I am having one of the days I have been DREAMING of.

I woke up feeling alert and happy and excited to start my day. No convincing myself to get moving, no laying in bed as long as possible. I felt genuine joy to get up and get the day started.

It's not that I have been unhappy, I've just been overwhelmed. I am probably burnt out. I wonder if we all are?

But the little shifts I made to my routine, which feel so big and like I've changed my whole life, are really what I need.

I fed my cat, made coffee, and put on my headphones with music that is a cross between meditation music and mellow dance music.

I danced. I drew. I painted. I wrote. It felt like a moving meditation.

I feel like I am re-connecting with ME and all of the magic inside.

I have been wanting to have more time for unstructured/unfocused art making for a long time.

Like even just 1-2 hours a day. Which I DO have time for, but I don't always have ENERGY for, especially since I have been prioritizing other things.

I was thinking that I had to get other things done first... but actually, I think I've been scared.

The "what if I'm not good enough" which leads to "Like really, what if I give this my all and I find out I just suck?" which sends me down a deep spiral of "And then how will that feel, to know I am not good enough? Doesn't it feel better to keep putting this dream off to the future"

I wanted to keep this AS AN OPTION. And I know that if I take a chance on it, it may not work out like I want it to.

These words feel so trite but the feelings are intense and this can keep us from doing what we want to do with our lives.

So we do need to be gentle with ourselves! Find the little ways in. Keep practicing.

Because logically - by doing the thing that lights me up FIRST, I will have MORE energy and then can also do the things I need to do. But my inner critics don't care about facts.

 

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