First of all, Working With Conflicting Feelings is a class we are doing on Sept 20! (Dream Book members, details are here)
When I plan calls, I am working with the soul of the Creative Dream Incubator and the feedback I'm getting from people about where they're at and what would be helpful.
This call just seemed helpful in these wild times, but now things have changed in my life in a way that I am consistently holding space for conflicting feelings for myself, and am so happy to be doing this in a group later on this month.
So today in my practice I am naming all of the feelings I am feeling:
Noticing their shape and texture and where they are in my body. Being curious about where and how they intersect.
One of the shitty things about holding space for our feelings is having to actually feel them.
This is not actually that bad in reality, but our minds make up so many stories about how awful it is to feel a feeling, that it becomes so hard to stay with it.
What if a feeling is just a feeling? What if we let it express how it wants to?
It's the HOLDING IN, especially with conflicting feelings that keep hitting up against each other inside us like a pinball, that is harmful.
Human emotion is so rich. Letting it be what it is creates space inside us for new possibilities, which helps with the work outside of us.
As I drew out my feelings in my journal and explored what they were doing in my body, everything started to feel more calm. This is emotional alchemy.
Today I am feeling:
- Hopeful: a light in my heart shining out (which can sometimes dim a lot depending on what other feelings are floating around it, but it's always there)
- Rage: sharp edges, burning hot
- A tiny spark of optimism
- A pool of sadness it feels like it might be infinitely deep
- More rage, but this rage is melting into sadness
- Excitement for the future: a star that bounces around offering healing to everything it touches
- My trust in perfect timing: just kind of floating out there
- Inspiration and creative magic: sparkling around, it's actually permeating everything when I look close enough
- My trust in emotional alchemy is a foundation to rest on
- My faith in myself and the process of life: a field of wildflowers in bloom
- Swirls of confusion: mostly swirling in my brain but flow throughout my body too
- Bits of hurt feelings: small but with sharp edges, floating around and sometimes bumping into things and causing everyone pain
Apart from the obvious external obstacles, it's not being able to be with our feelings that holds us back the most.
AND of course, it's BECAUSE of the external stuff that being with our feelings can be so hard!!!! The more childhood trauma you had, the crueler the world has been to you, the more sensitive you are, the harder it is to make space for your feelings.
I say that to say - it's not your personal failing that this work is hard. You haven't done anything wrong.
You live in a culture that makes it harder than it needs to be, to feel your feelings.
So even just thinking about this is really brave work.
Dream Book members:
Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.
Get your next Dream Book lesson.
Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.
Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.
Note: This is a post about my daily practice with my Creative Dreams - in these posts I often link to the tools, courses and processes I use which are only available to Dream Book members. If you're not a member, find out more + join us here.