I'm feeling completely stuck with my current obstacle, so I did The Obstacle Is The Way Through alchemy meditation.

First thoughts: FUCK I HATE THIS

I feel nervous and unsettled and like no I do not want to meet this obstacle, I just want it gone. I am making lots of space for my discomfort before I even get to that part in the audio, lol.

OK, it’s very nice to have my discomfort be validated.

Inviting my dream in… it’s this soft bellied round bird. Snuggly. A snuggly bird? Kind of like my cat, it sits beside me and I put my hand on it. It feels reassuring in one sense, but I also feel acutely aware of the parts of me who feel this dream is impossible, and the parts of me who judge me for feeling incapable.

I turn off the recording and just sit with that. It’s SO hard to move forward with something with these conflicting thoughts and feelings inside.

Then I made a journal page about that.

Now back to the meditation.

I was SO enjoying being in the field of creative dream alchemy that I was no longer paying attention when it got to the obstacle part. LOL hello resistance!

Backing up, coming back to invite the obstacle in.

The obstacle I am working with is this feeling/experience that NOTHING WORKS

The meditation gets so trippy here and I turn off the audio again to be with it.

My obstacle is a black box with a HUGE gravitational force. I hold onto it and I’m kind of like floating upside down, like it’s pulling me downward, and it feels like we could go downward forever while I’m in this handstand.

I try to let go but the gravitational force is still there. The box is up against my face and then starts to stretch and grow and unfurl around me, thinner but still feels like metal. Like the box is stretching out. It surrounds me and I ask what it wants and it wants to hold me here.

And I’m like What? Why?

And then I see a glitch like the scene could change, like I could build stairs out of the metal to build my way out…

Sure enough now there are tools beside me and I get the sense I could use this metal that's all around me to build a staircase that leads to where I want to be.

But WHY carry me so far down, so that I need to build a staircase?

I go back to the meditation. Now I feel SO RELIEVED to hear the parts about energy shifting from simply being with the obstacle.

Maybe my question about why the black box took me so low down isn’t relevant.

I feel like I have a lot of tools here, and a lot of metal, I can build a nice bridge.

Hmmmm, it felt like “staircase” before and now it feels like “bridge”

I love the idea of a bridge.

How can I and my obstacle work together to get to my dream?

Build a bridge.

Oh…

I mean… duh yes that’s what all of this is. Having a Creative Dream Practice builds a bridge to where you want to be.

AND

Something about it, this obstacle in particular, feels like an opportunity.

Will keep exploring.

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