With this new perspective that I shared yesterday, I realized that the dream I've been working on in my Dream Book is a bit off.

I still want this thing, but it's really more of a GOAL than a DREAM.

How do you know the difference? It's just how it feels to you. Every year I use the Goodreads app to track my goal of reading 50 books. I like who I am when I'm reading regularly but I am not DREAMING of finishing these books. But when I started this, when I wasn't reading that much, it did feel like more of a dream. Things can shift around.

Also, you can do Dream Book with dreams or goals or anything you want.

There is this shift for me in my relationship with and feelings about this dream I've been working on.

My dream has been really outer focused - which is completely fine!

But I am realizing that the path I saw there - deepening my creative practices - is actually THE DREAM.

This might not make sense to anyone but me and that's ok! Our dreams do not have to make sense to other people. And our process, at times, most likely CAN'T make sense to other people.

I also saw how much I am RESISTING deepening my creative practice.

And how easy it is to be in resistance when the goal/dream is so vague. Like what does "deepening a practice" even mean? What does it look like? What do I actually want here?

Those are such good questions to begin with, to help me define this dream.

Also the first questions you get in Dream Book - WHY do you want it and how will you feel when you have it? They help clarify too.

And clarity comes from diving into the foggy waters.

So to help me figure out how to do this, I am re-starting Dream Book with this new dream.

So, I am looking through my first bunch of pages in my Dream Book and it's interesting that I have space here to just add new stuff in.

All the work I have done with this dream really had led me to this place of shifting my whole relationship with it and shifting my understanding of what I REALLY want.

This is SO GOOD!!!!

And at the same time, it feels discouraging because I've lost some of the certainty I was feeling a few months ago.

Combined with how my life feels a bit out of my control because I am dealing with all of these side effects and just not feeling good - this just feels like such a good time to slow down and really BE WITH the questions.

What do I want? Like, what do I really, really want?

Who do I want to be, at the end of this transformative experience?

What helps me get there?

 

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