It’s already week three of my new adventure!

Early this week I started to really come into alignment with this new dream.? I started feeling more flow and inspiration.

I had so many ideas for things to try, and so much energy to play with them.? Sunday night I had a hard time falling asleep because I was So Excited for Monday morning to come so I could get to work.

It felt amazing.

Until it didn’t.

I went from super inspired on top of the world to way down in the dumps.

This happens with dreams!? You dig through stuff, get to a new layer of clarity, but then there is all this… debris from your digging.

The debris was messy this week.? Remembering all the reasons why this is impossible.? Loosing my connection with why I want this.? Not trusting my dream.? Not trusting myself.? Not fun.

And I kept trying to push myself to act anyway.? Which is never a good idea. But I felt frustrated and impatient and wanted to see some results.

I found myself very focused on externals, which is usually what’s happening when you feel stuck like that.

So then I thought… hey why don’t I do the things that I know work when I’m down in the dumps.

• Treasure mapping.
• Meditation.
• Drawing mandalas.
• Journaling.
• Meeting my sadness with creativity & love (there is a beautiful class on this in the Creative Dream Circle).
• Using the Un-Sticking Station in the Creative Dream Circle.

That stuff kept this week from being a total disaster.? And as I played with these tools, I learned A LOT about why I was so in the dumps.

And even found gifts & treasures in the dump.

Bringing a dream to life is more about growing yourself than it is about making things happen in the outer world.

I’ve got painful stories that I carry that me-who-lives-this-dream does not carry.? These stories were so troubling for me this week because I was waking up to how troubling they are.

You know how when you’re just used to something you don’t really notice it?? It’s like that with your stories and patterns and limiting beliefs.

When you consciously choose to grow, and set your sights on a new way of being – the old ways of being start to become horribly uncomfortable.

This was uncomfortable this week and I’m guessing I’m not finished being uncomfortable.

I am grateful to start to see the patterns behind the patterns more clearly.? I’m grateful to have the tools & skills to transform this.? I’m grateful that no matter how sad & frustrating this gets, I do hold onto the knowing that I will move through this.

I made friends with Discipline.

Discipline appeared this week.? Not all drill sargeant-y and pushy, more like a beautiful and benevolent Goddess of Possibilities.

Last week I talked about creating daily and weekly practices that support and sustain me as I support and sustain this dream.? Daily meditation, energy work, journaling and art-making.? Weekly learning.

This week I learned that I need this to be more disciplined.? It’s not enough to just to these things each day, they need more structure and I need more structure in how I approach them.

These structures are the most supportive things, ever.

This boy became my business role model:

Everything about this represents everything I want in how I approach my work.

He’s relaxed and trusting and barefoot.

He’s playing.? In a soft space in the sunshine.

He’s got pens and toys and an open book.

Spaciousness. Freedom. Creativity. Trust. Alignment. InTUNEment.

Flow. Flow. Flow. Flow. Flow.

Tangible Things I did this week to move towards my goal:

Given how hard this week felt, it feels like a complete miracle that I did anything.? But I did!? Because I am kind of chatty here talking about why I’m doing things, I am making the things I did bold, and everything else plain.

I figured out how I want to start advertising, and started!? I updated my Fabulous Free Stuff page, created a button for it and signed up for an ad on Kind over Matter, to advertise my Fabulous Free Stuff page.

(Advertising my free stuff has been the best way for me to advertise my business.? This way the ad is an invitation to peek into my creative world and see if you want to play here.? Ads that point to a sales page are NOT how I want to grow my business – I would much rather people got to know me FIRST, then decide if they want to join the Circle, instead of advertising the circle.)

I’ll also advertise the freebies page on Facebook, starting in January.? And I did some research for some new places to place ads in January.

I did a lot more tweaking to the Creative Dream Circle page.? (do check it out!)? I thought a lot about how I want to connect with people as they’re reading that page, and what I want them to know.

Made some images to promote the Creative Dream HOLYday to share on Facebook and Pinterest.

Spent more time exploring my new favourite question: Do I need to step up what I’ve been doing or do I need a totally new plan?

Did more inspiring business reading to nourish my brain with possibilities.

Worked on my promotional plan for January.? I’ll be running both the Creative Dream HOLYday (Jan 3) and the Creative Dream Incubator e-course (Jan 28).? This is an amazing course that really does grow dreams – I want to get as many people as possible participating this year.

Planned my first Spreecast: The Creative Dream Journal Playdate (it’s free and it’s happening January 7)!!? On Monday I got to play with Connie and Lisa on Spreecast and wheeeee it was fun.? I’ve been thinking about doing this forever and finally – I’m doing it!

Being able to speak to people one-on-one has been the best way for me to grow my business.

People do not realise how much I can help them – until I do it!

When you have a mindset like “this is hard” or “I don’t live my dreams – that’s for other people” someone telling you they can help with that doesn’t even register.? Because you’ve been carrying that story so long it feels like Absolute Truth for you – you don’t know that you’re carrying it.

When I work with new people and start to shift the energy around the story to open up new possibilities – they’re stunned.? Then they start to get what it means to play with possibility.? Then they start to want more for themselves.? It’s so beautiful.

Last year I gave away 100 free mini coaching sessions.? As much as I loved that, energy work takes a LOT of energy and I simply can’t do that again.? So this year I’ve been doing free monthly coaching circles and tele-classes since November, and now I’m going to branch out into the free live stream.

I think the tele-classes/circles may work better because then people get to actually talk to me and I can do energy shifting & coaching with them.? For that to happen on a live stream, they’d have to be willing to go on camera and a lot of people are not comfortable with that.

On the other hand, a lot of people don’t want to pay long distance for a phone call (though I do have to pay long distance charges to call my own conference line!) but would watch a video stream online.? So I think the video stream will have more participants – but will they be as engaged?

I don’t know!? Let’s see if I find out at the Creative Dream Journal Playdate.

I added new posts to Dreamtastic Creative Journals.

Did a little re-tooling of the space inside the Creative Dream Circle to make space for more members.

This week wasn’t easy and I feel like I didn’t get nearly as much done as I would have liked, but still I’m proud of how I faced how I was feeling and brought in love & creativity to transform it and stayed on track as much as possible.? The inner critics are not going to knock me off track!

Last week I started a score card to keep track of everything I’m going, inner and outer, in bringing this dream to life.? This week I’m exhausted at the thought of even looking at it, so I’m just going to ignore it.? Suffice it to say – it’s going to take a zillion steps and in the process I will defeat a zillion inner critics, fear & limiting beliefs.

OK, I need a catchy name for this series!? But for now I am going to call it what it is: watch me make a big dream real.

I am so grateful to me-from-last-week who started this series and made her commitment public last Friday.? (If you missed it, that post is here)

On Sunday I was doing my regular Sunday stuff, including tidying up in the DreamLoft.? I was enjoying the happy hum of the clothes washer while sweeping and I looked out the window and thought “MAN I am happy here!”.

This space sparkles.? It’s perfect for me.? I thought about how happy I am here and how happy I am doing the work I’m doing.? And, you know, maybe I don’t need to reach for “more”.

Maybe this is enough.? I am already living with so many dreams made real.? I love helping others to do the same as my full-time gig.? Why this push to help so many more people?

side note: This is a good question!? You want to know the WHY behind your dream – you don’t want to go to the work of transforming yourself and bringing a big dream to just to keep up with your neighbours, or because your mom wants you to.? That only brings you further out of alignment with your truth.? But because I use the tools of Creative Dream Incubation my dreams are already aligned with my purpose and soul and heart and creativity.

When I sat with the question, I saw how it was rooted in fear, laziness, resistance and a desire to HIDE.

And I was so grateful I’d made this public commitment and I couldn’t just quietly pack this dream away.? Because that feeling grew the whole rest of Sunday and Monday.

Not just… why bother?? But also a growing feeling that this dream is bigger than me and I am not ready.

And I did want to give up.

But that feeling only lasted until Tuesday.? I think that’s a really important thing to remember when you feel like giving up: it’s just a feeling.? Feelings change.? Don’t give up.

On Tuesday I posted my 100 Reasons Why I Can Do This.? If you did not read that post, READ IT NOW and then make your own list.

On Tuesday I felt great!? I led a free tele-class on How To Stay In The Magic No Matter What Is Happening Around You and it was amazing.

Participants were having the most amazing realizations and I could feel the magic sparkling in the air. I am in love with my work, and with the people who show up to play with me.

Then I went to see a doctor about a rash I’ve got on my legs.? It’s itchy and gross and I had tried every natural thing there is and it’s still CRAZY ITCHY.? Doctor gave me some drugs – an anti-itch pill and a rash-healing cream.

Wednesday I woke up 2 hours later than usual which I NEVER do.? I felt groggy all day.? The last time I took a pharmaceutical was about 10 years ago.? I am so sensitive even Advil makes me loopy, but this stuff REALLY makes me loopy.

Loopy, groggy, mellow and ready for a nap.? That’s how I felt all day.? Kind of the opposite energy of “THIS IS MY DREAM AND I AM MAKING IT REAL, DAMNIT!”

But I remembered this:

When you commit to your dream, everything that happens next happens to support you in the process of bringing that dream to life.

Everything.

The things we think of as obstacles, roadblocks and the universe “testing us” are actually doorways into new possibilities. It’s just our seeing them as obstacles, roadblocks as tests keeps us from seeing the possibility, opening the door and stepping into dreamland.

Pills that make me groggy are actually tiny little doorways into a new possibility.? Pills that make me groggy are here to HELP ME make my dream real.? So, thank you pills!? I will be learning more about you and the superpowers you are here to share with me over the next three weeks.

So being groggy and slowing down right when I think I need to speed up is good.

I’m already seeing that – it’s so easy to get caught up in all the details of things to do when growing a business.? It’s so important to stay connected – heart to heart and soul to soul – with the purpose of what you are creating.

Then you’re coming from a place of real power.?? Like a giant at the bottom of the sea can flick his fingers are create a huge waterfall up on the surface.? And a person up on the surface can use all the energy they have to flail about and not displace anywhere near as much water.

The deeper down you do, the more power you have.? That’s how Creative Soul Alchemy works.

What I did this week:

Last Friday I said I wanted to figure out what I am going to DO and I did it!? I made a list of what I need to be doing every day and every week to stay in the flow of making this dream real.

I’ve created 3 sections: daily practice, weekly practice and business things (the work).

Daily Practice:

• Meditation A (A being quiet stillness deep connection, no Creative Soul Alchemy work)
• Meditation B (B being transforming energy, lots of Creative Soul Alchemy work)
• Journaling
• Artmaking

So of the daily practice things, only one (Meditation B) is actually focused on making the dream real.? Everything else is focused on nurturing me.

Before a tree can grow bigger branches and more leaves, it needs a larger root system.? Same goes for dreamers.

I always did meditate, journal and make art most days.? Now I am deepening my commitment in the name of growing larger roots.

Weekly Practice:

Right now I only have 1 weekly practice, this may change.? Every week, I want to spend some time re-reading my favourite business books and e-courses and exploring new ones.? A steady stream of information, inspiration and ideas for my brain.

Starting with Unveiling The Heart of Your Business.? The first business book I read that was profoundly helpful, because it puts all business stuff into spiritual terms – it speaks my language and approaches business as a beautiful heart-nurturing thing.

(Unveiling The Heart of Your Business is highly highly highly recommended)

The first time I read it I was soooo new to business and still had a lot of negative/limiting ideas about what business is, that I had to step over and work around before I could get anywhere.? Now that I have cleared a lot of that, I am interested to see what new gifts I find in this amazing program.

But, since I’m telling the truth here, I will share that I didn’t get to this this week.? I did put it on my iPad so I could easily take it to the coffee shop to play with.? But that was my plan for Wednesday afternoon and I was just soooo groggy from the new pills I took a nap instead.

Self-Compassion is a good companion on the path to making a big dream real.

But having compassion for not doing the things you said you’d do is not compassionate at all – it’s an unconscious self-sabotage system.

The greatest act of compassion is to hold yourself to your commitment to being the person you want to be.

In the grand scheme of things, do you want to have your dream made REAL or do you want to be coddled in your excuses?

I want my dream.? And I want to be compassionate towards myself in the process – so loving and compassionate towards myself that I keep the promises I make to myself.? So I am re-committing.? In fact, I am promising to spend some time with Unveiling The Heart of Your Business this weekend.

Actual Business Things:

This is where I found a really interesting question:

Is it enough to step up what I have been doing or do I need to create a totally new plan?

(I’m going to write a whole post about that question for Dreamtastic.? It’s a really genius kind of question to be asking + exploring and it helped me figure out what to DO with this new business goal of mine.)

I did my How To Stay In The Magic tele-class.

These classes take me about 2 days to create, prep for, facilitate and recover from.? Because we’re doing deep down Creative Soul Alchemy – shifting energy, healing wounds and dissolving blocks, it takes a lot of energy to create and hold that kind of space.

My free tele-classes are NOT just promotional things where I try to convince you to sign up for my programs.? They are helpful + inspiring actual classes.? But they ARE a promotional tool in that once people experience the magic of working with me, they tend to want more.

The Creative Dream Initiation is the same thing… a helpful and inspiring Try Before You Buy for the Creative Dream Circle.

I also:

• Updated the Creative Dream Incubator page.
• Scheduled the next Incubator session to start on January 28.
• Brainstormed how I want to promote the Creative Dream Incubator in January.
• Posted about the Creative Dream HOLYday: Virtual Playdate & Creative Dream Retreat happening on January 3.
• Wrote 2 Dreamtastic posts: 100 Reasons Why You Can Do This and How To Blend Lots of Dreams Together.
• Came up with a system for scheduling things on Facebook so instead of posting everything at once when I’m there, the posts are more spread out.
• Started re-arranging things inside the Creative Dream Circle to make space for the new stuff.
• Met up with Lisa Wilson from Being Breath?to talk about our videocast, part of 21 Secrets LIVE in 2014.? Wowee we’re going to throw an amazing creative playdate together.? (Join 21 Secrets LIVE right here – weekly video streaming art journal playdates!? With 21 different inspiring teachers!)? This is not directly related, and I said yes to this project not to grow my business but because it seemed like it would be so fun.? But collaborative projects like this do get your work out to new audiences.
• Wrote this post.

?When I look at it like this I feel disappointed, like I did too little.

Even though How To Stay In The Magic took a lot of bandwidth this week.? Even though I’m on this new prescription that is making me groggy.

Hey… No Matter How Much I Do It’s Not Enough… I see you there and I choose a different perspective.? I remind you of how much inner work it takes to schedule + announce new classes.? I remind you that I’m giving time and attention and love to each thing, doing fewer things but doing them with more care.? I remind you that this post itself is MONSTROUS and it takes time to write MONSTROUS blog posts.

And, I’m writing this on Thursday afternoon.? I still have all of Friday to do the rest of the things on my list.

Oh, what’s that?? I finished my list?

So, can we call this enough then?? Yes.? Deal.

And Friday afternoon I can go out for coffee and a cookie and leisurely plan out what I want to do next week.? And while I’m at in, I can even get started re-reading Unveiling The Heart of Your Business.

My plans for next week:

Well on Monday I’m doing this:

It’s free, click here to join!

And I’m going to work on a plan for all the behind-the-scenes things I want to have done by January to start this mission with a BANG.

Scoreboard:

I got this idea this morning, to keep a running tally.? Mostly, at the end of this I would like to be able to show that Hey you can have a lot of monsters + obstacles to overcome… and still make that dream real.

Monsters = limiting beliefs, inner critics, fears

Obstacles = outer things that come up and seem to be thwarting my plans

Sold Steps Taken = though there have been millions of baby steps, I am counting each thing in the “Things I Did” section.

Monsters Overcome: 4

What you have already is good enough, I am not ready, I want to give up, No matter how much I do it’s not enough

Obstacles Navigated: 1

New prescription makes me groggy + loopy

Solid Steps Taken: 11

Not a bad start.