I woke up feeling stuck but I did manage to get myself dressed, and on my bike, and to a favourite bakery/coffee shop which is where I am now, enjoying amazing coffee and the creamiest quiche tart in the world.
Still, I feel stuck.
So, stuck, can we talk?
😩 Argh. Ugh. I don't know. I guess. Remember when you rode your bike past that house and could hear a man screaming "FUCK" over and over and you were kind of scared? I kind of relate to him. Like I want to yell and scream and throw my feelings all over everyone else so I don't have to deal with them.
Yeah, I can see that. But you know that he DOES have to deal with them, eventually, and he's just making a bigger mess for himself and everyone around him, right?
😩 But it would be so satisfying in the moment.
Ok yeah. I hear you. I guess I am just always thinking of my future self and how to make life better for her so I don't want to go around making huge messes.
😩 And I want to make some messes. I want to not care.
That's valid. What kind of mess do you have in mind?
😩 Oh I don't want to MAKE a mess. I just want to know I can.
Oh, I hear you. That's important - to know you can express yourself however you want to. I'm sorry, dd I make you feel like you can't do that today?
😩 You did, when I was all "I'm tired and stuck and don't want to do anything!" and you insisted we get dressed and come here. I mean you were right, I am happier here, and I am glad we got the blood moving with a bike ride. But I also want you to acknowledge how I was feeling.
Well, yeah that's why I am in this conversation.
😩 Oh! Right. It's like I am so used to feeling like nobody cares that I don't notice when someone is trying to care.
I do care. I care about you, my stuck, just as much as I care about my future self.
😩 Oh. Whoa. I never thought of it that way.
Well it's true. So what do you need today?
😩 To acknowledge that you made some big decisions this week. Like sometimes you decide something and move on it SO FAST and I just feel lost.
(Sitting and breathing for a few minutes, focusing on how this feels in my body)
Do you feel that? That faster moving and heart-more-open energy flowing in my body right now?
😩 Yes.
That's what is fuelling this decision. It's ALIGNMENT, it's not "moving fast". I've been working on this stuff a long time, and when the next level snapped into alignment for me, I knew what needed to shift. Once I have that clarity and alignment it's really hard to NOT act on it, because then I know I am OUT of alignment. But I see how it can feel too fast for you. What can I do to help you with that?
😩 It helps to hear that it's about alignment and not about just making a fast decision and acting on it immediately. It felt like you didn't take time to think about it, and that's a bit scary to me.
OK this is FASCINATING. Because you started this conversation talking about the man who was just SCREAMING swearing angry so loud I could hear him just riding my bike past his house. And you felt like you wished you could express yourself that freely.... but when I express myself that freely - via taking immediate action when I feel that deep down in my heart and soul alignment - you want us to stop and get stuck.
😩 WHOA. I didn't see that. It's true. You are expressing yourself VIVIDLY by taking action on your inner inspiration and I was wanting to shut you down.
You didn't feel safe.
😩 No. But then I was jealous of the man who felt he could just be a big asshole with his feelings... so LOUDLY!
You wanted to feel.... what is it, entitled?... to express your feelings.
Just sitting with this. Feeling the stuck and bad mood dissolving.
Getting un-stick by validating all feelings and letting myself BE exactly where I AM is one of my favourite things to do, and I share LOTS of different ways to do it (with guided meditations and journaling sheets) inside Dream Book. I'll even show you how to create an entire "Un-Sticking Station in your journal.
