I started using the weekly journaling kits for STRUCTURE but it’s also giving me some vibes (each week has a different quality and mantra) and some different ways to consider how I am working with my dreams (each week has a journaling prompt about that).

I forgot how MAGIC these kits are when you spend time with them every week because they are a way of making space for insights to emerge.

So this is the insight I had this week:

I have struggled with staying on track with certain goals because I am coming at them from a place of DETERMINATION.

What if I came at it from LOVE?

When I am fueled by determination, I can show up for a while but it gets so tiring. And then it gets boring. And then I wonder… do I REALLY even want this? And I definitely do want it, but I don’t like the process and eventually I stop showing up.

And “‘determination” really is plugged into self-improvement 🤮 and all the says dominant culture encourages us to accomplish external things in order to be proven worthy, instead of validating that fact that each of us is inherently worthy.

This is a part of a bigger shift I am in.

Brought on by so many things.. my age, peri-menopause, the way the world is changing as late-stage capitalism starts to fail, things I am learning about my self after 30 years of working on self discovery… I am in-plugging from so many “learned” ways of being to embrace my most authentic ways of being.

This is what I’ve been doing for 30 years already!!! So I’ve made loads of progress and it can feel so frustrating to see the places where I have work to do.

AND some of the places where I am still plugged in are starting to feel SO FUCKING UNCOMFORTABLE and it feels URGENT that I do something about it.

So. This clue - being fueled by love instead of determination - feels so important.

And it’s funny because people in Dream Book are always telling me how much they appreciate my approach which is SO MUCH driven by love and soul, especially compared to other approaches out there.

But there is a next level and it’s time to look for it.

How do I LOVE MYSELF and LOVE MY FUTURE enough to stay on track with these goals?

Which is not a question to answer right away. It‘s a question to sit with over time. To be with all of my different responses and reactions to it.

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