I felt like staying in bed this morning, but I didn’t! I got dressed and did my 30 minute walk to the coffee shop during the sunrise which really “should” have given me enough dopamine to get into it...

But here I am, in the coffee shop, my coffee is done and I am still blah.

So I am taking “I’m not feeling it today” into the Un-Sticking Station to see what happens.

Hey there, part of me who is not feeling it today, how are you?

Well. I’m just not feeling it.

Yeah, I see that. That sucks!

Ehhh. I don’t know.

Are you happy to not be feeling it?

Not happy, just… meh I guess.

Yeah, and I’m just not sure here - do you want to just be meh today or should we try to look at what is happening here? Or - is there something you need?

I sit with these questions for much longer than you would think.

I think about how this year I have been exploring resistance and the last few months those explorations have just lost steam…. because, in general, I am feeling so much more in the flow.

I think about what a big adjustment I’ve made this year, with the end of my marriage at the end of 2023.

I think about what a big adjustment I’ve made going on hormones after really struggling with perimenopause.

I think about all of the clothes I have been sewing and how it feels like I am creating a new wardrobe for a new version of myself.

I think about how I decided to start the Year of Hope project in November and since then preparing for it has felt like I am learning to embody hope in a new way and this has been another big shift.

And it feels like…. I just need to rest.

This doesn’t feel blah or meh anymore, just feels like rest is needed.

 

Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

Do you want to start 2025 feeling ready to make the most of your new year?

Sometimes we're like "Shit! A new year? Already? But I'm not ready!"

And the thing is - you have to GET ready, you know?

Spend some time reflecting on the year that is ending and letting go of what you need to release so that you are ready to step into the new year in a good way...

Join us tomorrow for the Goodbye 2024 Releasing Ceremony!

An opportunity to process and reflect on 2024 (SO IMPORTANT!!!) in a super supportive space, get some clarity and release what you need to let go of in order to step into 2025 feeling CLEAR and ready to make the most of the new year.

The live event is happening on Zoom tomorrow (Dec 13) at 1:00 Central, North America. The replay will be available by the end of the day, so even if you can't make it live you can do this with us this weekend.

(There is space on our private website to leave your thoughts, comments and questions while you watch, so you're really not doing it alone)

Membership members - get the details here.

Not a member yet? Find out more + join us here.

 

Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

For so many reasons, my creative flow has been SLOW for a long time. I've had ideas but not the physical or mental energy to act on them.

This is a hard place to be! There's a lot that can be said about how painful it is to be a creative person and not have the energy or opportunity to create.

I'm so relieved that lately my creative energy has been coming back to me and I have been SEWING like crazy.

Sewing isn't what I thought I wanted to be doing.

I do like to have some slow projects on the go in winter for when I feel like it, but it's not usually the big focus.

So it's interesting that now all of this creative energy has come back - but it's specifically for sewing.

I made a winter parka (which kept me VERY warm in -30 windchill last week) and puffy vest, then a polar fleece hoodie dress, and today I am finishing a second hoodie and maybe even cutting out a third. You see a theme? I want ALL the cozy winter clothes.

Most years in winter I just add layers and keep wearing what I usually wear but this year I really want something different. And there is SO MUCH ENERGY to make this happen, so I am doing it.

And now, being this version of me who is SO productive, sewing-wise... I just feel different. I am engaging my creativity and letting that flow move faster.

But I had WANTED more creative energy for work related projects. There are so many things I wish I was creating!

But I am remembering how important it is to FOLLOW our creative flow, and not try to CONTROL it.

I mean - direct it, yes. Nurture it, yes. But we can't control it.

By FOLLOWING my creative flow and making all of these cozy clothes... I feel like I am supporting myself in getting to where I want to be, creative flow wise, with my work projects.

Last month I tried to do this new thing and every step was so painful.

At every step I would get SO stuck. Inner obstacles and outer obstacles, just obstacles everywhere I looked. It's like - that project is not ready (or I am not ready for it)! and trying to force it only makes me feel terrible.

And so I abandoned that project because it was just too many hard things.

And in comparison - my sewing is flowing like crazy! I'm even finding pieces of fabric I bought 10+ years ago that are perfect for new patterns I have so I am making even more things than I thought I would.

And maybe this is still just me resisting that other project because of all of the obstacles... but I feel like I am taking a smaller step. Getting back into my creative flow, getting that moving nicely, so I can go back to that project WITH my creative flow intact.

I hope this makes sense to someone besides me, lol. The way we FEEL while in our creative flow is such a personal thing.

 

Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:

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During our New Moon call last month (and you can still watch it if you haven't yet, it was a really good one!!) I received this amazingly clear and specific message for what to do in December to GET THE THING I WANT. It said to be IN the process, like a spell or a ceremony, ALL MONTH, to become this version of me who has the thing. To BE my dream self so much that I become this version of me by the end of the month so I am ready to receive/create the dream.

This is going SO WELL. Like I am feeling inspired and confident AND things are starting to shift in the outer work.

AND

I keep having this “this is too good to be true” response.

I am frustrated about this. And trying to be curious instead of frustrated.

My “teacher self” says - Ummmm you DO know that this is exactly what you signed up for!”

And she’s right. Holding an intention really firmly does seem to call in all the fears and inner doubts.

It SEEMS LIKE they all get called in but what is actually happening is that firm intention moves you towards what you want…. Which means you have to move THROUGH this stuff.

You have to deal with the things that are in the way, to get to what you want.

And I know this SO WELL but that doesn’t stop it from being SO ANNOYING.

And it feels wrong even! Like I am messing up because I keep having the “this is too good to be true” response.

So - “I am messing up” is a voice to bring to the Un-Sticking Station AND “This is too good to be true” is another one.

Where do I want to start today? I probably can only do one a day if I really want to give this some space.

I am randomly picking “I am messing up” as it feels like it has a little more energy, but it really doesn’t matter which one you go with in situations like this.

Hey, “ I am messing up” can we talk?

OMG can you help me? Can we figure out how to stop messing up?

Well, kind of, I mean, I’d like to help you feel better.

What do you mean kind of?

I don’t think we are messing up. I just want you to feel better.

She looks taken aback, and kind of falls into couch that was behind her. We are in the basement of my childhood home.

It’s just that, if things are not going well, that means we are messing up.

OK, yeah I see how you see it that way. But sweetheart, it’s not true. It was never true that it was always your fault if anything didn’t go well. Shit happens, it really just does!

Shit happens? No one is to blame? She seems incredulous.

I know exactly where this part of me is coming from. But I had no idea she was still so present with me. This is really interesting.

I put my hand over her heart. Sweetheart, nothing is your fault. You try so hard and you are doing great. 

I imagine that this is performing a healing.

I want to pull her roots out, I know they are entwined in people pleasing and working to try to earn worthiness. She desperately needs to find a way to EARN being “good enough”

You are worthy. You don’t have to earn that. You were born worthy just like everyone is. I’m so sorry the world failed you and made you feel like you were not enough.

She’s crying.

The room is transforming into a spa.

I’ve always had a little dream of turning a basement into a spa. All the surfaces covered in gorgeous tile, a hot salt pool, steam shower, etc.

So now, my childhood home’s basement, is this amazing spa and the hot salt pool is actually a LOVE AND WORTHINESS pool and this little me is soaking in it and everything she wants or needs will appear here for her while she soaks off unworthiness and soaks in self love and enoughness.

And me, my 50 year old self sitting at my desk, I feel soothed by this. 

And I feel accepting - at the start of this I was really frustrated that I seem to have all of this “inner stuff” around getting this thing I want right now, and feeling like I am messing up because because I have SO MUCH inner stuff... but now I get it.

I have been doing inner work, so it’s easy to feel like I am doing all of the inner work I need, but I see now - I need a LOT more. The outer work of this dream is really solid, it’s this inner stuff that needs to shift so I can really let this thing in.

I am working on it.

 

Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

During our New Moon call last month (and you can still watch it if you haven't yet, it was a really good one!!) I received this amazingly clear and specific message for what to do in December to GET THE THING I WANT.

It said to be IN the process, like a spell or a ceremony, ALL MONTH, to become this version of me who has the thing. To BE my dream self so much that I become this version of me by the end of the month so I am ready to receive/create the dream.

Last week I shared how some things started changing, this dream starting happening, and I had an intense "this is too good to be happening" response, and processed all of the layers of that.

Since then, this has been a really calm process.

What's most interesting to me is that I journal about this every morning, starting by stating my intention each day - and then my journaling goes in different directions each time.

I thought I would just kind of repeat the same thing every day, but every day it feels like I am looking at it from a different angle.

Learning so much about what it REALLY means to have this dream happen, vs what I was assuming it would mean.

And this lesson just keeps coming up for me for the last several years - but the version of me who has the thing is NOT working harder or smarter. She's a LOT more relaxed.

 

Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

During our New Moon call last week (and you can still watch it if you haven't yet, it was a really good one!!) I received this amazingly clear and specific message for what to do in December to GET THE THING I WANT.

I have been doing that thing.

And it's working, it's didn't 100% instantly happen, but things are changing ALREADY.

And I have this "OH THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING" reaction in my mind and body. Like - this is impossible. This isn't really happening. Or it is happening, but it's going to fall apart. THIS WILL NOT WORK.

During the New Moon call I felt so clear. In the few days after while I was getting myself ready to do the thing, I felt so clear AND READY.

The first few days of the month - I felt so SURE.

And then as it starts to actually happen... it's like ALL of my feeling sure and ready and clear just vanished.

It's that "this must be too good to be true" feeling.

And I don't like it. And I don't want it. But I know THIS IS A PART OF ME and THIS IS A PART OF MY PROCESS and it needs tending to, so I am bringing it into the Un-Sticking Station.

Hi, feeling like this can't be true, can we talk?

I don't get any sense of a "character" or anything. Meeting this part of me just feels like anxiety in my body.

So - Hey, anxiety in my body, I'm so sorry you are feeling this way, how can I help you?

I need you to stop believing.

Oh, honey! Believing is really scary for you, hey?

It's dangerous.

Can you tell me more about that?

You'll get your hopes up, rise up, and be crushed. It's so much better to be crushed from down low.

Oh, sweetheart. That's dark.

Is it?

Yeah.

No, I think it's just reality.

No, honey, no. Here, let's get you some hot chocolate. Did you know I got WHIPPED CREAM?! Let's put some on there.

This part of me seems to be some kind of character now, but I can't really see it. I just get a sense that it is childlike, and lying on a couch. It's sitting up to drink the hot chocolate.

So, I know I said "Oh that's dark" but while I was making the hot chocolate I was thinking about it and I think I am starting to get it. It's really terrifying to believe that it's actually happening this time.

It is! THE MOST terrifying!

Yeah, and I dismissed you by saying "Oh that's dark" because I'm really seeing how if we don't hope and believe and go for it... then it can never happen.

I think that's better.

But you're lying on a couch in this dark space where I can't even see you. Are you saying you want to just stay here? Not take a chance on something better?

I'm safe here.

Well, kind of. But I think... I mean I don't want to scare you, but I really don't see how following this sense of hopelessness can create safety.

Something shifts in the room and I feel like she GOT IT.

Feeling hopeful, especially when your hopes have been dashed so many times, is so hard. I get how giving up feels safer. I see how terrified you are and want to be there for you! AND I think feeling hopeful and giving this our all, really is the only option here.

BUT if you don't agree, I do want to talk about it. Do you see another option?

Well, I mean, I just want to lay here in the dark. But yeah I see how that doesn't actually create safety. Maybe there's another option besides full steam ahead and zero steam laying in the dark?

I'm sure there are lots!

AND I wonder... can you even see how slowly I have moved this year? Do you see how much time and space I have myself to heal from the end of my marriage, which was the end of a dream, and process how my peri-menopause became almost debilitating and then got help and then everything got worse before it got better?

Like - I am not rushing into anything here. I have been healing and resting and filling the well. I get the sense that you don't know that, that these "big dreams" of mine and this DEEP commitment I have made are coming out of nowhere.

If you look at the last year of my life, I think it's clear that these are my only steps to take at this point. I think it's clear I am READY for this. I am not rushing but I am also not holding back. I feel balanced. I feel inspired and powerful.

And I don't want to steamroll you and your needs. I want to figure out how to tend to you, take care of you, and help you feel safe.

This little self is crying now.

No I didn't know you were healing this year. I have just felt so alone.

I give her a big hug. (Actually physically putting my arms around myself)

I'm so sorry. You are not alone.

This feels different now.

I don't know that it's resolved, having parts of us freak out when we start to get what we want is really common. But now that we have connected in this way, when I start to feel that way again, I can pick up where we left off and keep working on it.

 

 

Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

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Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

The intention is to DO THE THING.

NOW.

Resistance feels like a continual presence in the process though.

And right it shows up as:

Oh yeah, this is the dream. The dream is beautiful. It's amazing! All parts of me want it! No resistance here!

Oh, you mean... NOW?! Yikes. I don't know. Why would we rush? Aren't other things more important NOW?

So my intention, right now, is to show up for this dream NOW. To call it in NOW. To make space for it NOW. To do all the things I can do to support it NOW. To see it happening for me NOW. Etc.

How can I show up TODAY, in the most impactful way possible, to make this dream happen NOW?

Honestly, this question makes my head spin. My resistance goes crazy, trying to figure out how to stop me.

So, I am holding the question as I go about my day.

And being with the response.

The conflicting feelings. The shame. The fear. The inspiration. The motivation. The panic.

And I am committing to staying with this - not pushing through and making myself just DO this "most impactful thing" (which is easy to do since I don't know what this is) - but staying in the process. Tending to what comes up in me.

I hope I will make a Dream Book page about it - start to brainstorm some ideas for how to do this AND make space for all of the different emotional and mental responses that are kind of freaking out right now...

 

Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

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Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

YOU

DESERVE

TO

HAVE

YOUR

DREAM

DESERVE DESERVE DESERVE DESERVE

This is a message that keeps coming to me, and it's not only for me.

Some resources from the membership for deepening your sense of deservability:

Being OPEN + RECEPTIVE to your dream

Feeling WORTHY of your dreams

Letting your dream come to you instead of chasing after it

Your self doubt is not yours, you deserve to believe in yourself

 

 

Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

It's actually REALLY HARD to keep making new goals for the New Year if you're not taking the time to reflect on and learn from what happened with your plans for the year that is ending.

Looking back is the most effective way to look forward!

Do this with the Goodbye 2024 Hello 2025 Guided Journal for Reflection + Intention Setting for the New Year.

AND for Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members there is also the Goodbye 2024 Releasing Ceremony and Hello 2025 Blessing Ceremony. Get the details and the journal here.

If you're not in the membership, get the journal here.

And here's the first page to get you started (click here to download the printable .pdf file)

 

 

Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

Our dreams are CHANGING. And new dreams are coming in. This keeps coming up on group calls in the Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership.

This makes so much sense because our dreams are a way that we respond to the world AND our dreams are a way that we help create the world.

So big world changes do spark new dreams.

The call to activism is so strong right now.

Of course it is! Activism is a way that we dream FOR THE WORLD and not just ourselves.

Not that dreaming for yourself is wrong. It’s that your dreams come from a sacred place of you, and in that place - we are all connected. So the deeper you go into your dreams the more likely it is that you shift towards a more collective focus.

And at the same time, I think culturally we are moving towards the end of individualism. I think we’ve taken this train as far as it can go. I think it’s time to live, work and dream TOGETHER. It’s BEYOND time to dismantle all forms of systemic oppression and create a culture that supports everyone.

We are in a time of change and chaos. Our dreams can help lead us through. 

What do you wish was happening right now? That’s a dream. 

How you choose to engage with that dream is up to you - that’s creative dreaming.

If you need ideas and support - join the Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership. It can help you understand your dreams more clearly, figure out what new dreams are being born in you, and map out the path that helps you create the change you want to see in the world.

This is the work we are here to do.

 

Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

For quite some time, I've had this little voice inside tell me to take a closer look at the emails I send out when people first join my email list. They get the You Are The Magic journal, and some emails guiding them through it and some follow up emails about my work... and I keep feeling uncomfortable about the follow up emails.

And I said to myself "NO. It's fine to promote your work! I won't second guess myself. I put a lot of care into those emails. It's fine."

But that voice kept coming back.

And eventually I thought... yes I am doing to delete those follow up emails, just to make more space for other emails...

But when I got in there and looked more closely.

HOLY SHIT

I had been sending the follow up emails TWICE.

Seven emails, spaced 5-7 days apart from each other... it would go through them all and then send them all again.

YIKES.

It would have been good to really LISTEN to that voice, not necessarily to OBEY it, but get in there and take a look like it suggested.

Because, when I think back to how it happened, the voice asked me to TAKE A CLOSER LOOK and I was ASSUMING it was saying OMG STOP PROMOTING YOURSELF YOU ARE EMBARRASSING so I wouldn't engage.

Really listening to our inner voices helps us sort through... what is a fear or inner critic trying to derail us and what is our intuition. We need space to listen and process if we want to make the best decisions.

 

Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

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Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

I finished my parka!!! This excitement is compounded by the excitement I felt about finding the outer shell fabric that is wind and water proof in the exact shade of green I was hoping for.

(Technically I am not finished though, lol. I had a LOT of problems with the metal snaps on the flap that goes over the zipper, which is essential to keep the wind out. I ended up having to cut a new flap to replace the whole thing. Then I ordered magnetic sew-in snaps and will have to sew those in - so the parka is fully functional for now but will be ready for the really cold weather once I sew those in)

It felt amazing to not only finish this project on the weekend BUT ALSO have enough energy to start two new sewing projects.

I have not had this kind of energy in a long time.

In September I went to my doctor to ask about Hormone Replacement Therapy. For the last eight years I’ve been in a gradual decline with perimenopause, and I’ve tried everything, and lots of things worked, but it got to a point where I realized I needed more help.

Now - I wish I had gone to the doctor about this four years ago. And I really wish it was more widely understood that women don’t have to suffer for 7-10 years through perimenopause, that there are lots of treatments, and that hormones are actually not only safe but protective as we age.

It took almost three months for me to adjust to the hormones, my doctor had said that could happen but that the women she'd worked with before had said it was worth it. And sure enough, I feel SO GOOD now it was definitely worth it.

It actually feels like a miracle.

FEELING GOOD, after feeling like shit for so long, is one miracle.

But then having the energy to pursue creative dreams, after NOT having the energy for them for so long is a whole other thing.

Like, I want to cry!!

I can't believe how happy I am to be sewing cozy things - I'm now working on a hoodie and a puffer vest.

Our creativity is so healing.

Not having the energy, time, focus or confidence to do the things we feel inspired to do is painful.

I know we are human BEINGS (not human doings!) but I am just so grateful to be DOING again.

We are CREATIVE beings.

 

Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.