Over the weekend I spent a lot of time circling my resistance.

I listened to this podcast about Psilocybin and midlife. They did say a few things that I found disturbingly ableist about how if you have physical symptoms during perimenopause that's just a sign that you are not taking proper care of yourself. But they also said some really helpful things about midlife as a transformative experience.

I've been forgetting that part.

I've been having a really hard time, my doctor is helping me and I believe her that everything will get easier but it takes some people up to 3 months to adjust and I seem to be one of those people. All of my symptoms are worse AND I have more symptoms as side effects of the treatment.

So, our the last little while, I have retreated. Resistance kind of pulled me into a nice comforting hug. Let's just distract ourselves as much as possible and wait to feel better...

Which would be fine if I didn't potentially have 2 more months of this.

Or maybe it would be fine for 2 more months IF my creative spark wasn't so desperate to come out.

After listening to that podcast I thought... what I really want from this time is to experience it as a CREATIVE PORTAL.

Like - all the places where I have been wanting to GO BACK to who I was I want to fill with ACCEPTANCE and PRESENCE.

I can't go back. I can find out what is possible here.

This shift in perspective is so exciting.

It doesn't change my symptoms. But it can change how I experience all of this down time.

And I don't think we need to be in perimenopause to decide to be in a CREATIVE PORTAL.

Technically, EVERY DREAM IS A CREATIVE PORTAL. It's an invitation and an opening.

So, we can choose to step into a creative portal any time we want. We can CREATE times of healing, growth and transformation with our intention and our choices.

So, I am re-starting my dream book with a new focus.

I will share more about that tomorrow.

 

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