After two days in a row of meeting the swan, I was expecting the swan when I did the soul of your business version of the Dream Lab.

(If you don't have a business you can meet with the soul of your dream.)

This time - nothing happened.

My dream didn’t show up. The soul of my business didn’t show up. I got to the part where it’s asking me to look at the relationships between things, and I had to just pause it.

I sat with it.

Finally realized - well there is this kind of cobblestone ground beneath me. I guess that is my dream… like a sturdy supportive platform.

But still, the soul of my business was nowhere. After two days of such reassuring meetings with it, this felt like a problem.

I went back into the meditation and felt relieved by the things I said there, about how these things can change from day to day and point us to what’s going on in our relationships with ourselves and our dreams and it doesn’t necessarily mean anything is wrong when the meditation doesn’t feel right.

I drew out my meditation in my journal.

Me standing on these cobblestones.. That’s when I realized… cobblestones are outside, I am not inside, like on a floor in a home.

Then I noticed how dark and lonely it felt.

And realised… I think there are tall walls around me. Blocking out the sun.

It’s disappointing that the soul of my business had shown up in such a magical and helpful way this week, and now this! The sun is blocked!!

But I had a lot of anxiety yesterday afternoon and this could be related. Am I separated from myself? From my ambition and work?

I sit here for a while, getting increasingly annoyed.

What should I do?

A part of me is wondering why my business hasn’t show up and another part of me is slowly accepting the idea that my business IS here, but I am blocked from it.

Like - these are MY walls.

Then it starts to feel important that I recognize that the walls exist.

And that feels like enough for today.

I’ll do this meditation again tomorrow and see where it goes.

 

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