Even though I still have LOTS of stucks to un-stick, I am really feeling in the flow.

I am taking steps and making measurable progress and growing in my connection with my dream self who has completed this project.

And as I was working this morning I thought - oh this was such a FRUITFUL time.

Then, riding my bike home, I thought about the word fruitful and how I love it. I never really use it but I really embodies the qualities of what I want my creative time to be…

And then it hit me - I want to replace productive with fruitful.

I don’t want to be or feel productive. I don’t want to figure out how to make myself be more productive… which I have done a lot of in my life.

I want my creative time to be fruitful.

This feels more like a ripening.

An opening.

A blossoming even!

And less like a factory production line.

Productivity is one of the things I have been… struggling with? Exploring? Trying to transform? … since the start of the pandemic when overwhelm kind of took over.

I love how it feels to complete projects. I love putting my work out there. I depend on putting my work out there to support myself. I love how it feel to be in the creative flow…

But I have not been loving the whole vibe around “productive”

So, replacing that with fruitful feels really good. Like maybe some stuff can untangle on its own and I can bear more fruit without feeling like a factory worker.

Ohhhh

For people who have been reading my blog a verrrrrry long time, early in the Creaive Dream incubator's history I had this metaphor I worked with that was the creative dream factory.

And it wasn’t loads of workers working for piecework and needing to work as fast as possible or anything like that. It was a big spacious cool creative dreamy space for me to work in, with robots who took my ideas and helped turn them into, I don’t remember exactly, the stuff that runs the business I guess.

There were big bean bags and art supplies everywhere. Lots of permission to nap and dream.

But still, it was a factory and we were producing dreams.

And I’m not saying that was wrong! It was such a helpful way for me to see my work at the time.

But now I want the Creative Dream Incubator to be a meadow.

Things can blossom and bear fruit. So much fruit!

But some things also die.

Some things take long breaks for the winter.

It just feel more organic.

AND it feels like it answers a lot of my questions about how I want to be with my work. Like, I don’t want to go back to my pre-pandemic self. Not that I could I if I wanted to.

Same for my married self.

But who am I now and who is the Creative Dream Incubator now and how to we work together in service of dreams?

Some parts of that are obvious and fully functioning.

But there is always room for growth and change and new possibilities.

This just feels really good.

 

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