This realisation came to me over a few days and then it felt like it sunk down deep and changed everything about how I see myself and my life.
I have been so impatient!!
Why?
Impatience is immaturity. Maybe I am being immature about some things.
Impatience is… a lack of patience. I mean obviously. But why did patience leave the room? What caused the lack? I don’t think it was always there.
I think under all of that, impatience is not wanting to be where I am.
You know how Creative Dream Alchemy is: The art + magic of meeting yourself where you are and moving towards where you want to be?
There is an art to finding the balance between being where you are and moving towards where you want to be.
Trying to not be where you are (while once in a while that CAN kind of leap-frog you into your dream) usually just leaves you stumbling on the path because you are not looking at your feet and what kind of terrain they are on.
And yeah we all love to dream!!! We love to focus on what we want to create.
But life is also life-ing.
And I feel like, in a bunch of different ways, life just dumped me in this place where I never intended to be.
Is there wisdom in that?
Yes, I think so.
Like - I never consciously intended to get divorced AND this divorce process has shown me a lot of things that did want to learn and I don’t think I could have learned them a different way.
Related: I AM TRYING TO DO TOO MUCH.
I get overwhelmed and can’t do all the things I meant to do, so I just…. keep trying. I judge myself for not doing all the things I meant to do.
Since I also keep reflecting every week in the Dream Status Reports, and every month in the New Moon Intention Setting Calls (which you can get even if you’re not in the membership, right here) of course eventually I am going to see that I am stuck in a pattern here.
It’s funny to me how long it took for me to see it, especially since it comes up SO MUCH in my coaching work: Usually we go faster (in terms of making progress on our dreams) when we slow down and take smaller steps.
Creative people have BIG VISIONS and tend to want to take BIG STEPS, so even what feels like “baby steps” might actually be too big.
It’s funny that it took so long to see it AND… of course it did! This is what it’s like.
Understanding everything I do about the process of Creative Dreaming, having so much experience with my own process and helping others through theirs, doesn’t mean I avoid the pitfalls! It just means I don’t get as lost in them and don’t give up because of them.
(And all we ever have to do is NOT GIVE UP)
So… what if I am more patient and do less? What might that look like?
Right now it would look like cleaning up. The whole loft needs a good tidy and it would feel so good to do it! Put on music, and focus on creating a nice space for myself.
And then.... I need to keep sitting with this question.
The idea of REMOVING IMPATIENCE from my process feels SO magical. Especially since I hadn't realized how much impatience there is around me. It's like the fog clearing when you didn't even know it was foggy.
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