daily practice

You can fail, financially, with your dreams and still be a success.

I know we all know this.

And I know we ALSO can feel like… but if a thing is REALLY GOOD it will find its audience, it will find commercial success.

Our culture tells us that the people who have really big financial success are actually more gifted than those who don’t have it.

It’s called meritocracy. It’s a way of justifying the huge gaps between the ultra rich and everyone else. It’s a way of keeping us obedient to capitalist values.

The truth is, we’re all gifted. We’re all unique. And one person having more commercial success than another person does not make them more gifted. It makes them more celebrated by capitalism.

And people use that “celebrated by capitalism” as evidence of being exceptionally gifted.

It happens ALL THE TIME in the life coaching and wellness industries. You think the people who are the most famous and make the most money are the best healers. 

They’re not.

And that’s a fucked up measurement system. Especially when you’ve been in this business long enough to know what happens behind the scenes of those businesses that make all that money.

We need to find all the places, in us, where we allow money to determine worth, and clear them.

We need to root more deeply into our own values, and not the capitalist values that the world wants us to live by.

And the next time you see someone telling you their huge income as a way of saying that their work and ideas are more valuable than everyone else’s, you need to think about not listening to them. We don’t have to keep holding this system up.

And when you stop believing that “because so and so makes money money it means they are better” then you can stop believe that you are not good enough. 

How celebrated by capitalism your work is is NOT an accurate measurement of how valuable and needed your work is.

Capitalism allows millions of people to starve while a few use billions of dollars to blast themselves off into space. It’s a fucked up system. I know we all need money, but is being celebrated by this fucked up system really a good goal to aim for?

This post is inspired by the inner work I’ve been doing for the last year - starting with the Slow the fuck down! BE as powerful, creative + magnetic as you are class. And then using the Un-Sticking Station process on ALL of the different thoughts and feelings that were unearthed in that class. It’s been a long journey but I love how clear I feel right now, that I have unearthed big chunks of these things from my inner world.

Come dream with us
Dream Book members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls.

Note: This is a post about my daily practice with my Creative Dreams - in these posts I often link to the tools, courses and processes I use which are only available to Dream Book members. If you're not a member, find out more + join us here.

You can fail, financially, with your dreams and still be a success. Read More »

Getting next-level advice from the soul of my project

(The project is to create journals/guides/workbooks out of all of the classes I’ve made. Like an entire library of journals for creative dreamers.)

This is a huge project, and I feel huge excitement about it. AND it’s a huge project and there are a million different ways to start so where do I want to start?

So I need a meeting with the project, to work out a plan.

(Using the Dream Lab meditation to call in the soul of the project)

The project appears as… well a whole library of journals for creative dreamers. The completed project, with light radiating out from it.

So, hey! Thanks for meeting me. I feel a bit… overwhelmed I guess. Disorganized?

I love what you’re doing!

Thank you!

I see how dedicated you are. I see how you love the project. I see the care you are taking with every detail.

I’m beaming. It’s so nice to be seen and appreciated.

One note though: you can’t take THAT MUCH care with EVERY SINGLE detail, if we want to finish this project in your lifetime.

Well, yeah, I was thinking that.

Some of that is over-thinking coming out of self doubt and if you could work on clearing that energy more quickly you could be more in the flow. And I want to stress that there isn’t anything WRONG with the amount of attention you pay to these things, you are so thoughtful about it and that’s great, it’s just that you are going way beyond what is necessary to serve the purpose of the project. Remember to trust the magic of the project itself, and trust the magic of the people using the journals. These journals are containers, and the people who work with them will use the containers to create their own magic. You don’t have to get into the details like that.

I absolutely understand what you mean. I can zoom out like three layers, at least.

Yes, exactly.

OK that feels so helpful. The other thing is - well where do I even start? What I am doing now is working with what I have, and giving myself all this “free space” to explore, ideate, let the ideas evolve… this is so important for the creative process but I feel like I also need more structure.

I think you’re right on both counts, the way you started this project giving yourself all this space was genius. And yes, you need more structure now to let these things take form. Also, I’m not sure you are seeing this, but I think you are working on multiple books at once. I think you are trying to get one book finished, but I think you’ll end up finishing multiple books at once, or close to each other.

So, do you think that I still don’t have a handle on the specific topics of the different books? That that will continue to change as I work on this?

Right.

(The soul of the project is no longer the books themselves, it’s this woman who seems like she’s wearing a toga, older and wise and glowing)

(Then I realize that by “older” I might mean the same age as me, lol)

Would it be helpful for me to work on a list of the different books? Like try to map out what this will look like?

You have done this so many times. You have lists in every list app you have. And in your project management app. And in multiple journals. I don’t say this to shame you, I say this to remind you that you’ve been exploring this for a long time, and that it’s FABULOUS that you are letting your explorations meander rather than trying to force them into some kind of deadline. Do YOU think it would be helpful to make another list at this time?

Well, I guess I like my lists! It feels soothing. But really, I was thinking that this list would be the structure we were talking about that I need now. Do you know of a different way to bring some structure in?

She just smiles at me and leans forward. I feel like she DOES have an idea that I can’t see, but I can’t hear her on this.

Oh, then this idea flies in - not to make another list but to create a folder for each of these books in my drawing app. Give them a place for my ideas to land.

She smiles. Well yes that would be the way to really SEE what you have for each one. And that can teach you more - like HOW you see the books now could change. Maybe what you think of as 3 different books is actually 1. Or what you see as 1 is actually 3. You don’t know this until you really see it, and the lists of ideas aren’t helping you with that part.

So I can take my list of ideas, and create folders from that list, and then in my “free creative/exploration time” I have all of this to draw from. This means I have structure AND freedom.

Ah hah! See that?!

She’s pointing to the little spark of self doubt that just popped up.

Yeah.

Yeah, that’s a huge part of the work. You DO need to step up into your next-level self to do this project. And doing all of this creative work WITHOUT the structure is a way of NOT stepping up. Creating these folders, giving things more form and detail, requires you to work through the self doubt and get aligned with your next level self, the version of you who is at the next level with this project. The version of you who starts to complete and share these books is even more aligned - you don’t have to go all the way there right now. Just be on that journey. Be doing the Dream Self exercises often. Create a page in your Dream Book just for your Dream Self who is doing these books.

Oh that’s another great form of structure!

Yup! OK do those two things, and keep going. You are doing AMAZING and I am so proud of you!!

I am beaming.

Come dream with us
Dream Book members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls.

Note: This is a post about my daily practice with my Creative Dreams - in these posts I often link to the tools, courses and processes I use which are only available to Dream Book members. If you're not a member, find out more + join us here.

Getting next-level advice from the soul of my project Read More »

Getting stuck + feeling like a failure

Two weeks ago at the New Moon Intention-Setting call I had this burst of clarity about what to focus on for this month.

It felt powerful and magical and inspiring.

But two weeks later, it feels impossible. It’s depressing, how far away it feels. It’s activating all of my self doubt.

I woke up feeling like a failure, with this inner voice insisting that I will never be successful.

And I was like “Wow, this is interesting. Why don’t you think I am already successful?”

The voice was stumped for a minute and then said “Because if you are successful then you save money every single month with never any exceptions.”

I was like “That’s a really interesting definition of success! Like, do you understand that sometimes there are unexpected bills or any number of reasons why you might dig into savings?”

But beyond that - what a weird way to define success. It’s fascinating that there is a part of me who feels this way!

And then I realize - I actually DO save money every month, there’s an automatic transfer to my retirement savings.

But this little voice is like “No, I mean more than that” but already the voice is getting quieter because it is realizing that constantly increasing your wealth with no exceptions is really more a sign of hoarding and greed than it is a sign of success.

I sit down beside the little voice, who seems to be sitting in the grass outside somewhere.

“I think you’re worried about that big expense, hey?”

“Yeah, it was big!”

“It was big! But we had the money to handle it. We’re actually good at saving and planning! Money isn’t how I define success, but it is a tool I use and I do know how to use it.”

“But also all of the expenses are going up. It’s so stressful! Like, when will it stop?”

“Yeah it IS stressful and your feelings, all of them, are absolutely valid, especially as reactions to all of this scary stuff that is out of our control… but one thing that IS in our control is how we see ourself. I think we deserve to FEEL successful.”

This little voice beams. It started out so mean and harsh with ME but then it turns out that it was the one feeling like a failure and was projecting it at me.

I give it a hug.

“Sweetheart, we have a beautiful life and we deserve this, just like everyone does.”

And now I feel settled.

So, bringing my attention back to that intention. It’s hard to hold it because it’s a shift in energy, focus, intention and self-belief.

It is THE shift in energy, focus, intention and self-belief that I need right now.

And it is FINE if I slip and fall along the way. It’s expected actually. THIS IS A PRACTICE NOT A PERFECT. Setting an intention like this calls in all the reasons why this is hard. These are the things I need to work through.

And I know that to hold this intention more firmly, I need to do the inner work more consistently. This little nagging discomfort had been growing all weekend and I was ignoring it, it wasn’t until this morning when it’s like RIGHT IN MY WAY and stopping me from doing anything that I faced it.

It would be easier to get to where I want to be if I would face the little uncomfortable feelings faster.

Come dream with us
Dream Book members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls.

Note: This is a post about my daily practice with my Creative Dreams - in these posts I often link to the tools, courses and processes I use which are only available to Dream Book members. If you're not a member, find out more + join us here.

Getting stuck + feeling like a failure Read More »

Obstacle Release Ceremony: Meditation + Journaling Class

Every dream comes with obstacles. Really! If your dream didn't have obstacles it wouldn't really be a DREAM.

There are a lot of different ways to work with obstacles, this Obstacle Release Ceremony is a the way to work obstacles when you're just ready to let them go.

We originally did this on the full moon, which is a fantastic time for an obstacle release ceremony, but the best time to do this work is when you feel like you want to release your obstacle!

(This is from a series of live, free calls I did in the summer and fall of 2023 called Co-Dreaming)

Obstacle Release Ceremony: Meditation + Journaling Class Read More »

Finding my way through

Yesterday I realised why I am getting stuck so much right now. During our full moon intention setting call, I set a really clear and bold intention. Or, it felt bold to me but during that meditation I felt so connected to intuition and so clear and sure that this is what came out.

It’s easy-ish to feel that clear and sure during those kinds of meditations.

It’s much less easy to HOLD that clarity and certainty throughout the rest of the month.

One reason for this is that having a clear intention to shift something will bring up all the places in you that need healing, attention or transformation in order for you to be able to make that shift.

So that’s why I’ve been getting stuck so much. I called this in because my wisest self said I was ready.

The rest of me is not so sure.

And here we are, battling it out.

So, how can I help my wisest self win?

So far I’ve got: my laziest self, my most scared self, my most exhausted self and my most filled with self doubt self arguing that we should really slow this whole thing down.

So how about calling in: my most creative self, my most enthusiastic self, my most joyful self, my most filled-her-well-with-exquisite-self-care self, and my most trusting self? What would they say?

I imagine this group gathering together and coming up with a plan to take over.

And this is what they say:

Make a list of the things that other group wants to do - like playing dumb games on your phone, scrolling social media, staying in instead of going for a bike ride in the morning, etc.

AND THEN DON’T DO THOSE THINGS. Notice when you’re doing them, which is easier to do when you are paying attention to your ENERGY. Your energy tanks when you do these things. It doesn’t meant you can’t goof off or rest, it means be more intentional about what actually refuels you and makes you feel good and what’s just… checking out.

Also let’s note that acting out of fears, etc is not the same as tending to fears, etc. Spending time really BEING WITH these parts of you are always ok! Journal and meditate and lay on the floor and just feel your feelings. That’s all good! All parts of you are part of you, it’s just that you have to be more intentional about who’s leader.

And then have really solid patterns about Dream Work practices. You need to get more intentional about this. I know you’re already doing it! DO IT HARDER. You know exactly what I mean.

OK yeah I know exactly what they mean.

It feels like I am crawling out of the pit of the last few years and most (?) (some?) of the time I am doing fine and then sometimes I slide back in. Sometimes overwhelm just takes over.

And so I see it - it’s fine for the FEELING of overwhelm to take over. I just have to keep my more wise, creative and brave parts of me IN THE LEAD, in terms of choosing what to do with the overwhelm.

I just felt this wave of trust and congruence go through me.

It’s like - I have been teaching this for how many years???! And yet I still need to keep practicing. It IS like yoga, you don’t stretch your legs once and you’re done for the rest of your life. No matter how good you are at it, you’ve got to keep practicing.

So, trying to have some patience with myself and my process today.

(And, for accountability sake, yesterday I shared that I was STILL NOT working on that Dream Book Projects Page even though that was the intuitive nudge I kept getting. Well yesterday I did work on it! And that really did help me with clarity.)

Come dream with us
Dream Book members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls.

Note: This is a post about my daily practice with my Creative Dreams - in these posts I often link to the tools, courses and processes I use which are only available to Dream Book members. If you're not a member, find out more + join us here.

Finding my way through Read More »

IT FEELS TERRIFYING TO PUT NEW WORK OUT INTO THE WORLD AS IT IS RIGHT NOW.

For context: the spot I shared yesterday I wrote last week. In the end, my practice encouraged me to pick a project and STICK WITH IT, finish it. I picked a project and have been really enjoying it.

BUT I will out myself here: at the end of that post I wrote that I knew I had to make a new Dream Book Projects Page and I didn't actually do that. I keep skipping out on some of these things, because I think "I've done this already" but the point is to KEEP DOING IT which is what a practice is.

++++

So I've been in a creative flow, and have really been enjoying the process....

Until now.

In a meditation I suddenly saw it - basically started over with a new thing... and I keep doing this. Starting over with a new thing when the thing gets hard.

BECAUSE (and I just realized this) IT FEELS TERRIFYING TO PUT NEW WORK OUT INTO THE WORLD AS IT IS RIGHT NOW.

So I'm just sitting with the terror of it.

Last week we did a Zoom on Sitting With Uncomfortable Feelings where we did just that - hold space for our own feelings without trying to change them. Just giving them space to express, which was brutal but then also led to some really good stuff. (And I am so glad to have that replay available for those moments when you really need it, that you don't have to sit with those feelings on your own)

Right now, this terror is:

A headache behind my eyes
Tension in my shoulders and the base of my neck
An increasing sense of frustration
A wish that I could stop feeling any of this
Swirls of helplessness swirling in my head
That feeling like I want to cry, but I can't

And then a "OK seriously though you're being too dramatic just stop this, turn your feelings off"

The more I pay attention to my uncomfortable feelings, the more uncomfortable feelings I seem to have but I know this won't continue like this forever.

I set up some pillows and lay on the floor.

Sadness settles in my heart and belly.
A bit of a sharp pain behind my right eye.

My arms are buzzing with frustration.

But slowly, it all fades and, without trying to, I start to notice the part of me that trusts my work and understands that this work won't save/change the world but it can be a good thing to add to it.

And that feels like enough for today.

Come dream with us
Dream Book members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls.

Note: This is a post about my daily practice with my Creative Dreams - in these posts I often link to the tools, courses and processes I use which are only available to Dream Book members. If you're not a member, find out more + join us here.

IT FEELS TERRIFYING TO PUT NEW WORK OUT INTO THE WORLD AS IT IS RIGHT NOW. Read More »

Exploring my stuck + the healing power of RAGE

Last week I spent so much time in the Un-Sticking Station.

I wanted to share this one experience which is so interesting to me now, that I am through it:

My stuck is this slithering kind of of being slithering around in me. It’s filled with grief, sadness, fear, little sparks of rage.

Oh! This brings to mind my situation with the condo board. I have been trying to “not let it get to me” and “just take care of things like a grown up” but I feel so much rage. And so much frustration that the person responsible will never be held accountable.

Also: I try so hard to do the right thing all the time while this person can just so blatantly be so selfish and greedy and there is no way to hold them accountable. WTF?

Back in my meditation, this slithering being has more rage sparks in her belly and I decide to light a match and throw it in.

Pouf!

Let’s absolutely BURN with rage!

The slithering being is almost dancing. Happy to be expressing.

And it says: “Listen, I don’t want to be held back by self doubt anymore. I mean, in this world? Where people can lie and steal and take advantage and face no consequences?n When all I want to do is share my creative work in the hopes of helping people? Why should I hold back? This is so ridiculous. Please Andrea, let this all burn up in this fire”

The dancing becomes more joyful and fast.

……

I don’t know if this feels complete but I feel ready to move on for now.

......

A few hours later something new occurs to me: I am juggling too many projects/project ideas and in the judging there is too much room for self doubt to weasel in.

So: Get more focused. Use the Projects page! And the new project prompts from the Dream Plan Kit for processing ideas to decide THE ONE you're going to focus on. Put the others into "potential projects" and just COMMIT TO ONE THING and get it done.

 

Come dream with us
Dream Book members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls.

Note: This is a post about my daily practice with my Creative Dreams - in these posts I often link to the tools, courses and processes I use which are only available to Dream Book members. If you're not a member, find out more + join us here.

Exploring my stuck + the healing power of RAGE Read More »

Co-Dreaming Call 2: Meeting the soul of your dream

We had a fantastic call today!

I'm feeling all the things - healing, magic, inspiration and "let's get out there and make it happen" magic.

Thanks so much to everyone who was there live to help me create such a great recording, and replay people -send me your questions for the next call!

(If you don't see the video here, watch it on You Tube)

Watching these videos all summer WILL get you seeing, and feeling, your dreams in new ways.

I'll be doing this every Monday until Aug 28.

The replays will all be on my blog. If you want to attend live, register here to get the Zoom details.

Co-Dreaming Call 2: Meeting the soul of your dream Read More »

And then ALL the fears and doubts come out to play

Yesterday I had that gorgeous magical morning where everything came together. I really got INTO my creative flow and got so much done and felt so good!

Today is the exact opposite.

During our New Moon Intention Setting call last week, I was feeling the magic of our alchemy meditation and my inner wisdom came in with this new advice about holding a bigger dream MORE FIRMLY this morning. Like really BEING ALL ABOUT IT.

This felt so good and expansive and like "YEAH I AM READY!"

It can be easy to feel that way during our group calls - I mean that's why I do them!

But then, as you work out what actually needs doing in order to BE ALL ABOUT IT, the shitty little voices start to speak up.

Because yesterday I worked on getting REALLY SPECIFIC about the Inner Work that I need to do, it's like I opened the door to those shitty little voices.

 

This will never work.

You are just not good enough.

No one cares.

This idea is so stupid why did you think you could do it?

OMG this is so COMPLICATED and HARD and I just don't want to!!

 

And then something stressful happened with my condo board and it was like my feelings were already at 100% full capacity but they just kept on coming.

Side note: we are doing the Sitting With Uncomfortable Feelings call this Friday! 

So, I had a lot of uncomfortable feelings to sit with in preparation for Friday, lol.

This is how it works.

When we get that real DETERMINATION to move forward with something often all of our inner stuff gets activated.

Your Creative Dream Practice needs to be able to hold space for this. To not brush it aside and also to not let it take over and make your plans smaller.

The voice/feeling that is most activated for me right now is: this will never work. It comes with a sense of hopelessness with rivers of anger and frustration flowing through it.

For my practice today I'm sitting with it, using the Un-Sticking Station practice and also doing a drawing of this part of me. I mean drawing like a 5 year old to EXPRESS MYSELF (which is so healing!) not trying to "make a pretty picture" (which is great, but it's not inner work).

Come dream with us
Dream Book members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls.

Note: This is a post about my daily practice with my Creative Dreams - in these posts I often link to the tools, courses and processes I use which are only available to Dream Book members. If you're not a member, find out more + join us here.

And then ALL the fears and doubts come out to play Read More »

I am having a downright MAGICAL morning

Let's talk about how hard it is to get into good routines sometimes, and how much they help!

Before the pandemic, I had SUCH sturdy routines. I had spent years fine-tuning what, exactly, I need to feel inspired, creative, motivated and productive. I could reliably and consistently (I mean not EVERY day but much more often than not) get myself into my creative flow with my morning routines.

Then that all came crashing down in March 2020.

And re-building has been.... interesting.

But this morning here we are:

I’m having such a magical morning!

It is STUPID HOT like I wasn’t sure I wanted to go for a bike ride at all, and I definitely didn’t want to go journal in the park (as is my routine lately) because it’s already too hot and humid at 7 am. Plus super windy.

I did want to leave the house though, I knew it would be the best thing for my mood and energy and creativity. Get a coffee, put on noise canceling headphones, do some journaling. Key parts of my morning routine.

But I don't have a consistent "summer coffee shop" right now and every single coffee shop I could think of felt like UGH NO for one reason or another. (My consistent winter coffee shop has a bakery with a wood-fired oven and it's heavenly all winter! Sunny windows, loads of plants and the heat from the oven creates such a beautiful atmosphere. But in the summer it's just too hot for me. These details matter, my creativity doesn't function in the heat.)

Then I remembered a Starbucks that’s a 10 min bike ride away closed in the pandemic and a new place opened. 

I always feel like - you never know what you’re getting with a new place. Will the vibes be off? It’s funny but also it’s real, like I need to FEEL RIGHT in a place to do my journaling. And how can I know how I will feel if I've never been there? So I took a change.

And OMG this is my new coffee shop!

They have EVERYTHING BAGEL flavoured croissants! I had a filling smoothie and wasn’t hungry but just so happy to know this exists here, lol.

Then I noticed - they have lavender syrup for coffee! Heaven!

I got an iced coffee and sat down at the bar, the chair and bar are the exact right height to be comfy for journaling. And the air conditioning is working well on this hot day.

A woman came over to me to compliment my shoes "These are the best Crocs I've ever seen!" (I got these zebra with leopard heel strap Crocs this spring and I am just loving them, so that was nice!)

It just feels so good. It’s like it’s easier to tap into my Dream Self here. 

On our new moon intention-setting call last week I didn’t get time to list the dream work, inner work and outer work practices that will help with my intention this month, so I made lists of those.

It feels so supportive to have that list of specific things that will help me most right now.

Everything feels flowy.

This is what a good morning routine does.

I don't wake up feeling clear-headed enough to just do the things that I want to do. Even after my first-thing-in-the-morning meditation!

Through experimenting I learned that I do need to get out of the house (and in the pandemic lockdowns I really learned how depressing it can get to never do that!) and having my clothes ready and bag packed and location chosen all makes it easier to do that.

If I get up and then have to decide on clothing and what to bring (I do have a lot of journals I am working in in any given moment) and where I am going I can start to risk not doing anything. And I know that staying home, without at least a walk or bike ride, will mean a lower energy and lower mood day, all day.

When I get it all right - like a meditation and then a beautiful bike ride or a walk with just the right music, and then a great shady picnic table in a park or the right kind of feel-good coffee shop for journaling, then it's like I open the doors to my creative flow.

After journaling I feel clear headed enough to get to work. Then on the bike ride or walk home I get my brain focused on what I want to do that day.

Then it's creative flow time.

This is just what works for me, as I said - discovered through much trial and error. But notice how it includes THINGS I LOVE! Meditation, bike rides through parks with beautiful gardens, coffee shops I enjoy, great snacks.

And it includes the things I NEED - I didn't mention these above, but I make a smoothie with loads of protein, fibre and greens. I take supplements for peri-menopause and my post-concussion syndrome, all things I have experimented with to find what works best for me. I have routines around the tasks that must be done in my business.

All the "must do" stuff combined with the "love to do" stuff keeps me engaged.

Come dream with us
Dream Book members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts (what are your morning routines like?) or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls.

Note: This is a post about my daily practice with my Creative Dreams - in these posts I often link to the tools, courses and processes I use which are only available to Dream Book members. If you're not a member, find out more + join us here.

I am having a downright MAGICAL morning Read More »

My “Slow the fuck down” mug broke :(

On the new moon, my husband broke my “Slow the fuck down! BE as powerful, creative + magnetic as you are” mug.

Of course he didn't mean to, I had left it on a dresser and he bumped against it as he walked by. I was already having a frustrating day. And a few hours before I had thought to myself - maybe I should lay down on the floor (I’ve got pillows there, it’s very comfy) and cry. Just release some of this. But then I had decided to just go on with my day…

When the mug broke, I lay down on the floor to cry.

Bear came over, I pulled him in for a hug and he let me bury my face in his silky soft belly while Joseph got out the vacuum and cleaned up the mug shards.

That mug was precious because it was a message from my dream.

It was a message my dream sent repeatedly last summer. It felt so important: Slow the fuck down! BE as powerful, creative and magnetic as you ARE (which is what is written on the other side of the mug)

It was a message full of medicine.

I worked with it on my own. We had three group calls about it in Dream Book. I made the mugs. It was this whole thing… (Dream Book members - those calls are here)

But as I cried it out I realized - maybe it’s done. Maybe the lesson is learned. Maybe it’s time to put it down.

I mean, interestedly, it was just in the last few days that I was speeding back up again. Not to speedy speeds, but finding a pace that feels like progress, it feels interesting and creative without feeling overwhelming or exhausting.

And I do feel all of the gifts of Slow the fuck down! BE we powerful, creative and magnetic as you ARE helped me find this pace.

So, I am going to take this as a sign that this lesson is learned. I can enjoy my new pace now.

AND this feels connected to another question that has been coming to me in my practice... who is my post-pandemic self?

So far I know that my ideal post Pandemic self has processed the upheaval, lessons and grief of the last three years and is using it all to choose WHO and HOW to be next.

She's no longer IN the turmoil and overwhelm of it all. She's on the other side of all of that, with the lessons learned and integrated.

I mean maybe I will spend the rest of my life learning how to be this post-pandemic self. I don't know.

I just know that right now, in my practice, this is the version of me who feels more present, like the part of me I want to lean into next.

So, I am going to make a page about her in my Dream Book - using the Dream Self practice.

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Note: This is a post about my daily practice with my Creative Dreams - in these posts I often link to the tools, courses and processes I use which are only available to Dream Book members. If you're not a member, find out more + join us here.

My “Slow the fuck down” mug broke :( Read More »

Co-Dreaming Call 1: Introduction to Creative Dreaming As A Practice

We had our first Co-Dreaming call today!

I lead Zoom group calls all the time inside Dream Book, but I hadn't done one in a public way like this in some time. It felt vulnerable, I was nervous and it showed - for the first part of the call. Definitely not my best introduction to a call.

But I did get into it as we got into the meditation.

And then we had a really beautiful and rich discussion about listening to our dreams and getting into a PRACTICE with our dreams.

A Creative Dream Practice is so deep, rich and transformative.

And it's immediately generative. It doesn't TAKE energy, it GIVES energy because it's making space for YOU.

Watching these videos all summer WILL get you seeing, and feeling, your dreams in new ways.

I'll be doing this every Monday until Aug 28.

The replays will all be on my blog. If you want to attend live, register here to get the Zoom details.

Co-Dreaming Call 1: Introduction to Creative Dreaming As A Practice Read More »

The creative process is HEALING and TRANSFORMATIVE and so I have to let it change things

(These updates will slow down now, my husband and I are going away for a few days next week to celebrate our anniversary, and I find there's always a burst of creative energy at the start of doing something new, and then I settle into a routine with it and everything settles down, which is what I feel happening here. I assume I'll be updating a few times a week.)

That love for my project (from the last update) starts to drip into my heart. Warm sticky light.

And then I know:

I know what I want it to be ABOUT.

But I need to get more clear on what I want it to DO.

Later in the day I am thinking about how TRANSFORMATIVE and HEALING the creative process is.

And how we push back against transformation and healing when we push through to get the outer results/timing that we want.

And how I want to be here for the transformation and healing, not only for myself, but to pour those qualities into the book so they can be received by anyone who works with it.

I’m not writing a book/journal, I am creating a container. It’s what I’ve been doing with my courses for over a dozen years and I know I can do it in book/journal format, too.

So all this means that I need to not try to control the outcome.

I need to LISTEN. To the soul of the project but also to all of my own thoughts and feelings.

And here’s a thought I’d rather ignore:

I think all the pages I’ve shared so far from this book (including the pages ready to go in my Instagram drafts) aren’t actually pages for the book. I think this might just be the writing + artwork that gets me to a place of being ready to begin.

I hope not, but I am willing for it to be true because I want to follow this process where it leads and not try to control it.

So I go back to letting the love I have for the project drop into my heart.

And the knowing that this brings that I need to focus on what I want this book/journal to DO...

This immediately feels uncomfortable because I think I am trying to DO too many things.

And I think this means what I really need to do is break this down into a series of books. Which is always what I was doing, this was the first in a series, but what feels like it is changing is that I need to break it down much more than I was thinking. Like each book is maybe three books.

The idea that is asserting itself the most strongly is: a guidebook for engaging with impossible dreams.

If I make it more specific like this, then it’s easier to create the container.

My next steps: revisit all of the writing, look at it through this lens, see what happens.

The creative process is HEALING and TRANSFORMATIVE and so I have to let it change things Read More »

I love the pages I have written but I am struggling to put them all together.

Dream Book

This is a common theme for me, because the process of Creative Dreaming is entirely non-linear.

And even when we say we know it’s non-linear, we all tend to approach it looking for a linear path.

I mean the metaphor most people use is the spiral path.

But the spiral path is both linear AND directional. The line goes in a smooth, calm spiral.

Creative Dreaming is more an explosion than a spiral.

And that explosion creates new possibilities and destroys others and it’s disorienting but also life-giving. It’s like the creation of our galaxy.

Really beautiful things can come out of the messiest places. And also - sometimes things die, sometimes things are hard. It’s messy.

It feels like there is this whole industry out there trying to convince us that we don’t need to be messy. We can just manifest everything we want without ever knowing how we actually feel about anything. Which I think is a manifestation of our deep collective fears of being in the mess of life.

But I can’t make a book that is in the shape of an explosion.

I need to have pages, and the pages need to be in some kind of order.

I can encourage you to just open it up to a random page and work through it that way.

But I still have to put them into an order. Unless I print them out and pile them up and pick pages, like picking oracle cards, and put them into order that way?

That’s interesting.

I could also make little maps that guide you through in different ways.

The thing about a Creative Dream Practice is that it’s ALIVE. Once you’re in it, you can follow it and it won’t steer you wrong.

BUT

Getting into and then staying in it when things are hard, that’s the challenge.

That’s what I help people do in Dream Book. I know this book can’t do everything I do in Dream Book, but I want it to offer a way in, a new way of connecting with your dreams and navigating possibilities.

Because I have been doing this work for so long, and I’ve gone so deep into it, it can be hard for me to just keep things simple. I mean, Dream Book is a two year program and that’s if you’re going as fast as possible for two whole years. Most people take much longer, but by the time they get there, they’ve grown so much and so much has changed that it makes sense to start again at the beginning with their new dreams.

But this can’t be that!

  • I need this book to stay simple. A beginning book/journal about Creative Dreaming as a Practice.
  • How do I put this book into order, and give it some shape, and keep it simple?
  • Or am I not at that part yet? Should I just keep making pages and exploring my ideas?

Sometimes I end my practice with a few new questions and no new answers.

I love the pages I have written but I am struggling to put them all together. Read More »

Making changes along the way

Last week I said I was going to start sharing the book I am writing, as I go. I said I would post it on my social media and blog.

I did that last week, I did two posts and both times I wasn’t happy with the process of putting it on my blog.

Posting on Instagram felt great. I have a bunch of drafts ready to go in there, and the process of getting those drafts ready felt flowy and fun. Posting the drafts felt great.

But then going over to my blog, to share the same thing there, didn’t feel great. My body felt heavy. The work felt annoying. Even though it was the same work! Which is fascinating to me.

So I sat with that feeling and asked “Is this a sign I shouldn’t do this? Not share these things on my blog?”

And in the grand scheme of things, who even cares?

But, I care. I wanted to share it on my blog to have it on MY website and not just out in the social media ethers. And I always like to do what I said I would do, and I said I would do this.

But when I check in with how this feels in my body, my body does not care about either of these things. It cares about how uncomfortable it has been to get these blogs together, and how much it would rather be doing other things. It’s just giving a big NO.

That was the first post. I decided to try again for the second post, and see how that went. It went the same, and now here I am.

My head says: OMG this takes like two minutes, just do it. In all the work you’ve done to build your business this is hardly the most annoying thing! And you always ENJOYED doing even the annoying admin tasks because you’re doing it in service to your work! Where’s that attitude now?

I say: I don’t appreciate the attitude or you trying to boss me into doing it, but that is a good question. Why don’t I want to do this in service to this project?

The thing about approaching Creative Dreaming as a PRACTICE is that there is space to explore all of this, there is space for ALL thoughts and feelings.

You don’t just push through and focus on the outer work and getting things done, making visible progress. You make space to find YOUR way of creating YOUR path.

You try your ideas to find out how they fit and work for you!

This idea is not working for me.

If I stop doing it, that’s not a “I tried to do it, got uncomfortable, and gave up, and I am sure I will never get my dream now” kind of thing.

If I stop doing it, it’s a “I tried my idea, I processed my thoughts and feelings about it, I listened to my intuition and the soul of my dream, together we learned from these steps I took and used that learning to map out different steps to try next” kind of thing.

And THAT is how you make the magic happen.

THAT is how you practice your way there.

So, when I do all of this, here is the next idea that emerges:

I’m going to stop posting the little-book-blurbs-in process on my blog. I will keep posting them on Instagram. On my blog, I will write about the process of writing the book.

Write about the writing!

This feels curious and inspiring. My body feels open, light and sparkly. No part of me is against this idea. The soul of my dream is cheering for it.

So this is what I’ll do next.

And maybe I’ll do this two times and be all “oh wow this sucks” again or maybe this will be a really great thing for me. The outcome of any particular step doesn’t matter because I know I will stay in the process long enough to get to where I want to go.

It’s so much easier to stay in the process when you embrace and make space for all feelings and reactions. And it’s kind of ironic that pushing yourself to get to the finish line often pushes the finish line to far away it gets impossible to get there.

PS: I just posted the next blurb.

Making changes along the way Read More »

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