This is the mantra I got in this week’s Dream Book journaling + alchemy kit: I have the courage to dream brighter

Use the meditation for the weekly mantras to dig in deeper to the mantra, or put your hands on your heart and take five deep slow breaths and repeat to yourself:

I have the courage to dream brighter.

Notice where this lands in your body, what thoughts and feelings get sparked.

There is no right or wrong way to react. But your actual thoughts and feelings can tell you something about what you need right now.

How it lands for me: like WHOA.

Creative Dreaming does take so much courage. I feel like... WHOA... I have been brave. I really have! Instead of looking at what I haven't yet accomplished, I suddenly feel so proud of me for all I HAVE accomplished, including all of the inner stuff that doesn't really look like anything measurable.

The world feel so dark. Dreaming BRIGHTER in response feels exhausting.

Underneath that is this knowing that dreaming brighter is the only actual option.

There is this place I want to be that I can't quite get to, or haven't yet. But this does not negate that I am actually in a really beautiful place.

As I've been sitting with this... I have the courage to dream brighter... I have felt courage and acceptance growing in me.

Acceptance that... it's not going to get easier. My next level dreams need to build from here, from where I am.

I say this to people ALL THE TIME - the path begins here, where you are right now - because there are so many ways that we WAIT to be somewhere different before doing the things we know we need to do.

And I can see ways that I have been waiting to feel ready to BE brighter before I can DREAM brighter.

I'm in a really hard place with perimenopause and I am working with my doctor but it could take a few more months for my body to adjust. I can't keep waiting to feel better, I need to dream FROM HERE.

Which means: adjusting my plans.

I think this happens a lot - with any kind of illness or difficult life situation. We want to wait for "things to calm down" before we can give it our all.

It's so much more powerful to find ways to take little steps, even if they are so small they seem invisible sometimes.

So the question it leaves me with is: what does DREAMING BRIGHTER look like from where I am? And I'm going to think about that this week.

If you want to work on this with me:

If I have the courage to dream brighter feels good and encouraging, hold it with you today. Look at problems, questions, stucks and obstacles through this lens and see what ideas it brings.

If it brings up some discomfort - that’s your stuff to work on. To do that work, in the Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership we’ve got the un-sticking station and the library of inner work practices. If you’re not sure what practice to use, you can email me, or post in our forum, let me know what’s going on and I will make some suggestions for tools you can use.

 

Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

“You can’t say that. A lot of grifters say that.”  That voice has been silently editing my words and directing me away from promoting my free YOU ARE THE MAGIC guided journal in the ways I wanted to.

And I haven’t been questioning it.

Because yeah, I’m not a grifter. And actually my own definition of what grifting is is a lot stricter than most… So why would I do what THEY do?

But on the other hand, why would I NOT question an inner voice that is directing me away from something I am trying to do?

I know how sneaky the inner critic can be.

I know that fears and doubts like to go undercover and present themselves as the voice of reason.

So, here I am, questioning it.

I get that a lot of the people who are trying to sell you a free e-book that will help you make all of your dreams come true are horrible scammers or very naive, out of touch and un-helpful people. But why should that stop me from giving away THIS free e-book that ACTUALLY DOES help people see how to make all of their dreams come true?

Because that puts you into the same category as the scammers.

Are you upset that I MADE this e-book?

“Can you stop calling it an e-book? It’s a guided journal.” This is not that same voice, seems like maybe my creative spirit jumping in “I know you’re giving it away as a .pdf just like a free e-book but it’s a hand-drawn work of art”

Yeah, ok. I’ll call it a free hand-drawn guided journal but please, I need to speak to this one voice at a time. I can’t have an inner jumble making everything seem more complicated than it is.

So, voice, are you upset that I MADE this hand-drawn guided journal?

No. This is special and wonderful and HELPFUL. I’m glad you made it and I want people to have it.

Ok good!!! Because I feel like letting them know how helpful it is, how it really can help them make their dreams happen, is a good thing then?

This voice felt like a solid entity and now it’s like…  kind of like just a pile of confetti that is quickly blowing away in a slight breeze. It’s not solid.

So I’ve been letting confetti control me all this time? Hold me back from promoting this beautiful thing that I made to share?

The confetti takes the form of a snake. “Girl! It’s so much more complicated than that! You know damn well YOU want to hold yourself back.”

Well, yeah.

The snake lights a candle and invites me to sit down.

"You have a beautiful, helpful, sold, and magical body of work. You have spent decades developing it. You are putting it out into a market full of grifters and nonsense."

Well… I mean it’s not like I think EVERYONE operating in this industry is a grifter or peddling nonsense. There are so many good people doing amazing healing work.

The snake urges me to go on, it can tell I am hesitating because to continue this line of thinking would change my perspective.

Actually I guess it’s just a lot of the ads I see are nonsense, they don’t represent the majority of the people working in the industry.

OK that thought “A free e-book, or artfully hand-drawn guided journal even, that will help you make your dreams come true FEELS TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE” is true.

Does a part of me feel like this book is too good to give away?

Not really. I made it to give away, to introduce people to my work, which is fucking incredible.As amazing as this book is, working with me is better.

No, it’s that the thought “A free e-book, or artfully hand-drawn guided journal even, that will help you make your dreams come true FEELS LIKE A SCAM AND PEOPLE WILL JUDGE ME”

THAT is the thought that has been stopping me. The fear of judgement.

The snake is clapping for me.

"Yes. It’s important to see this. If you WANT that thought to stop you - then by all means, carry on."

"Do you want that thought to stop you?"

No.

If the choice is either get my work into the hands of more of the people that it’s for OR never be judged…

I mean the people who would judge this are already judging me. That’s not something I can control.

To put myself in a place where I can NEVER be judged is not possible but if I was trying I would have to dim my light, deny my authentic self and make myself overwhelmed and miserable AND, again, it’s not possible so I would still not succeed.

To listen to my own heart and to pursue my dreams wholeheartedly is to receive judgement. To live my life on my terms is to receive judgement. 

Dominant culture demands conformity and judging non-conformity is one of the ways we uphold dominant culture’s values - mostly unconsciously. Judgement is inevitable in this culture.

The snake is motioning at me to come back to where I was… about making a choice.

Well it’s obvious, the choice is to be true to myself.

I made this thing to share. I can tell that energetically and emotionally and mentally I am holding back and so when I physically go to do a thing to share this, it’s like… the pieces aren’t quite connecting.

Just having this conversation with this imaginary snake made of confetti is shifting this though.

I can do the outer work of putting this out there, and I have been, but I have NOT been doing the dream work and inner work, so the work is not working.

This is what I am always saying in the Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership - to keep checking on the Dream Work, Inner Work and Outer Work. 

The framework is not there to make sure you never have a mis-step! It’s there to help you diagnose what is going on, so you can see more clearly what is needed now.

 

Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

Yesterday I did the Acclimating to your Dream practice.

In the meditation I remembered the sensation of climbing the hills in the woods last week. How beautiful and magical AND effort-full it was.

I did wish I could just step out of the cabin and be on the lake. It's not an easy path to get there - it's the kind of path that not everyone who can walk can actually take, between the steepness and the uneven terrain and the paths were not clearly marked. (I did get lost twice, like significantly lost, coming out of the woods far from where I meant to be. But I had my phone with cell coverage so I could find my way back once I was on the road)

It's kind of like the path to a dream - like WTF why isn't there just a nice, easy, obvious, paved road to go down?

But in the meditation I remembered how ENLIVENING it felt to climb that hill. I remembered really being in the moment and enjoying that part, not just seeing it as a means to an end. I remembered feeling like it was hilarious that I kept getting lost.

That's where I want to be with my dreams. Enjoying and feeling enlivened by the process, loving the little detours, not just waiting to "get there".

 

Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

This morning I didn't know where to start.

So I went to the Creative Dream Alchemy Library of Dream Work and the Acclimating to your Dream practice looked good, so I did that.

As soon as the meditation started I was glad I had chosen this one, it just felt right.

In the beginning of the meditation, it was such a relief to make space for what I am thinking and feeling going into the meditation. I’m foggy, I have things on my mind, I don’t feel “totally ready” to meditate. That’s all ok.

Then, the part where I am making space for what I want to get out of this… delicious! I want to FEEL LIKE the version of me who is doing the thing. Not the version of me who is climbing these steep steps.

Oh! Now I am remembering being at the cabin in the woods last week.

Everywhere the terrain was rocky and steep. The rocks in the Canadian Shield are pretty flat, but uneven, so combined with how steep the ground was going up and down, it was a lot! AND it was SO GORGEOUS AND MAGICAL.

So, I am remembering the effort of the steep incline, being careful about where I was putting my feet and being enamoured with how gorgeous and magical everything was AND feeling ALIVE with the effort of it.

So… the effort of getting there felt good. AND being at the top felt so satisfying.

I want to be “at the top of the hill” with this dream.

I really loved holding my dream in my HANDS, when it was time to put it in my HEART that felt a bit uncomfortable. Like am I ready for this?

I kept breathing and sitting with it and yes I did feel ready.

The message I got was: I need to be deeper in the work. Like don’t just do the work to get to where I want to be, really BE IN THE MAGIC of each moment.

Think about how I enjoyed the actual climbing in the woods, and not just the part where I was at the top.

Also... maybe there is something to explore there about preparedness.

I had deliberately only brought my Crocs sandals to the cabin - like not even the regular crocs with the band around the back. Just the sandals and I said "If I can't do something in these shoes, I'm not doing it" as I wanted a relaxing and "refill the well" kind of experience.

I have no regrets about that!

AND

What's the equivalent here? Is there I way I could be better prepared, have better tools or supports, which would make the climbing easier AND/OR make it possible to climb other things that are impossible in the sandals?

I will keep thinking about that.

And after the meditation and journaling, I feel really excited to work on some plans that had felt daunting to me yesterday, so this is a win!

 

Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

This is the mantra I got in this week’s Dream Book journaling + alchemy kit: Who I am is more than enough

Use the meditation for the weekly mantras to dig in deeper to the mantra, or put your hands on your heart and take five deep slow breaths and repeat to yourself:

Who I am is more than enough.

Notice where this lands in your body, what thoughts and feelings get sparked.

There is no right or wrong way to react. But your actual thoughts and feelings can tell you something about what you need right now.

How it lands for me: like a healing balm, right in my heart.

All the work we've been doing lately with Your Self Doubt Is Not Yours You Deserve To Believe In Yourself is really sinking in. (If you're not in the membership, you can get that class here)

Sometimes creative dreaming can leave us feeling like who we are today is not enough, like we need to be more and do more.

But that's not EVER true.

Who you are, right here right now, is enough.

You already deserve your dreams.

Because of the ways our minds get infected by dominant culture, especially due to colonialism and capitalism, we can feel like we need to EARN our right to be alive at all, and then we need to do even more to EARN our dreams.

We also learn, in subtle ways through how dominant culture functions, that the people who already have "everything" DESERVE IT more than the people who have nothing. This can leave you feeling like you need to be a better person to deserve your dreams.

None of that is true.

Who you are is more than enough.

If you want to work on this with me:

If Who I am is more than enough feels good and encouraging, hold it with you today. Look at problems, questions, stucks and obstacles through this lens and see what ideas it brings.

If it brings up some discomfort - that’s your stuff to work on. To do that work, in the Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership we’ve got the un-sticking station and the library of inner work practices. If you’re not sure what practice to use, you can email me, or post in our forum, let me know what’s going on and I will make some suggestions for tools you can use.

 

Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

Yesterday we had our monthly Marketing as a Creative + Spiritual Practice call (Membership members, get the replay here) and our conversation was delicious as always.

One person shared that she feels TOO BIG to do things in some of the ways she had been doing, she felt BIGGER than some of the things that were being offered to her and she wanted to spend time re-connecting to her BIGNESS, so she could show up in a bigger way and be receiving bigger opportunities.

It can feel disorienting to be like "I felt bigger before, why did I let myself shrink and how do I re-biggify myself?"

I think everything is cyclical and nothing is constant. We grow, we shrink, we move directions, we find ourselves in new ways at different times in our lives.

That moment of noticing "I am not quite where I wanted to be" and also "I am not where I once was" can feel so discouraging.

But it is an invitation.

I'm feeling a lot of that, in different ways.

Fourteen years ago I was exploring how to set up my work/creative life to support me in the work I wanted to do. After years of exploring and refining my routines and systems - I started to take for granted that I KNOW HOW TO DO THIS.

Well, right now I don't know.

A lot of what I learned about what really works for me...  I'm just not sure it still works. I mean it works - but I want MORE.

BIGGER.

DEEPER.

I've been wanting something to change and it's been hard to identify what, exactly, it is. Or sometimes I can identify what it is, but I can't see a way to get to it.

Listening to what is calling us next is tricky work. It's a process.

But this is what I came back from the creative retreat with:

Creativity is powerful. Like WHOA POWERFUL.

And our creative genius is always bigger than the obstacles.

I know most of my obstacles right now are internal. The self doubt. The resistance. The discomfort of trying new things.

Those long-held patterns around how I show up for my creativity are hard to change... This feels especially frustrating because I set them up very intentionally and deliberately and carefully so that they would serve me.

But nothing works forever.

And I need new routines for where I am now.

It's disorienting to see what needs to change. Disappointing to see "I'm not feeling how I want to feel". Exciting to think of what could change. Exhausting to be the one who has to make the change.

So I'm just going to keep taking messy steps with this.

 

Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

This opportunity to go away for a few days came up very suddenly this weekend. It's right when the weather turned cool and I was so excited to bake and cook. I roasted veggies to make soup and even made fresh bread to eat with it (and timed it so I had it rising in the car on the way there to bake when we got there).

It felt SO GOOD to be preparing to go away and just... retreat. Roasting squash has never been this exciting before, lol!

I have needed this.

Three days AWAY from everything in an idyllic spot that reminds me that the whole world is a miracle.

The way that shifts my perspective.

A chance to take a breath and re-group.

I started hormone replacement therapy and have had a few complications but mostly... my brain and body are starting to work like they used to.

Creative energy is stirring.

All these things I've been dreaming of... it feels like time to begin.

But like... where do I start?

Taking a step back is a good place to start.

It's a log cabin in the woods overlooking a lake. (It's a 6 minute walk down to the dock)

With a screened in hot tub!

It's a 15 minute walk over to a cafe with wifi so I can come check in but mostly I am relaxing and journaling.

I've been writing and dreaming.

Getting more clear on what I want next.

Feeling like I am filling the well with magic.

It's such a miracle to be here it feels like I manifested it.

I didn't have to pay for this trip.

The timing was PERFECT as I didn't have any calls booked, and we'll be back a few hours before the next Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership call.

But a few people from the group who had originally booked it couldn't make it and that really sucks! They were glad someone could go at the last minute who would appreciate it, but obviously it would have been better if they could have had their trip.

So, holding space for how that sucks. How this is such a gift it is to me and it came at a cost to someone else. In the manifesting community I was a part of in the past, they would have said that those people have "stinking thinking" and I am more positive so I deserve it and they don't and this is why the universe gave it to me. I think that's such a shitty shaming judgy way to look at it. We can hold the complexities of how happy I am to be here and how much it sucks that they couldn't come. And how systemic forms of privilege and oppression are usually at the crux of what makes one person more available for the magic than other, and then use that awareness to help level the playing field because we all deserve everything.

(At the same time, energies have been shifting, not just for me. I'm seeing so many good people manifest so many good things. Project Miracle is an epic manifesting program that has been bringing in epic things for people over the last few months. Membership members, get it here. Everyone else, get it here)

 

Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

There is the part of me who believes in my dream.

And the part of me who is afraid it is impossible.

And the part of me who judges me for not already having it.

And it was feeling like these three are vying for control and the judging part was winning. Which sucked!

I drew this out a few times in a few different journals. I've just been sitting with it, not really trying to resolve it, just noticing and being with (which is a form of resolving!).

That part of me who judges me for not already having it... that's so cruel. It's a harsh inner critic who is not helpful in any way. She wants me to have it already because not having it feels, to her, like evidence that I don't deserve it and she can't tolerate the discomfort of that.

The part of me who believes in my dream is like... honey, you don't need to be all tangled up like that. Straighten yourself out. There is no part of me who is undeserving of this AND there is no reason to feel pressure to have it already.

The part of me who is afraid my dream is impossible is too scared to speak up. But is going underground to sabotage any progress because that's less painful than giving it my all, and then failing.

I need to keep the part of me who believes in my dreams FIRMLY in the leadership role. This vying for control thing is brutal.

What helps with that? DREAM WORK.

Specifically (for Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members):

• Dream Lab practice
• Dream Self practice
• Daily time with Dream Book - either go to the next thing on the checklist or look through your Dream Book, re-read pages, add stuff, etc.
• Any of the Dream Work practices or classes

 

Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.