I started a new Dream Self Page in my Dream Book for "being deeper in my creative and spiritual practices". I want to feel more creative and alive and I don't really know what this looks like yet.
This feels like an important part of my other dreams and also like a dream in itself, so I wanted to explore this version of me who is really DEEP in the practices. This version of me seems to NATURALLY get into her practices and not get distracted by other things the way I have been lately.
I started the page by giving in a title and put the date in the corner and... nothing.
I was a little annoyed with myself for putting the date in, because then I could see how long it had been without me coming back and doing anything with it.
At the two week mark, I started journaling about how it felt that I am so stuck with this. That this dream self seems so far away from me. I felt like I had failed... but then I journaled about how hard it's been to adjust to this medication I am on and how really - I AM DOING MY BEST.
And then I started thinking about how it doesn't matter what it looks like - I am doing AMAZING because I am showing up. It's fine to just bitch in your journal about how stuck you are, and doing so is so much better than avoiding your journal because you are stuck.
Then I started working on the Dream Self and it was amazing, it felt like I was really getting in touch with his part of me.
Then I started a list of things that can help me be this version of me more often.
And I noticed that I am doing a lot of these things, and there are ways I can be better at supporting myself, and new things to add to the mix.
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