragement” is changing. That would make sense!

What is the “let’s have a picnic in a meadow” equivalent to journaling in my Year of Hope journal?

Painting. Collaging.

Doing it laying on the floor. Or in bed. (Well, using paint pens in bed would work) With a cup of tea and a cookie.

OK yeah I can fill pages with colour. Listen to nice music. Be in the VIBE of Year of Hope without doing any parts that feel hard.

Show up for practicing hope WHILE ALSO meeting myself where I am.

 

Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:

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Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

This is a part of a lot of the Creative Dream Alchemy meditations I share in the Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership. We work on connecting with this part of us, and making decision from this part of us.

I believe this is true. I can’t always FEEL IT, but I always do believe that this part of me exists, in there somewhere.

Some of our members don’t believe that they have a part of them that ALWAYS believes (which is valid!!) and we’ve had interesting conversations about that.

Lately I notice that when I am in touch with this part of me, I really feel unstoppable. Like the magic is really potent right now.

But the times when I am not in touch with this part of me, it feels so far away that it may as well not exist. Like the despair is potent too.

I think this is well summed up in the video I shared yesterday. Your dreams are more important than ever. And working with them is harder than ever.

So what does this mean for your practice? How does this impact how you show up for your dreams?

 

Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:

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This is something I have been giving a lot of thought to.

 

Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:

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Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

 

I was taking a bath and I "saw" this journal page in my mind and got out and made it.

It feels SO satisfying to see it outside of me.

The little bits of blue and pink that got mixed in with the white - I have no idea what that means but it feels so RIGHT to see it that way, and then put it on the page that way.

Not that it offers any answers.

But one of the things that I have found is more helpful as a coach is to encourage people to make more space for their questions. Get in there, sit with it, make it a cup of tea and really spend some time with it.

We all have a lot to hold right now! And we have more options than we think about HOW we choose to hold it all.

At first, we don't think we have a choice.

We do. But we usually have to sit with our feelings before we can find that place where we can choose how to respond.

And one thing that does come to mind is that Dream Book is a really good way of holding complex and multi-faceted processes, and doing a Dream Book for "surviving these times" could be very helpful!

I wrote this post before Trump started at trade war with Canada. I am Canadian and I've had a LOT of feelings since then and have been exploring this all a lot more deeply. And I'm still giving myself grace and space to be in the mess of it all.

 

Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

Every Monday in 2025 there will be a new journal prompt in the Year of Hope classroom in the Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership.

​Get this week's journal prompt here.​

I'd love to hear your thoughts! Leave them in the comments at the bottom of that page so we can discuss this as a group. The discussions already have been so good! Practicing hope in community is MAGIC.

The news hurts my head.

The answer isn’t to stop reading all news. Though part of the answer is to find the right balance between being informed and losing my mind by keeping up with everything that is happening. We all know that the shock and awe is happening on purpose, in order to impact us exactly how it’s impacting us.

So what do we do?

I am making art. Feeling my feelings.  Meditating. Practicing the best self care I can.

Looking for places where I can make a difference.

I am deep in the Year of Hope project. And one thing I find hopeful today is the growing movements in Canada to stop the far-right from taking over our country at the next election this year. I’ve never seen this much grassroots political engagement ahead of an election and that is hopeful.

And I am really trying to validate my feelings without getting stuck in them. Another balancing act.

But mostly - I think I need to accept that I am where I am. As a sensitive person, I am struggling with it all. So I need to validate the struggle.

I have/had SO MUCH RESISTANCE TO THIS but when I can do it, everything feels easier.

It's another "new normal" to adjust to. And we're going to adjust. And we're going to respond. (I know loads of people are already responding). And we're going to create a better world for everyone. This is not the end.

When I drew that picture about my head hurting - that made it feel better.

Expressing feelings helps process them and makes more space to see them.

And I want to point out that a three year old could have drawn this. It's not about "making Art".

I think drawing your feelings is MORE effective when the drawings don't look anything like "real Art".

 

Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

From my my creative practice this morning:

Feeling your feelings is an alchemical process. Let it change you.

I wasn't having a lot of feelings at the time, it just came to mind.

And being in the magic of making, it felt so right to write it out...

And then later in the day when I had uncomfortable feelings, I hated this advice. I felt kind of betrayed that this was what I had created today, lol.

It's come up on our last few group calls that a lot of us are feeling... off.

Are we sick? Stressed? Overwhelmed? It's hard to know.

I'm limiting my news like never before, and even still the little bits that get to me have me in tears some days.

And as much as I hate it, and as much as none of us know how to navigate these times...  I do know for sure is that NOT feeling our feelings doesn't lead anywhere good.

The process of divorce has shown me more than anything else ever has, the alchemical power of feeling our feelings.

And when I use the word alchemy, I ALWAYS mean that the process of transformation brings us closer to ourselves. It's not some random thing.

So I am trying to trust that this isn't different - in that regard. The feelings are uncomfortable, the situation is unwelcome... and this is my life. And all life is sacred. So I will feel it and be with it and keep figuring out how to show up for what feels true to me.

 

Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

So, continued from yesterday about making space for my new dream... I had my plants on the mural primed and was wondering… what am I going to paint here?

Then I remember, oh yeah, one reason why I hadn’t done this yet is… have you seen the price of paint? All of the "how much money do I get to spend on my joy" stories swirled around.

And I say to myself… well, I want to do it so I am doing it. I am making a commitment to following my creative practice where it goes. I am buying art supplies as needed. That’s just a part of this.

I have this problem that didn’t seem connected to this.

My bedroom closet is so cluttered! Like, I don’t even have that many clothes, what is even going on in there? That's a part of what I want to de-clutter and re-organize this year, but so far I had avoided looking more deeply at what was in there. And then I just happened to look closer and...

It turns out that TWO BOXES OF PAINTS is what is going on in there, lol!!!!

Which I had put into the closet because I wasn’t sure if I was finished the mural I had been painting up there and just wanted them out of sight. And I guess.. out of sight out of mind because I thought I had NO paint to start from. Turns out I do have wall paint - in all of the colours I like 

It feels like following our creative dreams wherever they go, not letting the inner voices stop us and getting creative about getting around the outer obstacles…. solves problems and creates new possibilities that WE CANNOT SEE in advance.

I just love this.

A practice is an ALCHEMICAL CONTAINER.

The work is just to stay in it, and keep listening and following it. I think when we want it to look a certain way or create a certain outcome, we can thwart the magic and power of it.

I flipping LOVE my new wall.

It feels like a "dreamscape" and sitting at my desk feels more magical and creative.

I did MAKE SPACE for new dreams to emerge here.

And it freed up some energy and I did get a good start on organizing art and office supplies.

 

Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

There is a program within the Dream Book program called SPACE-MAKING. It’s for when dream work is too overwhelming, it's a way to make space to even begin to dream.

And sometimes we shift back and forth between dreaming and space making. I think of that as a part of the practice of creative dreaming.

There’s also the physical space making, which we also need to do regularly.

So often, when I am coaching someone through a gnarly part of the creative process, the next step is to re-organize the art studio to MAKE SPACE to do the new work.

The part of the loft that is my workspace now, used to be our bedroom when I was married, and I had painted a mural in there for my husband, with tropical plants, which he loved. I wouldn’t have chosen tropical plants for myself and every time I look at it I remember that I made it for this man who I am no longer married to.

It’s this symbol of “I really tied to make that work” and for a while that made me so angry, because he didn’t try the way I thought he should. And then I came to understand that he did try really, in his way, which is different from mine. And then I came to appreciate the ways I try, how I do give things MY ALL, and how I appreciate that about me EVEN THOUGH it doesn’t mean I will always definitely get the outcome I want. 

There is a “if you work hard enough you will succeed” story running through me, coming from past generations, and I am working on dismantling it while also appreciating the gifts of it. Hard work HAS brought me a lot of good, it just doesn’t come with any guarantees and sometimes that can break your heart.

Anyway, painting over the mural while I was still in process with all of my layers of feelings about it felt so overwhelming. Now that I mostly feel acceptance, it’s a fun project that’s not about erasing the past or fixing a mistake or sticking it to my ex, it’s about creating space for my new dreams.

The plants in the mural were outlined in black paint, so I am starting with a few coats of primer over the outlines and some parts of the plants, I’m not trying to block ALL of it from being seen, I think it will make a cool base layer for a new mural, as long as those black lines are lightened enough to not be distracting.

 

Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.