Deep beneath a lot of other things is this part of me that is looking for the RIGHT WAY to do things.

And it’s looking OUTSIDE of me for this right way.

It’s tapped into capitalism’s promise: that if you conform to dominant culture and do things the way they say to do things then you guaranteed safety, security, abundance, joy and love.

This is bullshit.

AND it’s so deeply engrained.

When I connect with the soul of the Creative Dream Incubator it asks me to stop looking outside of myself for answers. (using either the Dream Lab or the connecting with the soul of your business practices)

But I don’t know the way to do things that will guarantee that things will work out for me.

This is the terror and vulnerability of creative dreaming.

There isn’t a way to know.

I know the internet is full of gurus who insist that there is a way. Follow these rules, do it this way, put your own unique spin on it for “authenticity’s” sake, but DO IT THIS WAY IF YOU DON’T WANT TO FAIL.

But the truth is - there isn’t a way to know.

You take steps. You try stuff. You heal, grow, and learn in the process. And then each new step is on more solid ground…

But there are no guarantees.

And this is terrifying.

So yeah, this part of me, deep down inside, keeps looking for the guarantees.

And this part of me keeps assuming that if things are not going well for me, that’s because I AM DOING SOMETHING WRONG. And if I could only do the RIGHT things, then I would have everything work out exactly how I want it.

Which only invites shame in which invites in fear and panic. It’s not good.

Looking outside of me for answers is not good.

And I keep doing it.

So I practice NOTICING SOONER that this is what I am doing.

 

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