I shared the post yesterday about exploring the pit of despair - I actually did that inner work in my practice last week, I just ran out of days to share it last week.

After that exploration, I had a bunch of really good days. I felt creative and powerful. I had some really good days, I felt like I made a lot of progress creatively... and now today is a bad day again.

I am so stuck today.

I don’t know why. I’m avoiding everything I want to be doing.

I have theories - that my nervous system is kind of shot and I just need a rest day. That I’m never very creative if I don’t get exercise and get out of the house in the morning and I am in the house today.

But it also feels like there’s something that I am not seeing.

So let’s go to the Un-Sticking Station.

I’m listening to it and I have SO MUCH RESISATNCE.

There is a part of me who just wants to be STUCK. Who wants to REVEL in being stuck.

I don’t want to be in the bubble of creativity, light and knowing in the meditation.

I want to lay on the floor and not move. I want to wail about how I can’t do the things I want to do.

I stay with the meditation but VERY half-heartedly.

The stuck shows up as snake around my shoulders and I notice that my shoulders are very tense.

Hi snake. What do you need?

To lay on the floor. Let’s lay down.

I lay down on the carpet. It’s a sunny day and I’m right in a sunbeam.

Oh yeah, this feels good, doesn’t it?

Well it does, but doing the things I wanted to do would feel good, too.

What if today isn’t a day for that?

I can’t keep not doing these things! I need to pay for our life! I need to do my work. Also I WANT to do the things I want to do!

The snake sees how stressful this is for me.

OK I have to admit I stopped this and went to scroll Facebook. I have SO MUCH RESISTANCE.

I’m back with the snake.

The snake really wants me to feel the feeling of the sun, feel warmed and comfortable in my body…

And then I start crying. 

And the snake slithers away saying - crying is flow. You’re in the flow now.

I have to remind myself sometimes: there were days like this before, too.

Pursing your dreams IS facing your fears and uncertainties and all the thing you would much rather avoid.

Some days are like this. Some day are crying on the floor.

This is a part of the work, too.

I hate it, but I keep sharing these days here because they happen to everyone who is showing up for their dreams. Only the people who avoid their dreams entirely can avoid ever having days where everything feels stuck.

 

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