For the last two years or so, I’ve wanted to do some kind of tele-summit.? I’ve met tons of amazing people online who would be perfect guests and I could see that it would be a great way to grow my audience.

But I haven’t done it.

And every time I thought about doing it, it just somehow ended up at the bottom of my list.

Finally, last year I took some time to think about it because it really didn’t make sense to keep dragging it around at the bottom of my list of ideas.? I mean if I’m not going to do it, let it go, right?

Except, no.? Letting it go didn’t quite feel right even though a part of me was desperate to just stop thinking about this idea.

I was all tangled up about it.? I wanted to do it, but I was also sure that it was impossible.? I’m to introverted ad sensitive and easily exhausted.? I’m not “big” enough.? No one would come anyway, what’s the point?

So I used the Crazy Smart Wisdom Council tool in the Creative Dream Circle to help me get at my inner truth, unobscured by doubt and fear and sad, old stories about limitations and lack.

And my deep down inner truth is that this would be an ideal way for me to open the door wider to let more people into my world.

Which was kind of a surprise because I thought my inner truth would be that I’m too quiet and introverted to do that kind of thing and I should let it go.

Secretly I was hoping my inner truth would lead me to some other way of growing my audience, something that didn’t feel so scary.

Also, I was positive that if I didn’t do it in the way that everyone does it (being pretty pushy about sales towards the end of it with some crazy “buy now or the price doubles!” kind of thing) then it wouldn’t generate sales and it would just cost me a lot of time and money.

But our small selves lie a lot.

At that point, I wasn’t sure when or how I would do it, but I did decide that I would stop listening to my bullshit stories about how I can’t do this.

Fast forward to late last year, when the idea for Grow Your Depth found me.

Now, I am absolutely in love with Grow Your Depth, Nurture Your Brilliance and all of the miracles it’s going to generate for everyone over the course of the next year.

I am so lit up about this program.

I want to love and celebrate it in the way that it deserves to be loved and celebrated.

And THAT is when I saw the summit in a new light – as a beautiful and bright way of celebrating Grow Your Depth.? Instead of a hype-y “internet summit” I saw it as deep, meaningful conversations.

I felt it as a warm, open doorway to a whole new world of possibility.

Opening the doors and letting you into this amazing community of dreamers and magic-makers that I have discovered on the path to living authentically with my dreams.? And inviting you to explore the possibilities that are truly waiting for you.

So, this part is important: I let my love and enthusiasm for Grow Your Depth be the fuel for the tele-class series.

Too often, when you look at doing something that feels “big and impossible” you’re being fueled by a fear of failure, desire to prove your worth, or the idea that this is what you have to do to get to where you want to be, in a “grin and bear it” kind of way.

Your inner critic is the source of all of those fuels, and as long as your inner critic is fueling you, it’s going to be a bumpy road that is not likely to lead you to where you actually want to be.

When you can shift into allowing love, joy and enthusiasm be your fuel – you step into a totally different story.

Of course, you also need a strong and clear intuitive connection for guidance, which is why I always use the Crazy Smart Wisdom Council in the Creative Dream Circle – to help turn down the volume on doubt, fear and “doing it the way other people say I should” and turn up the volume on my own inner wisdom.

And you need practices that make it easier for you to trust your heart.? And community to support you and your dreams.? All the exact juicy stuff that is a part of Grow Your Depth was exactly what I needed to help me do this in a nurturing, supportive and fun way.

And then you can find nurturing, fun, safe ways to do the impossible thing.

That’s when I decided to let go of my original idea to do this as a “big thing” and instead to it at a size that felt comfortable and do-able to me.

That’s when I narrowed the list of potential guests to mostly people that I knew really well and felt comfortable with, plus a few people that I don’t know quite as well but felt really, really called to invite.

That’s when I saw how I could increase my self-care practices to not just replenish my energies – but stay inspired and happy and optimistic and really really enjoy the experience.

Oh, enjoyment!

See, I had thought that, because this thing felt impossible, that doing it would have to be hard.

And the truth is, I was CRAZY nervous before the first call.? Which is why I had picked Chris Zydel to be my first guest, because having her there made me feel less nervous.

By listening to my intuition and trusting my inspiration, I found that for everything that I thought would be a problem – I found a solution.

And I did get exhausted.? But then I rested and re-fueled.? (I’ve spent most of this weekend painting + sewing and have an Ayurvedic treatment booked for Tuesday to help replenish my energy)

And I also had a lot of fun and had a lot of really gorgeous moments.

I’m so happy and glad that I DID IT.? I did the impossible thing.

And now, the best part, is that I am a person who did this thing that she was sure that she couldn’t do.

That opens up so many more doorways for what I may do next!? Which is the best feeling ever.

It changes how I see myself.? It changes how I feel about myself.? It changes how I see the path in front of me.

Can you feel that?

Can you feel how finding an enjoyable and nourishing way to do the thing you think you can’t do changes your entire experience of yourself, your life and your possibilities?

Can you feel how learning how to heal and transform fear and doubt while learning how to take better care of your creativity and bolster your intuition and inner gifts will change your possibilities?

If you’ve got something you want to do that feels impossible, I want to invite you to join in me Grow Your Depth, Nurture Your Brilliance.? Together, we can find safe, creative and enjoyable ways for you to move forward into the life you want to be living.

We start Monday, January 19.? But you can join today and get instant access to all of my other courses and give yourself some time to settle into the Circle before we start this new adventure.

One year ago, I wrote a year in review for 2014 where I explored how I wanted to feel and what I wanted to have accomplished by the end of this year.

At that time, I had this clear and specific goal for what I wanted to do with my business, though pursuing that goal in 2014 led me to discover that I didn’t actually want it.

But when I look back at that year in review I wrote before the year started, I can see that I got all of the things that I REALLY wanted – all of the inner things that I had hoped reaching my goal would bring me.

Which is the perfect example of how your dream is a lighthouse that is leading you home.

Pursing that dream didn’t lead me to getting what I wanted on the outside, but it did lead me to feeling the way I want to feel and experiencing my life and business in the way that I want to experience them.

So it did get to me to exactly where I wanted to be.

I learned to trust myself to take care of myself, in a deeper way.? I can’t really put this one into words to explain how this feels.? Kind of like living on more solid ground.?

I trust myself to take care of myself, to do the things that fill me up and light me up and not feel like I need to deplete myself or do stuff I don’t want to do, in exchange for money or exchange for anything else.

I feel (finally!) integrated in the way of living that I know is right for me – to put self-care first, to keep the well full so I can do my best quality work.? And to trust this to sustain me, even when this looks like lots of picnics and bike rides and not a lot of work happening.

As a person raised in a home full of perfectionism and workaholism, this is quite revolutionary.

I feel quiet and peaceful on the inside.? Like my sense of inner peace grew to take up more space this year.

I turned forty. I stopped colouring my grey hair.? I traded my car for a bike.? I had adventures.? I deepened by creative practices.? I returned to a daily yoga practice.? I went from sewing sometimes, to sewing ALL of my clothes.? I started some big art projects and settled more fully into living in the dream loft and filling it up with my art.

And, obviously, I filled a few journals.

I’m really living the way I want to live and I can’t explain how grateful I am for this.

I mean, I’m still cranky some days.? I get angry and lonely and sad and frustrated and afraid.? Things happened that broke my heart and made me stop believing in myself.

And I deal with the crap and come back to center faster and faster.

And each time I work through that process, I am actually becoming more grounded in my center and so I have come to love and appreciate the cranky times for the un-describable gifts they contain.

In light of all of this, the fact that I didn’t reach my income goal for 2014 seems pretty small.

And the fact that my creative business did generate enough income for me to live the way I want to live in all senses of that and not just in the sense of being able to buy tons of crap, feels pretty fucking amazing.? It feels like success.

Financially – I didn’t go into debt.? I increased my savings – by a small amount, but still.? I’m calling it a win.

And the last few months of this year brought me to what I want for next year: Grow Your Depth, Nurture Your Brilliance.

I am wildly inspired and deeply terrified as I venture into this new project, which I have found is the exact place I want to be when creating something new – coming from my established strengths while stretching into new territory.

And deeply grateful for the Creative Dream Incubator which holds and sustains it all.? And deeply deeply grateful to each of you.

Wishing you all the best in 2015.