I was taking a bath and thinking about why things have been feeling SO HARD. I’ve been really anxious, and having a harder-than-usual time of managing my anxiety for the last few weeks.

And you know what? Sometimes it's like I forget how fucked up things are. I'm trying so hard to just go on in my little life I forget about these brutal times we are living through.

I have not recovered from the pandemic, in terms of my mental health and cognitive functioning

AND I’m in perimenopause, which has been hard for me. AND now we can add on top of that getting a divorce that I hadn’t seen coming. And at the same time navigating my step-son’s sudden life-threatening illness. AND record inflation! Becoming single didn’t just double my cost of living, my mortgage was renewed (yikes!) and condo fees went up considerably too. Along with everything else increasing.

So that’s four pretty major things, all happening on top of each other. Or colliding with each other. JUST IN MY OWN LIFE.

But what about when I peek outside my life? We've never had wars and genocides be LIVE STREAMED like this before. This is traumatizing all around. And the brutal police response to protests in the US.

I keep seeing people complaining in my city about how all the homeless shelters are full of asylum seekers and there's no room for Canadians. I really don't think it's radical to say - everyone deserves a safe space to live. And having these conversations in the backdrop of so many empty buildings downtown since most offices never went back to 100% in-office work AND so many businesses closed....

Our political and economic systems continue to fail. It's such a long, slow, traumatizing and expensive collapse.

This is the world we are dreaming in.

I wonder why I am anxious?

There are moments when I feel such incredible peace and trust it’s amazing.

And most of the time I still believe that a better future is inevitable - both for me in my life and for all of us collectively.

AND managing anxiety takes more work right now.

I don’t believe that putting our creative dreams aside is a good plan.

I have the new dream I have talked about - getting an RV or camper and traveling with my cat Bear. This feels like TOO MUCH to contemplate actually DO in the near future, but dreaming of it happening a little further down the road is SO sweet. And I need sweetness. And the question: How do I set myself up to make this work financially? feels expansive whereas the question: How do I make more money to survive record inflation that is actually just un-checked corporate greed? feels panicky.

Creative dreaming is nourishing and generative.

And we need more nourishing and generative when things are hard!

I also have this other dream I haven’t shared details of yet. But that’s something that I do plan to start doing this year - taking baby steps anyway. It feels creative and expansive and energizing to think about and plan for.

I am so excited to get everything in place to start taking those baby steps.

This excitement and enthusiasm can coexist with the hard stuff, and bring more joy.

We deserve more joy. Always. But especially in the hard times.

If I put this new dream off until I felt ready - I would just be delaying joy.

MUCH NEEDED joy.

And our creative dreams can show us new possibilities for how to live.

Creative Dreams open doors that we can't see from where we are right now.

So, if there is something you are putting off, can I please encourage you to dive in now?

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