How To Do Inner Work | Adventures In Getting Unstuck

Holding space for conflicting feelings

By / /

First of all, Working With Conflicting Feelings is a class we are doing on Sept 20! (Dream Book members, details are here)

When I plan calls, I am working with the soul of the Creative Dream Incubator and the feedback I'm getting from people about where they're at and what would be helpful.

This call just seemed helpful in these wild times, but now things have changed in my life in a way that I am consistently holding space for conflicting feelings for myself, and am so happy to be doing this in a group later on this month.

So today in my practice I am naming all of the feelings I am feeling:

Noticing their shape and texture and where they are in my body. Being curious about where and how they intersect.

One of the shitty things about holding space for our feelings is having to actually feel them.

This is not actually that bad in reality, but our minds make up so many stories about how awful it is to feel a feeling, that it becomes so hard to stay with it.

What if a feeling is just a feeling? What if we let it express how it wants to?

It's the HOLDING IN, especially with conflicting feelings that keep hitting up against each other inside us like a pinball, that is harmful.

Human emotion is so rich. Letting it be what it is creates space inside us for new possibilities, which helps with the work outside of us.

As I drew out my feelings in my journal and explored what they were doing in my body, everything started to feel more calm. This is emotional alchemy.

Today I am feeling:

  • Hopeful: a light in my heart shining out (which can sometimes dim a lot depending on what other feelings are floating around it, but it's always there)
  • Rage: sharp edges, burning hot
  • A tiny spark of optimism
  • A pool of sadness it feels like it might be infinitely deep
  • More rage, but this rage is melting into sadness
  • Excitement for the future: a star that bounces around offering healing to everything it touches
  • My trust in perfect timing: just kind of floating out there
  • Inspiration and creative magic: sparkling around, it's actually permeating everything when I look close enough
  • My trust in emotional alchemy is a foundation to rest on
  • My faith in myself and the process of life: a field of wildflowers in bloom
  • Swirls of confusion: mostly swirling in my brain but flow throughout my body too
  • Bits of hurt feelings: small but with sharp edges, floating around and sometimes bumping into things and causing everyone pain

Apart from the obvious external obstacles, it's not being able to be with our feelings that holds us back the most.

AND of course, it's BECAUSE of the external stuff that being with our feelings can be so hard!!!! The more childhood trauma you had, the crueler the world has been to you, the more sensitive you are, the harder it is to make space for your feelings.

I say that to say - it's not your personal failing that this work is hard. You haven't done anything wrong.

You live in a culture that makes it harder than it needs to be, to feel your feelings.

So even just thinking about this is really brave work.

Come dream with us
Dream Book members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

Note: This is a post about my daily practice with my Creative Dreams - in these posts I often link to the tools, courses and processes I use which are only available to Dream Book members. If you're not a member, find out more + join us here.

Share
Print
Email
Tweet
Pin

Holding space for conflicting feelings Read More »

Outer Work + Feeling Hopeful For Our Future

By / /

I didn't do much in my practice today, a quick check-in with my Dream Book (which I am still LOVING having it together with my planner, so I checked in with both to see how I'm doing with my plans for the week) and then I felt ready to GET TO WORK on the guided journal project.

I see the end in sight and really want to get there ASAP.

But I did keep thinking about our Co-Dreaming call on Monday and how hopeful I felt at the end, and what we can do to feel optimistic about our future - like the future of humanity.

It takes a lot of work to feel optimistic about ourselves and our own lives, but that work is necessary for any dream work to happen. So how do we translate that to the world? I did a bunch of writing about it, which is not ready to share, but it's coming 🙂

Come dream with us
Dream Book members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

Note: This is a post about my daily practice with my Creative Dreams - in these posts I often link to the tools, courses and processes I use which are only available to Dream Book members. If you're not a member, find out more + join us here.

Share
Print
Email
Tweet
Pin

Outer Work + Feeling Hopeful For Our Future Read More »

Radiating the qualities: Marketing as a Creative + Spiritual Practice

By / /

I wanted to draw the Marketing as a Creative + Spiritual Practice practice. The ball of light and all the things it radiates out into the world.

And I wanted to leave space to keep adding things, keep sitting with this idea/question: what is it that I am offering?

I am in LOVE with all the ways this practices has changed how I do things in my business. That I now share my daily posts openly on my blog. That I now do a free call on Mondays. I feel like I am inviting people in to the world of the Creative Dream Incubator and giving them enough so they can know if they want to come in further, I don't have to promote things.

Not that promoting, or selling, are wrong! This just feels more aligned and sustainable for me right now. And that's what approaching marketing as a creative and spiritual practice will lead you to - what is aligned and right and doable for YOU as well as what delights your people.

Can't wait for next week's Marketing as a Creative + Spiritual Practice call to keep exploring!

Come dream with us
Dream Book members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

Note: This is a post about my daily practice with my Creative Dreams - in these posts I often link to the tools, courses and processes I use which are only available to Dream Book members. If you're not a member, find out more + join us here.

Share
Print
Email
Tweet
Pin

Radiating the qualities: Marketing as a Creative + Spiritual Practice Read More »

Checking in with my guided journal project

By / /

I've been working on the artwork for the guided journal project and it's such a BIG project.

I'm at a point of feeling disconnected from it, like I am focused on small details, and I lost sight of the big picture.

So I am using the Dream Lab practice to invite in the soul of my guided journal.

The field of Creative Dream Alchemy is BUZZING with energy. It feels like being in a disco ball. Healing, transformation and creativity are all turned all the way up.

I can't quite relax into it, it does feel like a disco, so I dance with it. Sitting in my meditation, I am swaying my whole body and it feels like movement is allowing new possibilities in.

Then the guided journal dances in. It's glowing and it wants to be known as the Creative Dream Playbook.

It's thick and colourful.

It's grateful for all of the explorations I have done around the artwork, for the ways it's all coming together.

It puts it's hand on my head and says "I'm fine. You need to take care of you. You feel doubt about if you're doing good enough. I promise you are."

So... into the Un-Sticking Station with the doubt.

It feels like we're connected to the disco from the Field of Creative Dream Alchemy, but we're in some kind of chill room.

Doubt is a dot on the floor. Like, it has arms and legs but it's body is a dot.

I sit down beside it.

"Ooooofff! I worked so hard on this and maybe it's all crap!"

Why do you say that?

"Because of how I feel when I look at it"

OK, I'm going to go get my tablet, let's take a look at it together.

OK yeah, a few things feel "meh" but THIS IS A DRAFT. My plan was to do all of the hand lettering with artwork, AND THEN go through it all. The "meh" stuff is all style choices that can change! But the bulk of the work - this is gorgeous.

The dot is now.. like a ball. Like the dot was deflected and now it's inflated. It's happy. It's leaving the chill room and going to the disco.

And I am getting to work on this artwork!

Update: Turns out the doubt I was feeling was ambivalence around some of the artwork part - and once I simplified my ideas for that, everything flowed again!

Come dream with us
Dream Book members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

Note: This is a post about my daily practice with my Creative Dreams - in these posts I often link to the tools, courses and processes I use which are only available to Dream Book members. If you're not a member, find out more + join us here.

Share
Print
Email
Tweet
Pin

Checking in with my guided journal project Read More »

A tidal wave is coming for me

By / /

Last weekend I was in an Un-Sticking Station meditation and couldn’t find the thing to focus on/invite in.

There was too much happening inside me to be able to focus on any one thing.

So I did my best to just stay with all of the sensations in my mind and body and then I felt it:

There is a tidal wave of healing coming at me.

This last month it feels like SO MANY PIECES fell into place. The ways I’ve been healing and recovering from how the early pandemic experience flattened me, and all the ways I have explored all the things that got stirred up in that process…

All of that somehow came together and I’ve been feeling renewed. So excited about my life. Like things are opening up. My creative, work and self care routines feel so solid and nourishing. 

It’s like I stepped up, and this stepping up unleashed a tidal wave.

I don’t understand it.

I’m just trying to be with it.

So today I am meeting the tidal wave in the Un-Sticking Station.

It’s huge. It could absolutely destroy me.

I’m just standing here, looking up at it, undefended. Kind of curious about how “undefended” is how I feel. 

The total wave speaks: “There is no way to defend yourself from me. I’m here. I’m unimaginably huge. There is no where to escape.”

And yet, right here in this moment, I don’t feel in immediate danger from the wave. It’s frozen in front of me.

So I sit down. Spread out a picnic. Offer it a cup of tea. It accepts, and these little arms come out of the wave, to pour little sips of tea into it.

“Oh that’s nice, Earl Grey?”

“Yes, I’ve been putting a bit of my homemade lavender syrup in it.”

“So good”

“So, is this the practice? To practice being undefended in the face of you? To offer you tea?”

“I”m still coming for you. It’s not an attack, it’s just a happening.”

“But as I sit here, you don’t seem as ominous or scary. It seems almost purposeful? And I remember how UNDEFENDED is the term that came to mind about how I feel and that seems like it’s about how there is nowhere to hide, and no way to impact what is coming…”

Which makes me think of the ways I (and all of us!) can avoid inner work even while doing inner work. The places where we won’t go. The parts we don’t see.

A tidal wave implies the loss of the ability to do that. Scary but also - "next level" in a good way.

I offer the wave the rest of my cookies and let it know I’ll be back to visit tomorrow, if it’s still here.

Come dream with us
Dream Book members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

Note: This is a post about my daily practice with my Creative Dreams - in these posts I often link to the tools, courses and processes I use which are only available to Dream Book members. If you're not a member, find out more + join us here.

Share
Print
Email
Tweet
Pin

A tidal wave is coming for me Read More »

Where do I even start. Waking up to dark clouds, heavy fog and a brain that won’t turn on.

By / /

I write every day, Monday - Friday, about my own process of navigating the path between where I am and where I want to be.

I share these in the Daily Miracle Mastermind Posts inside the Dream Book community. I believe that showing HOW I walk my talk each day is one of the best ways of teaching.

Lately some of these posts have been asking to be shared out in public - which feels even messy and awkward for me, but here I am, following my inner nudges and seeing where it leads.

Where do I even start?

I have a practice of meeting myself where I am and moving towards where I want to be, but today...

Everything is just heavy and cloudy, with small bits of sharpness.

I want to leap into a story about WHY I feel these things. (get into my head and out of all of these feelings)

Instead I will meet myself where I am.

When I'm so heavy/cloudy/foggy it's like brain is covered in a fog blanket and it's hard for me to figure out HOW to meet myself where I am.

But all I have to do is be here.

I say hello to the heavy clouds and my brain that feels shut down.

The heavy clouds sparkle a little, like they've just been waiting to be acknowledged.

I spread out a picnic blanket and invite them to join me.

Which reminds me - I have a delivery coming today of spherical ice cube molds and Instant Pot accessories including an egg bite maker, and I want to have a lot of iced coffee + egg bite picnics in the park with my journal this summer.

Which reminds me - it's been so cold and rainy, a lot of my usual spring activities are not really happening, and this is depressing.

Oh. Ok. Back to the task at hand. Inviting the dark cloud to sit down and talk.

It hovers above the blanket.

It looks darker than it did, and I can see tiny lightnings in it.

"So, dark cloud, how are you doing?"

"I'm fine. I'm being who I am. It's you who seems to have a problem. You don't want me here."

"Well, it's uncomfortable, I feel pretty weighed down by your presence."

"How can I help you feel more comfortable with me here?"

I am speechless. I don't have a way to be comfortable WITH the dark cloud. I do just want it gone.

"So you invited me to sit down for a picnic as you it's going to be a good time, but you only want to destroy me?"

I am giggling at the idea of a "picnic of destruction".

But also, yeah. I don't know how to engage with this thing. It's like I can either let it control me, or I try to destroy it. I don't see any other way.

But if I remember that all of my feelings are valid, and that one part of the path to any dream is to feel the feelings that come up on that path, then I do believe that there is another way.

BUT I still don't see it.

I offer the cloud an egg bite, it happily receives.

Oh! Those extra-dark spots in the cloud and the tiny lightnings, they go off when the cloud is happy and doing it's thing. I experience them as menacing but that's not how it is for the cloud. That feels helpful to know.

"So, what? Do we just sit here and eat egg bites?"

"That's what a picnic is, right?"

"Well, I guess I was hoping for more. I was hoping we could come to an agreement where we could each have our needs met. I mean I know I just said I don't know how to do this, but still I do think that would be ideal."

The cloud reaches for some iced coffee.

"Is this just all on me? I have to change my relationship to you? I mean, if I was using the Un-Sticking Station, which I do NOT feel prepared to do, I would look for ways to offer you love."

"That's what you've been doing. You made a picnic. I've got egg bites and iced coffee. Maybe you should look for ways to offer yourSELF love as well?"

Haven't I been doing that?

It's so hard to work through anything with the dark clouds here. It's so hard to feel progress and clarity.

So I can accept that this is not a day for progress-that-can-be-seen or clarity-of-any-kind?

This makes my heart kind of jump. Like - how long will I be this way?

What about trusting the process, another one of the Principles of Creative Dream Alchemy.

If I was trusting the process, I would meet with my dream.

OK, I can do that, invite my dream to this picnic with the dark cloud.

(I go lay on the floor, and my car Bear snuggles in beside me, and we invite my dream to join us)

My dream had been appearing as a cartoon blue butterfly, and last week it transformed into realistic butterfly wings for me to wear and BE the dream.

Today it showed up as the wings, floating above me. It's not a day to wear the wings, but they are still here.

The wings showed me that they can be an umbrella, if the cloud starts to rain.

But mostly they are here to be a blanket-that-forms-a-cocoon.

And they wrapped around me.

And it felt like a cocoon.

Like there's a lot going on. I have a lot of layers of uncomfortable feelings and I can't tell any one thing from the others and that's ok, I am in the process.

Today is a day for gentle cocooning and allowing things to work through.

While nothing feels resolved, I don't feel so tangled up now. I feel trusting and ok with slowing down and being where I am.

Pin
Share
Print
Email
Tweet

Where do I even start. Waking up to dark clouds, heavy fog and a brain that won’t turn on. Read More »

Wild Untamed Creativity vs The Part Of Me Who Wants To Control Everything

By / /

I am exploring the question: What helps me make more art, more often, from a deeper place?

I've gotten stuck most days, and in doing the Un-Sticking work I met with inner teenaged/early 20s selves. It's pretty rare for me that they show up, when it's an inner child it's usually much younger.

They're so sarcastic and annoyed at everything and JUDGEMENTAL!

But also, something really deep has shifted for me.

Those little conversations reverberate, things keep happening throughout the day, it's not over after my 10 minutes of sitting with it.

What's been happening now is me seeing my life now from my 17-25 year old perspective.

Hey! Look at what I did! Look at what I have!

I feel so proud of me.

And so excited to be where I am, with all of the SPACE I have to create what I want to create.

What also struck me is: I was not very sensitive at that time.

My teenaged-25 self is so annoyed and horrifying by me having so many FEELINGS and how those feelings can stop me from doing what I want to do.

She never experienced that.

As I've been sitting with that it's clear - she was so disconnected from her feelings that she experienced this all the time but didn't know it! In her experience, she was blocked by other things.

I am so much more powerful now.

Not being all filled up with un-processed feelings means I can face those other things in the way more effectively. AND it means that sometimes I do spend a lot of time processing feelings because that IS the path.

Even though most days I would be very tempted to trade emotional sensitivity for the ability to carry on functioning in the ways I want to while the world falls apart - I wouldn't REALLY make the trade.

Anyway - I woke up this morning feeling SO happy and grateful.

As I though about the question I am exploring - What helps me make more art, more often, from a deeper place? - I see something that was keeping me stuck with this:

I was looking for a way to be really organized and... I don't even know how to describe it... like always know what I am doing, follow very specific steps, like map it all out and then follow the path.

But that's not how art works.

The specific steps I can follow are to do THIS work. To meet my dream and look at what's in the way of connecting with my dream and work with that and out of this work always comes.... something.

So, one answer to my question is.... can I make space for that "something" that comes up?

Can I let go of CONTROLLING the process or wanting it to look a certain way?

A part of me wants it to look like - writing a blog post on Tuesdays and making new things for Dream Book on Wednesdays, etc.

CAN I JUST TRUST MY CREATIVE FLOW?

I know everything works better when I do.

But there is a part of me who wants to control the overall process. Make sure I am consistent with certain things.

I know I want to be consistent about being in the flow.

This part of me wants me to be consistent about newsletter emails, blog posts, social media posts, and promotional campaigns.

Bringing this part of me into the Un-Sticking Station:

(The Un-Sticking Station is only available to Dream Book members)

She shows up as me, in a beige suit, with a leather briefcase. She's quite thin and her hair is dyed light brown.

I have an overwhelming urge to hug her and try to help her be happier and more creatively alive but I am putting that aside to stick with the process and offer her some love.

She puts up a shield.

No thank you. I don't need LOVE. I need you to follow a schedule.

Oh wow. This is going to be harder than I thought.

Look at you! You're a mess!

No, I'm an artist. I'm a human who trusts her heart and intuition. And actually I am very organized - I've been running this business for a long time.

Not very well.

(But I can tell she's not completely convinced. She's starting to lower the shield and some love is coming in. I hold my hands up, palms aimed at her, and shoot rainbows of love her way)

I'm sending you love because I want you to know you are loved. I'd like to help you feel safe.

Excellent. I will feel safe when you are more organized. That thing you wrote - blog on Tuesdays, Dream Book on Wednesdays - that's a good start. Let's make a detailed schedule.

Can we start by just being with the quality/feeling of love and safety?

This is such an incredible waste of time.

Yeah, I see that you feel that way, and that making a schedule and getting to work feel like love and safety to you, but they are not actually love and safety. They are things that help you feel love and safety and I'd like to start by actually FEELING love and safety and then... we may come up with even better ways for you to feel loved and safe.

I don't want better ways. I want predictability and schedules and for you to stop this nonsense.

Yeah, but I am me. This is how I am going to do things.

I don't want to go in circles with you.

I don't want to go in circles with you either.

OK I think we can stop this meeting now.

It feels like something VERY helpful happened in meeting the part of me, but this is as far as it can go right now. I will check in with her again in a few days.

BUT I am going to make a compromise with this part of me. I will make a list of all of the things that she would like to see done each week. These are things I want to do too!!!

I'm also going to make some art around: following my creative flow vs being organized and following a schedule. Just drawing/journaling in my Dream Book and see where it goes.

There IS a balance to be found between the two. I want to be trusting my creative flow and also feel on top of things in terms of marketing my business and moving my projects forward.

I've been balanced between these before, and it feels like the best to balance them is shifting for me right now, so while things are shifting it's like both sides are vying for total control, lol.

(Update)

Once I thought about HOW I would write/draw this in my journal, everything came together.

I saw how flow and structure each have their own place, and how they contribute to me having the experience I want AND moving towards the results I want.

And actually - this is what's in the Creative Planning and Project Management class, in the Dream Plan Kit. I know this, AND how I feel about the balance, and how the balance plays out, is shifting for me right now.

(The Dream Plan Kit is only available to Dream Book members)

AND this brings me back full circle to my question for this week!!!

Re-tooling this part will go a LONG way supporting me in making more art, from a deeper place, and sharing it more often.

It needs BOTH elements.

I feel like this actually answers the question. I can go into next week and implement what I've learned and see how it goes.

Share
Print
Email
Tweet
Pin

Wild Untamed Creativity vs The Part Of Me Who Wants To Control Everything Read More »

The indignity of being in the process of growth

By / /

I write every day, Monday - Friday, about my own process of navigating the path between where I am and where I want to be.

I share these in the Daily Miracle Mastermind Posts inside the Dream Book community. I believe that showing HOW I walk my talk each day is one of the best ways of teaching.

Today's post, which is really messy and awkward, wanted to be shared out in public - which feels even more messy and awkward for me, but here I am, following my inspiration and seeing where it leads.

My goal this week:

I am exploring the question: What helps me make more art, more often, from a deeper place?

I really want to be making more art, writing more, sharing more.

I want it to all feel easier and more flowy.

There's also something in this that's like - I know I want something more but can't quite put my finger on WHAT it is.

So I am making space to sit with this question this week.

Today I am SO ANNOYED with the question.

I've got a blank page in my daytimer for this.

I filled in all the things I know that help me stay in my flow.

I'm so bored. I know this stuff. I have worked on this for so long. Why I am I here AGAIN?

Do I want to answer that?

I guess so, I don't know what else to do.

Why I am here again:

I'm not being as creative as I'd like to be.

As in, it seems to take more work to get into it.

I have more distractions.

I am more tired.

AND ALSO I feel more desire to be creating more. And that desire conflicts with what is happening and makes everything very uncomfortable.

So, yeah, I am here AGAIN. But... being here AGAIN is not a sign that I have failed, or regressed. It's just a part of the creative path.

Also - what helps changes as I change, as my life changes. Like, right now there are all of these specific things I can do to help with my peri-menopause symptoms that THAT helps very much with THIS.

OK this makes sense, I feel less annoyed that I am here AGAIN but I still feel annoyed in general, so let's bring annoyance into the Un-Sticking Station.

(The Un-Sticking Station is a class inside Dream Book for working through stucks - that link will only work for Dream Book members)

Annoyance shows up as my older teenaged - early 20s self.

OMG you are so lame. Look at all the things I make!! It's EASY to create, and you have all the opportunities I was dreaming of, and you're squandering them.

SQUANDERING?! I CREATED them.

eyeroll

I'm not going to justify myself to you. I am doing my best and I want to keep doing better and I need to know why you are so annoyed.

Because you're 48 and this should be easy by now.

*TEARS ALL AROUND*

Yes, I agree. This should be easy by now. And it's so hard for you to look 20-30 years ahead and see that it's not. Though I mean - often, it is. Sometimes it's not.

Sometimes it's not? Seems like more than sometimes.

Yeah! I mean - look at all the things I do!

I guess that's true.

Everything is just so HEAVY right now.

Annoyance is gone. Some kind of helpful guidance spirit enters the chat.

So what would help bring LIGHTNESS?

All the things I wrote on that list. Recognizing how painful the heaviness feels, recognizing how painful it feels to NOT be doing the creative things I want to be doing. Recognizing all of the conflicting feelings of everything.

This helpful guidance spirit points me to my art journal where I have been writing and drawing and painting my feelings as my Space-Making practice.

(Space-Making is a class inside Dream Book for making space to work on your dreams when working on your dreams feels like too much - that link will only work for Dream Book members)

Oh right.

It's like my creativity is in a bottle and all of these conflicting and totally valid feelings are kind of jammed in together, creating a bottle stop. I need to let them out before I can do the things I want to do.

So I took it to my journal:

Messy painting and angry journaling to let feelings out and what I came to was:

The indignity of being in the process of growth.

I need to open myself up to the process of growth and change and the possibility of healing.

Which means letting go of the places where I want to KNOW what to do next.

Being open. Following inspiration. Being willing to make mistakes, fail, and be surprised.

Today this all feels hard. But I'll do my best with it.

Pin
Share
Print
Email
Tweet

The indignity of being in the process of growth Read More »

The magic of being stuck, and how letting your dreams change can help save the world.

By / /

I recorded myself reading this blog to you! I LOVE it. Though - it's SUPER rainy and I thought the rain falling might add a romantic touch, it just sounds staticky. So - next time I'll wait for the rain to clear, but I am loving this idea of reading my blogs to you in this way:

I help people get un-stuck and yet I still get stuck.

I do have an inner critic who is all "Seriously?! How can you keep saying you can help people when YOU are so stuck right now?"

These inner critic voices are SO black + white that they miss what is actually happening. They don't care about truth, they care about saying something that hits in such a way that it STOPS you.

It's true, I've been feeling super stuck with a lot of projects lately.

And the people are work with in Dream Book are more stuck than ever!

Not all of them, but more people than ever are writing to me to say "OMG ARRGHGHSO I DON'T KNOW WHAT I AM DOING!!!!"

So I've been writing a lot about being stuck, and about navigating transformational times.

I've been creating a new program called Space-Making which is a super gentle and do-able way to start to make space for yourself, and your dream, in your life. A way to ease into Dream Book for those times when you are too overwhelmed to really get into the work of dream-making.

I'm creating this because I still believe in our dreams and want everyone to find their way in to the magic of really deeply working with your dreams.

And I love the ways that people's dreams have changed over the last few years.

But back to the stucks.

Yes, I'm stuck with a few things right now because being stuck is an important part of the process.

Being stuck is where you look at things from different angles.

Being stuck is where you make space to FEEL your feelings... process them, learn more about yourself, and find our more about what you're really made of.

Being stuck is where you get real with yourself about the ways that YOU get in your way.

Being stuck is where you get real with yourself about where people in your life are in your way, and if you're brave you will start to set new boundaries.

Being stuck is a pivotal point.

This idea that you can take one step after another and go all the way from where you are to where you want to be without ever getting stuck - this is a fantasy that is holding you back.

THIS IS ONE OF THE MOTHER STUCKS because it keeps you from starting until you can see that clear path. That clear path doesn't exist so you will never actually start, but you won't feel upset by that because you are believing the lie that you are "waiting for the right time".

If only our stucks came with neon signs that said "Transformational experience here! Stop and look more closely at this!"

Which is, actually, my job. I hold up that sign and offer the tools that help you transform the stuck.

And even still, sometimes we will look at the tools and say "Oh, no, no this isn't an "opportunity for transformation" this is an outer obstacle and I need to just sit here and wait for someone else to clear it for me. Surely life will be less crazy in a few months."

The only way out is through.

We can sit with a stuck for years.

I had one for about 15 years - it was this idea that "I'm just not into business" and "There isn't a way to do the things I want to do and make enough money to live well".

I had these ideas that people with amazing work GET DISCOVERED.

I had hope that one day some kind of manager would find me, and take care of the business parts for me.

So I kept doing my work, on the side while working in an office after the starving artist thing became too stressful.

Until the time came when I decided to look at that stuck more closely.

It's funny for me now to look back at when I was SO SURE I could never do what I do now as my way of earning a living. I've been doing it for 11.5 years, and it feels like the only way I want to be in the world.

We are wrong about SO. MUCH.

So I look back to that, remember how sure I felt and how wrong I was, and ask "What am I wrong about now?"

There actually are an infinite number of paths that lead from where you are now to where you want to be.

You can only see the options that your current perspective will allow you to see.

And your CAPACITY plays a big role in how large your perspective is.

And I think we're all struggling with capacity issues right now.

AT THE SAME TIME

When we can find ways to NOT let this shrink our dreams, this is actually a time of HUGE NEW possibilities.

To dream BEYOND what we've dreamed before.

It's really stressful to have inflation rising out of control and increased civil unrest everywhere and attacks on our democracies and a war that threatens to pull most of the world into it and a pandemic that rages on while watching climate happen right in front of our eyes.

When I say I'm excited about dreaming BEYOND what we've dreamed before...

I am not talking about DREAM BIGGER! Seven figures is the new six figures!

I am talking about DREAM TRUER! We can create a whole new way of doing this life.

I am seeing so many people doing this, like:

  • Creating collaborative ways of working instead of trying to build the biggest business in the least time.
  • Holistic practitioners taking an honest look at the cultural appropriation in their training, and working with Indigenous people to clean it up and create new ways of doing things.
  • Art as a vehicle for activism.
  • Coaching as a vehicle for activism!

Shifts are happening.

It feels like a whole new movement of healing and creativity is springing up. One that is focused on activism, anti-racism, disability rights, honouring everyone's unique gifts. One that is deeply rooted in anti-oppressive ideologies and consciously looking for how to be as intersectional as possible.

It feels, to me, that the new age movement (including holistic wellness, yoga, life coaching) was attempting to do all of this without doing ANY of the deeper work of understanding what white supremacy, colonization and privilege actually are, and so without ANY understanding of how we draw on these oppressive ideologies and systems in how we do EVERYTHING. And so all it was was the colonization of Indigenous spirituality in various forms.

But now, we are starting to wake up.

We are starting to see new possibilities, which were always there, but hidden in our considerable blind spots.

This is the time for dreaming the new world into being.

So, then I come back to where I started: holy shit I feel so stuck with so many projects right now.

But now - all I feel is possibility.

A stuck is an opportunity for healing and transformation. Doing this work frees up new energy for the dream.

As always, you are welcome to do this work with me in Dream Book. This is my comprehensive program for how to create the path that leads from where you are to where you want to be, by engaging more deeply and directly with the Inner Work and Inner Growth (I call the inner GROWTH the Dream Work) that your dream needs from you, and then using the energy freed up in that work as fuel for the outer work.

It's comprehensive. It's complex. It will help you heal and grow beyond what you believe is possible right now.

Find out more here.

Pin
Share
Print
Email
Tweet

The magic of being stuck, and how letting your dreams change can help save the world. Read More »

Making Space for your dream in the midst of all of this

By /

Yesterday I made a new video about Dream Book and how we've been navigating everything since 2020.

The goal has NOT been to make sure everyone "stays on track" with their dreams and goals! Though anyone who has wanted to do that has been supported in that.

For most people though, the goals and dreams have changed, figuring out how to navigate the pandemic, physically and emotionally, suddenly became a priority.

But the tools stayed the same. The work stayed the same: Meeting yourself where you are and moving towards where you want to be.

It's just that there's a lot more overwhelm, exhaustion and heaviness to work through these days.

And I gotta say - NOT working through it feels like a really bad option. These last two years have been traumatizing, and doing nothing to process all of your feelings means they are going to be impacting you for a very long time.

Unprocessed feelings DO dull our dreams and our whole lives.

Lately, with where we are now, it's all gotten heavier, so I am shifting gears a little.

For the people who can engage with it - Dream Book remains a program that will help you build the path to your dream, handle all of the inner work of facing the places where you hold back, even all the stuff that's in your blind spots that you don't know about, and then help you GROW into the version of yourself that can navigate that path that leads to where you want to be.

But not everyone can engage with all of that right now and that is completely understandable.

For the people who can't engage with it because that's just too much - we're focusing on SPACE-MAKING.

I'm creating the new Space-Making program - though "program" is maybe the wrong word as this will be in VERY small doses so it can be done when you have NO capacity, because it can help increase capacity and make space from where you are. I guess "support system" is a better description.

And while I am creating that, I am inviting ALL Dream Book members to email me, let me know where you're at, and I'll help you come up with some tools/practices/support that are immediately helpful for your self care and help you shift towards where you want to be.

This is NOT a time to give up.

I have been working with a few people who had given up and are coming back to it and have all of the impacts of giving up to work through now.

Giving up on your dreams doesn't make everything else easier. It doesn't sooth overwhelm or bring lightness to the heaviness of the world.

What it does is add some new heavy layers of feelings. For some it's shame, grief, sadness, disappointment, that "see I knew you'd fail" kind of thing.

It's ALSO not the time to carry on as you had been.

Obviously.

I don't think anyone has that kind of energy and mental clarity right now.

But those are NOT your only options. This is actually an ideal time for CHANGE.

WHAT IF you were working on your dreams as a healing practice?

WHAT IF you were working on your dreams as a self care practice?

WHAT IF there was no pressure or timelines or perfectionism?

WHAT IF this was a way of bringing JOY into your life, right here right now, while also setting your future self up for MORE joy?

This is what our dreams have always been asking of us.

This is what Dream Book has been encouraging you to do all along. Your dream is here to HEAL you, GROW you, and bring you the JOY of being who you really are.

But you know that "how you do anything is how you do everything" thing? We bring a lot of shitty patterns into how we approach our dreams.

We can stop doing that.

In fact, not like I like to should anyone, but I think we SHOULD stop doing that.

There is a much better way.

So here is that video:

And here is Dream Book. Send me an email when you join and we'll work out your unique way of getting into all of this.

Share
Print
Email
Tweet
Pin

Making Space for your dream in the midst of all of this Read More »

A conversation with the part of me who wants to protect me from my feelings.

By /

I had such a great meeting this morning with my dream and the soul of my business.

I had this jumble of ideas and wishes in my mind and they showed me how to put them into a mindmap that answered all of my questions.

And from the mindmap I created a list.

And know I know exactly what I want to do, and exactly how I want to start doing it.

So. I know exactly what I want to do and exactly how I want to start doing it....

And then this feeling comes over me.

I try to push it aside and keep going. There is more I can add to the list, or I can start doing the things on the list...

And then I find myself scrolling social media!

I bring myself back to the list.

And that feeling comes back. It's uncomfortable and I'd like to just push it aside...

But that's not how it works.

Feel all of the feelings that come up for you on the path to your dream.

This is one of the eight principles we work with in Dream Book. If you are following all of the principles, you can't stay stuck. If you are doing the opposite of the principles, you're likely to be quite stuck.

I had to admit at this point I almost switched back to Facebook. But I am Staying. With. It.

OK - this feeling that comes over me when I look at this list.

So - it's a part of my process and I need to be with it.

So. Hello there, uncomfortable looming feeling.

"I'm sorry, I don't mean to LOOM" it's like a tiny version of me, and she's holding some really big thing... it's kind of vague but almost like a huge tube, like 3X her height as the diameter and she's trying to drag it somewhere.

Hey, let's put that down. I take the tube and gently set it down. I pick her up and sit her on the tube so now we're at eye level to each other.

What's up?

"Well, this is just all A LOT. I mean you have a very big list here and I agree this is a list of wonderful things and it would be wonderful to actually DO them all but also I have to say, I mean I'm sorry, I know this gets SO uncomfortable here, but the thing is, I have to say it...

I don't think you're going to DO all of this. I think you're going to start strong and this will become one more abandoned thing. Oh! Ouch! I'm sorry! I said it! I know it pains you."

Two things happened for me here:

I realised that yes there was very much a part of me feeling afraid that I Wouldn't DO all of these things.

And I realised that this was a little silly because I complete LOTS OF THINGS. And then I don't complete projects - it's because I got what I need from them already, or because something else feels more important. It's fine.

And in a WHOOSH I felt fine with not completing every project and could stay in this conversation holding that perspective.

Well actually, that vague looming discomfort probably pains me more, because it derails me completely and has me distracting myself instead of doing what I truly want to do. So I'd rather face the harder stuff head on and work through it.

"That's? Good?" She really seems to not want to upset me.

Yeah, that's good. I think I may be stronger than you think. Like a LOT stronger. Like I CAN handle having feelings.

"Oh? What?" She is completely befuddled.

Yeah, I actually would rather feel my feelings than avoid them, because this way I am FREE. Freedom is really important to me. I need to feel free enough to do what I want to do - like all the things on this list. NOT feeling my feelings keeps me a prisoner to them.

"Holy crap, I never thought of it that way" Now she's grown a little taller and heavier and so her weight is pushing down on the tube she's sitting on, keeping us at eye level. She leans over. "This is fascinating"

So, it seems like you are a part of me who hasn't been paying attention for the last, like, 20 years. Maybe you are my 28 year old inner "child"?

"25"

Oh, yeah ok that makes sense. So here's the thing: feeling those uncomfortable feelings that loom over me helps me actually MAKE SPACE to actually DO the things I want to do and actually has helped me not be so stuck in general. Feeling feelings is really good! Like I even go to therapy just to talk about my feelings because I love it. I pay for therapy, I love it that much.

"Oh wow"

Yeah, it is really cool. Listen, I want you to see how much I have overcome, the things you struggled with - I do not struggle with. Yes, I have other things going on and the world is a fucking disaster right now but YOU GREW AND HEALED.

She kind of gasped, to look at me and really see where I am/we are.

So I don't need you to be trying to do anything for me. I'm not sure what it is you were trying to do with this tube?

"It's a pipe. Like a pipeline." Now she is fully the same size as me, just sitting beside me with the pipeline beside her.

What were you trying to do with this?

"Trying to make a pipeline to take these uncomfortable feelings away from you."

Ahhh. Yeah. That's exactly what you do that makes things harder for you.

She gets up and kicks the pipeline and it disappears.

She gets it.

And I feel... ready to go do these things.

Pin
Share
Print
Email
Tweet

A conversation with the part of me who wants to protect me from my feelings. Read More »

I guess I asked for this…

By / /

A self portrait of my volatile feelings, from this morning in my journal.

A self portrait of my volatile feelings, from this morning in my journal.

I started by saying, OUT LOUD AND EVERYTHING because I am really ready to do this:

"Once and for all I want to work through why I am scared to do this thing." Like really. Why do I keep SAYING I am doing the thing, but not doing the thing? Why do I keep making plans, and then not following through on them?

I mean I know - pandemic and world events have all been a lot and things take the time they take and PATIENCE is an essential ingredient for any dream...

BUT ALSO I know I am not doing my best to show up.

And this fact keeps colliding with my excitement to do this thing and that collision sets off a lot of uncomfortable stuff.

And, here I am now, ready to really, REALLY, deal with this stuff in me that keeps me from showing up the way I want to.

So. Hello Fear. Let's talk.

Fear immediately shows up as a monster. At least 30 feet tall. Lots of brown fur and sharp teeth.

We're in a clearing in the woods, near the entrance to a rock cave. I put a picnic blanket down and invite the monster to join me.

There is tension in my shoulders which turned into actual sharp pain in my left shoulder.

The monster just makes a face. I sit down on the blanket and stretch out my legs. Monster aside, it is a gorgeous day.

I say "I really want to understand what it is you are so afraid of here."

Then I realise - ok it's TWO things, not the ONE thing I was first thinking of. There are two projects I am working on that have the monster riled up.

THEN I realize that these two projects may have been stuck partially BECAUSE I am trying to get both started at once when I DO NOT have the energy for two big scary things right now.

But back to the monster.

"I really want to understand what it is you are so afraid of here."

Me? Afraid? No. I am here to scare YOU! Why would a monster be afraid?

That feels like deflection. But ok. Why do you want to scare me?

Monster appears confused.

"You don't want to scare me just to scare me, do you?"

I want... I mean. I want...

"You don't seem scary right now"

I know! But I am! I AM SCARY! YOU SHOULD BE SCARED!

"Oh, I am. Scared. Frustrated. Angry. Anxious. Terrified. My feelings are very volatile right now. And I am asking you - WHY do you want me to be scared?"

Because you stop working on those things when you're afraid.

"Right. So why don't you want me to do those things?"

Because they're scary. Scarier than me. Real-World Scary.

I lay back on the picnic blanket and look up at the clouds and wonder...

Is it true that it's just scarier right now to pursue our dreams and goals, to put new projects out into the world? That feels likely.

Should I pick one project or the other to fully focus on? That feels very stressful. Lots of fear of picking the wrong thing and sabotaging everything.

"Ok monster, I am thinking of just focusing on one of these projects for now. What do you think of that?"

Monster goes silent.

Oh right. Monster doesn't need to scare me about that, because I already feel so scared of choosing the wrong one and sabotaging everything. Which doesn't mean this is the wrong move to make.

What if I did give everything to one project? What would that look like?

Oh wow. I CAN'T DO THAT BECAUSE I DON'T FULLY TRUST EITHER PROJECT.

I am doing both, or rather trying to do both, in the hopes that it doubles my chance of success.

But what it does is split my energy.

I mean I used to be able to do two projects like this at once but the world was different then and I was different then and...

WHAT IF I TRUSTED MYSELF TO SUCEED? WHICH PROJECT WOULD I CHOOSE THEN?

That's obvious.

"Ok Monster. Did you hear that? I am going to work on trusting myself to succeed."

Monster bursts into tears and sits down beside me on the blanket.

I put my arm around the monster as it shrinks down to my size.

"What's going on, buddy?"

It's so terrible. To realize that you didn't trust yourself. I didn't mean to make you not trust yourself! I just wanted to try to keep your dreams smaller so you'd be safe. I mean, even I know how misguided that idea is, but it's all I've got. Your dreams are so scary to me.

But you can see, that I need to be able to trust myself, right? That THIS is how we create safety.

Yes, of course. Trusting yourself is crucial.

So, what now?

The monster is now a comic character of a nerd - and he's got charts and computers and books and all sorts of things.

I'm going to help you DO THIS. We ARE going to pick that one project to focus on.

And we are going to NOT get all "but I've tried so many ways and it hasn't worked" because guess what?! That's another monster hiding in there. That's not true or relevant to anything.

We are going to be more methodological. We are going through ALL of the plans and notes you have written about the ways you've tried this and pick up ALL of the threads you abandoned because I made it hard for you to continue.

We are going to do all of the things that help you be optimistic and connected.

And yes you can work on that other project as a side thing. ONLY when this project doesn't need your creativity and focus.

I stretch out and check in with my body.

Still a little tense, but I don't feel all of those volatile feelings anymore.

I feel less like everything is impossible and more ready to pick myself up and keep going.

Then I have a nice calming meditation, releasing stress in my body, giving my feelings some space and it comes to me:

I can give the first 2 hours of each day to this project. Those 2 hours are my BEST 2 hours, give them to this project. Then do my other stuff after.

Now I feel possibility and trust in my body.

PS: The last two years have made things really hard for dreamers.

It's really easy right now to zoom over into spiritual bypass, or to fall into despair.

Neither of these approaches are going to help you create what you want in your life.

Because this is all such a challenge right now, I am offering extra classes in Dream Book.

On March 11 we're doing HABITS UPGRADE:

Without judging any of the habits you've got going on right now how can we shift towards more helpful habits? Or even - TRANSFORMATIVE habits? Healing habits? Up-leveling habits?

We'll create habits that make your heart sing. Habits that are a DELIGHT to actually do. Habits that make everything better right now AND move you along the path to a better future.

Then Creative With Money is happening March 15:

We’ll do a deep dive into your relationship with money and re-wire it to make more space for whatever it is you need right now.

There will be ah-hahs and shifts and the glowing sense of feeling more free inside your life.

The vibe is: YOUR CREATIVE GENIUS IS BIGGER THAN ALL OF THE OBSTACLES - EVEN CAPITALISM.

These are both a part of your Dream Book membership for March.

Find out more + join us here.

Pin
Share
Print
Email
Tweet

I guess I asked for this… Read More »

Creative Planning: Releasing What’s In The Way To Make More Space For What You Want

By / /

(I do my weekly planning with the printable version of the Year of Dreams 2022, all the details of how I printed + bound it are here. The journaling printables I cut + paste onto it are from Dream Book)

Get the free full Creative Genius Planning Sessions video (15 minute meditation + journaling class for planning your week from your most wise, brave + creative self, here)

The soul of the Creative Dream Incubator sent me this message:

You got to stay in the vibe where big new possibilities happen.

Look at where you can smooth out the little irritants and make things simpler. Look at what you can let go of. Look at where you can use the big irritants as a source of healing and transformation.

This felt like a message for all of us, but it also came with A LOT of specific examples of where I need to do this.

(This has been happening a lot lately, like the Creative Dream Incubator sends me huge data dumps and I to sort through and get my instructions from them. It's been AMAZING.)

One of those examples is these weekly Creative Genius Planning Sessions. I've been uploading them to You Tube, turning that video into a blog post, sending an email with a link to the blog post, and also putting it on Instagram.

I did it this way because I didn't know where to put them, so I put them everywhere. That was the simplest way for me to get going - otherwise I could have spent a lot of energy trying to figure out where to put the videos.

And being in the process of doing this every week has shown me a better way to do this.

This is how it works with most dreams - you do what you can from where you are, learn as you go, apply what you learn, and keep growing from there.

So, the soul of my Creative Dream Incubator showed me if I did less of this backend stuff and just upload the video to Instagram because that is by far THE simplest way - that frees up energy that makes it easier for me to stay in a state of possibility, which opens up new possibilities.

So that's what I will be doing.

This is the last week I'll share the Creative Genius Planning Session video on my blog.

You'll be able to find them on Instagram.

PS: Know that I don't make ANY decision in my business lightly, and I DO know that not everyone is on Instagram. Please don't email me to let me know that you are not on Instagram.

Pin
Share
Print
Email
Tweet

Creative Planning: Releasing What’s In The Way To Make More Space For What You Want Read More »

Weekly Creative Planning: Show Up For Your Dream, Even If You’re Not Feeling It

By / /

(I do my weekly planning with the printable version of the Year of Dreams 2022, all the details of how I printed + bound it are here. The journaling printables I cut + paste onto it are from Dream Book)

Get the free full Creative Genius Planning Sessions video (15 minute meditation + journaling class for planning your week from your most wise, brave + creative self, here)

Pin
Share
Print
Email
Tweet

Weekly Creative Planning: Show Up For Your Dream, Even If You’re Not Feeling It Read More »

Weekly Creative Planning: Drop the heaviness + call in what you need.

By / /

(I do my weekly planning with the printable version of the Year of Dreams 2022, all the details of how I printed + bound it are here. The journaling printables I cut + paste onto it are from Dream Book)

Get the free full Creative Genius Planning Sessions video (15 minute meditation + journaling class for planning your week from your most wise, brave + creative self, here)

PS: I hope you're coming to my Instagram live today to celebrate Micheal Redhead Champagne's new book!! Such a great chance to soak up the energy and magic of a big dream coming true and SUCH a great time to talk about WRITING BOOKS THAT HELP CHANGE THE WORLD!

PPS: The Obstacle Is The Way Through is happening This Thursday!!

(February 10, on Zoom at 1:pm Central - and it will be recorded and the recording WILL be effective and we can chat in the comments section if you have questions).⁠
⁠
We're going to work with the thing that is MOST in your way RIGHT NOW. It can be an internal or external thing.

The call will be about 60-90 minutes, depending on what kinds of conversations come up in the process.⁠
⁠
We'll go deep.⁠...
⁠
And you'll leave knowing EXACTLY what to do next✨✨⁠
⁠
This call is included in your Dream Book membership for February.

Join us here.
⁠
Your future self will thank you.

Share
Print
Email
Tweet
Pin

Weekly Creative Planning: Drop the heaviness + call in what you need. Read More »

Get my free Guided Journal for Creative Dreaming!

Breakthroughs guaranteed.

⚡️BREAKTHROUGHS GUARANTEED⚡️

Get the free journal for Creative Dreaming here: