Yesterday we had our monthly Marketing as a Creative + Spiritual Practice call (Membership members, get the replay here) and our conversation was delicious as always.

One person shared that she feels TOO BIG to do things in some of the ways she had been doing, she felt BIGGER than some of the things that were being offered to her and she wanted to spend time re-connecting to her BIGNESS, so she could show up in a bigger way and be receiving bigger opportunities.

It can feel disorienting to be like "I felt bigger before, why did I let myself shrink and how do I re-biggify myself?"

I think everything is cyclical and nothing is constant. We grow, we shrink, we move directions, we find ourselves in new ways at different times in our lives.

That moment of noticing "I am not quite where I wanted to be" and also "I am not where I once was" can feel so discouraging.

But it is an invitation.

I'm feeling a lot of that, in different ways.

Fourteen years ago I was exploring how to set up my work/creative life to support me in the work I wanted to do. After years of exploring and refining my routines and systems - I started to take for granted that I KNOW HOW TO DO THIS.

Well, right now I don't know.

A lot of what I learned about what really works for me...  I'm just not sure it still works. I mean it works - but I want MORE.

BIGGER.

DEEPER.

I've been wanting something to change and it's been hard to identify what, exactly, it is. Or sometimes I can identify what it is, but I can't see a way to get to it.

Listening to what is calling us next is tricky work. It's a process.

But this is what I came back from the creative retreat with:

Creativity is powerful. Like WHOA POWERFUL.

And our creative genius is always bigger than the obstacles.

I know most of my obstacles right now are internal. The self doubt. The resistance. The discomfort of trying new things.

Those long-held patterns around how I show up for my creativity are hard to change... This feels especially frustrating because I set them up very intentionally and deliberately and carefully so that they would serve me.

But nothing works forever.

And I need new routines for where I am now.

It's disorienting to see what needs to change. Disappointing to see "I'm not feeling how I want to feel". Exciting to think of what could change. Exhausting to be the one who has to make the change.

So I'm just going to keep taking messy steps with this.

 

Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.