I do a New Moon Intention Setting Call every month, which is open to all Dream Book members. There is also the New Moon Intention Setting Ritual Kit for people who are not in the membership.

When it comes to my new moon intention setting, some months I know exactly what I want to do next, and some months I have no clue.

But I DO IT every month. And in the process of reflection and meditation - it feels like the right intention finds me.

Our last new moon intention setting call was on April 5 (I try to do these a few days before the new moon so that people have a chance to use the replay before or on the new moon)

I just looked through my journal and… ever since that day I’ve been drowning in the opposite of my intention.

This is how it works sometimes.

I’m not failing.

Sometimes life just lifes.

Sometimes, more often actually, setting an intention clears the way for us to see what needs to change in order to have the thing we want.

And that can get really ugly.

Which is where I am right now.

And I’ve been here so many times I am not un-nerved by it. I was relieved to open my journal this morning, revisit my new moon intention journaling, and notice how I had the exact opposite of it.

Oh, ok, so THIS IS THE WORK.

I mean I tell this to people every day, and it’s still humbling each time I see it for myself. This is the work.

Most “next steps” in outer work, most changes we want to see in our lives, require “next steps” in inner work, to go deeper.

This is NOT because we are fucked up and need to change to be good enough to have our dreams!!! Because we are deeply and significantly impacted by the culture we grow up in, and our culture is a flaming trash bin. White supremacy, the patriarchy, colonialist capitalism - these systems are bad for all living things and they’ve impacted us all.

So, in these times, you need to get MORE curious about where you hold back from the things you want, you need to be MORE compassionate with the parts of you who don’t believe in you or your dreams.

You are not wrong for the places where you hold back.

You are not wrong for HAVING inner work to do, to get to where you want to be.

This is where I am today. Noticing how the inner work just got more clear.

The prompt I am working with:

How can I support ALL PARTS OF ME in being ready to do this thing I want to do?

 

Dream Book members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

I’ve been showing up for my Creative Dream Practice, doing the alchemy processes, working with my dream… but not in the actual book that I had made for Dream Book.

Sometimes this happens.

Sometimes it’s resistance - because having it all ORGANIZED in the way we do in Dream Book gives you a sense of clarity and direction that can be scary at times.

Sometimes it’s not resistance, you’re just in a place on the path that’s less linear and structured.

Anyway, I opened up my Dream Book and it made sense - I could see why I hadn’t opened it in a while.

In the fall I had made pages for my new dreams, for the liminal space I figured I would be in for a while. Space for healing and self care and adjusting to the shock of my husband leaving. Dreams of giving myself the fall and winter to be in a cocoon of healing, and emerging in the spring ready to create my new life.

Not that I wanted to dictate the timing of my healing process, I wasn’t going to force myself out of the cocoon on any particular date - it’s just that’s how it felt to me at the time.

And now here I am, emerging from the cocoon. I mean, kind of.  I'm feeling inspired and motivated. I know so much more about what I want my new life to look like.

So here am - opening my Dream Book to get myself organized.

That doesn’t mean these past months I have been “off track” or anything.

I was just in a non-linear part of the path.

It’s ALL a part of it.

Even the times when you're just 100% IN RESISTANCE and not showing up - that's a part of it too. There is so much to wrestle with, and so many ways to work with our dreams.

 

Dream Book members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

This is the mantra I got in this week’s Dream Book journaling + alchemy kit: I am capable of more than I know.

This is one of those mantras that has usually been true.

AND

Some of the times when I have MOST felt it are the times when I was actually the LEAST capable.

Like, there is a delusion that can set in and it can help us overcome a lot of shit.

Like "Oh I'll just put my art on Instagram and it will sell immediately!" and we use that courage to take a bunch of super brave steps.... and in the process we begin the journey of learning JUST HOW MUCH we have to do to actually sell the art.

It can feel like you've been defeated but actually, that courage and confidence helped get you to a place where you see how much you have to learn, which IS what will get you to a place of being able to do the thing.

So, I take some hope then, in the fact that I'm not sure how capable I feel right now.

And this mantra feels like a balm, reminding me of my truth.

We are always capable of our creative dreams. Our creative dreams CHOOSE us for a reason.

We won't always FEEL capable.

Learning to show up consistently. Having ways of working with your dream that work for where you're at (ie Dream Book!!). Making Creative Dreaming a HABIT. This all really helps us move through the feeling-less-capable times.

 

Dream Book members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

 

This is the mantra I got in this week’s Dream Book journaling + alchemy kit: I am ready for my breakthrough.

It’s a little spooky how these mantras have been so RIGHT ON for me lately. Either bringing me the lessons/awareness I need, or just being the exact vibe I am already in.

I am ready for my breakthrough.

I feel like I HAD the breakthrough, but I am in this space of adjusting to it, and the adjustment feels HUGE.

I am ready for my breakthrough. This feels like a bit of a balm for the parts of me who are like “Am I though?”

The breakthrough is around how I want to describe Dream Book… and actually going back to my decision to re-name the membership to Dream Book and making a different decision.

It’s like how a few years ago I moved my bedroom downstairs and put my workspace upstairs. The upstairs loft is my favourite part of my condo and it felt so good to give that space to my creativity.

Until it started to feel URGENT that I give that space back to my bedroom. And it was this huge annoying job to actually move everything, but I did it. But now that it’s done it’s like WHOA. I needed this so much.

This doesn’t negate how right it felt to move my workspace upstairs when I did it.

We’re alive and changing and we get to keep making new choices.

So, I am making the choice to re-name the membership. Which doesn’t change anything about what’s happening inside - other than I also want to add Friday afternoon coaching calls.

It changes the sales page. It changes how I talk about it.

Which has always been the hardest part of my work for me. And over the years I have hired people to do this work FOR me, I’ve hired coaches and mentors to do it WITH me, and now I feel SO sure that I know the right way to do this. It feels so right.

AND

It’s just a big step.

So… I am READY for my breakthrough. I am ready to DO THE WORK of acting on it. I have been doing the work, and it’s FUCKING HARD so repeating the mantra I am ready for my breakthrough is really helping.

Because it feels true. This is hard AND I am ready to do it.

 

Dream Book members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

This is the mantra I got in this week’s Dream Book journaling + alchemy kit: I am excited about what comes next.

Oh wow this one LANDS.

Divorce is an upheaval that has me re-thinking… everything. While also sending me deeper into the roots of my emotional reactions.

And it’s birthed TWO WHOLE NEW DREAMS so far!

One I already shared - getting an RV or camper or something and creating a tiny home-on-wheels and going on adventures with my cat Bear. This one needs planing, preparation, and money and I am working towards it slowly, savouring the process of dreaming about it.

The other one is brand new - I want to start making lino cut block prints. I did this in university and LOVED IT and always wanted to come back to it, but… life lifed. And it’s a lot to get into a whole new thing.

But recently the pieces all came together… I am making some new clothes for spring and bought solid coloured fabrics with the idea to get simple stamps to make patterns on them. Once I saw what is out there for block printing (I did this almost 30 years ago so the landscape has changed!) I got SO inspired. And then I remembered how it felt to hold those tools in my hands and carve out my drawings and it felt like coming home to a part of me that has been lost.

And then the idea just expanded and expanded.

I dug around in my “journals I bought and haven’t started yet drawer” and found a sketchbook and I am starting to sketch my ideas and getting ready to go ABSOLUTELY BONKERS with lino block printing. I am imagining eventually re-arranging the loft - again - to make space for a huge block printing table.

It’s making me feel SO ALIVE. SO EXCITED ABOUT MY FUTURE.

But AS ALWAYS, it’s our actual reactions to the mantras that matter. And we can react differently to the same mantra each time we use it! Each of those reactions can teach us something.

But I have had SO MANY FUCKING LESSONS coming at me lately, and it’s really nice to just sit here and FEEL EXCITED. This is healing, too.

 

Dream Book members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

I don’t know WHY today is so hard.

If I knew, would that make it easier?

Or is “I don’t know WHY this is so hard!” just stopping me from working through whatever is happening here?

Remembering: IT’S SIMPLE. JUST SHOW UP. WORK WITH WHAT IS THERE.

I have time to work on my dream and I feel stuck, broken-hearted and angry.

This is not how I want to feel while working on my dream, so I want to just put this all away and…

And what?

I don’t know.

So I am going to use the Journal Sheet for Taking Consistent Steps

Working through the sheet, a few things I notice:

My big dream feels so far away. For some reason I feel I can’t do this until I am divorced, not while “going through a divorce”.

My plan for today is a little vague, having a more sharply defined plan might have helped me turn this morning around really fast. I HAVE noticed this about myself before and i DO have a protocol where at the end of each day I check in with everything and LEAVE MYSELF A NOTE FOR THE NEXT DAY so I can pick up the threads and keep going, not feel like I am starting from scratch. Obviously, I didn’t do this yesterday.

I do feel completely unprepared for my list today though. And that feels like the main issue, so I am going over to the un-sticking station with that:

Hey, Completely Unprepared For My List Today, can we chat?

I see me, at my current age, kind of blurry but feeling like a deer in headlights.

Oh sweetie, here. Let’s cozy you up with a blanket and a cup of tea and a little snack.

She appreciates this, gives a big sigh and says “This isn’t where I thought I would be”

... but while this is happening, it feels like my NEW LIFE is trying to BURST IN. Like - break up the whole scene.

I check in with my deer-in-headlights self “Hey sweetheart, what do you think of my new life just bursting in like this?”

It feels so strong and bright and exciting. I feel drab in comparison to it.

I paused here, and made another cup of coffee. Soaking this in a bit. My old life, the version of me who is stunned by where I am now, is DRAB in comparison to what is in front of me.

This is important.

I also have been feeling desperate to cling to my old life. Which feels futile and when I really sit with those feelings, dig in deeper to find out where they are coming from - it’s just old programming. There’s nothing at the core of them that feels like truth.

This BRIGHTNESS feels like truth.

I’ve been exploring, more deeply than I ever have, the difference between my feelings and my soul - or what feels like my TRUTH. Which part of me has a broken heart? Which part of me is mapping out my new life? Which part do I want to follow?

I am trusting, more deeply than I ever have, my dreams. Every little desire. The way they light me up from the inside and feel like coming home.

I’ve had a new dream come to me over the last few days.

It’s something I used to do, and dreamed of doing more, and then… life happened. For the last few YEARS I’ve been thinking of doing it, in a more casual way, but it felt like A LOT to start something new… now suddenly it feels IMPORTANT and LIFE CHANGING.

There is this BOUNCY energy around it.

Do I trust the bounce?

I mean, obviously, I trusted my dreams and all the good energy about marrying my husband and…

So, do I keep trusting it?

There is this James Baldwin quote I just wrote out HUGE and put up in my living room:

Love brought you here.

If you trusted love this far,

Don’t panic now

When I remember that, I think of all of the growth and healing I experienced in my marriage, and how my husband did not take that from me when he left.

I wish we had a relationship right now that honored that. But right now we’re not speaking (which I thought was best) and maybe a part of what is bothering me today is how unresolved so many things are.

Hmmmm. Not what I was expecting to find in my explorations today.

(Sitting with this for a bit)

OK, back to Completely Unprepared For My List Today….

She’s not so drab anymore! Sitting in a rainbow sweatshirt. sipping coffee. The sun is shining into the room. She’s holding a journal that says “WE GOT THIS”

(which feels like a miracle given where I started this week and how I was feeling about "I got this" as my mantra)

And we don’t feel unprepared for the list anymore, we are ready to dive in.

 

Dream Book members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.