I went camping last weekend.? I left right after lunch on Friday, and came back Sunday night – to an overflowing inbox.

I did scan it for emergencies – if my students can’t access my classes or if I screwed up something for my clients or students I want to fix that right away.

But everything else can wait.

Because if I jump straight into my inbox then I’m allowing other people’s demands to shape my day.? Which means I’m giving up my power/ability to create.

Not that I never want to jump into my inbox – it’s that I want to go in with a plan.

So, I got up early Monday morning and went to the park. I sat down with a coffee and just appreciated everything.? This beautiful day, the amazing weekend I just had, how free and happy I was feeling in that moment and how free and happy I’d been feeling all weekend.

I breathed into all the places inside me that had softened and opened after a weekend away from other people and electricity and the buzz of the city.

I felt into the week ahead – all of my hopes and wishes and plans for what I’d like to create, experience and explore.

I did a Creative Genius Planning Session in my journal to pull out the qualities that are important for me to work with this week and I breathed them in.? (Circle members: there’s a Creative Genius Planning Kit with videos/meditation/worksheets in the Tools + Classes section)

I set my priorities.? I planned my schedule.

I got clear.

And then it was easy to zoom happily through my inbox and take care of what needed taking care of.

You create your life from the energy you carry.

If you don’t take the time to deliberately choose what energy you’re carrying, the outer world will just bulldoze all over your beautiful intentions.

Years of practicing being intentional about the energy I carry has led me to a pretty peaceful place where I have what I need to create what I want.

In my business, I get to do the work I love, share my ideas in meaningful ways and make the money I need to live the life I want.? Most days it feels like I am living a miracle when I think back to how I used to struggle as a starving artist, and as an office worker dreaming of a more creative life.

But everything in my outer is going so well because of how I put the inner work first.

Everyone wants to know what tools to use as though the right tools will guarantee success.?? The most important tool is the energy you’re holding and how you’re holding it.? It’s how you approach your work.

You are infinitely powerful.

You are infinitely creative.

When you work from this part of you – you work differently:

• You set things up to be truly sustainable.? You don’t take on more than you can chew, you don’t leave things to the last minute and you look for ways to keep things simple.

• You take responsibility for everything. You remember that your life is a mirror so you don’t waste your time cleaning the mirror in the hopes that this will make it reflect something more beautiful.

• You use setbacks and obstacles as growth opportunities. Everything you need to learn about how to get to where you want is right there.

• You’re really honest with yourself about what you need in order to be full, inspired and happy.? You understand that this is where your best work comes from and this is what fuels the whole thing so extreme self-care becomes non-negotiable.

• You treat every part of your work with love, care and attention.? This is your heart and soul and purpose brought to life so you treat it as the precious thing it is.

• You remember the true aim of your work: to serve.??In order for your business to become sustainable it’s got to meet your needs but it’s not ABOUT your needs.? This one is more important than it seems, really look at where you’re hoping that success in business will help you to feel better about yourself and do the inner work to clean up your energy .
  

Everyone wants to gloss over the inner growth that has to happen before you can have the business that you really want.

You can’t be all frazzled and disorganized and expect your business to run smoothly.

Yes, you can follow all of the rules and use all the right tools and you can make money but until you clean up your inner patterns more money is only going to magnify them.? So: more stress, more chaos, more self-doubt, more fear.? Not fun.

(I cover this at length in the Creative With Money kit in the Creative Dream Circle)

Focus on the inner stuff and allow the inner to lead.? When you’re clear in your inner world, when you create space inside of you for success and joy and living the life you want – then your intuition can easily lead you to the right steps in the outer world.

That part is the easy part.

For me, this means using smart + helpful apps that save time and keep things running smoothly with as little effort as possible.

Inside the Creative Dream Circle you get my Creative Business Incubator e-Course where I share EVERYTHING I did and learned in building my business – seriously, hours and hours of videos and links to resources.

Today I thought I’d just share the three tools I’m using the most these days.

Simplero for my Creative Dream Circle

After years of running my classes online, finding Simplero has been an absolute miracle for me.? The Creative Dream Circle memberships are 100% automated which means new members get what they need exactly when they need it and my time is free to participate and play in the Circle instead of managing memberships and dealing with problems.

The site is fast to load and members can download their videos, mp3s and workbooks easily and I never have to worry if everything is working right.

The price tag seems high – but this replaced some other apps I was paying for before – for email and the membership site – so in the end it’s not a lot higher but it takes a lot of work off of me.? Plus there’s a free trial so there’s no reason to give it a try.? (Just remember that there’s a steep learning curve to learning any app that’s going to do this much for you)

Zendesk for making email better

With 6,000 people taking my free course this is a necessity because it means those people can get the help they need with the course without me helping each person individually which would be impossible.? It took a lot of work to get it all set up, but it’s been totally worth it.

Asana for keeping everything I’m doing? ridiculously organised

Because being ridiculously organised helps me not fill my inner world with stress.? When my brain doesn’t have to hold the details it’s free to do more important stuff – like dream and be happy.

I love the feeling that Asana is holding everything for me.? I get notifications on my phone every morning of what’s up that day, but it’s much more than a to-do list, it stores all of my ideas and projects in ways that are easy to access when I need them, but don’t clutter up my calendar but still lets me see everything that needs to happen in the future.? And it’s simple to use.? And free!

I believe that you can succeed.

It’s never been easier for creative spiritual people to create their own empires.

Just don’t short-change your possibilities by trying to skip over the path.? You’ve got to grow into your most successful self on the inside, first.

I’ve been working on The Magic Journal Cards project for months now.? I LOVE these cards and want to give them my best and have really enjoyed working hard on them.

Last week I got completely stuck with this project.? Again.

To make a long story short: I have a pretty big, heavy stack of artwork that I thought were the completed deck of Magic Journal Cards and it turns out this is just another draft.? (And I had already done quite a few drafts before I started this one!)

Which means I have to scrap this work and start over.

Which is exciting because these cards are pretty cool so the next set is going to be even better.? I am getting closer to the essence of what these cards want to be.

And it’s frustrating because it feels like three months of work going down the drain.

And it’s overwhelming because how/where will I find the time to re-do all of this work?

And it’s sad because I thought I was almost done and I’m actually really far from done.

So how do I know that it’s time to throw in the towel?

I took this question to my art journal.

First, I wrote long and hard and HONESTLY about where I’m at with the project and how I feel about everything.

(This included writing about all these small irritations that I had been trying to avoid.)

Then, I connected with the energetic essence (AKA the heart and soul) of the project.? We had a good, long talk.

I have a lot of attachments to the work I’ve done so far.

But I have a even bigger attachment to doing the best work I can for this.

And this is what it came down to: I couldn’t feel good about putting them out into the world the way they were.

It wasn’t a “You’re not good enough” inner critic voice – though that was there too.? I took my inner critic into the Un-Sticking Station in the Creative Dream Circle and worked through it and transformed that fear and got to the truth underneath it: the work just wasn’t right for the project.

I really thought it was the right thing when I started.? It really felt like the right thing while I was working on it.? (And it was right, in a way, at the time – it was the thing that led me to know more about what the project needed.)

You don’t start out already knowing everything.? Knowing comes further along the path.

See – all those small things that were irritating me were signs pointing me in a new direction.? But I didn’t want to listen because I was so attached to the work I’d done and so sure that I was going in the right direction already.

I assumed they were just tiny inner critics and wanted to not let them slow me down.

But if I had carried on avoiding them their energy would have become prickly little bugs in the energy of the project.? It would have made the whole thing wonky – not just the creation of the cards, but the marketing and sales parts too.

This really is the path!

Doing the work, being present with what’s happening beneath the surface, exploring your relationship with the project, learning more about what the project needs, transforming the ick that comes up in the process, re-doing the work.

Otherwise, all of your un-processed stuff does wind up in the final work, giving it a wonky energy that will keep it from completing it’s mission – to serve the people that you are creating it to serve.

For me, what it comes down to is that I am deeply committed to the project’s mission.? So I want to do whatever I can to support it in getting there.? And in the process I do wind up all tangled up in my own stuff sometimes.

Each time I work through this process with a project I come out more connected to my intuition and creativity and I trust myself more.

This is how you grow into your potential.

So I started over.

The cards have a new look – less art and less colour and more space.? The cards wanted to be quieter, which they think will help you use them to sink deeper into your own experience while journaling.

The old deck was a combination of prompt cards and inspiration cards.? The new deck is questions.? (The inspiration cards will be done as a separate deck – which might have more colour and artwork in them.)

While working on them, I feel free and clear.

While working on the first deck, I felt delighted a lot of the time.? And sometimes I felt frustrated and unsure.? Sometimes I felt exhausted.

Now, I just feel free and clear.? The process of making these cards is quite simple and fun – a sign that I’ve worked through the stuff I needed to work through.?? And I am delighted by how it’s coming together.

This is the ultimate aim of what I wanted to do with Grow Your Depth, Nurture Your Brilliance this year.? To be more present in my inner world, to meet my resistance and fears more effectively, to transform my inner patterns more quickly… to create more space for more of my creative brilliance to shine out into the world.

While the path does get frustrating sometimes, I’m pretty happy to be here.

A few weeks ago I stopped posting my weekly updates here on my blog – they’ve gone into some pretty personal stuff that I don’t want to share here, so for now I’m just posting them in our weekly sharing circles inside the Creative Dream Circle.

Instead, this week, I wanted to share an update on where I am with my Magic Journaling Cards.

This is a meeting I had with the heart and soul of the cards:

It’s a little (?) weird but this is how I stay consistently productive and get at my best creative ideas.

The heart and soul of my project shows up as disks of delight that want to fly out into the world.

I start by trying to look at what’s happening with the energy between me and it – what is our internal relationship like right now – but I can’t see anything.

A tiny sparkling fairy flies out of the disks and whispers “You’re so close to the finish line your logical self is trying to take over to handle all the details – it’s distorting the energy flow, the way logic tends to do.”

My logical self appears, wearing a suit and carrying a briefcase.? “We have a lot of details to attend to here.? I need to take over and handle this.”

“Oh no” my heart interjects “Surely even you can feel how special this project is.? The energies need to be aligned – heart to heart to heart. My heart, the project’s heart, the hearts of the people who will use the cards.? All decisions have to come out of that alignment.”

My logical self has lost this particular argument so many times that she just throws up her hands and says “Fine then.? Just get it done.”

Heart takes over.? “We’ll start by invoking the qualities of the cards.”

Insight.

Expansion.

Wisdom.

Delight.

Growth.

Creativity.

Magic.

Glee.

Discovery.

The qualities fill the space, ground our conversation and gently start to weave everything into alignment.? And I see it now.? Me.? The Cards.? The people who are going to use the cards. Perfect alignment.

It’s a clear, focused energy between me and the cards.? Concentrated.

Well yeah – years and years of exploration and study concentrated into the deck.? That’s what a good deck should be!? Concentrated.

Then the energy explodes from the cards out to the people.? Each person receives it in a different way, depending on what they want/need.? Just what a good deck should be!

OK, so this is all great.? But what’s stuck?

The fairy giggles.? “Why, you, of course!”

“Ha ha.? Of course.? A little help please?!”

The fairy takes me hand and flies me over to the cards.? “Let them grow.? Listen to them.? Let them tell you how they want to be.”

That’s when I realise that I’ve been trying to control this one part (the part I was stuck about!) and actually the cards want to be different from how I wanted them to be.? The cards show me what they want, and it’s kind of perfect.

This one part – the way that I was seeing the cards for myself as I was creating them – has to go completely.? The cards are showing me that it was a ladder, it got me to where I needed to be and I don’t need it anymore.

Kind of mind-blowing.? I thought that’s what the cards WERE but it was just a ladder.? Kind of amazing how much work I put into building a ladder that I was just going to discard, but if that’s what it takes, that’s what it takes.

Once I see it this way, everything is clear and I can get back to work giving the cards what they need.

I’m sitting here with a new thing that wants to go out into the world and WAY more questions than answers about how to put it out there.? Since I have a lot of clients who come to me with this very problem, I thought I’d write out my process here.

In this case it’s my Mandala Class, re-packaged as a 21 day self-guided e-course (currently you can only get this class inside the Creative Dream Circle).? The heart and soul of my business has been whispering to me for weeks to do this so I’m doing it.

It was easy enough to set it up as a 21 day course delivered via email, since I already had all of the class material done.

But now comes the hard part: putting it out there.

• I don’t know how I want to price it. (Actually that’s a lie, but more on that later)
• I don’t know how to market it. (Not quite a lie.? But not the whole story either.)

I start by connecting with the heart and soul of the thing.?? I set out a picnic blanket for us to settle in for what I am assuming is going to be a long conversation.

The heart and soul of the Mandala Class shows up as a mandala.? All star-like and sparkling and happy.

“So,” I say, “I actually do have this price in mind but it feels really confusing. I think I’m being too rigid or something.? Like my ego wants this price but it’s not the real price.? Or it is the real price but my inner critic thinks it’s too high.”

I sigh.? I really do hate this part sometimes.

The mandala says “You want the price that you want.? You’re also very concerned with offering high value for your people.? That’s cool.”? The mandala doesn’t seem to see that this is a problem.

“I feel like you are more connected to the people that this class will serve than I am.? What can you tell me about what the perfect price for them is?” I ask.

The mandala un-zips it’s smile (?) reaches in and pulls out a heart.? When the mandala hands me the heart, it explodes into thousands of tiny sparkling hearts.? I can’t hold them all.

I sit there, with one tiny sparkling heart in my hand.

And, surprisingly enough, this does tell me about the price that the people want.? The price that the people want worries me because it feels wrong to me, it feels like much, much less than the value of what the class has to offer.

Which is interesting, because I know that the price of the Creative Dream Circle is much, much less than what the Circle has to offer and that price feels good and sturdy and, well, perfect.

But now I am sitting here with two prices, feeling more confused than ever.

And then I realise that this other idea is bouncing around in my head and this could be complicating the value of the class.? I’m thinking I want to include one live phone call, so people can call in and ask me their questions, and do some mandala drawing in a group which is always magical.

And so the value of the class without the call would be different from the value of the class with the call so of course it feels wonky to try to figure this out without deciding for sure if I’m doing the call or not. Ha!

The heart and soul of my business interjects “Actually we really want to offer something simpler and smaller, something for the people who don’t want the class interaction stuff (there’s always lots of that in the Creative Dream Circle for people who want that) can we please keep this smaller and simpler?”

Oh, right.

So then I look at the number that is right between the two numbers.? Perfect compromise.

But it feels somehow less magical to me – like the two numbers each have something magical about them and this number just feels kind of plain.

I don’t want to offer something that feels plain to me.? I want to feel sparking and right about what I’m putting out into the world, and how I’m putting it out there.? So is there a number closer to this number that feels more magical?

Both the mandala and the heart and soul of my business perk up, as if to say “Finally! She’s getting it!”

“OK, it feels like you guys know what the number is, can’t you just tell me?” I ask, exasperated.

“We’d like to, but your doubts and confusion are clogging our communication channel.? But don’t worry, you’ll know it when you get there.”

Ugh, I do not like going around in circles like this.

I call in the heart and soul of clarity to join the picnic.? It shows up as a light in my heart that moves up to my third eye.

And a totally new number appears.? A larger number than the first number I? liked.? So I start re-watching the videos in the class and remember how amazing it is.

I want to pick the smaller number because I think more people will want it at a lower price.? Beneath that is a fear that no one will want it at the higher price.

I want to pick the larger number because I want to feel like the price is congruent with the value – this class has been just ridiculously helpful for so many people already!? Beneath that is the fear that people will think I charged too much.

Oh crap.? Both numbers are coming from fear.

What number doesn’t come from fear?? The new number, the one that clarity brought me.? The one that is higher than the one that already felt too high.? Ha.? No. I don’t feel good about this.

At this point I decide to put this down.? I pack up the picnic blanket, and schedule a meeting with the mandala and the heart and soul of my business for tomorrow.

I invite clarity to stay with me until then and help me melt through the doubt, fear and confusion.

I say a little prayer that once I find the price, figuring out how to put it out there will be a much simpler process.

A few minutes later, the price pops into my head.? It’s a totally new number and it feels totally right.

I put the blanket back out, and call the mandala and the heart and soul of my business to come back.? “OK then, let’s move on to step two: how do I want to put this out there?”

The heart and soul of my business says “It’s important that you do this in a way that feels good to you and is congruent with the core qualities of your business: trust, spirit, authenticity, creativity.? But what you do, like specifically, doesn’t matter.? Just having this be a part of your business is what matters, you don’t need some ideal launch plan or anything like that.”

The mandala says “I am just so happy to go out into the world!? Don’t forget that your mandala tutorial is the most visited page of your website.? Just put me there!? I mean tell your people about it too, but mostly just put me there! I want to be there!? And as you put your new journaling cards out there, more people are going to be interested in exploring Mandalas.? Put me there too.”

My inner Planny McPlanster pops up, clipboard in hand to say that I really should have a plan, like a detailed and elaborate plan – nothing guarantees success like a well thought out plan.? I give Planny a hug and a cookie and send him on his way.

Nothing guarantees success anyway.? But having my outer actions be in alignment with my inner self does guarantee that I’ll feel good about what I’m doing, which is all I really want.

So how do I do this in a way that feels good?

Well, I want to share this journaling – I think people will find it helpful to see this part, and not just see the part where I put it out there, all polished and done.? I’m not sure that really promotes the class much but it’s what I want to do.

• I do want to re-design the mandala tutorial page with links to this class.
• I want to re-write the Mandala Class page.
• I want to let people know about it – via email and blog.
• Find a place to add it to the main page of my website and on my blog.

So all that is what I want to do right now.? What else could I do?

I could:

• Mandala blog hop
• Some kind of “contest thing” to win the class
• Post more of my mandalas on Instagram with a link to the class

Actually it feels like there are a lot of ways I could promote it that would be fun and creative but I don’t want to do any of that right now.? I want to keep my energy focused on the Magic Journaling Cards I’ve been working on.

It feels really good to just have it be out there without making a huge deal about it.

So I can keep brainstorming this and do it another time – if/when I feel inspired to.

…. Coming back to this later.

I started working with this list:

• I do want to re-design the mandala tutorial page with links to this class.
• I want to re-write the Mandala Class page.
• I want to let people know about it – via email and blog.
• Find a place to add it to the main page of my website and on my blog.

And it just got more confusing and overwhelming so I put it away for a few days.

Yesterday I had a meeting with the heart and soul of the Mandala Class in my journal and asked for guidance and clarity.? Then I held those qualities in my energy field and went about my day.

By yesterday afternoon I felt ready to do it.

I sat down with my laptop and everything magically came together – which always happens after multiple meetings with the heart and soul of the thing I’m working with.

The Mandala tutorial page and the Mandala Class page were merged into one new page – with the tutorial and class information.? I love the new page.

I added “Draw Mandalas!” as a menu at the top of my website, which links to that page.

It feels welcoming and warm and bright and clear.

It feels in alignment with how I want to be.

It feels simple.

It feels right.

For the last two years or so, I’ve wanted to do some kind of tele-summit.? I’ve met tons of amazing people online who would be perfect guests and I could see that it would be a great way to grow my audience.

But I haven’t done it.

And every time I thought about doing it, it just somehow ended up at the bottom of my list.

Finally, last year I took some time to think about it because it really didn’t make sense to keep dragging it around at the bottom of my list of ideas.? I mean if I’m not going to do it, let it go, right?

Except, no.? Letting it go didn’t quite feel right even though a part of me was desperate to just stop thinking about this idea.

I was all tangled up about it.? I wanted to do it, but I was also sure that it was impossible.? I’m to introverted ad sensitive and easily exhausted.? I’m not “big” enough.? No one would come anyway, what’s the point?

So I used the Crazy Smart Wisdom Council tool in the Creative Dream Circle to help me get at my inner truth, unobscured by doubt and fear and sad, old stories about limitations and lack.

And my deep down inner truth is that this would be an ideal way for me to open the door wider to let more people into my world.

Which was kind of a surprise because I thought my inner truth would be that I’m too quiet and introverted to do that kind of thing and I should let it go.

Secretly I was hoping my inner truth would lead me to some other way of growing my audience, something that didn’t feel so scary.

Also, I was positive that if I didn’t do it in the way that everyone does it (being pretty pushy about sales towards the end of it with some crazy “buy now or the price doubles!” kind of thing) then it wouldn’t generate sales and it would just cost me a lot of time and money.

But our small selves lie a lot.

At that point, I wasn’t sure when or how I would do it, but I did decide that I would stop listening to my bullshit stories about how I can’t do this.

Fast forward to late last year, when the idea for Grow Your Depth found me.

Now, I am absolutely in love with Grow Your Depth, Nurture Your Brilliance and all of the miracles it’s going to generate for everyone over the course of the next year.

I am so lit up about this program.

I want to love and celebrate it in the way that it deserves to be loved and celebrated.

And THAT is when I saw the summit in a new light – as a beautiful and bright way of celebrating Grow Your Depth.? Instead of a hype-y “internet summit” I saw it as deep, meaningful conversations.

I felt it as a warm, open doorway to a whole new world of possibility.

Opening the doors and letting you into this amazing community of dreamers and magic-makers that I have discovered on the path to living authentically with my dreams.? And inviting you to explore the possibilities that are truly waiting for you.

So, this part is important: I let my love and enthusiasm for Grow Your Depth be the fuel for the tele-class series.

Too often, when you look at doing something that feels “big and impossible” you’re being fueled by a fear of failure, desire to prove your worth, or the idea that this is what you have to do to get to where you want to be, in a “grin and bear it” kind of way.

Your inner critic is the source of all of those fuels, and as long as your inner critic is fueling you, it’s going to be a bumpy road that is not likely to lead you to where you actually want to be.

When you can shift into allowing love, joy and enthusiasm be your fuel – you step into a totally different story.

Of course, you also need a strong and clear intuitive connection for guidance, which is why I always use the Crazy Smart Wisdom Council in the Creative Dream Circle – to help turn down the volume on doubt, fear and “doing it the way other people say I should” and turn up the volume on my own inner wisdom.

And you need practices that make it easier for you to trust your heart.? And community to support you and your dreams.? All the exact juicy stuff that is a part of Grow Your Depth was exactly what I needed to help me do this in a nurturing, supportive and fun way.

And then you can find nurturing, fun, safe ways to do the impossible thing.

That’s when I decided to let go of my original idea to do this as a “big thing” and instead to it at a size that felt comfortable and do-able to me.

That’s when I narrowed the list of potential guests to mostly people that I knew really well and felt comfortable with, plus a few people that I don’t know quite as well but felt really, really called to invite.

That’s when I saw how I could increase my self-care practices to not just replenish my energies – but stay inspired and happy and optimistic and really really enjoy the experience.

Oh, enjoyment!

See, I had thought that, because this thing felt impossible, that doing it would have to be hard.

And the truth is, I was CRAZY nervous before the first call.? Which is why I had picked Chris Zydel to be my first guest, because having her there made me feel less nervous.

By listening to my intuition and trusting my inspiration, I found that for everything that I thought would be a problem – I found a solution.

And I did get exhausted.? But then I rested and re-fueled.? (I’ve spent most of this weekend painting + sewing and have an Ayurvedic treatment booked for Tuesday to help replenish my energy)

And I also had a lot of fun and had a lot of really gorgeous moments.

I’m so happy and glad that I DID IT.? I did the impossible thing.

And now, the best part, is that I am a person who did this thing that she was sure that she couldn’t do.

That opens up so many more doorways for what I may do next!? Which is the best feeling ever.

It changes how I see myself.? It changes how I feel about myself.? It changes how I see the path in front of me.

Can you feel that?

Can you feel how finding an enjoyable and nourishing way to do the thing you think you can’t do changes your entire experience of yourself, your life and your possibilities?

Can you feel how learning how to heal and transform fear and doubt while learning how to take better care of your creativity and bolster your intuition and inner gifts will change your possibilities?

If you’ve got something you want to do that feels impossible, I want to invite you to join in me Grow Your Depth, Nurture Your Brilliance.? Together, we can find safe, creative and enjoyable ways for you to move forward into the life you want to be living.

We start Monday, January 19.? But you can join today and get instant access to all of my other courses and give yourself some time to settle into the Circle before we start this new adventure.

One year ago, I wrote a year in review for 2014 where I explored how I wanted to feel and what I wanted to have accomplished by the end of this year.

At that time, I had this clear and specific goal for what I wanted to do with my business, though pursuing that goal in 2014 led me to discover that I didn’t actually want it.

But when I look back at that year in review I wrote before the year started, I can see that I got all of the things that I REALLY wanted – all of the inner things that I had hoped reaching my goal would bring me.

Which is the perfect example of how your dream is a lighthouse that is leading you home.

Pursing that dream didn’t lead me to getting what I wanted on the outside, but it did lead me to feeling the way I want to feel and experiencing my life and business in the way that I want to experience them.

So it did get to me to exactly where I wanted to be.

I learned to trust myself to take care of myself, in a deeper way.? I can’t really put this one into words to explain how this feels.? Kind of like living on more solid ground.?

I trust myself to take care of myself, to do the things that fill me up and light me up and not feel like I need to deplete myself or do stuff I don’t want to do, in exchange for money or exchange for anything else.

I feel (finally!) integrated in the way of living that I know is right for me – to put self-care first, to keep the well full so I can do my best quality work.? And to trust this to sustain me, even when this looks like lots of picnics and bike rides and not a lot of work happening.

As a person raised in a home full of perfectionism and workaholism, this is quite revolutionary.

I feel quiet and peaceful on the inside.? Like my sense of inner peace grew to take up more space this year.

I turned forty. I stopped colouring my grey hair.? I traded my car for a bike.? I had adventures.? I deepened by creative practices.? I returned to a daily yoga practice.? I went from sewing sometimes, to sewing ALL of my clothes.? I started some big art projects and settled more fully into living in the dream loft and filling it up with my art.

And, obviously, I filled a few journals.

I’m really living the way I want to live and I can’t explain how grateful I am for this.

I mean, I’m still cranky some days.? I get angry and lonely and sad and frustrated and afraid.? Things happened that broke my heart and made me stop believing in myself.

And I deal with the crap and come back to center faster and faster.

And each time I work through that process, I am actually becoming more grounded in my center and so I have come to love and appreciate the cranky times for the un-describable gifts they contain.

In light of all of this, the fact that I didn’t reach my income goal for 2014 seems pretty small.

And the fact that my creative business did generate enough income for me to live the way I want to live in all senses of that and not just in the sense of being able to buy tons of crap, feels pretty fucking amazing.? It feels like success.

Financially – I didn’t go into debt.? I increased my savings – by a small amount, but still.? I’m calling it a win.

And the last few months of this year brought me to what I want for next year: Grow Your Depth, Nurture Your Brilliance.

I am wildly inspired and deeply terrified as I venture into this new project, which I have found is the exact place I want to be when creating something new – coming from my established strengths while stretching into new territory.

And deeply grateful for the Creative Dream Incubator which holds and sustains it all.? And deeply deeply grateful to each of you.

Wishing you all the best in 2015.

SHINE: Group Coaching for Coaches, Healers, Teachers & Helper-People of all kinds starts on Tuesday and there are still a few spots left.

SHINE is all about giving you right-fit support and guidance to move to the next stage of your journey as a Helper-Person.

The first time I ran this group, every single participant got what they wanted out of it.? There is deep magic in this group.

While it can feel like the market is already super-saturated and like other people are already doing what you want to do, the truth is the world needs each one of us!? Changing the world is not an easy task and we need all hands on deck.

So if you feel called to show up as a helper-person, as a coach or teacher, a healer or inspirationalist, then you are needed.? Absolutely.

I believe this very deeply which is why I am offering this program: to help you help more people.? To help you make your business more sustainable or successful or playful or whatever it is you need to do, to do your important work.

Read more & join us, right here.

Please note, because I keep getting asked when I’ll do this again: I will NOT be running this group again in 2014, and have a lot of other plans for 2015 so if I do run this again, it won’t be for some time.

Earlier this week I posted this on Instagram and Facebook:

What does success mean to you today? It’s good to keep refining your personal definition of success as you move forward.

And then my page turned into:

The most important elements of success for me right now are:

• spaciousness
• ease
• trust
• alignment
• authenticity
• flow

If I had to narrow it down to one, it would be spaciousness.? Spaciousness contains all of the things I really want.

I sat with this list for some time.? I doodled and collaged and explored.? And even though I am thinking specifically about success as a creative dream teacher and coach – money didn’t come to mind as a part of my definition of success.

I’m really happy to be in a place now where I don’t think about money a lot.

Not because I have so much I never have to think about it again, because I’ve build a solid relationship with money (Creative Dream Circle members: check out the Creative With Money Kit for more on how to do this).?

My life is simple and spacious and free which is what I want.? I have money for the things that matter to me.? And I don’t have a lot of things around that don’t matter.? I am a little surprised by how much money I used to spend on things that, as it turns out, don’t really matter to me.

I want quiet.? I want to make art and journal every day.? I want hours of empty time to fill however I feel inspired to fill them in the moment.? SPACIOUSNESS.

Though I also want creative projects and regular coaching clients.? I want to keep growing as a creative person and as a teacher and coach.

And I always want to make enough money to live in the way that feels true to me.? I suspect that as I get older that may mean needing more money and that feels like a part of my ongoing definition of success.

Creating your own definition of success means getting REAL with yourself about what you ACTUALLY want.

Your true success does not come from blindly adopting the uber-capitalist “more more more” mentality that we’re surrounded by.

But your true success also does not come from playing small.

It comes from playing just-right sized, which means facing and transforming your fear that you aren’t good enough (and we ALL have that fear) and transforming your bullshit stories about what is really possible for you.

It also means doing the ongoing work of knowing what right-sized even means for you.

Sometimes this is not easy work.? But you’re brave and you’re ready.

If you want to explore this with me, join SHINE Group Coaching for Coaches, Healers, Teachers & Helper-People,

There is a lot of magic to be found in exploring this in a group of creative kindreds who are also crafting their own unique paths to their own unique versions of SUCCESS.