I woke up feeling so grateful for my life.

The older I get, the trippier life gets and I am so here for this.

I've been reflecting on this last year but also this last decade, since this is my last year in my 40s. And then looking ahead to this new year but also this new decade I'll be starting. My 40s were so different from my 30s and I look forward to my 50s being completely different again.

I sincerely hope that this is my mid-point and I have 50 more years here. The older I get, the more attached I am to this life, and this world. I don't believe that death is THE end, but it is the end of this particular experience and I am just really attached to this one. This whole world is such a miracle.

I can't even explain how grateful I am to past-me for all of the hard work and risks she took to build the life I get to enjoy today.

I don't think of myself as a business owner or creative entrepreneur anymore.

Since I was 20 my art was about encouraging all of us to believe in our ourselves and our dreams because I desperately wanted to find a way to believe in myself and my dreams. I felt called, strongly, to be my most authentic self but I had no map showing me how to do this. Following this calling lead me to become a spiritual teacher, and develop my skills as a facilitator and healer. Bringing this all together into a business that could support me meant I could further deeper and expand my gifts because it was my full time thing.

And at this point, after over 12 years of doing this as my full time thing, it feels like the Creative Dream Incubator is less a business I run and more a sturdy supportive foundation for me to live my life as my true self, which is what's at the core of all creative dreams.

So going forward, I think of myself as an artist, writer and mentor.

This changes how I see myself, how I create routines, set goals, and move projects forward.

All in, I spent four years developing my Dream Book program and the Creative Dream Alchemy processes that it draws from to navigate the inner and outer work of following our inner callings. I created that map I needed when I was younger.

Online business people talk about building programs like this in order to scale up, but for me it's not about that. It's about having a study container, and not having to re-build it each time with each group. The people who have been with me in Dream Book for years keep going deeper and deeper. It's such a beautiful space - not so much for me to "scale up my business" but for people to go deeper and be braver with their dreams and to navigate all of the healing and growth this entails.

I don't have the words to explain how grateful I am to have this container to help me with what I want to do in my 50s.

(If you're not in Dream Book yet, join us here! You deserve this magic and support too)

The last few years have been hard. But here, today, turning 49, I feel like I have come back to myself, and I have come back to my strengths, and I just want to live the fuck out of whatever years I have ahead of me.