Note: this post is from my daily Creative Dream Practice and includes links to the tools I use which are a part of the Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership. You need an active membership to access those tools. You are always welcome to join right here!

For the most part, I’m doing really well with my divorce. I’m meeting new people, joining new groups, trying new things, and marinating in the magic of living alone and not making any compromises.

And then sometimes, yes it’s lonely.

And sometimes the loneliness becomes more like this big sharp pain of longing for something that is not there, and I don’t see any way to get it.

It feels so helpless so I try to avoid the feeling...

But then this one time I was experiencing that sharp pain and decided to try to sit with it.

Try to figure out what my loneliness wanted even though what I wanted to do was just find a way to run away from it somehow.

Sitting with it was like visiting a part of me who is in quicksand. I was at the shore, wanting to help, but my lonely sell grabbed me and started pulling me in. I was holding onto the shore for dear life when a wiser self somewhere piped up and said “Let go”

Holding on felt impossible anyway, so I let go. Expecting to drown in quicksand…

But as soon as I stopped resisting it, it wasn’t quicksand anymore.

It was an energy field so powerful it held me and my lonely self up. It felt powerful like a forcefield and we were floating in it.

Floating in what though?

It didn’t feel like loneliness anymore.

Ohhh.

It’s my desire for connection and intimacy.

It’s powerful but also kind of formless.

Like - it’s still in the process of becoming.

It’s so hard to LONG for a thing but also not quite know what you want it to look/be/feel like.

This happens with lots of dreams.

And it makes it easy for doubts and fears to pop in and take over.

But when we can sit in the power of our own longing… wow that is something.

That sharp aching loneliness was gone. I felt expansive and trusting and settled in knowing that now is not the time to call this in.

I am going to practice sitting in this. And especially when loneliness creeps in I want to come back to this meditation, and move into this powerful field of longing.

 

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