I am starting my new life
I just sat down at my “new” desk.
Yesterday I had an intense therapy session and when I came home, I re-arranged my furniture to support my new life. (I still have not really started the "declutter, re-organize and re-decorate project" but I have all year for that!)
I realized I had been using my “dining table” as more of a “creative work table” and it would FEEL more like a work table if I moved it over to my desk, art + sewing area.
AND doing that made the whole lower floor of the loft feel like an art studio, which is what I was going for.
So, I sat down at my new desk in my new art studio. (Formerly my dining table, lol)
I am ready to make a big change, and re-orient a big chunk of my time and energy towards ART MAKING.
Oh wow writing that as a HEADLINE feels powerful.
I’ve been wanting this for so long.
And I have been tangled in EVERY creative dream trap that I have seen every person I work with get tangled in.
But I didn’t know I was tangled I thought I just had to “finish this other thing first”.
Which is the ultimate tangle, when we have ourselves convinced that it’s a legitimate thing we are waiting on.
I don’t want anything to change with the Creative Dream Incubator membership. What I want to change is to shift most of the time and energy I spend on the “business stuff” over to art making.
I think from a purely strategic perspective, this is the smartest thing for me at this time. But more importantly this is what feels ALIVE.
(Rather, my most wise and grounded and creative and brave self thinks this. I have many selves who are terrified about it)
The business stuff has been so important to me because my marriage ended, which instantly doubled my cost of living, and then the cost of living kept rising and my peri-menopausal brain just couldn’t do the things I used to AND even if I could do them, the things I used to do don’t work the way they used to. So it’s been a lot to sort through and figure out.
And I thought I would come to this place where it felt like “For sure I am done sorting through and figuring because I make so much more money than I need so I am free to go make art”
But that’s not what is happening and I’ve come to a point where it’s either keep making myself do “business stuff” that my heart is NOT in which I think will start to endanger my soul….
(I am NOT saying that doing the work to support your business is soul destroying!!!! This is just the point I am at)
OR do the thing that feels alive and inspiring and…. FEELS LIKE THE MAGIC OF THE CREATIVE DREAM INCUBATOR.
AND, when I look at the “business stuff” I’ve been working on - I honestly believe that sharing more art is the thing that will enliven my marketing because it puts me deeper into the magic.
(Because this last year+ of really working on it has been good! I feel like I have shored up my marketing, I am really proud of what I have done, it’s just not bringing in the big bucks)
And I will still write newsletters and promote the membership because I FUCKING LOVE what we are doing in there and want more people to find us but more of my time and energy are going to go to art.
I can’t explain how tangled up I have been about all of this.
Again, therapy was INTENSE yesterday.
It feels like a lot of things are coming to a head.
It feels like ALL the things I talk about in the Principles of Creative Dream Alchemy. My soul is calling me towards my truth. That’s intense!!!
But I am sitting at my “new desk” and I feel ready to start my “new life” where I am devoted to art making in the ways I have been dreaming of.
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