I set a big goal for my business for 2014: to welcome 800 dreamers into my Creative Dream Circle. And to do this not by getting super pushy about selling – but to do this with heart and soul and creativity and joy and LOVE.(you can read my original post about this here)

At this point though, I’m not interested in the numbers.What I am excited about is having that feeling of DOING MY BEST, to grow my capacity serve dreamers in bringing their dreams to life inside the Circle, to DO MY BEST to work on the places where I hide and hold back, to DO MY BEST so share my gifts. ? And I want to explore more about how I want this all to work for me, and how I want to feel inside it.

In support of this goal, I am writing weekly updates on Fridays, for all of 2014. This is where I’ll share the story of all the ups and downs of bringing a big dream to life.

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Last week’s update was uncomfortable for me to share (later that day I added another post about how being in the process of change is hard) ?Last week I wasn’t sure what my dream was anymore, which, as a professional dreamer, is embarrassing to admit.? But it is a part of the process.

A faraway dream is pristine.? It’s perfect and beautiful and you just know that once you get it your whole life will change and you will be deliciously happy every day always for the end of time.

Dreams you’re working on are messy.? It’s like that dreamboat you see from across a crowded room looks much better in that moment than they do when they’re leaving their dirty socks on the floor as though the clothes hamper isn’t right there.

That pristine dream is a fantasy.? To bring that dream from fantasy into reality you have to… bring it into reality, which is messy and awkward and hard sometimes and doesn’t look like how you thought it would but OMG it feels amazing it have it for real.

Messy, awkward and hard are just a part of the process and do NOT mean there is anything wrong.? That’s why I make sure to share the awkward hard parts, without them you don’t get to the dream come TRUE.

Giving up just because it’s hard is lame.? And holding onto that fantasy instead of having the reality is lame.

So, last week was hard.? I was doing a lot of work shifting my perceptions and moving my comfort zones around, which is really, really awkward to do.? (For Creative Dream Circle members, Module 4 of the Creative Dream Incubator helps with this)

Working through all of that hard made this week FUCKING AMAZING.? I got more clarity on what I really really want and feel more sure about myself, which is what happens when you work through the hard parts.

Creative Dream Update Questions Part 1:

(I don’t do Part 1 every week, but since things are shifting so much now I am re-doing this part)

My dream is:? To do my best.? To know and feel deep down in my bones that I am doing my best in creating the Circle and holding the Circle and growing the Circle.? To do my best to work on the places where I hold back and hide and play small – not to hit a certain number, but so that I can do my best to share my gifts.? And to keep growing what “my best” is.? With this as my focus for the rest of the year, I can see it opening up new possibilities for other projects for next year.

I want it because: This feels like how I grow into more of who I am.? It lights me up.

When I have it I will feel: At peace, connected, aligned, deeply joyful, in the flow.? Free-er.

Then my regular Creative Dream Update Questions:

What happened in the last week?

Last weekend I had the big breakthrough, which looked like this:

That’s where, after feeling so fuzzy and unclear – everything about my dream became clear.? That’s where I re-wrote what my dream is.

And I kept playing in my mandala journal to get more insights.

(I am doing a Mandala Journal class this fall in the Creative Dream Circle.? This week I posted about it in the Circle to get people’s thoughts, questions and ideas for what they want me to cover in this class.)

I started a whole new Treasure-Mapping Journal.

And I did make a video about it where I talk more about how I went from fog to clear skies.

I did a lot of coaching this week, including a day-long in-person coaching session, which is my first time doing that and it totally rocked.? Here I am getting ready to go that morning:

I had such a great time with that I would like to explore if I want to offer day-long virtual coaching retreats.? Kind of blows me away to think of what we can accomplish in just one (super-focused, super-magic) day.

I’m also in love with my small group coaching for world-changing coaches/healers/teachers and am thinking about doing more of that kind of work.? The small group is MAGIC.

How do I feel about this?

I feel so, so so so good.? I love my new direction/clarity.

When I set my dream of welcoming 800 people into the Creative Dream Circle this year, I didn’t pick that number out of a hat.? I was using all the things I teach, to? listen to my intuition and to my dream itself about what my next steps are.

I know that reaching towards 800 is what is helping me get clear on what I really want.? It was an important part of the process.

Last week I went on hiatus from making videos for the rest of the summer. Last week I needed to feel the feeling of having the whole rest of the summer off from doing videos.? I needed that space.

That feeling mattered, the actual break may not matter at all.

Then this week I did a new video.? This week I felt differently and really wanted to share this story in a video.? All we can ever know for sure is what we need right now.? I feel happy and free about giving myself the space to sort out what I need and how I want to keep moving forward.

I’m also feeling really super grateful about where I am right now.? To be able to pay for my happy life without needing a job and while doing the things that light me up is really special.? While life is always evolving and I am always evolving and there are always more adventures to go on and more ways to grow, even if I stayed right here for the rest of my life that would be pretty awesome.

What do I need now?

Lots of Treasure-Mapping!? I love how that process shifted how I was feeling and I want to dive deeper into it before teaching it next week. (Click here for Treasure-Mapping class details)

What does my dream need now?

My dream is so happy that I’m feeling the love and am deeply and happily committed to it.? What it needs is for me to be more deliberately connected to it in the moment, to remember that it’s already here as I keep stepping into it.

Taking all of this into account, my next mission is:

DO MY BEST for next week’s Treasure-Mapping class.

Keep making my own maps and drawing mandalas and having lots of good quality quiet creative time.