I set a big goal for my business for 2014: to welcome 800 dreamers into my Creative Dream Circle. And to do this not by getting super pushy about selling – but to do this with heart and soul and creativity and joy and LOVE.

(you can read my original post about this here)

In support of this goal, I am writing weekly updates on Fridays, for all of 2014. This is where I’ll share the story of all the ups and downs of bringing a big dream to life.

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I spent some(?) time last weekend hanging out with fear.

I’m terrified of failing.? We are all.

And these fears are all stirred up because I’m doing something different.

I’ve never set this kind of goal in my business before.? I’ve been super grateful that I’ve learned how to put things out there in such a way that enough people respond that my needs are met.? That’s nothing to sneeze at!

I am well aware that I am in the minority on this.? I am very grateful for what I have.

And until now my business planning has stemmed from that gratitude -? I’m so happy I have students and clients and potential new clients, now what do I want to offer them next?

But now I want to do it differently.

And setting out to do something differently stirs up fear, stirs up inner critics, stirs up uncertainties.

I had a really beautiful chat with my friend Chris Zydel (the one I went to visit in California a few months back).? Chris reminded me that it doesn’t matter how I think it will be – it won’t be how I think it will be.

I’m feeling a desire to reach out in this way – this is my heart and soul calling me onto the next steps on my path… but this is the energy that is getting me moving, this is not necessarily what I am headed to.

The creative dream path is a mystery.? All we can ever do is step into what our hearts are calling us into.

Some dreams are easy.? Back in the olden days when I first started working with the tools I teach in the Creative Dream Incubator I wanted more money.? And I got more money – lots of it.

But a more meaningful life?? To share your gifts more widely with the world?? To step deeper into your purpose?? Not so cut and dry.

Being in this process is growing my soul in the ways that my soul needs to be grown at this time.

THAT is the gift, not whether or not I reach my goal.

Which, some days, drives me nuts.

Some days it makes me giggle.? I mentioned in the last update that I’d been working on my Strategic Action Plan.? This weekend I also made a brand new spreadsheet, to track the few things that I want to track from that plan.

I had to learn how to do spreadsheets on my iPad because I really wanted to do this in my iPad and not on my laptop.? This was kind of frustrating at first (WHY is Numbers for iPad so different to use than Numbers for MacBook? Geez!) …. I finally got the spreadsheet set up and put numbers in from the first week of January and then had to laugh – all that frustration and time and energy and I know that the numbers are not the point.

But the numbers are a part of the journey and I want to give love, respect and attention to every part of the journey.

And then facing the numbers activated how terrified I am of failing…. which brought me to some much needed inner work.

My fear of failing, like most of our deepest fears, remains deep beneath the surface most days – you wouldn’t even know it’s there.

These fears lurk deep down where we forget about them, and fuel inner critics and unconscious self-sabotaging mechanisms and hold us back without us even being aware that we are being held back.

I am reminded this week of how very important it is to develop the skill of being able to face and transform your feelings.

When fears come up to the surface that’s a good thing!? It means you get to work with them and, over time, transform them.

Fear means your path to liberation is opening up right in front of you.

But too often dreams DIE because people don’t want to face their feelings.

So I spent a lot of time in the Un-Sticking Station in the Circle which is literally an un-sticking station that un-sticks stucks like being terrified of failing.? (The Un-Sticking Station alone is worth the cost of the whole Creative Dream Circle – imagine having access to a QUICK process that actually transforms fears!)

Related: I did my first live streaming video!

It was all about how to approach journaling so that your journal becomes a tool for growing your dreams.

We talked A LOT about facing fears and how that all works so if you are feeling some fear or other discomforts when you think about your dream, or if you don’t believe you can have your dream – watch the replay.

Also: Holy CRAP!? I did LIVE STREAMING VIDEO ON THE INTERNET WHERE ANYONE COULD SEE!

My intuition, and many of my collages, have been nudging me towards this for a long time.

I do tons of live tele-classes.? And tons of recorded video.? But putting them together into one live video?? While that is the next logical step, it felt daunting, to say the least.

But, thanks to my willingness to step it up to meet my new goal, I listened to the nudges and did the live video.

And the live Creative Dream Journal Playdate was pretty awesome!? (The recording is still there so you can play along)

It’s really different being live on video.? Live on the phone means people have to be committed enough to actually call and they are generally really present.? Live online can mean you were committed enough to show up fully or it can mean you’ve for 16 windows open and are just cruising around, really just trying to distract yourself from whatever is happening inside you.

So I couldn’t really approach it the way I approach my calls.? Which is good!? Trying new things is good!

And it will take me a few times (at least?) to be truly comfortable with this.? Also good.? Stretching yourself when you feel inspiring to stretch yourself is good.

It’s got over 1,600 views already.? So this can really get my ideas out there in ways that tele-classes can’t.

On the other hand, 7,000 different people have visited my website in the last month.? I’d sure love for more of them to get more engaged with the process of growing their dreams!

I’ve put the Playdate on the Fabulous Free Stuff page so people can continue to find it.

And I’ve already scheduled more for next week and the week after.

So I started this week feeling terrified of failing.

I am ending this week feeling on top of the world.

I always love how I feel after I have done the work of facing/healing/transforming the icks that come up on the path.? I want to broadcast to the whole world that FEELING STUCK IS GOOD.? Facing the stuck is the path.? You’re SO READY to make your dream REAL.

The Circle feels like a MAGNET OF LOVE.

I love the Circle!? I love the members!? I love their dreams!

I am so excited about the new people joining.? I’m feeling really good about my goal for this year for the Circle and inspired about the other things I want to create in my business.

I am more connected than ever to heart and soul of this dream.

This is something I teach in depth in the Creative Dream Incubator e-course, how focusing on connecting with the heart and soul of your dream, rather than focusing on the externals of it – makes the external path easier.

It creates a beautiful energy that draws to your dream whatever it needs to thrive.

I’ve been focusing on this for about a month now and am really feeling it now.

It’s an amazing energy and it feels like it is really nurturing ME because I am working MUCH harder than I normally do, but feeling super happy, energized, inspired and not cranky/tired/other icky things I associate with working “hard”.

And this week I announced the next session of the Creative Dream Incubator e-course, happening inside the Circle, starting Jan 28.? I want to invite you to think about joining us.? This is my fourth year of running this course and I know it’s going to be our best session yet.

It includes the Creative Business Incubator plug-in, I’ll be super active in the forum answering your questions and cheering you on and at the end of the 6 weeks we’ll close off with a live coaching call (if you can’t attend live you can email me your questions and so you can hear the answers in the recording).

The Incubator is magic.? You will ADORE it.

PLUS you’ll also get whole year of creative dream support.? For just $100!