This has been a hell of a week.

I think it started last Friday, when I did my first new-style Creative Dream Check-In.? All year I’d been writing weekly updates on my blog, and then I wanted to change to check-in that happens only in the weekly sharing circles we do inside the Creative Dream Circle.? Now what I want to do is less writing-an-update and more a weekly practice of connecting more deeply with my dream.

That was amazing.

And it opened up a lot of stuff.

This is normal.? As I got in touch with new things I want, I also got in touch with the parts of me that are afraid that I can’t have those things.? The stories about how life has to be.? The inner critics who just want me to stay put where I am.

The result: huge shifts in my inner landscape.? Which is super awesome and super hard at the same time.

And in the midst of that I realised why it was so important that I stop writing updates on my blog and I wanted to share that with you.

Those updates were censored!? I mean they were totally true.? But while I was writing them I was trying to make sense of the process.? I wanted to explain it in a way that would be easy for you to understand.? Makes sense, right?? Wrong.? The process doesn’t make sense!

Because dreams are never really about the thing you want to have happen on the outside.? They’re all about becoming who you become as you go after the dream.? It’s about internal transformation which is messy and illogical.

My dreams needed more space to be messy and illogical because straight lines can only get you so far.

In theory, there’s nothing wrong with me wanting to tell the stories in a way that makes sense.? But we tend to live our stories – the ones we tell and the ones we try to hide and the ones we’ve buried so deep we forgot they’re there.

By trying to force my growing dreams into a logical story I was starting to suffocate them.? This wasn’t a problem before.? But right now I’m at the starting point of a growth spurt and I, and my dreams, need all the mess and illogical-ness we can get.

Right now I need to be with my new dream seeds in that open space of deep energetic connection, where there are no words or logic.? (For Creative Dream Circle members: more on this in Module 2 of the Creative Dream Incubator e-Course)

This is shifting things in ways I don’t understand yet, but I can feel them.? And that is why this was a hell of a week!

It’s like internal renovations.

I’m at the part where I can’t use my kitchen sink, my stove is in the living room and the bathroom has no door so everything is just super awkward.? At the same time, everything is also super exciting because renovations!

While I believe that following your dreams is the path to radiant authenticity, deep soul fulfillment and creative delight – I don’t always know what my dream is.

For a long time, I had one dream that eclipsed all other dreams: the dream to be sustainably creatively self-employed.

That dream took a lot of different shapes before turning into what I do today.? I failed with many ventures and struggled a lot.? But no matter where I was on the path, the bright light of that dream was illuminating the path.

These days, it’s different.

I’ve discovered that the dream of being sustainably creatively self-employed really wasn’t about work or money or art.? It was about empowerment and authenticity and living in a way that is true to my heart.

And there is a softness and delight about living in tune with my heart and it’s that softness and delight that lights up the path now.? And it shines in a different way.? Not so bright and sharp.? It’s more diffuse and almost feels like it’s shining inside me, not outside.

So the things I move towards, the dreams I am working on, have changed.? The direction has changed, I don’t feel like I am moving towards things so much as moving towards my actual self.

So I’m moving towards being more in tune with my heart even though I don’t always know what that means, in a practical sense.? I just follow what feels right.

When my car needed to be replaced last year, getting another car didn’t feel right.? What felt right was to walk, I wrote about that here.

Walking was delightful in the fall, winter and early spring and then I started to think about getting a bike, though I hadn’t ridden a bike in 20 years.

I didn’t know if I would like it, I was sure I’d be too terrified to drive in traffic, but wondered if I could at least ride to the park so I could sit under a tree on hot summer days, because walking there in the heat felt annoying.

There were a lot of of unknowns, I had a lot of questions about how this was going to work, but this is where the path was leading, so I decided to get a bike.

I got this fabulous bike, in purple.? (I’m sure my happy bike story has a lot to do with going to a great bike shop and having someone help me find the exact right bike for me.)

That bike changed everything.

It’s not just that a bike could get me around faster.

A bike introduced me to a whole new way of getting around my city – there are so many connected bike paths that I didn’t know about!? Or I knew about parts of them, here and there, but didn’t know how they’re all connected.? Or the delight of crossing rivers on pedestrian bridges.

And I didn’t know how FUN it would be to ride them – walking a path really is different.

And I didn’t know how much happier I would be if I was riding every day.? Or how good it would feel to feel stronger which I definitely am as I’ve averaged between 15-20 km/day on the bike for the past 6 months.

It’s safe to say I fell in love with cycling.? I took my bike in for a tune-up this week and needed a ton of new parts because, as the mechanic said “I have ridden the pants off this thing.”

I thought there was no way I could/would ride in traffic, but I do.? Though I’ve also found that I am usually happy to take a longer route to avoid busy streets.

Honestly, I used to see people cycling and assume I could never be one of those people.? And now here I am.

What I have found is that following your dreams will take you to surprising places and show you ways of living and being that make you happy, deep down in your bones – even when you’re not sure of what you want.

Your dream is your soul calling you towards your actual self. Your dreams lead you towards your most authentic life, which is the life that you are here to live. Always.

This is how dreams work. All of them.

It’s actually impossible for your dream to be impossible because your dream is only leading you to yourself.

This means it?s never true that:

• you?re not good enough
• you?re not ready
• it?s impossible

Never. Those are bullshit stories that keep you stuck right where you are.

Your job is to transcend them.

Most of us soulful creative beings are also highly sensitive. We feel the pain of these stories and it can be very easy to get stuck in it. So much so that transcending can feel impossible.

Or we sense the pain in these stories so we carefully try to avoid them, which only sounds like a good idea until you discover the fact that you can only avoid them by avoiding your dreams.

Plus these stories have been going on for so long, and have so many chapters, each one leading you down a different path of dream-avoidance, that it can just be stupidly complicated to figure it all out.

So let me simplify it for you.

Any time you are feeling like you?re not good enough, any time when you wonder if maybe you can?t do it – you?re listening to the wrong voice and you’re moving in the wrong direction.

(For Creative Dream Circle members – this means get yourself into The Un-Sticking Station ASAP.? It will lead you step by step through the process of transforming the stuck and get you feeling good and moving towards what you want.)

These feelings are things to transform, not things to believe, figure out or wallow in.

The transformation of these things is the path to your dream.

I want to say that again: the transformation of these things is the path to your dream.

Do NOT fall for the assumption that having these thoughts and feelings means your dream is not possible.? EVERYONE doubts themselves.? EVERYONE feels like their dreams are impossible.?

Dealing with this stuff is just a part of the process.

You wouldn’t HAVE the dream if you weren’t ready to move towards it – I promise.

In my many years of helping people bring their dreams to life I have yet to meet anyone who wasn’t ready.? Whenever we work both creatively and intuitively to map out the path – possibilities and miracles emerge.

Seriously – your intuition will never say “Oh, you’re stuck.? Give up.”

There IS a way and you ARE wise enough to find it.

I’ve got two programs starting next week that can help:

A deep-dive energy healing of your relationship with power. With creative play and glitter markers.

Why Power?? POWER is the thing that animates all soul qualities. Think: Creativity. Authenticity. Abundance. Freedom. It brings them to life, in your life.

So the more personal power you can access, the more gorgeousness you can create in your world and in the world around you.

This makes power the fuel that brings all dreams to life.

I’ve got some amazing things to share about POWER in the Superpowers Creative Journal Class, happening October 24. Click here to read more.

Clarity.? Momentum.? Success.

Evolve into the best coach/healer/teacher/helper-person you can be.

Group coaching for Coaches, Healers & Teachers only: you can use this group to grow your business, create new programs, or find ways to do your work with more ease and less depletion.

Starting October 21. Click here to read more.

If you want to join SHINE but the call times don’t work for you – email me!? I’m adding a second call to accommodate people who can’t attend at this time.? If you’re feeling called to be a part of this, we’ll make it happen.

FYI For Creative Dream Circle members: I’ve posted a totally different post inside the Circle for this week’s Creative Dream Sharing Circle.

In December 2013 I made a promise to write a weekly update for all of 2014 to share the process of making a big dream real.

But it’s not feeling right anymore, because the updates (in my brain anyway) are connected to the dream I was working on when I started this – a dream which has morphed into something different.

Plus something about the word UPDATE and the energy behind it doesn’t fit with where I am right now.

Though the updates inspired the Weekly Sharing Circle, inside the Creative Dream Circle, which I adore and I don’t want to stop those.

So for the past few weeks I’ve been sitting with the fact that I don’t want to keep doing these updates in the way that I’ve been doing them.

I paid attention to how I was feeling and started to explore what I wanted to do instead.? There is too much good stuff tied up in the updates that I do want to hold onto, so I didn’t want to just throw the whole thing away.? Plus I know that if you just stop as soon as it gets uncomfortable you don’t ever get anywhere.

But now I’m starting to see a new way, so I’m ready to let go of this and start exploring the new path.

Less of an update, more of a Creative Dream Check-In.

Less a blog post, more a practice (though I do want to share it).

Deep communion with my dream.

And a warm invitation for YOU and your dream to join me.

Right now I need some quiet space to sort this out – it’s about a lot more than ending a series of blog posts.? There is a new way of interacting with my dreams that is ready to emerge and I’m excited to learn more about it.

Some announcements:

SHINE Group Coaching for Coaches, Healers & Teachers is starting soon.

This is a gorgeous group for working through the unique challenges you face as a helper-person.

You can use this group as a support system to help you

* create and launch a new class, program or coaching offering

* step up your business to start helping MORE people

* figure out what your next steps are in your growth as a helper-person

* find ways to do your work with less depletion and more ease

I’m happy to share anything and everything I’ve learned on my path, plus do intuitive healing work with you to support you in activating more of your unique gifts.? Click here to find out more.

Recently I was invited to be an expert on the 2014 Inspired Livelihood Inspired Entrepreneur panel along with 14 high earning creative entrepreneurs. UNlike many other no-cost tele-summits, no one is trying to sell you anything and none of us are making any money from this course. We?re simply openly sharing how we?ve made a real livelihood doing work we love.

I?m excited to share this with you because it completely shatters the myth of the starving artist.

In these friendly conversations we all share how we got started in turning our interest into income and what we wish we?d known when we were first starting out. We hold back no secrets about what it took to grow a successful business, the challenges we?ve faced and obstacles we?ve overcome.

You can access the whole series HERE and listen to it at your leisure.

I’m starting this update feeling like nothing really happened this week and I don’t have anything to update you about! So I’m going to the journal prompts for keeping on track with your dreams for help.

My dream is: Changing! As I’ve been connecting more with my Dream Self and learning more about how she is different from me I am getting clearer on what I want next, but I am not all the way at clarity just yet.

I want it because: I want to keep moving towards my most authentic, most free and most powerful self.

When I have it I will feel: The past six months or so I’ve noticed that feelings feel different.? Like there is more space inside me for the qualities I want.? So happiness isn’t just happy – now it has room to dance around inside me.? I feel more free, more deeply grounded, more inspired and happier.? I imagine this will just keep opening up as I keep moving towards what is true for me.

What happened in the last week?

A lot of self-care.? I’ve been sad about saying goodbye to summer and not wanting to let go of how much joy riding my bike everywhere has brought me.? (And also not willing to experiment with winter cycling – I mean I DO want to, and I could dress for it and get winter tires but I don’t want to share the icy roads with cars who can’t stop as fast as they think they can)

I’m discovering and re-discovering a lot of things to help make this better.

I’ve also been working on my new coaching programs – next week I’ll have the new dates up for SHINE: Group Coaching for Coaches, Healers, Teachers & Helper-People.? This is a 4 week group focused on helping you evolve into the best coach/healer/teacher/helper-person you can be.

How do I feel about this?

I’m really excited about the new stuff I want to do with my one-on-one work.? I am so inspired by what my clients are doing now, and want to help them reach for even bigger dreams.

What do I need now?

To be patient (ugh!) about giving what’s next time and space to emerge.? To be more OK with not-quite-knowing right now.

What does my dream need now?

My dream is a sparkling lotus that is in outer space (?).? It’s too far away from me for me to really be able to connect with it, but this is exactly where it needs to be right now.? It whispers at me to trust the process and work on my part for now.

Taking all of this into account, my next mission is: keep on keepin’ on.

Patience. Trust. Self-Care.

I can see how my new fall self-care routines (yoga before bed, meditation first thing when I wake up – 10 minutes each is enough but more is better) are really supporting what is emerging next.

I want to add that I want to do more journaling, more sewing, more art.? But I always feel that way, that I’m not doing enough.? (For Circle members: I posted some creative journaling I did with the “You’re Not Doing Enough” voice in the Un-Sticking Station this week)

So how about this week I experiment with believing that I AM doing enough?? That feels good.