I had therapy last week and my therapist talked about how she sees that I have actually METABOLIZED all of my difficult my feelings about everything that’s happened in my life these last few months. And how, when you do that, you end up free. Happy. This is healing. 

My therapist said something like: "Your practices work. You had the rug pulled out from under you and you did not fall apart. You're doing great."

The next day I decided to go to the conservatory and butterfly garden and when I stepped in there I realised - now I’m am metabolizing my joy. Getting grounded in it. Breathing in joy. Appreciating the miracle that is my life. Optimistic for the future. 

There is a part of me, which keeps getting smaller, who is waiting for this to be harder. This part of me is stunned at how I’ve moved on from my (only?) (first?) marriage. 

This is an old story about fear and how hanging onto things is the only way to value or honour them. 

That part of me is a little freaked out to see the rest of me living in a brand new story about how life is a gift and I don’t want to spend it being unhappy and holding onto things that don’t fit anymore. And how it doesn’t take away from how much I loved my life with my husband, to say that it’s in the past now. 

The truth is, most of the time I feel deeply happy right now. There is so much space in my life for my healing practices and Dream Work, and I have been creating all new routines and habits for creative magic, self care and joy.

This is creative dreaming. Being deeply present with your life, not avoiding the hard parts but also not getting stuck in them. Using what you have to create what you want.

Dream Book members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay. Recent call: Centered Grounded Present. Upcoming calls: Goodbye 2023 Hello 2024

This question came up on our November new moon intention-setting and coaching call. (If you haven't watch it, get the replay here)

On one hand, this is a really BIG question. 

But on the other hands there is actually a really simple answer:

Don’t ever give up while you’re feeling defeated (or scared, frustrated, in a state of panic, etc).

The whole point of Creative Dreaming is to act from your inner truth. Your intuition, creativity, your true self, your connection to spirit. To not be reacting to the world or following the path the world tells you to follow, to act from a deeper place within yourself.

So you know it’s time to give up, or make a big change, if that’s what feels right inside you. It may feel sad, but it feels right.

And sometimes “giving up” doesn’t end up being about actually giving up the dream forever. 

It ends up being more about taking a break or giving up the way you were pursuing something and finding a way that works better for you.

There can (and probably will!) be times when you are doing you best but things just don’t work out. The obstacles start to pile up and it gets really, really scary.

There can be times when the things we need are always just out of reach.

We’re all going to feel defeated sometimes. We’re all going to panic about how slowly things are coming together. 

There are big, uncomfortable feelings involved with creative dreaming. 

And most of the work of creative dreaming is processing those feelings, alchemising them into fuel for for the path.

But what if that work just feels like too much?

If giving up feels like a relief, give up. 

Give up on that particular approach to that particular dream. 

Give yourself some space to rest and replenish and process your feelings and I believe your dream will come back to you when the time is right.

Sometimes giving up on a dream makes space for a new version of that dream to find you. Sometimes that new version is BETTER than the original dream.

This is all growth work.

Growth means change.

Our dreams shouldn’t stay static.

And there isn’t a way to do any of this wrong.

Just keep showing up. It's really about showing up FOR YOURSELF, not for any particular outcome.

 

Dream Book members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay. Upcoming calls: Centered Grounded Present. Goodbye 2023 Hello 2024

This is the journal page I made for Centered Grounded Present (which is today!)

I wanted to share it as another reminder that your drawings can look like a three year old did them! It doesn't matter what they look like, expressing how a thing feels in your journal is really really helpful.

The energy you're in when you are making a thing look how you want it to look is TOTALLY DIFFERENT from the energy of processing your feelings.

Your journal should be a safe space for processing your feelings.

There is nothing wrong with making art that looks how you want it to look and putting effort into that, but that's NOT the same as expressing and processing your feelings.

The CENTERED circle within a circle, and then the GROUNDED roots pulling down into the earth and then the PRESENT radiating out around it... this is how it feels for me today.

I felt the PRESENT as rays of light, but when I drew it, it looked like a flower and that felt right too.

I've been taking notes on what happens, how I feel, when I bring in these qualities. And I'll keep doing that on the call today.

It feels magical.

Like these qualities, together, pull me deeper into my body and into my magic. I feel powerful. And capable. And inspired. And all the good things.

I can't wait to practice in community, and then keep practicing this!

If you're in Dream Book: Get the call details here. (Replay will be here a few hours after we're done - leave your thoughts in the comments while you watch!)

If you're not in Dream Book: Find our more + sign up to join us here.

 

Dream Book members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay. Upcoming calls: Centered Grounded Present. Goodbye 2023 Hello 2024

Last week I got my first smart plug. I plugged a lamp into it.

Since the sun sets so early and rises so late now, I am often at the front door in the dark.

And there IS a light by the front door, but when I got married my husband built a big closet along that wall, which I am happy to have, but which put the light into the closet and so the entrance area is dark. And when I turn on a light, I have to go back and turn it off and I am trying to not walk around everywhere in my winter boots (there’s a lot of sand and salt on them). So it’s just awkward. 

I got this smart light, thinking how great it would be to be able to turn the lamp on and off with my voice.

But when I set it up, this option popped up on my phone, to AUTOMAGICALLY turn on the light when I come home and turn it off when I leave.

Like, whoa.

I didn’t know it could be this easy.

I want more of this in more parts of my life. Not smart gadgets, but having things turn out easier than I think they will be. And feeling delighted and supported by that.

To that end - Centered Grounded Present is happening tomorrow.

Because everything DOES go better when you are centered, grounded and present.

AND because GETTING centered, grounded and present is so HARD right now.

Of course the harder things get, the more important it is that we do this work. But also the harder things get, the harder it is to do this work.

Both are true.

So we're going to recognize and be with all of the ways that this work is hard.

We're going to tap into the magic of not being alone in this work.

And we're going to PRACTICE, not perfect.

If you're in Dream Book: Get the call details here. (Replay will be here a few hours after we're done tomorrow - leave your thoughts in the comments while you watch!)

If you're not in Dream Book: Find our more + sign up to join us here.

 

Dream Book members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay. Upcoming calls: Centered Grounded Present. Goodbye 2023 Hello 2024

(Photo of me doing my planning for next week on Friday FOR THE THIRD WEEK IN A ROW??!!)

✨Weekly planning is a miracle✨

Dream Book Resource: Creative Genius Planning Sessions

During the pandemic I stopped doing weekly planning with any kind of consistency because it was week after week of NOT doing the things I wanted to do so why keep trying?

And while I feel like a broken record about this, it’s still on my mind so I’ll keep talking about it - I haven’t been able to get back on track since. Maybe I have long Covid, maybe it’s all peri-menopause, but I definitely don’t have the mental clarity, focus and drive I used to have. 

But I still have creative dreams.

And creative dreams do us to take action and taking action is just really messy without a plan. 

We’ve done some amazing, healing Zooms on structure and routines in Dream Book recently and it’s really helped me sort through this to find a way to do this that feels supportive and hopeful. 

(Dream Book members: If you missed them, the replays are: Structure Habits Routines Call | Marketing as a Creative + Spiritual Practice Calls: Calls 12 + 13 about habits, systems + structure)

I started with 1 rule: plan next week at the end of this week. 

This is not a rule I suggest for anyone else, I just noticed that by the end of the week I felt some momentum starting. And on Mondays I tend to feel pretty unsure of where to start my week. So I decided to use the momentum I had at the end of the week to plan the following week. 

It’s working really well. 

Which does not mean I am DOING ALL THE THINGS every week. Some things get moved into next week’s plan. That’s fine. 

Sometimes we just can’t do everything we want and sometimes we are planning unrealistically and we become more realistic and effective at planning by… DOING IT CONSISTENTLY. 

And the only way to be consistent at anything is to do it a small and easy enough way that you can actually DO IT.

Once you are doing it you can gradually ramp up if that’s appropriate. But often, we can make more progress than we think I’m with really tiny steps. 

And it’s not about forcing yourself to do the things you think you’re supposed to.  

I am astounded by how HEALING it is to follow through on my own ideas. To write the idea down and say: I will give this some time and energy this week. And then to do it. 

It makes me feel so optimistic for my future. 

If you’re not doing it, what’s the smallest way you could some weekly planning FOR YOUR DREAMS, not for the things you “need to do”?

 

Dream Book members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay. Upcoming calls: Centered Grounded Present. Goodbye 2023 Hello 2024

Yesterday is a good example of a day where I was stuck and didn't want to "un-stick". You know? As I always say, you do the work that's in front of you and if you "just can't" with dream work then that means you need inner work.

And I chose not to. I did some journaling which was good AND ALSO I just kind of sucky and stuck most of the day.

AND I decided to make sure today was not a sucky day by promising myself if I still felt I couldn't do anything with Dream Book, then I had to do the Un-Sticking Station.

Today I started the Dream Self Challenge. (If you're brand new you won't have access to this yet, you get new pages each month. But you do have the Dream Self Page)

This was soooo goooood.

Honestly, just the start of any of the Creative Dream Alchemy meditations is such an ideal way for me to start a day. A reminder that my feelings are ok, I don't have to change them in order to show up for my dreams and then connecting with the Field of Creative Dream Alchemy always shifts my mood if I start in a bad one.

My Dream Self was soooo helpful. Connecting with her felt like such a gift.

Then she gave me a crystal ball that felt healing and activating.

 

Dream Book members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay. Upcoming calls: Centered Grounded Present. Goodbye 2023 Hello 2024

I wasn't sure where to start today, so I went to the Dream Book Oracle again.

It sent me to the Dream Self Challenge, which felt like the perfect thing.

I printed out the cutouts and cut them out and sat down with journal and glue stick and then... just got distracted. The week after the time change I usually am pretty distractible and "off".

In the spirit of Creative Dream Alchemy (meeting yourself where you are and moving towards where you want to be) I am giving myself permission to be where I am.

Distracted. Foggy. Not in a place for this kind of focused Dream Work.

What I can do is... just journal. With no particular focus. Starting with the question:

What do I want?

Not necessarily to answer the question, but to let my thoughts wander on the page. So I am setting a timer for 20 minutes and going to do that for my practice today.

 

Dream Book members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay. Upcoming calls: Centered Grounded Present. Goodbye 2023 Hello 2024

Today I did Creative Genius Planning.

(If you’re not in Dream Book you can do this one for free here. If you are in Dream Book you can get it here - you get 7 different versions of it for different circumstances)

I forget how much I love the Creative Genius Planning practice.

All those weeks when I was struggling so much with structure and planning - THIS WOULD HAVE HELPED!!!

I wasn’t using it because I didn’t think I had enough clarity to do it, but it would have helped me have more clarity.

This is such a beautiful process. During the meditation, looking at my list for the week, I suddenly knew how to structure it! I created three categories: Admin Work, Creative Work and Visioning/Journaling.

I labeled each thing on my list with one of these. Now it’s easier to zero in on the tasks that match my energy at any given time.

This isn’t earth-shattering or anything but feels like a really solid step towards having a more supportive structure for doing all the things I want to be doing.

The end part of the meditation made me want to cry.

I am doing this in a coffee shop, otherwise I might have. Just so beautiful to feel that support and fuel and that radiating light.

To feel supported, by my own creative genius, to do the things I want to do.

I am also feeling like - that support was always there, even in the last little while when I thought I wasn’t “up for” being that version of me who felt like she could move forward. But the thing is, I was moving forward. It just looked/felt different because my life was changing so quickly.

Also tears for the magic of re-connecting with the part of me who feels ready to plan because planning only happens when you’re ready for action. 

And it’s not all about “accomplishing tons of things” it’s about the healing magic of doing the things you feel called to do. And how hard it is when you can’t do them. And then how amazing it feels when you can do them again.

Over the years I have worked with so many people who, for one reason or another, couldn’t do the things they wanted to do.

It’s not that uncommon to sign up for coaching and then something happens where you can’t do the thing you wanted to do in coaching, or something you just have so much resistance come up you absolutely cannot do the thing.

BEING WITH the pain of that is a part of practicing your creative dreams. It’s healing and restorative to tend to it. And it is laying the foundation for being able to do the thing when the timing is right.

Sometimes, especially when it’s mostly our own resistance in the way, tending to that pain IS the next step, and you won’t be able to do the thing until you have done that work.

Dream Book Resources for that: Space-Making, Library of Inner Work Practices especially: For When You Are In Resistance and For When You’re Avoiding The Un-Sticking Station.

 

Dream Book members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay. Upcoming calls: Centered Grounded Present. Goodbye 2023 Hello 2024

You cannot wholeheartedly pursue your dreams if you are avoiding your feelings. Any feelings.

You also cannot be wholeheartedly pursuing your dreams and not end up in situations that CAUSE the kinds of feelings we’d all rather avoid.

(There are three different videos “for when you’re disappointed” in the library of tools you get with​ Dream Book​ - because disappointment is a place we land in so often on this path)

With everything that’s been happening in my life, I’ve been making more time than usual for processing my feelings.

And I’ve been practicing “extra-good” physical self care to help my body process all of these feelings.

Lately some of my feelings have felt way bigger than me, like they are too big and too heavy to process. Like all I can do is try to avoid them or let them crush me.

It’s so easy in those moments to forget that there’s another option. And it’s so easy to believe the story about how the feeling is too much for me, which is my resistance talking.

Late last week I noticed I was REALLY in my head.

I was caught in this story about my divorce that kept going in circles and making me feel more and more agitated.

Finally I said - “Hey wait a minute… where is feeling in my body?”

Which brought me out of my head and into my feelings. Then I was like “Oh. THIS is why I’ve been stuck in my head. This feeling is too much.”

But I stayed with it and in a few minutes, I knew this feeling was shame.

It was heavy and sticky.

And it feels so gross to feel it.

And it feels kind of slippery and like a snake, like it can slither beneath the surface and become easy to not notice anymore. (Which is resistance)

And it’s so tempting to let it do that!

But what it does beneath the surface is so damaging.

And as hard as it is to feel it, that’s the way to process it, that’s the way to move through it, that’s the way to truly be free of it.

Unfelt shame will keep healing just out of reach. It will make dreams very vague and uncertain.

It will make any kind of positive change seem impossible. It will keep you in your head and it will see you reacting to what’s happening around you instead of creating the things you are here to create.

Feeling shame is nothing to be ashamed of.

We all feel it. Just like every other feeling.

And, living in this world where we are taught and encouraged to pretend we are robots with no feelings, it’s really common to have rivers of unfelt shame flowing in our inner worlds. Just like we have self doubt, fear, and all sorts of other uncomfortable feelings.

Learning to avoid these feelings is often rewarded in our culture, but you can’t get at your MAGIC with that approach.

Nov 15: Centered, Grounded Present

This is a 90 minute zoom class where we’ll do an alchemy meditation together to practice BEING centered, grounded and present. And then talk about the things that make this hard, the things that make this easier, and make plans for finishing the year feeling the ways we want to feel.

Not by AVOIDING the ways we actually feel.

Making space to feel your actual feelings is a practice that supports the practice of calling in the feelings you want to feel.

BEING centered, grounded and present is a thing you can practice. Just like you can practice joy, calm and inspiration.

It’s a part of the larger work of PRACTICING our creative dreams.

PRACTICING becoming who we really are.

I hope you’ll join me on Nov 15 for the live Zoom, or the replay (you can leave comments while you watch and if you have questions I’m there to answer).

Get the call details here (Dream Book members only)

 

Dream Book members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay. Upcoming calls: Centered Grounded Present. Goodbye 2023 Hello 2024

After you've done the 2 years of the main Dream Book program, there is this Dream Book Oracle that appears in the Dream Book menu (this is in the sidebar on any page with a Dream Book lesson.)

This is because you don't need to keep re-doing everything, but it's good to check in with things, and the oracle can send you to something when you're not sure what to do.

I tried it today, I got FEAR. (If you're newer to Dream Book you might not have access to this yet, you get new lessons every month)

These prompts are not comfortable, but let's do them.

In the video I talk about how facing this stuff is hard, but freeing. And that these prompts just generally shine a light on what's happening with fear, there is nothing in particular for you to learn here, just to explore what's going on right now.

My fear wants me to: take a nap, slow down, read ALL the books, not take risks, focus on the external things, panic about money

Things I do when my fear is activated: freeze, distract (lots of scrolling!), cry, panic,

Things that help me feel less afraid: use the un-sticking station, make art with my fear to express my feelings, go for a walk, phone a friend, cook a meal (feels like a healthier form of distraction), take a hot bath

The fear that holds me back the most: that things won't turn out like I want them to

Things my fear has stopped me from doing: I've worked hard on it, I don't know that it's totally stopping me like it used to, but it for sure slows me down

If I had no fear I would: Oh yikes. I feel afraid of the question!

 

Dream Book members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay. Upcoming calls: Centered Grounded Present. Goodbye 2023 Hello 2024

Your dream is how your soul calls you towards your true self.

Your dream is not meant to be this static thing that never changes. 

The last few months, my dream changed dramatically. I was dreaming of winter-as-healing-retreat. Taking fall and winter to really BE WITH my feelings, process everything, focus on self care.

The situation with my step-son has gotten much better. It was terrifying for so long, and the situation is still not good, but there is steady improvement. Instead of waiting for him to be stable enough for one procedure, they are doing the procedure in very small amounts, a few times a week, and this is going really well. He should be home sometime in November, to recover for a few months, and back into the hospital next year for another procedure. Nothing is certain but it seems like the worse is behind him. 

Not feeling terrified about what is happening to him is a huge relief for me.

I’ve also had a few months to really grieve the loss of my marriage in a big way and process my feelings and I am feeling so much more grounded now. Joseph came over for lunch this weekend and it was nice to spend time together as friends and talk about what we want that to look like in the future.

So, I am no longer dreaming of winter-as-healing-retreat.

I mean - YES to healing practices and self care and hibernating. And I am so excited about the creative projects I want to work on this winter.

But also, all the things in my Dream Book from before all of this are feeling more important.

So this morning I did the Dream Lab and invited all of it in and you know what showed up… me, where I was. Lying on my Day Bed in my studio with my cat on me.

Feeling connected and magical. Powerful.

And my dream said: you’re doing great! Keep focusing on untangling all the threads.

(My to do list feels like a tangle of threads right now, but not SUPER tangled, like if I just keep doing one tiny thing at a time it will start to feel manageable again)

 

Dream Book members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay. Upcoming calls: Centered Grounded Present. Goodbye 2023 Hello 2024

Last week was full of stucks and flailing and resistance and more stucks.

I could see where I wanted to be, in terms of my routines and sense of structure, but I could not get there.

But I kept trying. That’s SO IMPORTANT in those hard times.

Rest, yes. Take breaks, yes. But also - show up for the hard times. Show up to be with the stucks and the resistance. Tend to all of the feelings that come up around them.

But I DID do one great thing last week: on Friday afternoon I planned out this week.

In all that flailing about how to get into the routines I want to have, one thing that felt clear is that planning the week before really works for me. So I did it.

Just a simple list: Things to focus on. Things I’d like to accomplish.

It feels REALLY GOOD to start this week from this place of having some clarity and not feeling like I need to figure out what to do.

And on Sunday I planned out Monday. I figured out what to wear, I wanted to walk (30 minutes) to a coffee shop so planned out the layers I’ll need to stay warm. I figured out what to bring (journal + laptop) and brought my list of things I wanted to do.

And when I got to the coffee shop, I started with journaling - just to journal. Nothing specific, no Dream Book. Just giving my thoughts and feelings space, which is how I used to start my days. I LOVE THIS.

I feel like I took a big step towards being IN the routines I want to be in.

 

Dream Book members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.