I wanted to share something that I did post on social media this weekend but it felt important enough to share here too.
This was my post:
I’ve been enjoying the holidays AND feeling a growing anxiety about getting the content ready for the Year of Hope which starts on Jan 1. It is mostly ready - just a few things to do. So I knew that I had enough time AND I felt anxious about not already having it done.
But then today I started actually…. working on the content. Editing the videos, to be specific.
And then all of the anxiety was gone.
I’m like “holy fuck this is so good!” “I’m so good at this!” “I love my work!” I feel so grateful for the people who are going to do the Year of Hope with me. I feel so grateful I get to do this work. I feel EXCITED about what a renewed relationship with hope can do for us in 2025…
And I feel 100% sure I can get this all done and ready on time.
I see now that all of that anxiety was from NOT DOING.
This happens a lot with our creative dreams. It’s easier to doubt them when we’re not working on them. Once we’re working on them, there isn’t as much space for doubt.
And then I made a video on Instagram talking about it a bit more.
Once we are IN THE PROCESS there is less space for self doubt.
This doesn't mean we should be working on our dreams 24-7!!!
Or that we will never have self doubt if we are working on them.
Just good to remember that showing up, doing what you can and taking the steps that are possible to take right now DOES go a long way to helping us believe in ourselves, and our dreams.
Some practices for self doubt from the Creative Dream Alchemy Library of Inner Work Practices in membership:
Alchemy process for self doubt
20 minute alchemy meditation video with a journaling sheet
Self Doubt Relief
ALSO a 20 minute alchemy meditation video with a journaling sheet but a different process. It's good to work with this in different ways!
Your Self Doubt Is Not Yours You Deserve To Believe In Yourself
Recording of a 1 hour class with a guided journal
Year of Hope will start on Jan 1!
But check your email on the 31th, I'll send out a link to the classroom.
Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:
Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.
Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.
Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.
Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.
On Fridays I do my Dream Status Report which is a series of prompts I use every week to help me have more clarity, momentum and groundedness on my path. I do my reports on the printable journaling sheet.
This holiday has been hard for me, for a bunch of reasons.
And it feels extra hard because I had been feeling SO GOOD this month! A
nd as much as I want to stay in that super positive hopeful vibe I’ve been in for most of this month while dreaming up the Year of Hope for 2025….the truth is, I’m sad.
And FEELING sad when I AM sad is the only way to be with myself.
And if I have to abandon myself in order to be hopeful (which is what a LOT of new age and alternative healing practices are teaching with the “good vibes only” bullshit) THAT IS NOT ACTUALLY HOPE.
Real hope happens in real life which also has other real feelings, even the ones that feel the opposite of hopeful.
Because really, being willing to feel what you’re actually feeling is one of the most hopeful things we can do.
As an introvert, I was looking forward to a quieter-than-I’ve-ever-had holiday but the reality of it, and all of the things it triggers, are not what I had hoped for.
And that’s ok.
I sat with my Year of Hope journal and did some journaling about what I hope the Year of Hope will bring me. I baked and then ate some gingerbread. I took baths and naps. I walked to the big box stores on Boxing Day to get half price Christmas lights and hung them up over my bed and that is pretty dreamy.
I also cashed in some credit card points I had been saving for a trip to Paris with my ex, and used them to get some stuff for around the house - to make things cozier and to upgrade some of my baking/cooking supplies.
Taking care of myself when I feel sad.. feels hopeful.
Accepting that this is what it is... feels hopeful.
I am really looking forward to the Year of Hope! The classroom is almost ready to go, I plan (hope?) to open it up on Dec 31st. I'll send an email to everyone in the membership with a link as soon as it's ready.
Today is the December New Moon call.
This feels like such a perfect way to end the year! I hope to see you there, but if you can't make it live, the replay will be on that page a few hours after we're done.
Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:
Come to the forum to share your Dream Status Report or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.
Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.
Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.
Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.
If you're not a member - find out more + join us here!
Some tools from the Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership:
Creative Dream HOLYday: The Creative Dream HOLYday is a great way to start a new year or a new project, or get back on track when you've fallen off or to GO DEEPER into whatever it is you are doing.
Get ready for 2025 with the Create a year-long project that fits your life and gets you the results you want. This is also available for free here.
Or with the Goodbye 2024 Hello 2025 journal, Goodbye 2024 Releasing Ceremony and (in January) Hello 2025 Blessing Ceremony. Outside of the membership you can also get the journal on it's own.
Dream Plan Kit if you have some time to get your projects organized over the holidays.
The Love Your Life Creative Journal Class is just a sweet one for this time of year.
Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:
Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.
Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.
Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.
Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.
I am going to be posting here less over the holidays, but I am working on a post with suggestions for things to do if you have some time over the holidays for your dreams. Hopefully I will have that ready for tomorrow!
I am so excited about my Year of Hope project for 2025.
I took this photo with the pen to show you the SCALE of how thick this planner is! It still makes me laugh every time I look at it. This is the dual planner (plus an extra page for each week) that I am going to fill with HOPE as my daily creative practice in 2025.
There is the Year of Hope - where we practice hope together in the membership, with a journal prompt every week and an alchemy meditation for hope.
And then there is MY Year of Hope, my own creative practice where I am filling this huge 2025 daily planner with hope. (Get the Create A Year-Long Project That Fits Your Life And Gets You The Results you Want here - this is a free journal to help you set up your own project)
I am putting a LOT of energy into preparing for this. Making wishes and claiming my dreams for what I want from this.
I feel like I have a renewed relationship with hope ALREADY just from setting this intention.
What I really want to get from this is the magic of being deeper in a creative practice, with a sturdy container to hold me. The intention to fill this really heavy book, the physicality of how it’s actually heavy. The blank pages ready to be filled. The satisfaction of seeing them get filled.
But mostly the way I change when I am deeper in a transformative creative healing practice.
Dream Book is already that.
This is another layer.
I am so ready for a new layer, with less structure. Dream Book’s structure helps make sure you are moving towards your dream. Having less structure in this daily journal makes more space for the unknown. I'm feeling like I want more of both in the new year.
Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:
Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.
Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.
Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.
Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.
On Fridays I do my Dream Status Report which is a series of prompts I use every week to help me have more clarity, momentum and groundedness on my path. I do my reports on the printable journaling sheet.
I was struck with a realization this week...
My "default setting" (I don't know why it just feels better to describe it this way, than to say "the pattern I am in") is to work REALLY REALLY hard. Doesn't matter what the situation, I have this belief that hard work will solve anything.
Driving the hard work is the belief that I can work hard enough to EARN validation.
This isn't a new realization.
But this week I saw it in a new way, like I got to the next layer of it.
And I experienced it a 100% futile, which felt like a miracle.
Like - there is no reason to work harder that just isn't the solution.
This is a miracle because as I said "default setting" is the best way to describe this pattern. So it's how I learned to see the world - it's my LENSE.
The lenses through which we see the world tend to be invisible to us because it's just how we see things. Even when we are super self aware. Even when we work on this stuff all the time. It's still really hard to see the things that are invisible to us!
So this IS a miracle, to see it in a new light.
And to choose to take a different approach.
So I am just really grateful to see this in a new light this week, and to see that I have space to make a different choice.
And for those who have been following for a long time - it was in 2021 that my dream was sending me all of those "slow the fuck down!" messages.... and I keep receiving them in new ways. (Membership members: Get the Slow The Fuck Down BE as Powerful, Creative + Magnetic as you ARE classes here.
No call this week as we wind down a little for the holidays. If you missed it - get the replay of the Goodbye 2024 Releasing Ceremony here.
Next Friday we've got the December New Moon call.
Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:
Come to the forum to share your Dream Status Report or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.
Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.
Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.
Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.
Continued from yesterday's post about making a decision in my business...
I did decide to give the journal away.
And I was feeling a bit like... why am I doing this? Like, I have other things I am doing, why am I adding this? It feels so random! The timing felt wrong.
But then I was like... hey what if I trust my creative process?
What if it's fine that I didn't plan it? This journal just kind of happened while I was working on my ideas for the Year of Hope and I am really happy to be able to share it, why feel frustrated about figuring out HOW?
Which is something I could look at much more deeply - where patterns around "doing things right" can make my work less fun... or can interfere with my relationship with my business.
Because it feels messy!
To say - I aimed to create this (Year of Hope) and in the process created this (Create A Year-Long Project That Fits Your Life And Gets You The Results You Want).
In my mind, they are connected since they came out of the same creative process and they can be used together BUT they are two completely separate things.
But like - this is my creative process. Unexpected things happen. I am not aiming to be in control of it! I am not aiming for a straight line... I just have all of this cultural conditioning that judges my lines when they are not straight.
Back to the robe I sewed.
When I joined the pattern club and was looking through my new patterns I was a little surprised that there were 2 robe patterns. Like who would need 2 different robe patterns?
I only downloaded one of them, because it also had nightgowns that I want to make included. So that's the one I sewed.
But now that I've made it, I see why the other pattern would be good to have too. I actually WANT another robe in the other pattern.
I thought having 2 different robe patterns was extreme -> I made 1 robe -> I now really want to have 2 robes from 2 different patterns.
The creative process changed me.
I am circling something here.
Something about enjoying and appreciating the ways my creative process changes me. And valuing my creative process for what it is and not judging it based on outcomes.
One thought that's been rolling around in my mind is: I would like to be less of an entrepreneur and more of an artist.
I know this is not the first time I have explored that! But it wants to be explored again. This feels really important for how I want to do things in 2025.
Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:
Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.
Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.
Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.
Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.
The creative process is not linear.
I've been creating the Year of Hope as my own project for 2025 AND as an offering for us to practice hope together.
My personal project is more intense than the group thing because that's just what I feel really inspired to do... and I want the group hope practice to be easy to participate in.
So, at some point it kind of split into two things: the process of creating a year-long (or other time frame) project that fits your life and gets you the results you want AND the Year of Hope group project where we practice hope together.
Because I worked on them together, because from within my creative process they fit together, I was seeing them as being together, part of the same thing.
I realized today - they are NOT. They are two things. You could use them together but you can have cookies and ice cream together too, that doesn't mean they are the same or should be stored together in the same place.
So, Creating A Year Long Project That Fits Your Life And Gets You The Results You Want is now it's own thing. That is small (currently about 10 pages) journal with a 14 minute video where I talk about setting up these kinds of projects.
This will be available in the membership, of course.
Then the next question is...
Do I want to sell this outside of the membership?
OR
Do I want to give this away?
Like, it feels like a really timely thing that could be a good promotional tool for the Creative Dream Incubator.
There's a lot to look at - like you could make more money giving away a simple thing for free if it promotes another paid thing. Or it could generate goodwill or visibility for the business. There's also nothing wrong with selling our work!
It's just... what feels right for me right now? What makes sense for the Creative Dream Incubator?
It's interesting to suddenly have a "new product" in a sense, since I was really seeing this as a part of the Year of Hope, and now it's it's own thing.
So I am doing the Meeting Your Dream And The Soul Of Your Business meditation from the Dream Lab, I haven't done this one in a long time.
OK that was so good!
My dream was a jack-in-the-box and I was winding it, and it felt like "just keep showing up and eventually it will pop out"
...until I started to worry that it's broken and will never pop out, lol.
But then my dream appeared as Glinda the Good Witch ( I saw Wicked this weekend!) and she pointed her wand at it and I knew that she can make the box pop any time, but that she would wait for the right time, for me. That getting the whole thing at once would be too much.
And I felt calm and trusting.
And I showed them both my project and told them my ideas and it was like...
It doesn't matter what you do
That's the only message I could get from them.
Like - yeah this is good either way. Do which ever you like.
So I imagined doing each, and thought about the energy required for each.
I'm not ready to make the decision, but I feel a lot more calm and trusting. I want to think it through a little more, because they both feel pretty good and I want to go with the one that feels BEST and I feel like I will know that if I map out each option more clearly (in terms of what kind of work I would be doing, either way).
Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:
Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.
Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.
Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.
Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.
I'm writing this one on the weekend.
Weekends, for the last little while, are all about SEWING. I wrote about this last week, how I have SO MUCH creative energy for sewing and so little for other things and how - being in the flow FEELS GOOD and maybe just go with that instead of trying to control it?
I have this new dream of sewing up ALL of my stash - which is actually not that big, since I've never had much storage space in the loft I had a pretty strict policy of only buying what I was ready-ish to sew. But still - I've gathered a stash over the years.
This is combined with the fact that I joined an online sewing membership!
JOINING MEMBERSHIPS IS AWESOME 🤩😉
Support and tools! In this case - patterns. If you pay annually instead of monthly you get all of the previous monthly patterns, so I did that, and I have an entire new wardrobe of sewing patterns.
Last night I cut out a robe - a gorgeous large floral print thin-ish cotton and I had enough fabric for a full length rode with hood! That takes a LOT of fabric, lol.
I've been thinking about how first thing in the morning, my cat Bear is downstairs crying for breakfast and I am rummaging around to find something comfy to put on to go feed him. For some reason, I don't want to go downstairs naked, but I also don't enjoy looking for something to wear.
And what if I just had a gorgeous robe to put on? Avoid that whole thing where I search for clothes.
AND THEN I feel the way you feel in a gorgeous robe vs the way you feel in whatever sweatpants you found on your bedroom floor. (Which is VERY comfy, I'm not knocking sweatpants)
I'm not just sewing up all of my stash - I am looking at each fabric and asking - how can this best serve me in my new life I am creating?
Like the puffy vest I made is soooo soft and sooo warm and just a delight to put on on a chilly day.
And I am realizing - I really am creating these clothes for my Dream Self.
With the Canada Post strike things are sooo delayed, so I don't know when I'll get it, but I also ordered fabric at a Black Friday sale. It's a pink floral print that I'd had my eye on for a long time, but it's a knit fabric and I didn't use a lot of knits before. But now? I have a pattern for a really pretty nightgown that uses knit fabric.
So, once I have that, in the morning I'll put on this gorgeous flowery nightgown and then this gorgeous flowery robe, and... well it feels like I won't sleepily stumble down the stairs to feed the cat, I will FLOAT because of how these clothes and fabrics make me feel.
I know I am losing some people who don't care about clothes but this isn't about clothes!
I have a degree in fashion design, I don't like the fashion industry but I LOVE self-expression through clothing. And there is something to be said for "dressing for the job you want" but in terms of dressing as the person you want to be. Because you exude that when you're dressed as it, so it helps you dial in on BEING the energy of your dream self.
But it's not about the clothes and I wasn't doing any of this "dressing for my Dream Self" intentionally! I was just following my creative flow and doing what felt interesting and inspiring.
And now here I am, seeing how it fits, seeing how I am creating this really sturdy support for me to BE my dream self.
AND making clothes for myself just feels good. And we need ALL THE FEEL GOOD THINGS.
Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:
Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.
Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.
Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.
Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.
I felt like staying in bed this morning, but I didn’t! I got dressed and did my 30 minute walk to the coffee shop during the sunrise which really “should” have given me enough dopamine to get into it...
But here I am, in the coffee shop, my coffee is done and I am still blah.
So I am taking “I’m not feeling it today” into the Un-Sticking Station to see what happens.
Hey there, part of me who is not feeling it today, how are you?
Well. I’m just not feeling it.
Yeah, I see that. That sucks!
Ehhh. I don’t know.
Are you happy to not be feeling it?
Not happy, just… meh I guess.
Yeah, and I’m just not sure here - do you want to just be meh today or should we try to look at what is happening here? Or - is there something you need?
I sit with these questions for much longer than you would think.
I think about how this year I have been exploring resistance and the last few months those explorations have just lost steam…. because, in general, I am feeling so much more in the flow.
I think about what a big adjustment I’ve made this year, with the end of my marriage at the end of 2023.
I think about what a big adjustment I’ve made going on hormones after really struggling with perimenopause.
I think about all of the clothes I have been sewing and how it feels like I am creating a new wardrobe for a new version of myself.
I think about how I decided to start the Year of Hope project in November and since then preparing for it has felt like I am learning to embody hope in a new way and this has been another big shift.
And it feels like…. I just need to rest.
This doesn’t feel blah or meh anymore, just feels like rest is needed.
Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:
Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.
Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.
Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.
Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.
On Fridays I do my Dream Status Report which is a series of prompts I use every week to help me have more clarity, momentum and groundedness on my path. I do my reports on the printable journaling sheet.
I've done this weekly reflection practice for years and sometimes I have a lot of resistance to it.
This is one of those times.
You know that week between Christmas and New Years when everything is kind of weird and it's like you can't stay in your regular routines? I feel the pull of that already.
This year I am dreaming of a last-week-of-the-year full of art and sewing and great snacks.
But here I am, a few weeks away from that, why am I in so much resistance to doing this thing this week?
I guess because I am getting ready for the Goodbye 2024 Release Ceremony, that larger process of reflection kind of eclipses this smaller process of reflection.
Having a a few regular routines around reflection and intention setting does mean that sometimes the larger routines conflict with the smaller ones. Do I want to just skip this for this week and focus on my yearly reflection?
Oh no, a part of me does want to do this.
I am reminding myself that I have multiple routines for reflection and intention setting (this weekly one, the monthly new moon ritual and the annual reflection) because without consistent reflection, all of this creative dreaming doesn't get TRACTION.
This reflective practices help us learn from our process, refine our approach and narrow in on our dreams.
So, filling out the sheet...
OH WOW!
Looking at what has been happening, what I am feeling and learning... this new inspiration/idea is taking place for a new way to approach how I am working with my dream right now.
This also feels like it feeds the Year of Hope project with some ideas for ways to fill those pages with hope.
This feels VERY generative. I'm glad I worked through that resistance and did the Dream Status Report practice this week!!
🦄⚡️The Goodbye 2024 Releasing Ceremony is today!
Hope to see you there - or catch the replay over the weekend! Call details + replays are here.
Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:
Come to the forum to share your Dream Status Report or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.
Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.
Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.
Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.